FabSwingers.com forum: Unconditional Love

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There's a school of thought which says the only true, unconditional who-would-you-die-for love is a mother's love for her children.

Now, obviously that contention sticks in the craw of a lot of guys, understandably, but it's not about your own self-image of yourself, your ego, which likes to think that in a fight-or-flee situation your primal instinct would be to protect your offspring. Research suggests on a primal level you're evolved instinct is, "I can reproduce more offspring, even when I can't wipe my own arse anymore. I'm off." It's an uncomfortable thought but it got the species to survive this far so don't knock it.

Obviously there are exceptions - mothers and fathers both kill themselves with their children for various reasons - but when a male of any species is confronted they flee, or at least weigh up the consequences of fighting, whereas the females react the same way every time.

I don't have kids so I can't say. But it's an interesting contention so here it is for you to ponder.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple
over a year ago

North Cornwall

Well I know that I would laydown my life without hesitation for my children if it were a life or death situation but am pretty sure that my oh would too... Lets not forget that there are also women out there who have walked away from their children as their new guy doesnt want them. So I guess what Im saying is... I understand the generalisation but it is just that, very general.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are two girls i would die for to save them if necessary (my daughter and my other half)

However i personally don't think unconditional love is wise in any situation cause if either did something seriously criminally wrong IE murder fa no good reason (self defence or summat)

Then i would walk away its a grey area really xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex-husband would do anything for our children...he's not unique. There are women that kill their children for a new partner, to spite an ex etc.

Impossible to generalise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few points about the opening post, he thankfully stated there are exceptions, but i think there are many more than he gives credit for, i am thankful we don't solely function on base instinct, and that it can be overcome on occasion.

In a a life and death situation instinct may give us only two options, social conditioning allows for more, diplomacy and negotiation for example, the ability to see a situation from different perspectives and except the limitations of our own, true unconditional love is hard to define but using the opening definition, i would think anyone is capable but it wouldn't likely be first instinct in all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a school of thought which says the only true, unconditional who-would-you-die-for love is a mother's love for her children."

Obviously they`ve never met our spawn.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's interesting, and it's also theorised that adults project their narcissistic personality traits onto their children, so that they become perceived as almost perfect, which could also be a driver here.

We're all unique, and face our own life experiences as well as choices.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

When my boy was wee I'd have taken a bullet for him.

Now that he's a teenager, I'd take a bullet for him, depending on the circumstances...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience I witness a lot of this unconditional love and it isn't necessarily good for a child to know of this, as it can put out mixed signals that it is ok to behave in a certain fashion as they know they are going to be backed up to the hilt.

This is what I believe, is causing a lot of uncontrollable children plaguing the life out of teachers and peers because they know they will not be chastised at home.

Spare the rod and spoil the child was bandied about a lot from the 60's but I think it may have been misconstrued to remove all boundaries in some families.

We all have personal choices but they still have to be acceptable and decent for society to run smoothly - individuality is to be encouraged but not at the expense of respect for fellow man, in my opinion xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When my boy was wee I'd have taken a bullet for him.

Now that he's a teenager, I'd take a bullet for him, depending on the circumstances..."

I see exactly what you are saying. When my children took driving lessons I was mortified and panicky every time they went out on their own after passing the test. I then thought back to my life at their age and thought I did what I did without a second thought for my own wellbeing never mind what my parnts thought.

It comes to a point where you have to let go and accept they dont need a parent dying for them - mostly because they have children they would die for. So as a grandparent who do you take the bullet for - the child or the grandchild? You have to draw the line at being a parent of a child and being a parent and and equal of an adult child. There is a difference.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I would die for my son no matter how old he was. Unconditional love for me just that, unconditional.

However, when he got into tiffs at school i used to let him get on with it.

Now i believe that you can protect your child to much. Its a big wide world out there and they have to learn how to live within society

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My love for my son is unconditional although i know that he has many faults. I wouldnt however , cover for him if he ever did anything that was against the law. In fact i would shop him if i knew.

I fell in love some years ago, deeply .

And he was the only man i would have died for.

Since that ended, i would never put myself into that position ever again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i love my packet of fox's crinkles unconditionally right now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are right, a mother's love is not always unconditional; my mother only loves my brother and I on the proviso that we pay her back for all those years she looked after us.

I on the other hand love both my kids unconditionally and would do anything for them

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I echo what some have said - I would do anything for mine, unconditionally and without a second thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i know her love is like no other

the one for me is my dear mother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are right, a mother's love is not always unconditional; my mother only loves my brother and I on the proviso that we pay her back for all those years she looked after us.

I on the other hand love both my kids unconditionally and would do anything for them

I think my mum loved me but she prefered my brothers and sister. I only had one kid, but i always said that if ever i had another, i would treat them both exactly the same, no matter what.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"You are right, a mother's love is not always unconditional; my mother only loves my brother and I on the proviso that we pay her back for all those years she looked after us.

I on the other hand love both my kids unconditionally and would do anything for them

I think my mum loved me but she prefered my brothers and sister. I only had one kid, but i always said that if ever i had another, i would treat them both exactly the same, no matter what."
Was just thinking about that, I could honestly say that I love mine equally but I am sure I have not treated them the same because they are all quite different... not that I would be unfair and knowingly do that.. I just think that I would respond to each one of them in a different way if that makes sense ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Parents and children can move from conditional to unconditional love at any time (once the children reach the age of reason), but most never do. Love for your children and vice versa is generally something that is never mentioned between you, but just is.

Smotherly love is called that for a reason. I think some children wallow in it but the majority would be embarrassed by parents who cannot see them as equals and fully independent at some point in the future.

I think my offspring are an awful lot older than most forum posters wee ones and I am in a much different place to those who have yet to experience the changes that their ageing and new roles as parents themselves, brings in your mindset, perhaps.

I will always love my children thats for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow this one is far too deep for me!! Seriously I have kids n proclaiming this that n the other don't appeal to me it's what's in my heart that counts words are cheap, anyone wanna thread on cucumbers as sex toys??

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"Parents and children can move from conditional to unconditional love at any time (once the children reach the age of reason), but most never do. Love for your children and vice versa is generally something that is never mentioned between you, but just is.

I will always love my children thats for sure.

"
I agree with you (dont you challenge me on that one

on teh smotherly love and also on the fact that you go through the different stages with them and the relationships inevitably change...

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By *mith n BonesCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm pretty sure that my parents love me unconditionally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sister is very much my Mum's favourite- I have no problem with that, being a Daddy's girl ..... my Mum however has been known to throw aside her Hyacinth Bucket persona to defend me before.......so yes, unconditionl love doesn't necessarily mean smothering love....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex-husband would do anything for our children...he's not unique. There are women that kill their children for a new partner, to spite an ex etc.

Impossible to generalise."

yup.

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