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"It’s just supply and demand...once you understand that, then everything follows. Imagine if it were the other way around...can you imagine the replies that women would get from men?" I drifted off then, thinking if it was the other way around  | |||
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"It’s just supply and demand...once you understand that, then everything follows. Imagine if it were the other way around...can you imagine the replies that women would get from men? I drifted off then, thinking if it was the other way around "Oh I know, just imagine... | |||
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"It’s just supply and demand...once you understand that, then everything follows. Imagine if it were the other way around...can you imagine the replies that women would get from men? I drifted off then, thinking if it was the other way around
Oh I know, just imagine..."I’m guessing this is Twat replying and not Bitch?  | |||
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" 1. The ratio is against us. 2. Women won't alter X amount of years of evolution, just because someone has made a swingers website. It won't turn them into unpaid whores who will jump into bed with anyone. Sexual selection is always in play and on a website like this, any woman can be as picky as she likes. " Yes there’s a ratio issue but the second point is solely about a woman’s response, no mention of the mans approach. I like single guys and don’t stereotype but of their messages 99% are utter bullshit - lazy, disrespectful, not reading profiles and treat a lady like said unpaid whore (to me anyway, other women’s experience may vary ).
Luckily there’s a small minority who differ and indeed these are mostly the more successful ones. So instead of focusing on the lady being picky and the ratio issue which neither you can control, maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? | |||
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"Haven't viewed the video but whilst it's true that the ratios of men to women is a factor there are numerous other ones that come into play that level the numbers game a little (i.e. if you take out all the single males with unrealistic expectations of the site and those that haven't or don't make an effort). The thing is there are plenty of single guys who ARE meeting single women and couples, who just get on with it without making a big deal of it either way, but you don't tend to hear about it (why would you?) so the thing that sticks in your mind and that gets mentioned on an almost hourly basis are the single guys that bemoan the lack of meets they've had and that alone gives a skewed vision of what actually happens here "However, the bottom line is that most single guys will get little or no action. I agree that those who make an effort will get some action, that's because "making an effort" is a selection criteria for women. If all men suddenly upped their game and started making an effort, that would not effect the supply and demand problem. Most would still not get meets. | |||
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"It’s just supply and demand...once you understand that, then everything follows. Imagine if it were the other way around...can you imagine the replies that women would get from men? I drifted off then, thinking if it was the other way around
Oh I know, just imagine...
I’m guessing this is Twat replying and not Bitch? "It’s always Twat, but then again Bitch may agree lol | |||
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"Hmm not sure about your OP. You talk of two reasons why guys aren’t meeting single women on here; 1. The ratio is against us. 2. Women won't alter X amount of years of evolution, just because someone has made a swingers website. It won't turn them into unpaid whores who will jump into bed with anyone. Sexual selection is always in play and on a website like this, any woman can be as picky as she likes. Yes there’s a ratio issue but the second point is solely about a woman’s response, no mention of the mans approach. I like single guys and don’t stereotype but of their messages 99% are utter bullshit - lazy, disrespectful, not reading profiles and treat a lady like said unpaid whore (to me anyway, other women’s experience may vary ).
Luckily there’s a small minority who differ and indeed these are mostly the more successful ones. So instead of focusing on the lady being picky and the ratio issue which neither you can control, maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? "As I say above, if all men took your advice most would still not get meets. Simply because there are not enough women. | |||
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"Hmm not sure about your OP. You talk of two reasons why guys aren’t meeting single women on here; 1. The ratio is against us. 2. Women won't alter X amount of years of evolution, just because someone has made a swingers website. It won't turn them into unpaid whores who will jump into bed with anyone. Sexual selection is always in play and on a website like this, any woman can be as picky as she likes. Yes there’s a ratio issue but the second point is solely about a woman’s response, no mention of the mans approach. I like single guys and don’t stereotype but of their messages 99% are utter bullshit - lazy, disrespectful, not reading profiles and treat a lady like said unpaid whore (to me anyway, other women’s experience may vary ).
Luckily there’s a small minority who differ and indeed these are mostly the more successful ones. So instead of focusing on the lady being picky and the ratio issue which neither you can control, maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful?
As I say above, if all men took your advice most would still not get meets. Simply because there are not enough women. "If they only approached the ladies who matched their profile they’d have a very different ratio to the scattergun approach, which is what most experience and get disillusioned with. I know some guys one here who meet new ladies every month sometimes every week. I don’t see a lack of ladies actually (and on this side it feels like a lack of men), just a lack of right matching  | |||
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If it happens it happens. Just have fun and chat too you lovely people in the meantime. | |||
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"It’s just supply and demand...once you understand that, then everything follows. Imagine if it were the other way around...can you imagine the replies that women would get from men?" If the numbers were reversed. I don't think it would matter. Women, regardless of numbers, don't have to chase Men. If Women were in the majority, every bloke on here would have a little black book with all kinds of names and numbers in it. Even then, the sexual selection will always kick in. | |||
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"It’s just supply and demand...once you understand that, then everything follows. Imagine if it were the other way around...can you imagine the replies that women would get from men? If the numbers were reversed. I don't think it would matter. Women, regardless of numbers, don't have to chase Men. If Women were in the majority, every bloke on here would have a little black book with all kinds of names and numbers in it. Even then, the sexual selection will always kick in." Really? So if an average single man received 10-50 messages a day, there wouldn’t be some that sent very rude messages back? That ignored messages? That deleted them without reading? I suspect the behaviour would be atrocious (from some men). | |||
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"Hmm not sure about your OP. You talk of two reasons why guys aren’t meeting single women on here; 1. The ratio is against us. 2. Women won't alter X amount of years of evolution, just because someone has made a swingers website. It won't turn them into unpaid whores who will jump into bed with anyone. Sexual selection is always in play and on a website like this, any woman can be as picky as she likes. Yes there’s a ratio issue but the second point is solely about a woman’s response, no mention of the mans approach. I like single guys and don’t stereotype but of their messages 99% are utter bullshit - lazy, disrespectful, not reading profiles and treat a lady like said unpaid whore (to me anyway, other women’s experience may vary ).
Luckily there’s a small minority who differ and indeed these are mostly the more successful ones. So instead of focusing on the lady being picky and the ratio issue which neither you can control, maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful?
As I say above, if all men took your advice most would still not get meets. Simply because there are not enough women.
If they only approached the ladies who matched their profile they’d have a very different ratio to the scattergun approach, which is what most experience and get disillusioned with. I know some guys one here who meet new ladies every month sometimes every week.
I don’t see a lack of ladies actually (and on this side it feels like a lack of men), just a lack of right matching "On the basis of a number of surveys I have done, men out number women about 17 to 1. Hence, even if all men did as you suggest, most would still not get meets, just because there are not enough women to meet them. | |||
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" On the basis of a number of surveys I have done, men out number women about 17 to 1. Hence, even if all men did as you suggest, most would still not get meets, just because there are not enough women to meet them. " Of the 17 men have you considered how many are just here to look, how many send just hi/how are you/nice tits love, how many don’t read profiles, how many are disrespectful up front or on a polite rejection and finally how many are not swingers but just looking for any holes a goal? Then it comes down to attraction but I stand by my view that there’s not a ratio issue for the *right* men | |||
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"Hmm not sure about your OP. You talk of two reasons why guys aren’t meeting single women on here; 1. The ratio is against us. 2. Women won't alter X amount of years of evolution, just because someone has made a swingers website. It won't turn them into unpaid whores who will jump into bed with anyone. Sexual selection is always in play and on a website like this, any woman can be as picky as she likes. Yes there’s a ratio issue but the second point is solely about a woman’s response, no mention of the mans approach. I like single guys and don’t stereotype but of their messages 99% are utter bullshit - lazy, disrespectful, not reading profiles and treat a lady like said unpaid whore (to me anyway, other women’s experience may vary ).
Luckily there’s a small minority who differ and indeed these are mostly the more successful ones. So instead of focusing on the lady being picky and the ratio issue which neither you can control, maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? "I actually think the minority who differ are larger than you think. Looking at it from your own perspective (the messages you receive and the posts on forums being your main indicators) it would certainly seem that 99% of single guys are clueless, knuckle dragging lummoxes, lumbering down the street with food smeared all over their ill-fitting McKenzie T-shirt, dog shit from their own front path all over their NikeAirMax classics and drooling uncontrollably at EVERY SINGLE WOMAN that they pass... That's when they actually get out. However consider this, the chaps that ARE doing well on here; are they likely to write up a forum post saying "Three cheers for Fab! I'm having lots of sex and it's highly satisfying! Hurrah!" No, they're not, certainly not to the same degree of the average bellyacher pissing and moaning about not getting meets/women are up their own arses etc. Now consider your messages. The unsuitables are well-known to carpet bomb practically every woman on site's inbox within a certain radius with the same unsolicited shite. So every woman gets a message from these. Whereas the guys you want to meet don't do that. They will instead be selective about who they message, perhaps half a dozen ladies a week who fit their requirements out of thousands. Reasons being that they're more selective in who they can pleasure the most who appeals to them, the fact they take longer to put thought into messages and deliberate, and they're actually more in demand so a lot of their free-time is already taken up with planned meets. And of course most meets they have invariably want to meet them again and again unless their circumstances change, which cuts down on the freetime they have for meeting new women? Overall I wouldn't be surprised if you weekly received a message from only 3 or 4 of the really good potential meets that would make your toes curl and leave you smiling like the cat that got the cream...though there's probably a few dozen near you at least. These guys are in demnd so it's harder to get hold of them. I'd advise any lady wanting to have more of this kind of contact to actually turn huntress instead and message them first btw. You'll get the odd rejection and some will be just too damn busy already meeting other women when they're not working, but you'd have more contact with men who were excellent lovers. Then you've got what is actually the biggest demograph of men from a lady's perspective; the inbetweeners, who whilst ok with manners and a sense of fun won't be the best at getting their thoughts across. Though they aren't bad in the sack at all,they're not as adaptable so they'll appeal more to different ladies wanting different things. Whereas the tossers? You'd receive the same banal one line shit, sometimes accompanied by a pic of a floppy bell end hanging over a dirty lav from almost ALL of them... Making their number appear vastly larger than they really are. | |||
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" On the basis of a number of surveys I have done, men out number women about 17 to 1. Hence, even if all men did as you suggest, most would still not get meets, just because there are not enough women to meet them. Of the 17 men have you considered how many are just here to look, how many send just hi/how are you/nice tits love, how many don’t read profiles, how many are disrespectful up front or on a polite rejection and finally how many are not swingers but just looking for any holes a goal? Then it comes down to attraction but I stand by my view that there’s not a ratio issue for the *right* men "When I was a singleton, I never found it impossible to meet women. It took hard work and perseverance, yes, but it wasn’t impossible. I guess there are lots that just think it’s #instashag so they immediately are out of the running. The ratio argument doesn’t also take into account that some women have several lovers... | |||
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" On the basis of a number of surveys I have done, men out number women about 17 to 1. Hence, even if all men did as you suggest, most would still not get meets, just because there are not enough women to meet them. Of the 17 men have you considered how many are just here to look, how many send just hi/how are you/nice tits love, how many don’t read profiles, how many are disrespectful up front or on a polite rejection and finally how many are not swingers but just looking for any holes a goal? Then it comes down to attraction but I stand by my view that there’s not a ratio issue for the *right* men "Yes, all those things you mention may well be reasons men don't get meets now, but even if all men suddenly started behaving in the "right" way, most would still not get meets purely because of the numbers. The bottom line is that your advice works if only a few men take it. If most or all men take it, it doesn't. Hence the numbers is the fundamental issue. | |||
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" On the basis of a number of surveys I have done, men out number women about 17 to 1. Hence, even if all men did as you suggest, most would still not get meets, just because there are not enough women to meet them. Of the 17 men have you considered how many are just here to look, how many send just hi/how are you/nice tits love, how many don’t read profiles, how many are disrespectful up front or on a polite rejection and finally how many are not swingers but just looking for any holes a goal? Then it comes down to attraction but I stand by my view that there’s not a ratio issue for the *right* men
When I was a singleton, I never found it impossible to meet women. It took hard work and perseverance, yes, but it wasn’t impossible. I guess there are lots that just think it’s #instashag so they immediately are out of the running. The ratio argument doesn’t also take into account that some women have several lovers..."Even if every woman is willing to have eight men on the go, that still means the majority of men don't get a shag. | |||
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"What genuinely surprises me is that single guys feel this should be the place where they will meet single women easily. I don't think most single girls join this site looking to meet single guys. Being a swinger site, couples are usually looking for other couples or select singles. Single women, usually want to meet with couples or to try something they they haven't done sexually before, this means she is less likely to be looking to meet with an average guy wanting average sex. My bet is most guys use a scatter gun approach to try and pull, no pics, no effort either! No matter how the number ratio is, there is little chance of it working. If I were looking to hook up with single women, this is actually the last place I would look. " I think this post is pretty accurate. | |||
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"Haven't viewed the video but whilst it's true that the ratios of men to women is a factor there are numerous other ones that come into play that level the numbers game a little (i.e. if you take out all the single males with unrealistic expectations of the site and those that haven't or don't make an effort). The thing is there are plenty of single guys who ARE meeting single women and couples, who just get on with it without making a big deal of it either way, but you don't tend to hear about it (why would you?) so the thing that sticks in your mind and that gets mentioned on an almost hourly basis are the single guys that bemoan the lack of meets they've had and that alone gives a skewed vision of what actually happens here
However, the bottom line is that most single guys will get little or no action.
I agree that those who make an effort will get some action, that's because "making an effort" is a selection criteria for women.
If all men suddenly upped their game and started making an effort, that would not effect the supply and demand problem. Most would still not get meets. "You're using theory against practicality though - as I said if you discount those that don't and won't make an effort, those that do think this site means instant sex etc - the numbers game does go out the window. Yes IF all men made the effort etc then the balance would tip but then IF they did perhaps a few more women would join the site, or use it more, to redress that balance - but we all know the reality and the practicality that a large percentage of the single male profiles on here won't ever make that effort and therefore my argument still holds good
As someone else pointed out your argument also doesn't take into account the ladies that meet more than one guy - so once again the balance is more even than the "I can't get a meet" threads would have you believe | |||
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"Hmm not sure about your OP. You talk of two reasons why guys aren’t meeting single women on here; 1. The ratio is against us. 2. Women won't alter X amount of years of evolution, just because someone has made a swingers website. It won't turn them into unpaid whores who will jump into bed with anyone. Sexual selection is always in play and on a website like this, any woman can be as picky as she likes. Yes there’s a ratio issue but the second point is solely about a woman’s response, no mention of the mans approach. I like single guys and don’t stereotype but of their messages 99% are utter bullshit - lazy, disrespectful, not reading profiles and treat a lady like said unpaid whore (to me anyway, other women’s experience may vary ).
Luckily there’s a small minority who differ and indeed these are mostly the more successful ones. So instead of focusing on the lady being picky and the ratio issue which neither you can control, maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? "Just have to find them | |||
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" the second point is solely about a woman’s response, no mention of the mans approach. I like single guys and don’t stereotype but of their messages 99% are utter bullshit - lazy, disrespectful, not reading profiles and treat a lady like said unpaid whore (to me anyway, other women’s experience may vary ).
"Most of the time there is no response. Even on a website like this, ladies are after the chase from the man and if he doesn't float your boat, delete that message there's hundreds more to get through. I think most single men on here, are expecting women to behave and act like they would, if they were allowed. Ie jump into bed with as many women as possible. “We are low by nature and have to do it. We are men. All men do it. We have to do it. We are men. It is a man thing. Men must find and conquer as much pussy as they can get. Do not think for two seconds that you are the only one your man is fucking. He is a man and has to conquer women. I see a lot of you good women sitting out there going: "Not my man." Yes, your man too. Your man too. If he's not here with you tonight, he fucking somebody. Because he is a man. It has nothing to do with you. You can have the best pussy in the world. There can be a cape hanging out your pussy with a big S on it. Your man's still gonna go fuck somebody else, because he is a man. It is a dick thing. Do not try to understand it.” EddieMurphy Raw 1987 " maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? " They never tell us what they are picky about, on here at least. On vanilla sites you get the usual tall dark and handsome stuff on profiles. {I'm generalising} I'm trying to get the singles guys on here, as well as myself, to understand what is going on from an evolution/sexual section perspective. So they can have more of an idea about what is going in society as macrocosm, which is magnified on fab's microcosm. I'm using this to try and understand myself a bit better as well. Why relationship x,y,z didn't last, what have I done down the years, that I could have done different. etc. I'm 39, I've never been married and I've got no kids. | |||
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"Hmm not sure about your OP. You talk of two reasons why guys aren’t meeting single women on here; 1. The ratio is against us. 2. Women won't alter X amount of years of evolution, just because someone has made a swingers website. It won't turn them into unpaid whores who will jump into bed with anyone. Sexual selection is always in play and on a website like this, any woman can be as picky as she likes. Yes there’s a ratio issue but the second point is solely about a woman’s response, no mention of the mans approach. I like single guys and don’t stereotype but of their messages 99% are utter bullshit - lazy, disrespectful, not reading profiles and treat a lady like said unpaid whore (to me anyway, other women’s experience may vary ).
Luckily there’s a small minority who differ and indeed these are mostly the more successful ones. So instead of focusing on the lady being picky and the ratio issue which neither you can control, maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? "I think this is pretty bang on. I’ve been on and off this site a few times and had relative success. I haven’t used the forums to meet. I’ve had success with direct messages. Saying that I’ve had more than my far share of no replies etc. The key is reading a profile and sending an individual message showing you’ve read the profile and try and stand out from the 99 other unread messages sitting there. I think timing is also key. If I see a new profile that takes my fancy I won’t message for a week or two to see if A they are genuine and stick around B let everybody else bombard them first  | |||
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"It’s just supply and demand...once you understand that, then everything follows. Imagine if it were the other way around...can you imagine the replies that women would get from men? If the numbers were reversed. I don't think it would matter. Women, regardless of numbers, don't have to chase Men. If Women were in the majority, every bloke on here would have a little black book with all kinds of names and numbers in it. Even then, the sexual selection will always kick in. Really? So if an average single man received 10-50 messages a day, there wouldn’t be some that sent very rude messages back? That ignored messages? That deleted them without reading? I suspect the behaviour would be atrocious (from some men). " Sorry, I think I've just projected myself as some Jungian archetype of all men, there. How narcissistic of me was that. Yes, there would guys sending all kinds of filthy messages all over the place. The point is I don't think most women send messages to men on here, saying "fancy a fuck" Unless, the guy is some kind of God or she has met him before and they have some kind of FB thing going on. Yes, messages would be ignored and deleted. If men were in control of the numbers ratio on here or the sexual selection process. But that isn't the reality. | |||
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"Massive generalisation alert, but these are true on the whole I believe : Most men primarily want sex and will pretend they want a relationship in order to get sex. Most women primarily want a relationship and willing to pretend they want sex to get a relationship. " You haven’t met some of the women I’ve met  | |||
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"It’s just supply and demand...once you understand that, then everything follows. Imagine if it were the other way around...can you imagine the replies that women would get from men? If the numbers were reversed. I don't think it would matter. Women, regardless of numbers, don't have to chase Men. If Women were in the majority, every bloke on here would have a little black book with all kinds of names and numbers in it. Even then, the sexual selection will always kick in. Really? So if an average single man received 10-50 messages a day, there wouldn’t be some that sent very rude messages back? That ignored messages? That deleted them without reading? I suspect the behaviour would be atrocious (from some men). Sorry, I think I've just projected myself as some Jungian archetype of all men, there. How narcissistic of me was that. Yes, there would guys sending all kinds of filthy messages all over the place. The point is I don't think most women send messages to men on here, saying "fancy a fuck" Unless, the guy is some kind of God or she has met him before and they have some kind of FB thing going on. Yes, messages would be ignored and deleted. If men were in control of the numbers ratio on here or the sexual selection process. But that isn't the reality." Very true. ‘Twas ever thus though...  | |||
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"What genuinely surprises me is that single guys feel this should be the place where they will meet single women easily. I don't think most single girls join this site looking to meet single guys. Being a swinger site, couples are usually looking for other couples or select singles. Single women, usually want to meet with couples or to try something they they haven't done sexually before, this means she is less likely to be looking to meet with an average guy wanting average sex. My bet is most guys use a scatter gun approach to try and pull, no pics, no effort either! No matter how the number ratio is, there is little chance of it working. If I were looking to hook up with single women, this is actually the last place I would look. I think this post is pretty accurate. "I'll have to disagree with your wisdom on this one occasion I'm afraid Madam, though this situation will be mercifully rare!
This site is the very first place I'd look.
Granted I could get the equivalent of dozens of possible hits simply by walking into a city centre bar on a saturday night outside of January, but the likihood of a highly physically satisfying and mentally mindblowing encounter would be slim as a lot of the ladies I came across would be highly pissed up and I'd often have no guarantee beforehand of their intellect, sexual preferences or what individually truly made them squirm with complete and exquisite delirious pleasure which is what I want to do most when presented with an aroused woman that I find very attractive.
Whereas here if I want to indulge with a member of the fairer sex that is so wonderfully receptive I can ascertain all that easily without bassline pounding in the background, d*unks staggering about and both of us having to keep drifting off as we're neglecting our mates. I can meet with a lady I've already met with whereby I know how beautifully we can scratch each others sexual itches, or if none are available when I am I can instead meet a new lady with whom I judge the sex will be fulfilling for both of us.
So it's a straight choice of perhaps half a dozen encounters on the weekend that are less satisfying or a couple a week that are absolutely exilerating... No contest. | |||
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" maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? They never tell us what they are picky about, on here at least. On vanilla sites you get the usual tall dark and handsome stuff on profiles. {I'm generalising} I'm trying to get the singles guys on here, as well as myself, to understand what is going on from an evolution/sexual section perspective. So they can have more of an idea about what is going in society as macrocosm, which is magnified on fab's microcosm. I'm using this to try and understand myself a bit better as well. Why relationship x,y,z didn't last, what have I done down the years, that I could have done different. etc. I'm 39, I've never been married and I've got no kids." If it helps let me tell you what this one single Bi female is picky about (as a swinger and now ex swinger) 1. Smoker - it’s in my profile that I won’t meet them but get x number of messages from smokers every day. Unfortunately this isn’t a filter to block 2. Location - my location is on my profile and as I want a regular someone 50 miles away isn’t feasible 3. Boring approach - hi/how are you. Seriously I’m not going to reply to between 20 and 50 of these day in day out I have a life 4. Disrespectful - blocked 5. Instashag - delete 6. Not a swinger or interested in connection - delete 7. Just haven’t read the profile and not a match for any there reason not above So that’s 7 things before you get to the type of person I want to meet. Get me wrong on the first approach and my head turns off. That’s where it starts for me not in my pants. I don’t discriminate on much apart from twattishness so don’t list the whole tall dark and handsome stuff that some ladies do. For me it’s genuinely about the person and how I connect with them. And many men feel pushed out on age or body but I’ll have a nice 45-55 gentleman over a young hunk any day. 99% of messages to me are deleted. That’s not me being picky, that’s me stating my preferences in my profile and them being ignored or not read. | |||
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" maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? They never tell us what they are picky about, on here at least. On vanilla sites you get the usual tall dark and handsome stuff on profiles. {I'm generalising} I'm trying to get the singles guys on here, as well as myself, to understand what is going on from an evolution/sexual section perspective. So they can have more of an idea about what is going in society as macrocosm, which is magnified on fab's microcosm. I'm using this to try and understand myself a bit better as well. Why relationship x,y,z didn't last, what have I done down the years, that I could have done different. etc. I'm 39, I've never been married and I've got no kids. If it helps let me tell you what this one single Bi female is picky about (as a swinger and now ex swinger) 1. Smoker - it’s in my profile that I won’t meet them but get x number of messages from smokers every day. Unfortunately this isn’t a filter to block 2. Location - my location is on my profile and as I want a regular someone 50 miles away isn’t feasible 3. Boring approach - hi/how are you. Seriously I’m not going to reply to between 20 and 50 of these day in day out I have a life 4. Disrespectful - blocked 5. Instashag - delete 6. Not a swinger or interested in connection - delete 7. Just haven’t read the profile and not a match for any there reason not above So that’s 7 things before you get to the type of person I want to meet. Get me wrong on the first approach and my head turns off. That’s where it starts for me not in my pants. I don’t discriminate on much apart from twattishness so don’t list the whole tall dark and handsome stuff that some ladies do. For me it’s genuinely about the person and how I connect with them. And many men feel pushed out on age or body but I’ll have a nice 45-55 gentleman over a young hunk any day. 99% of messages to me are deleted. That’s not me being picky, that’s me stating my preferences in my profile and them being ignored or not read. " Twattishness? Humph! x Twat | |||
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" Twattishness? Humph! x Twat" Sorry is cuntishness any better? Let’s wait for cunt to come along and disageee  | |||
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" maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? They never tell us what they are picky about, on here at least. On vanilla sites you get the usual tall dark and handsome stuff on profiles. {I'm generalising} I'm trying to get the singles guys on here, as well as myself, to understand what is going on from an evolution/sexual section perspective. So they can have more of an idea about what is going in society as macrocosm, which is magnified on fab's microcosm. I'm using this to try and understand myself a bit better as well. Why relationship x,y,z didn't last, what have I done down the years, that I could have done different. etc. I'm 39, I've never been married and I've got no kids. If it helps let me tell you what this one single Bi female is picky about (as a swinger and now ex swinger) 1. Smoker - it’s in my profile that I won’t meet them but get x number of messages from smokers every day. Unfortunately this isn’t a filter to block 2. Location - my location is on my profile and as I want a regular someone 50 miles away isn’t feasible 3. Boring approach - hi/how are you. Seriously I’m not going to reply to between 20 and 50 of these day in day out I have a life 4. Disrespectful - blocked 5. Instashag - delete 6. Not a swinger or interested in connection - delete 7. Just haven’t read the profile and not a match for any there reason not above So that’s 7 things before you get to the type of person I want to meet. Get me wrong on the first approach and my head turns off. That’s where it starts for me not in my pants. I don’t discriminate on much apart from twattishness so don’t list the whole tall dark and handsome stuff that some ladies do. For me it’s genuinely about the person and how I connect with them. And many men feel pushed out on age or body but I’ll have a nice 45-55 gentleman over a young hunk any day. 99% of messages to me are deleted. That’s not me being picky, that’s me stating my preferences in my profile and them being ignored or not read. " But SAS that's all common sense!! Surely you're not saying.... ...oh wait this is Fab!! | |||
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"The lack of single women on here, resulting in some getting literally thousands of messages a day, seems to go to their heads. I'd say about 3% of the women on here are genuine head turners if you saw them in the real world. Yeh guys need to be respectful when messaging but the women need to have a sense of perspective as well. Just sayin " But the ratio and sexual selection means the dominance hierarchy, is so skewed out of the average guys' favour, that even if you are nice and are just trying to say hello. You've still got no hope. It's like the weather girls sung it's raining men specifically about fab. | |||
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" Twattishness? Humph! x Twat Sorry is cuntishness any better? Let’s wait for cunt to come along and disageee "Hahaha - that’s what Bitch calls me in private - we thought it was a bit much even for fab! | |||
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"The lack of single women on here, resulting in some getting literally thousands of messages a day, seems to go to their heads. I'd say about 3% of the women on here are genuine head turners if you saw them in the real world. Yeh guys need to be respectful when messaging but the women need to have a sense of perspective as well. Just sayin But the ratio and sexual selection means the dominance hierarchy, is so skewed out of the average guys' favour, that even if you are nice and are just trying to say hello. You've still got no hope. It's like the weather girls sung it's raining men specifically about fab." Say hello in an interesting way then? Something that is non-pushy, amusing, intriguing. Comment about their status or something in their profile that’s a bit unusual? | |||
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"The lack of single women on here, resulting in some getting literally thousands of messages a day, seems to go to their heads. I'd say about 3% of the women on here are genuine head turners if you saw them in the real world. Yeh guys need to be respectful when messaging but the women need to have a sense of perspective as well. Just sayin " I have to disagree and say that's a huge generalisation to make - of all the ladies I talk to on here I can hand on heart (and without so much as a glint of armour shining in the sun) say that not one of them falls into the "gone to their heads" or "lost perspective" categories you describe and as for the 3% figure beauty is subjective and what may turn one persons head may not turn another's so that is irrelevant also. Sure there are some here who probably do get an ego boost and enjoy playing men along but it's a very small minority. | |||
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" Say hello in an interesting way then? Something that is non-pushy, amusing, intriguing. Comment about their status or something in their profile that’s a bit unusual?" So no putting an axe through a door and shouting here's johnny like jack nicholson in the shining, then? | |||
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" Say hello in an interesting way then? Something that is non-pushy, amusing, intriguing. Comment about their status or something in their profile that’s a bit unusual? So no putting an axe through a door and shouting here's johnny like jack nicholson in the shining, then?" Hahaha - see, there you go, that would work! | |||
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" Hahaha - see, there you go, that would work!" So what's the metaphorical "here's Johnny" email? | |||
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" Hahaha - see, there you go, that would work! So what's the metaphorical "here's Johnny" email?" Worth a new thread surely? | |||
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"What genuinely surprises me is that single guys feel this should be the place where they will meet single women easily. I don't think most single girls join this site looking to meet single guys. Being a swinger site, couples are usually looking for other couples or select singles. Single women, usually want to meet with couples or to try something they they haven't done sexually before, this means she is less likely to be looking to meet with an average guy wanting average sex. My bet is most guys use a scatter gun approach to try and pull, no pics, no effort either! No matter how the number ratio is, there is little chance of it working. If I were looking to hook up with single women, this is actually the last place I would look. " I think most men are under the impression that 'swingers' will fuck anything and anyone. They think they are doing the swingers a favour by offering their cock to ease the poor swinger's sexual frustration. Their brain melts when someone turns down their kind offer of a fuck. | |||
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" I think most men are under the impression that 'swingers' will fuck anything and anyone. They think they are doing the swingers a favour by offering their cock to ease the poor swinger's sexual frustration. Their brain melts when someone turns down their kind offer of a fuck." I think the guys are confusing how they want to behave on here {ie be a total man whore, see Eddie Murphy quote.} with the way that the ladies will behave psychologically/societally, even if she is on a site like this. The sexual selection is always in play. Their brains melt because most of them don't realise how many single guys there are on here and how the odds are so stacked against us. | |||
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"Brainwave: I think single guys unconsciously at least, come to the realisation that on fab: 1. They have no power {even if they are paying for the site} 2. Control {because the single women and couples call the all the shots} 3. So they feel like they literally have no choice about what goes on fab and it triggers them like mad because, fab is nothing like the real world and the only thing they can do is delete their profiles? Think I'm roughly over the target, or not?" Some may feel that way, but I don’t. I guess that’s why a I’ve been here 8 years. | |||
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"Brainwave: I think single guys unconsciously at least, come to the realisation that on fab: 1. They have no power {even if they are paying for the site} 2. Control {because the single women and couples call the all the shots} 3. So they feel like they literally have no choice about what goes on fab and it triggers them like mad because, fab is nothing like the real world and the only thing they can do is delete their profiles? Think I'm roughly over the target, or not?" I think that's very much a generalisation and may well be the way some guys think - especially if they signed up believing they had the keys to the magic kingdom where they only had to click their fingers and a maiden would be along to pleasure them. To deal with each of your points in turn however: 1. They have no power {even if they are paying for the site} Not sure that paying for the site comes into it at all - but each and every user (regardless of gender/category) has it within their power to meet other people from the site - it's just whether they go about using it the right way and have their expectations seg realistically 2. Control {because the single women and couples call the all the shots} A common misconception. The fact women and couples are in the minority does give them a degree of control - but ultimately, the same as in my answer to 1 above, every user has it within their control to meet people or not. It's not about control either really - but all about realistic expectations, the right approach and a decent profile along with the ability to engage correctly. There are plenty of single guys on here who get as many, or as few, meets as they want and quietly go about their Fab business - the perception of it being hard for single guys is borne out of the myriad posts from single guys with incorrect expectations who bemoan their "luck" 3. So they feel like they literally have no choice about what goes on fab and it triggers them like mad because, fab is nothing like the real world and the only thing they can do is delete their profiles Again this ties in with my previous answers - if these users had realistic expectations, out the effort in to write a decent profile, attend clubs and socials, not post ghastly cock pics etc they'd have as much choice as the next person - likewise if they choose not to have any of the above they have effectively made a choice to shoot themselves in the foot | |||
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" maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? They never tell us what they are picky about, on here at least. On vanilla sites you get the usual tall dark and handsome stuff on profiles. {I'm generalising} I'm trying to get the singles guys on here, as well as myself, to understand what is going on from an evolution/sexual section perspective. So they can have more of an idea about what is going in society as macrocosm, which is magnified on fab's microcosm. I'm using this to try and understand myself a bit better as well. Why relationship x,y,z didn't last, what have I done down the years, that I could have done different. etc. I'm 39, I've never been married and I've got no kids. If it helps let me tell you what this one single Bi female is picky about (as a swinger and now ex swinger) 1. Smoker - it’s in my profile that I won’t meet them but get x number of messages from smokers every day. Unfortunately this isn’t a filter to block 2. Location - my location is on my profile and as I want a regular someone 50 miles away isn’t feasible 3. Boring approach - hi/how are you. Seriously I’m not going to reply to between 20 and 50 of these day in day out I have a life 4. Disrespectful - blocked 5. Instashag - delete 6. Not a swinger or interested in connection - delete 7. Just haven’t read the profile and not a match for any there reason not above So that’s 7 things before you get to the type of person I want to meet. Get me wrong on the first approach and my head turns off. That’s where it starts for me not in my pants. I don’t discriminate on much apart from twattishness so don’t list the whole tall dark and handsome stuff that some ladies do. For me it’s genuinely about the person and how I connect with them. And many men feel pushed out on age or body but I’ll have a nice 45-55 gentleman over a young hunk any day. 99% of messages to me are deleted. That’s not me being picky, that’s me stating my preferences in my profile and them being ignored or not read. " What upu have written there appeals to me on every level. I feel I would be a good fit for what you are looking for and vice versa. I would hope my profile expresses that. (Forget distance- it's just an example) Therefore I would approach you with a polite paragraph commenting on some items From Your similar profile and my hopes would be raised that you might see what I'm seeing and come back to me with a nice reply to.my efforts. Results, for me 29 times out of 30 - read and deleted. | |||
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"Brainwave: I think single guys unconsciously at least, come to the realisation that on fab: 1. They have no power {even if they are paying for the site} 2. Control {because the single women and couples call the all the shots} 3. So they feel like they literally have no choice about what goes on fab and it triggers them like mad because, fab is nothing like the real world and the only thing they can do is delete their profiles? Think I'm roughly over the target, or not?" Not at all I'm afraid mate (See also my previous post above) I actually have much more control over how fab works for me than a single lady as a dozen messages a day to arrange meets from is vastly preferable to 500 odd. If I was a single woman I'd feel swamped and the only way I could go about things would be to hide my profile or block all demographs and message those I found attractive instead. | |||
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" maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? They never tell us what they are picky about, on here at least. On vanilla sites you get the usual tall dark and handsome stuff on profiles. {I'm generalising} I'm trying to get the singles guys on here, as well as myself, to understand what is going on from an evolution/sexual section perspective. So they can have more of an idea about what is going in society as macrocosm, which is magnified on fab's microcosm. I'm using this to try and understand myself a bit better as well. Why relationship x,y,z didn't last, what have I done down the years, that I could have done different. etc. I'm 39, I've never been married and I've got no kids. If it helps let me tell you what this one single Bi female is picky about (as a swinger and now ex swinger) 1. Smoker - it’s in my profile that I won’t meet them but get x number of messages from smokers every day. Unfortunately this isn’t a filter to block 2. Location - my location is on my profile and as I want a regular someone 50 miles away isn’t feasible 3. Boring approach - hi/how are you. Seriously I’m not going to reply to between 20 and 50 of these day in day out I have a life 4. Disrespectful - blocked 5. Instashag - delete 6. Not a swinger or interested in connection - delete 7. Just haven’t read the profile and not a match for any there reason not above So that’s 7 things before you get to the type of person I want to meet. Get me wrong on the first approach and my head turns off. That’s where it starts for me not in my pants. I don’t discriminate on much apart from twattishness so don’t list the whole tall dark and handsome stuff that some ladies do. For me it’s genuinely about the person and how I connect with them. And many men feel pushed out on age or body but I’ll have a nice 45-55 gentleman over a young hunk any day. 99% of messages to me are deleted. That’s not me being picky, that’s me stating my preferences in my profile and them being ignored or not read. What upu have written there appeals to me on every level. I feel I would be a good fit for what you are looking for and vice versa. I would hope my profile expresses that. (Forget distance- it's just an example) Therefore I would approach you with a polite paragraph commenting on some items From Your similar profile and my hopes would be raised that you might see what I'm seeing and come back to me with a nice reply to.my efforts. Results, for me 29 times out of 30 - read and deleted." I may be the exception to the rule then. If a man has read my profile, matches what I’m looking for on the whole and made an effort with his message he’d get a reply. If someone’s done that reading and deleting is rude to me. My filters are high so I tend not to get an overwhelming amount anymore so I can. So women have no or inappropriate filters making it worse for themselves. They may feel good getting so many messages but personally I’d rather not waste the time if someone doesn’t match the criteria that I can and do filter out | |||
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" maybe consider what she’s being picky about and what the guys can do different and to be different and therefore hopefully more successful? They never tell us what they are picky about, on here at least. On vanilla sites you get the usual tall dark and handsome stuff on profiles. {I'm generalising} I'm trying to get the singles guys on here, as well as myself, to understand what is going on from an evolution/sexual section perspective. So they can have more of an idea about what is going in society as macrocosm, which is magnified on fab's microcosm. I'm using this to try and understand myself a bit better as well. Why relationship x,y,z didn't last, what have I done down the years, that I could have done different. etc. I'm 39, I've never been married and I've got no kids. If it helps let me tell you what this one single Bi female is picky about (as a swinger and now ex swinger) 1. Smoker - it’s in my profile that I won’t meet them but get x number of messages from smokers every day. Unfortunately this isn’t a filter to block 2. Location - my location is on my profile and as I want a regular someone 50 miles away isn’t feasible 3. Boring approach - hi/how are you. Seriously I’m not going to reply to between 20 and 50 of these day in day out I have a life 4. Disrespectful - blocked 5. Instashag - delete 6. Not a swinger or interested in connection - delete 7. Just haven’t read the profile and not a match for any there reason not above So that’s 7 things before you get to the type of person I want to meet. Get me wrong on the first approach and my head turns off. That’s where it starts for me not in my pants. I don’t discriminate on much apart from twattishness so don’t list the whole tall dark and handsome stuff that some ladies do. For me it’s genuinely about the person and how I connect with them. And many men feel pushed out on age or body but I’ll have a nice 45-55 gentleman over a young hunk any day. 99% of messages to me are deleted. That’s not me being picky, that’s me stating my preferences in my profile and them being ignored or not read. What upu have written there appeals to me on every level. I feel I would be a good fit for what you are looking for and vice versa. I would hope my profile expresses that. (Forget distance- it's just an example) Therefore I would approach you with a polite paragraph commenting on some items From Your similar profile and my hopes would be raised that you might see what I'm seeing and come back to me with a nice reply to.my efforts. Results, for me 29 times out of 30 - read and deleted. I may be the exception to the rule then. If a man has read my profile, matches what I’m looking for on the whole and made an effort with his message he’d get a reply. If someone’s done that reading and deleting is rude to me. My filters are high so I tend not to get an overwhelming amount anymore so I can. So women have no or inappropriate filters making it worse for themselves. They may feel good getting so many messages but personally I’d rather not waste the time if someone doesn’t match the criteria that I can and do filter out "So many words  I love a woman with lots of intelligent chat, but seemingly so hard to find. Give me words over curves any day | |||
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"Brainwave: I think single guys unconsciously at least, come to the realisation that on fab: 1. They have no power {even if they are paying for the site} 2. Control {because the single women and couples call the all the shots} 3. So they feel like they literally have no choice about what goes on fab and it triggers them like mad because, fab is nothing like the real world and the only thing they can do is delete their profiles? Think I'm roughly over the target, or not? I think that's very much a generalisation and may well be the way some guys think - especially if they signed up believing they had the keys to the magic kingdom where they only had to click their fingers and a maiden would be along to pleasure them. To deal with each of your points in turn however: 1. They have no power {even if they are paying for the site} Not sure that paying for the site comes into it at all - but each and every user (regardless of gender/category) has it within their power to meet other people from the site - it's just whether they go about using it the right way and have their expectations seg realistically 2. Control {because the single women and couples call the all the shots} A common misconception. The fact women and couples are in the minority does give them a degree of control - but ultimately, the same as in my answer to 1 above, every user has it within their control to meet people or not. It's not about control either really - but all about realistic expectations, the right approach and a decent profile along with the ability to engage correctly. There are plenty of single guys on here who get as many, or as few, meets as they want and quietly go about their Fab business - the perception of it being hard for single guys is borne out of the myriad posts from single guys with incorrect expectations who bemoan their "luck" 3. So they feel like they literally have no choice about what goes on fab and it triggers them like mad because, fab is nothing like the real world and the only thing they can do is delete their profiles Again this ties in with my previous answers - if these users had realistic expectations, out the effort in to write a decent profile, attend clubs and socials, not post ghastly cock pics etc they'd have as much choice as the next person - likewise if they choose not to have any of the above they have effectively made a choice to shoot themselves in the foot " | |||
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"okay... time for me to be controversial... I don't think there is a single guy ratio issue..... I DO think there are a lot of guys who basically put in minimal effort and think they will get maximum results from it! I DO think there are people who think they are owed for just being here.... I DO think there are people who just frankly don't sell themselves.... none of that is the fault of the site..... none of that is the fault of anyone else than the person staring at them in the mirror!!! easy to blame everyone and everything... not so easy to be introspective and ask "what can i do to make myself better?" there are loads of different avenues that people can go down, and people are very very quick to poo poo them! again thats not the fault of the site...... i am a firm believer in that you get out what you put in... effort, putting yourself out of your comfort zone at times, you can show that you are different!!!" | |||
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"okay... time for me to be controversial... I don't think there is a single guy ratio issue..... I DO think there are a lot of guys who basically put in minimal effort and think they will get maximum results from it! I DO think there are people who think they are owed for just being here.... I DO think there are people who just frankly don't sell themselves.... none of that is the fault of the site..... none of that is the fault of anyone else than the person staring at them in the mirror!!! easy to blame everyone and everything... not so easy to be introspective and ask "what can i do to make myself better?" there are loads of different avenues that people can go down, and people are very very quick to poo poo them! again thats not the fault of the site...... i am a firm believer in that you get out what you put in... effort, putting yourself out of your comfort zone at times, you can show that you are different!!!" As ever Fabio - wise words and ones that sum up all the answers to anyone doubting the site completely | |||
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" i am a firm believer in that you get out what you put in... effort, putting yourself out of your comfort zone at times, you can show that you are different!!! "Thanks for the reply. Comfort zone has been smashed out the park already, mate. I went to my first club on the 18th of Jan and am booked to got to another one at the start of Feb. | |||
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