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So angry!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

My brothers got terminal cancer and currently in hospital, he can’t go back home as his landlord who agree to all the changes of widening doors etc etc

He can’t go into accommodation like sheltered because he’s only 45 and they only cater for the over 55s. He doesn’t want to go into a hospice yet because he’s still living his life.

You’d think they’d have accommodation for people with terminal illness who don’t want to go into hospices but can’t go home because their house isn’t adapted.

Anyone else been through this??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know if this will help but have you spoken to McMillan.

They are able to provide a lot more help and support to families as well as those who are ill.

They may be anow to suggest a way forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly I've been through it far to many times with friends and family.

McMillan are a wonderful organisation worth contacting but accommodation and beds for the "whole process" is woeful .

Best wishes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know if this will help but have you spoken to McMillan.

They are able to provide a lot more help and support to families as well as those who are ill.

They may be anow to suggest a way forward."

Just lost my mum Macmillan were brilliant but cancer research off the same too I found out good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has he spoken to his local authority Housing Advice Team to get their advice? Does he have a Hospital Social Worker who will advocate on his behalf? Newer builds have wider doorways.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Does he live alone Kitty ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So.sorry to hear of your situation.

My Brother had terminal Liver Cancer and he was able to get a sheltered housing flat!! Not trying to get you suck ehhs or anything but have you contacted the council!?? Failing that try the CAB, there will be something that can be done.

Don't discount the Hospice either, from our experience they are simpley amazing amd can also be a source of help in such matters too!!!

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

I had same problem with my neighbour. Was taken into hospital with leukaemia and was in for 12 weeks. They wouldn’t let him out until his house had been adapted. As he had no family I stepped in to try and help and spoke with Mac milliam who were very instrumental in getting the ball rolling. Within 2 weeks the adaptions has been made to the house. They gave him a cheque of £500 to help with any services he needed. Helped him fill out the multitude of forms required and organised home care. He’s quiet an elderly gentleman. But I couldn’t recommend mac Milan more than enough. Hope you get things sorted kitty xx

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold


"I don't know if this will help but have you spoken to McMillan.

They are able to provide a lot more help and support to families as well as those who are ill.

They may be anow to suggest a way forward."

I'm sorry, but McMillan are the biggest bunch of shite when my father in law had a brain tumor.

They didn't want to know because he had family and friends within 15 miles of him.

He was 79, and wife of 81, and we had no support from anyone, on the terms of support or assistance.

and that includes the NHS and local authorities.

We had to provide all the alterations and adaptations ourselves, and even buy his own wheelchair.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

He lives alone and wants to continue living alone. He will be wheelchair bound now as it’s spread to his legs sadly. Macmillan have been great getting him extra benefits but finding him somewhere to live now is a problem. Social worker coming today with the respite team. He knows he’s only got a few months left but he doesn’t want to be in a hospice. All yesterday I was phoning Birmingham council and sheltered accommodation. What a load of crap they were! They cater for the elderly but not a young man in his 40s. Will battle on today and see how far I get.

I offered to look after him here in Devon but he doesn’t want to be away from Birmingham. My sister got a house but bathroom upstairs and again it’s rented so can’t have adjustments made.

People don’t want to die in hospices and it needs to change for those with independence.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't know if this will help but have you spoken to McMillan.

They are able to provide a lot more help and support to families as well as those who are ill.

They may be anow to suggest a way forward.

Just lost my mum Macmillan were brilliant but cancer research off the same too I found out good luck"

So sorry xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So.sorry to hear of your situation.

My Brother had terminal Liver Cancer and he was able to get a sheltered housing flat!! Not trying to get you suck ehhs or anything but have you contacted the council!?? Failing that try the CAB, there will be something that can be done.

Don't discount the Hospice either, from our experience they are simpley amazing amd can also be a source of help in such matters too!!! "

Keep saying about the hospice to him lastnight but he got upset because he knows if he goes in he won’t come out. He’s been in and out of hospital since August.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

My heart goes out to you and yours kitty. Hopefully with social workers coming today then should be able to accommodate him some how. This is what really pisses me off about this country. If your a raging alcoholic that has no self respect for yourself or anything then you can get a house disability money to buy as much alcohol as possible and those that require urgent compassionate care have to fight just to get a bloody hand rail. The system needs to change. And now.

Have you tried contacting his local MP. I know it’s not the best solution. But it might help push things along. Xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kitty, i don't have any advice at all. I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you, your brother and your family..and everyone else who is going through something similar. Take care Kitty, i hope everything works out best that it can. X

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By *rank n BettyCouple
over a year ago

Not meeting

Is he being treated at QE? Frank had his treatment there last year & it’s a great hospital - I can see why he wouldn't want to move away (even though I love Devon!!)

If he’s privately renting I don’t think his landlord has to agree to any alterations to his property.

In Social housing future tenants can benefit from the adaptions so more often & easily done.

Keep on at Social Services & housing - they are the only ones who can really help you. I’m not sure if he’d be eligible for reablement which is 6 weeks free residential to help him get back to some kind of independence - includes Physio, finding different ways to do things now in a wheelchair etc...

He should also be eligible for Continuing Health Care full or partial funding to cover any carers he may need to assist him.

Keep Macmillan in the loop too - they will fight his corner & possibly provide a grant towards equipment your brother may need xx

Best of luck to you both xx

B x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive been through terminal cancer with a past partner and found mc millan to be the greatest support ever - just s thought - look at rented properties the newer properties - vis local estate agents and rightmove online - say whats its for - my house is a reasonably new build and a certain percentage of the houses on the estate had to be wheelchair friendly - so wider doors etc - maybe look at renting one of those on a 6 month deal and then as his ilness progresses he may consider the hospice by that time xxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't unfortunately offer any advice further to whats been given.

My mum had cancer of the bowel and stomach, she went in hospital in june unaware, and aside from a very brief weekend at home in July she was in hospital and then a hospice until her death in Sept. They couldn't control her pain. Accomodation wasn't a problem her house was owned and her partner, my husband and brother all builders so any adaptations would have been a non issue.

The only other thing I would recommend is at our local hospital there was a cancer charity the big c, I am not sure if it is local or nationwide but they were on the hospital site and did go to besides - they were instrumental in sorting my mum out with any practical help she needed - benefits/ occupational therapist visiting (they had hoped to release her after an operation but it wasn't to be). As I say not sure if it is something you have available but if it is they may be worth talking too.

Wishing you lots of luck, I hope your brother gets somewhere and can enjoy home comforts once more x

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Not cancer, but one of my sons had a stroke aged 4 left him with brain damage & physical disabilities.

We were in rented accommodation & trying to find something suitable meant we moved 7 times in 11yrs.

Eventually social services pressured the council into housing us, and we're now having the necessary adaptions made for him.

You could try contacting your local SS they should have a 'disability team' that can help with your situation x

Good luck OP & hugs to you all xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Dad was adamant that he wouldn't go into a hospice but the local one provided outreach care and assistance.

You said he is Birmingham area so I don't know if St Giles Hospice might be in his area. Might be worth investigating x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know if this will help but have you spoken to McMillan.

They are able to provide a lot more help and support to families as well as those who are ill.

They may be anow to suggest a way forward.

I'm sorry, but McMillan are the biggest bunch of shite when my father in law had a brain tumor.

They didn't want to know because he had family and friends within 15 miles of him.

He was 79, and wife of 81, and we had no support from anyone, on the terms of support or assistance.

and that includes the NHS and local authorities.

We had to provide all the alterations and adaptations ourselves, and even buy his own wheelchair.

"

Sorry but I do not agree with your views on McMillan. My son has had testicular cancer and McMillan were very helpful to him. To call them Shite is very wrong, they help a lot of people.

I am saddened by your brother's plight OP, and I hope something is sorted for him very fast. XXX

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother Kitty and he shouldn't have to be going through this with his living accommodation. When my mum became ill, we called in the occupational health team from social services and they promptly made any alterations and supplied other aids for her. Hope he gets shorted

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"I'm so sorry to hear about your brother Kitty and he shouldn't have to be going through this with his living accommodation. When my mum became ill, we called in the occupational health team from social services and they promptly made any alterations and supplied other aids for her. Hope he gets shorted"

Oops, that should read sorted

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold


"I don't know if this will help but have you spoken to McMillan.

They are able to provide a lot more help and support to families as well as those who are ill.

They may be anow to suggest a way forward.

I'm sorry, but McMillan are the biggest bunch of shite when my father in law had a brain tumor.

They didn't want to know because he had family and friends within 15 miles of him.

He was 79, and wife of 81, and we had no support from anyone, on the terms of support or assistance.

and that includes the NHS and local authorities.

We had to provide all the alterations and adaptations ourselves, and even buy his own wheelchair.

Sorry but I do not agree with your views on McMillan. My son has had testicular cancer and McMillan were very helpful to him. To call them Shite is very wrong, they help a lot of people.

I am saddened by your brother's plight OP, and I hope something is sorted for him very fast. XXX"

You may have differing opinions on McMillan, and I'll have mine and stand by my statements.

They have a very poor reputation around here

We were basically ignored by them, and their attitude was that they couldn't care less, because we had family in the area (just my wife and myself).

We had no respite, palliative care or option of a hospice being offered.

There may be good news stories, but there are equally poor ones

I have total sympathy for the op and their situation, but I would recommend they go to local charities for support rather than national ones as they're much more likely to receive help

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"I don't know if this will help but have you spoken to McMillan.

They are able to provide a lot more help and support to families as well as those who are ill.

They may be anow to suggest a way forward.

I'm sorry, but McMillan are the biggest bunch of shite when my father in law had a brain tumor.

They didn't want to know because he had family and friends within 15 miles of him.

He was 79, and wife of 81, and we had no support from anyone, on the terms of support or assistance.

and that includes the NHS and local authorities.

We had to provide all the alterations and adaptations ourselves, and even buy his own wheelchair.

Sorry but I do not agree with your views on McMillan. My son has had testicular cancer and McMillan were very helpful to him. To call them Shite is very wrong, they help a lot of people.

I am saddened by your brother's plight OP, and I hope something is sorted for him very fast. XXX

You may have differing opinions on McMillan, and I'll have mine and stand by my statements.

They have a very poor reputation around here

We were basically ignored by them, and their attitude was that they couldn't care less, because we had family in the area (just my wife and myself).

We had no respite, palliative care or option of a hospice being offered.

There may be good news stories, but there are equally poor ones

I have total sympathy for the op and their situation, but I would recommend they go to local charities for support rather than national ones as they're much more likely to receive help "

Sorry to hear of your bad experience. I think we have all had different experiences, good and bad, with different organisations. We have too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Macmillan have been amazing for my brother. When he was back home they arranged 2 nurses to go in every day! They are angels!

Remember they are not government funded so rely on donations only. I can’t speak more highly for them or the palliative care team.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My heart goes out to you and yours kitty. Hopefully with social workers coming today then should be able to accommodate him some how. This is what really pisses me off about this country. If your a raging alcoholic that has no self respect for yourself or anything then you can get a house disability money to buy as much alcohol as possible and those that require urgent compassionate care have to fight just to get a bloody hand rail. The system needs to change. And now.

Have you tried contacting his local MP. I know it’s not the best solution. But it might help push things along. Xxxx"

This

There is housing for everyone but cancer patients. Think I might try MP or the Birmingham Mail. Everyone should have a right to housing and he most certainly does. Paid tax since he left school at 18 and worked all his life.

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"My heart goes out to you and yours kitty. Hopefully with social workers coming today then should be able to accommodate him some how. This is what really pisses me off about this country. If your a raging alcoholic that has no self respect for yourself or anything then you can get a house disability money to buy as much alcohol as possible and those that require urgent compassionate care have to fight just to get a bloody hand rail. The system needs to change. And now.

Have you tried contacting his local MP. I know it’s not the best solution. But it might help push things along. Xxxx

This

There is housing for everyone but cancer patients. Think I might try MP or the Birmingham Mail. Everyone should have a right to housing and he most certainly does. Paid tax since he left school at 18 and worked all his life. "

This is disgusting and really feel for you all. Yes try your local MP.

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

So moving to hear this kitty..I have no solutions but I hope you feel supported by the advice and comments on here..

T

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Want to thank you all for your advise and messsges.

Some lovely peeps on fab!

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"Want to thank you all for your advise and messsges.

Some lovely peeps on fab! "

{{Hugs}}

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