FabSwingers.com forum: Is it all a competition?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We see it all over the forums. People posting their preferences body wise, flirting and lamp post pissing.

We all say we don't care, we're here for our own enjoyment and what others do is irrelevant but is it true?

Is it possible not to compare yourself to others? Can you truely say you've never been jealous on fab?

Someone you like met someone else? The person you think has a better body posts yet another hot pic?

Is swinging emotionally draining at times? Does it take a conscious effort to remind yourself to seperate your feelings from your swinging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's definitely a competition with some. Actually, surprisingly, a lot of the women are very competitive on here. Always see the same ones on hot pics begging to be fabbed etc.

For me, I know there's far hotter guys on here than me, doesn't phase me. I think people match up with people for many reasons. No use worrying about what others think or do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is what it is. Attraction is relative.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I switch off from the competition, LPP, and white knighting. I embrace who and what I am with open arms, and no worries about others opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, I definitely compare myself, I'm always jealous of a nice pair of boobers but aside from that, I'm not really bothered what others are up to, no competition for me and as soon as anything turns into one, I'm off!

You can clearly see some women, and men pissing up lamp posts and getting butt hurt when someone flirts with someone they like/want, I just find it amusing myself.

If you get jealous, I don't think swinging is for you.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It honestly never crosses my mind to be jealous or concerned about other people's experiences of Fab whether that be other single guys who may, on the face of it, have a better body than me or be perceived to be more popular, or women who'd not meet me anyway.

I prefer to focus on my own experience of the site, which for the most part is good and so long as the actions of others don't have a direct impact on me in any way, then all will remain to be good.

What people I meet are doing when they're not meeting me, is frankly, none of my business and therefore not something for me to get upset about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose if you choose to join in, then it is a competition, and probably not a good place to be if you're feeling down or insecure

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By *relanddirectMan
over a year ago

cheshire

I would suggest that if you are prone to comparing yourself to others or if you get jealous about the activities of others this is without doubt the last site you should be on. ultimately if you have any issues with esteem or confidence this is not the place for you

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

We don’t do anything, whether it’s swinging or anything in our real lives, that causes any kind of negativite feelings... life is far too short. Swinging is something to add to our lives, not to take something away.

Flik

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do look at some chaps and think I'd like their physiques and big willys.

But I'm happy with who I am and my popularity or lack of it.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I don’t know if it’s a competition for me as such. But I am left at times drooling over some profiles I see and meet. I’ve met some really fantastic people and had a great time. I’ve left these people wanting more and sometimes wishing I was endowed as much as some of them. I can’t do anything about that but I can try and look my best for any potential meets

If thier is any competition in my eyes it’s here in forums. See who has most popular thread I do find myself at times think of what wouldn make a good responsive thread but I’ve given up and leave it to the professionals. Mr’s gives wood for example is brilliant and I love her threads.

Life is how we take it. If its a competition then your not happy really. Are you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh I should point out this isn't an expression of how I feel. Just an observation of the behaviour of others.

I'm happy with myself and my swinging journey.

I like people and I like the differences between us all. I like seeing other people enjoy themselves.

I guess there are times when I'm not so active and I see others flirting and I get a tiny bit jealous but that's of their situation not the people. I like to have a flirt too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had my moments but over the years I’ve learned to let go of those kind of feelings. I just enjoy the spectacle and do my own thing. I. I might eventually get round to meeting someone again on day

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By *eardedProctologistMan
over a year ago

Here and there but more here than there

Our feeling of inadequacy definitely stems from this sempiternal need to compare ourselve with other.

It can be difficult to not compare yourself to others, especially on here, but not ultimately impossible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh I should point out this isn't an expression of how I feel. Just an observation of the behaviour of others.

I'm happy with myself and my swinging journey.

I like people and I like the differences between us all. I like seeing other people enjoy themselves.

I guess there are times when I'm not so active and I see others flirting and I get a tiny bit jealous but that's of their situation not the people. I like to have a flirt too

You use words so much more efficiently than I do

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If it is a competition it's one we choose not to enter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just like meeting people in clubs and having sex with them.

That’s all it is for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've reached an age where I've accepted my body and face for what it is. There's always someone fitter, prettier, bigger boobs (sob) etc but that's just life.

Sort of wrenched a bit when I first joined watching all the flirting with people I also liked, but it's part of what it's all about, just a bit of fun, and I join along with it all now, sometimes rather enthusiastically

Interesting to watch all the lpp, and there are a few here I'd like to keep in my cellar just for myself, but I do try not to cock my leg . The NSA aspect of it all is very liberating once your used to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a lot easier to carve your own unique niche than to go head to head with the masses. I suppose we are all in competition vying for attention in some way, but deep down we are only competing against ourselves.

I am flattered by the wonderful women on my friends list and those I do communicate with across the site.

It is easy to be self critical and wonder why they speak to me when there are prettier, wittier, buffer, tougher, younger and hunger men out there. But if I thought like that all the time, I may as well close my profile.

I know some people block me because they think I'm an arse. I give them no regard and wish them well.

Ultimately you don't see Mo Farah and Usain Bolt in the same race....

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"We see it all over the forums. People posting their preferences body wise, flirting and lamp post pissing.

We all say we don't care, we're here for our own enjoyment and what others do is irrelevant but is it true?

Is it possible not to compare yourself to others? Can you truely say you've never been jealous on fab?

Someone you like met someone else? The person you think has a better body posts yet another hot pic?

Is swinging emotionally draining at times? Does it take a conscious effort to remind yourself to seperate your feelings from your swinging? "

Yes I can say I've never been jealous about anyone on Fab as this to me is less importance than my other hobby knitting. In fact I'm jealous of friends who can maintain the tension of their knitted garments not the pert breast and lithe limbs of some of my contemporaries on here.

My other half looks like a cross between Bruce Willis and Jason Statham and loves me.

This is recreational sex with strangers who have their own fantasy woman. I know I will not appeal to all so waste not a nanosecond thinking about it.

That said, there is one thing some have I do covet: luscious locks. I'm slowly losing mine. There are gorgeous wigs around and I can afford real hair ones, but I do look longingly, especially at men with lovely hair and sigh wistfully.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"It honestly never crosses my mind to be jealous or concerned about other people's experiences of Fab whether that be other single guys who may, on the face of it, have a better body than me or be perceived to be more popular, or women who'd not meet me anyway.

I prefer to focus on my own experience of the site, which for the most part is good and so long as the actions of others don't have a direct impact on me in any way, then all will remain to be good.

What people I meet are doing when they're not meeting me, is frankly, none of my business and therefore not something for me to get upset about."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It dont bother me to be honest. Im flattered when a women takes intrest in me knowing how many guys there are on here. I am what I am, you either like me or you dont really. Just try to enjoy it.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I'm not a jealous person, never have been and hope I never will be.

So, no. I'm not bothered by what others do on here, the flirting, banter, the pics they post.

I'm happy with how I look, having lost a lot of weight, I know I still have things to work on.. My only competition is me v me, and making the best version of myself I can.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"We see it all over the forums. People posting their preferences body wise, flirting and lamp post pissing.

We all say we don't care, we're here for our own enjoyment and what others do is irrelevant but is it true?

Is it possible not to compare yourself to others? Can you truely say you've never been jealous on fab?

Someone you like met someone else? The person you think has a better body posts yet another hot pic?

Is swinging emotionally draining at times? Does it take a conscious effort to remind yourself to seperate your feelings from your swinging? "

When we first started swinging over six years ago I think we felt most of the points you’ve raised . Our feelings were at times a bit mixed up , but it didn’t take us long to realise that swinging was something we both enjoyed , and a very fulfilling lifestyle choice for us .

Fast forward to now , and I can honestly say we have gone way past caring about anyone else’s looks , meets , or preferences . We do what we do because it’s what we enjoy . What others do is their choice and good luck to them .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We see it all over the forums. People posting their preferences body wise, flirting and lamp post pissing.

We all say we don't care, we're here for our own enjoyment and what others do is irrelevant but is it true?

Is it possible not to compare yourself to others? Can you truely say you've never been jealous on fab?

Someone you like met someone else? The person you think has a better body posts yet another hot pic?

Is swinging emotionally draining at times? Does it take a conscious effort to remind yourself to seperate your feelings from your swinging? "

I think the forums have very little to do with actual swinging and it's a small cross section of the site in general and an even smaller example of the scene.

It is possible not to compare yourself to others, but it takes conscious effort. I try and remember that there is no better and worse, as such, just different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not a jealous person, never have been and hope I never will be.

So, no. I'm not bothered by what others do on here, the flirting, banter, the pics they post.

I'm happy with how I look, having lost a lot of weight, I know I still have things to work on.. My only competition is me v me, and making the best version of myself I can.

A very healthy attitude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy in the skin I am in . I know my age and honesty on my profile means I miss out on so many opportunities.

I don't compare myself to others as I said my age is against me. I just enjoy the pleasent friends I have made and the occasional social and yes some.times more

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

As a Fab noob this is something im adjusting to. I think jealousy and competitiveness is part of human nature. The trick is not to let it become overwhelming. If I meet with someone and make a real connection with them part of me doesn't want them to slip away but a stronger part wants them to go ahead and get some happy. Hopefully the two can co-exist happily. Honesty, communication and respect goes a long way to making everybody happy.

As George said:

"All we have to see

Is I don't belong to you

And you don't belong to me"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I'm noticed sometimes I'm not...its just like real life.

Some connect some don't some are popular some are not some piss on lampposts... I tend to walk into them and fall over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We don’t do anything, whether it’s swinging or anything in our real lives, that causes any kind of negativite feelings... life is far too short. Swinging is something to add to our lives, not to take something away.

Flik

Love this attitude and having met you both socially I can honestly say you embody it too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We see it all over the forums. People posting their preferences body wise, flirting and lamp post pissing.

We all say we don't care, we're here for our own enjoyment and what others do is irrelevant but is it true?

Is it possible not to compare yourself to others? Can you truely say you've never been jealous on fab?

Someone you like met someone else? The person you think has a better body posts yet another hot pic?

Is swinging emotionally draining at times? Does it take a conscious effort to remind yourself to seperate your feelings from your swinging? "

Its true for me...

As long as its not one of the out and out no no's I have no concerns over what others do. It's their business not mine.

As for comparisons I dont do that either.

Everyone is unique, comparing people to one another is like comparing coal and diamonds, essentially they are the same thing but also totally different so its a pointless excercise.

I wouldnt say swinging is emotionally draining but it can endenger feelings such as lust, likes and dislikes so it can certainly raise emotions of a sort. But, as with everything else in life everyone reacts differently to emotion. Its always how you react to something rather than what you are reacting to that matters.

As for separating my feelings from it I never try to separate my thoughts or emotions from anything I do as these things control my conscience and ensure I always try to do what I feel is right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The key to happiness is internal. If you've got that sorted it's a lot easier to deal with any external negativity and, if you're happy and comfortable in yourself, what is there to be jealous of? It all depends on what's important to you personally.

The forums are just banter. They can be interesting, entertaining, thought provoking or just plain frustrating at times. There are some very clever people and some very stupid people and some very funny people and some people that manage to be all three at the same time.

The whole idea of fab is to socialise and meet people for sex. If it's a competition...the ladies and couples are winning a few single men are making it as runners up and there are a lot of losers. But I'm not that competitive and am not a jealous person. It's an interesting ride and I'm happy for the people that it's working for.

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By *agermeisterMan
over a year ago

Leeds

As a Fab noob this is something Im adjusting to. I think jealousy and competitiveness is part of human nature. The trick is not to let it become overwhelming. If I meet with someone and make a real connection with them, part of me doesn't want them to slip away, but a stronger part wants them to go ahead and get some happy. Its particularly difficult if they can pick and choose who they see whilst you get few invitations.

I find honesty, communication and respect goes a long way to making everybody happy.

As George said:

"All we have to see

Is I don't belong to you

And you don't belong to me"

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

"We see it all over the forums. People posting their preferences body wise, flirting and lamp post pissing.

We all say we don't care, we're here for our own enjoyment and what others do is irrelevant but is it true?

Is it possible not to compare yourself to others? Can you truely say you've never been jealous on fab?

Someone you like met someone else? The person you think has a better body posts yet another hot pic?

Is swinging emotionally draining at times? Does it take a conscious effort to remind yourself to seperate your feelings from your swinging? "

Can be irritating at times seeing someone uploading pics every day, I want to see other people's pictures. I think to myself at times are you shagging or just taking pics, surely if you are getting intimate pics should be the last thing on your mind.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

I find it hard to believe that the people replying here have never once had a moment of jealousy no matter how mild. That would go against human nature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it hard to believe that the people replying here have never once had a moment of jealousy no matter how mild. That would go against human nature."

All our dart boards are filled with many many holes ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find it hard to believe that the people replying here have never once had a moment of jealousy no matter how mild. That would go against human nature."

Depends on the nature of the human

I havent been jealous since I was a child. Always considered it a useless emotion...it just makes you feel bad...it doesnt achieve or change anything its a useless negative feeling.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I find it hard to believe that the people replying here have never once had a moment of jealousy no matter how mild. That would go against human nature."

I've always been a rebel & fought convention!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think jealousy is quite closely connected with self esteem. If you're happy with yourself you're probably not going to be jealous of anyone else.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I'm having a little break at work. So I've turned off the site images.

And I tell you, it's the best thing ever on this forum. I'm not distracted by boobs, read replies without preconceived ideas, it's liberating

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Okay, I'll hold my hand up and admit to sometimes feeling jealousy on here. Well, maybe not jealousy as such but more envy and perhaps not in the way you might imagine ...

... I tend to feel envious of other women's self and sexual confidence, and their ability to cleverly flirt without fear of looking 'stupid' (like I do). In a similar vein, I feel in awe of any club attendees who can smile beautifully and alluringly at strangers without looking like a demented gargoyle and who can seemingly strike up enjoyable conversations with ease as they effortlessly flit about the room. I *do* make comparisons between people like that and myself every so often and feel like a silly, inept imposter which can bring you down.

However .... having said that I *don't* feel I'm in some sort of competition. Fact is, that despite the things I don't like about myself which the whole Fab experience can highlight, I'm still somehow managed to meet some lovely sexy people both socially and sexually who've provided me with some great experiences I can't complain about at all. I've certainly never felt I'm 'scrapping' for the attentions of someone else. I'm very well aware that my occasional 'Fab envy' relates to my own issues rather than feeling anyone's my 'rival'.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I find it hard to believe that the people replying here have never once had a moment of jealousy no matter how mild. That would go against human nature.

Depends on the nature of the human

I havent been jealous since I was a child. Always considered it a useless emotion...it just makes you feel bad...it doesnt achieve or change anything its a useless negative feeling."

There are many useless and negative emotions and yet we still have them from time to time.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Okay, I'll hold my hand up and admit to sometimes feeling jealousy on here. Well, maybe not jealousy as such but more envy and perhaps not in the way you might imagine ...

Very eloquently put and I think more or less sums up me as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I met Cute for a first time we were both singles on here, I think it was after our first two weekends together, when I wanted to be exclusive, but he wanted to meet others. He had met a few women and knowing that he lied to me about his meet made me feel really down.

Now when we are together we're trying to talk about everything and I am not as jealous anymore, because he makes me feel sure I'm enough for him, so I know if we were met some woman, it would make our relationship even stronger, because I will not keep him in monogamous relationship, but make both of us satisfied by fulfilling our fantasies.

And I'm definitely not jealous on people with better bodies, in fact a few days ago I was all excited when I found out one woman whose bum I adore fabbed a few of our pics.

Kitten

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By *heBlankPMan
over a year ago

widnes

I have found it hard work so far.

I’m not the best looking, the muscliest, or the most hung etc.... I’m comfortable with that. But I’m really surprised on a swingers site just how fussy people are. I’ve genuinely had a lot more ‘fun’ on dating apps!

I’ve come to the conclusion that most people on here are here for a perv and to inflate their egos. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it’s better for couples

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

As a couple of posts have already stated I know there's guys on here with better bodies , bigger dicks etc..... But some ( not all ) have an air of arrogance about them and that's far more unattractive in my book !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I admit to feeling a bit of envy at some of the stunning ladies on here. That is my issue though and I’m working through it. As for what everyone else is up to no it doesn’t bother me, and I wish sometimes I was able to keep up the quick witted replies on the flirt threads but I’m better on a 1-1 basis.

I can see that some treat it like a competition and have to be up there on hot pics or lpp, I just smile and scroll on. Now I’m used to the forums I just post what I want, when I want. And use it as a bit of light relief. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I admit to feeling a bit of envy at some of the stunning ladies on here. That is my issue though and I’m working through it. As for what everyone else is up to no it doesn’t bother me, and I wish sometimes I was able to keep up the quick witted replies on the flirt threads but I’m better on a 1-1 basis.

I like that!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We are social animals and our genes drive us to survive and reproduce (Dawkins). So we do unconsciously and consciously compare and compete, strive to fit in etc.

I think it's valuable to remind ourselves just what our objectives are on a frequent basis, so that we don't get pulled into behavior that is counterproductive to what we really need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone get seperate their feelings and put them in a box closed off from every other part of ourselves.

It don't happen in life because we are human complex creatures of rational thought and emotion all of which are inter- connected an form the whole of us.

Fab isn't something seperate from our lives it's a part of it a part of who we are and how we choose to live.

To suggest that we can switch on and off emotions at will is being dishonest to ourselves and others.

It matters not whether it's live lust jealousy happiness sadness or anything else... just wander round the forums and read the threads. People post about being happy sad angry hurt lost excited etc etc...

Emotions are part of us just like arms legs bodies and brains...has anyone ever tried to turn off those physical attributes or would anyone ever want to.

Those who have no emotions are sometimes called psychopaths...they do exist but they are a small minority of the world.

Those who claim they can put their emotions in a box divorced from the rest of ourselves... if you can perhaps your very lucky...but what happens when that box breaks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/01/18 13:06:58]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/01/18 13:06:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not jealousy per say. I don't find myself comparing myself to other women. I'm pretty happy with my lot. If I look on someone's profile, fancy them and see the veris, then I do think 'oooh lucky buggers' haha. In regards of competition. I don't get involved in that. Especially on the forums. You can see the ones who are the flavour of the month, per say. I tend to not get involved. Way too much drama and I'm here for fun, not to get drawn into all that shit... I've even backed off from a couple for an easy life haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/01/18 13:08:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't feel it's a competition as I am what I am (That's now your earworm for the day!) BUT I have been guilty in the past of comparing myself if my other half was chatting to someone. Kind of guessed that's normal though and highlights my insecurities which are almost always under the surface.

Would I like to just feel confident enough to brush it off and just feel comfortable enough in myself? Hell yes!

All this shows I was never a swinger in the first place, but I have no issues with those who do and don't let others affect how they see themselves. Self esteem is a tough nut to crack

P x

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Does anyone get seperate their feelings and put them in a box closed off from every other part of ourselves.

It don't happen in life because we are human complex creatures of rational thought and emotion all of which are inter- connected an form the whole of us.

Fab isn't something seperate from our lives it's a part of it a part of who we are and how we choose to live.

To suggest that we can switch on and off emotions at will is being dishonest to ourselves and others.

Emotions are part of us just like arms legs bodies and brains...has anyone ever tried to turn off those physical attributes or would anyone ever want to.

Those who have no emotions are sometimes called psychopaths...they do exist but they are a small minority of the world.

Those who claim they can put their emotions in a box divorced from the rest of ourselves... if you can perhaps your very lucky...but what happens when that box breaks?

Spot on brother!

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Not jealousy per say. I don't find myself comparing myself to other women. I'm pretty happy with my lot. If I look on someone's profile, fancy them and see the veris, then I do think 'oooh lucky buggers' haha. In regards of competition. I don't get involved in that. Especially on the forums. You can see the ones who are the flavour of the month, per say. I tend to not get involved. Way too much drama and I'm here for fun, not to get drawn into all that shit... I've even backed off from a couple for an easy life haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We see it all over the forums. People posting their preferences body wise, flirting and lamp post pissing.

We all say we don't care, we're here for our own enjoyment and what others do is irrelevant but is it true?

Is it possible not to compare yourself to others? Can you truely say you've never been jealous on fab?

Someone you like met someone else? The person you think has a better body posts yet another hot pic?

Is swinging emotionally draining at times? Does it take a conscious effort to remind yourself to seperate your feelings from your swinging? "

Personally found one or two I won't name who subscribe to the "everyone has they own opinions and right to say so" in reality don't and get all snotty, self-righteous and indignant when you do if it doesn't agree with them.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"We see it all over the forums. People posting their preferences body wise, flirting and lamp post pissing.

We all say we don't care, we're here for our own enjoyment and what others do is irrelevant but is it true?

Is it possible not to compare yourself to others? Can you truely say you've never been jealous on fab?

Someone you like met someone else? The person you think has a better body posts yet another hot pic?

Is swinging emotionally draining at times? Does it take a conscious effort to remind yourself to seperate your feelings from your swinging?

Everyone is guilty of that to some extent. Myself included. Maybe not snotty but might go hmmph to myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really hope that its not too common an occurrence. As the song goes...

"If everybody looked the same, we'd get tired of looking at each other"

Personally speaking, there are parts of me that id like to improve but on the whole I am grateful that my body can do the things it does, if you like me great! If not that's cool too.

Maybe being bisexual makes me less jealous as all I think when looking at a beautiful women's body is if she would like to play with me???

When it comes to men I do find athletic bodies aesthetically pleasing but that doesn't mean I would rule out anyone else. If there's a connection there and you are eager to take things further who cares about anything else x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it bothers you look in the mirror. Those other girls aren’t as hot as you.

Thems my moves.

It’s not much of a competition when you win. Don’t sweat it.

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Jealousy shows itself in various forms around the forums. For the most part it’s futile, destructive and ugly to watch. When it relates to jealousy regarding who is meeting or flirting with who that’s not pleasant to watch. I do wonder if they are on the correct site in the first place. I’m not saying monogamy can’t be found on here just don’t be shocked when you aren’t the only person they’re meeting. If you’re honest about your wants and needs with who you are going to meet at the start, you can avoid most problems. If you both have different expectations jealousy will soon rear it’s ugly head. Although you do need to engage your your bullshit detector while discussing wants and needs

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I’ve not read any of the replies cause I wanted to write what comes off the top of my head. In advance, you’re welcome.

I think you really have to be in the right sort of frame of mind to be a true swinger. I can only speak from personal experience but I don’t own the jealous gene. I’m not insecure and I’m very comfortable in my own skin. Whilst it may be a tad on the lardy side at the moment due to the fact I gave up smoking and I like food (a lot) but it’s changeable and when you’re old and wise you realise that it’s what’s inside that counts.

Of course there has to be an attraction but for me that comes from something more than appearance. It’s in a sense of humour or how someone’s mind works or whether they have dimples when they smile or a lisp (I have a weird lisp fetish) or how articulate they are (or indeed not depending on my current whim).

I don’t spend a lot of time comparing people or paying attention to who is fucking whom cause quite frankly, unless they want to invite me along, it’s really none of my business. I don’t give a shit about verifications cause I have a mind of my own. I don’t read film reviews either, how do I know what they like and what I like would even be in the same ballpark - I mentioned the lisp thing right?!

My view on lamppost pissing is get the fuck over yourself. If I want to flirt outrageously with someone on a public forum then I shall do exactly that. If it’s seen as lamppost pissing then you clearly have no idea about me and quite frankly I give no fucks about that at all. I’m happy to flirt with you too.

Sorry... what was the question again?!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I do feel the odd pangs of envy - when someone types something that I consider to be an absolutely perfect way of describing something that I was trying to express. But that doesn't happen particularly often so it's a rare feeling.

As far as feeling envious of others who my partner has met/ does meet? No, it's an actual turn on for me. With the others I've fucked/been fucked by I do wonder what they are like with other people but that's just my curiosity and nosiness. I don't know if it's my atypical ways but I don't get 'jealous' - it makes swinging a lot easier for me than someone who does I imagine.

I'm happy with me - I know that my own brand of me is attractive and frickin' awesome. No point in comparing myself with others when I am happy with myself.

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By *itmanAndHerrCouple
over a year ago

st helens

Its definitely a competition for many. Its evident on the forums with one-upmanship and we've seen it outside the forums with backbiting and recently jealously. I may be wrong but from what we've seen the competition is mainly among single men and women. This could be because couples tend to be more secure in their own relationship.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

No, I sometimes compare myself to how I used to be, but I don't compare myself to others - the world is full of beautiful young things, and I know my value is in other areas nowadays.

It just makes me giggle when the hot young Tottie still comes after me, on here and on POF - Quelle Domage!!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I find it hard to believe that the people replying here have never once had a moment of jealousy no matter how mild. That would go against human nature."

I can honestly say no as it's sex with strangers...fantasy sex at that.

What's to be jealous about? Most places I go I'm the biggest. I'd be in a constant state of flux otherwise!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think jealousy is quite closely connected with self esteem. If you're happy with yourself you're probably not going to be jealous of anyone else."

How I see it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes

I compare myself to others and get a little pang of jealousy when someone I've met or want to meet meets someone younger, slimmer and prettier than me.

I also find it pretty amazing that no one else on the forum seems to feel this way

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Yes

I compare myself to others and get a little pang of jealousy when someone I've met or want to meet meets someone younger, slimmer and prettier than me.

I also find it pretty amazing that no one else on the forum seems to feel this way

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Yes

I compare myself to others and get a little pang of jealousy when someone I've met or want to meet meets someone younger, slimmer and prettier than me.

I also find it pretty amazing that no one else on the forum seems to feel this way

They do. There are often threads started by people saying as much.

I don't think that because one feels a certain way oneself that it necessarily follows that everyone else feels that too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suppose if you choose to join in, then it is a competition, and probably not a good place to be if you're feeling down or insecure"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello - as a newbie here I can say it is only a competition if you are competitive and insecure anyway - before you joined Fab.

I think it someone posts a pic because they are body confident then good on them. That doesn't mean they are being competitive. At the same time I have known someone who was groomed to an inch of her life because of deep issues which can possibly by extension leads to narcissism and abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all

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