FabSwingers.com forum: Anyone else read the poop knife story today?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!

As you were,

Geeky x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Say what?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The posh fuckers we just have a pair of bolt cutters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The posh fuckers we just have a pair of bolt cutters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

You need to post links to stories like this lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep i read that..made it worse by shouting to his mate to pass the poop knife and everyone else in the house heard!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For removing those dangling poo’s

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5271389/Man-discovers-having-poop-knife-isnt-normal.html

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A foot long poop?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo

Yikes, what on earth had he been eating to need one of those?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5271389/Man-discovers-having-poop-knife-isnt-normal.html"

I have a feeling I’m going to regret this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A foot long poop?"

I think it’s any poop that is ‘hard’ lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5271389/Man-discovers-having-poop-knife-isnt-normal.html"

Hang on let’s have the obligatory “oh not the Daily Fail” comment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was at work on night shift and patient had blocked toilet .I had a look and couldn't believe it .little frail lady blocked loo .I couldn't unblock it .so had to phone estates to unblock it .He looked at me and looked at her and laughed .if I had ,had a stick it would of been easier .patient said she felt better and much lighter .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yikes, what on earth had he been eating to need one of those?

Apparently his missus didn’t know what it’s for and started using it in the kitchen, who the fuck used a rusty knife for anything these days!? If it wasn’t January I would say it’s an April fools... why do I get the feeling this guy isn’t the only one?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5271389/Man-discovers-having-poop-knife-isnt-normal.html

Hang on let’s have the obligatory “oh not the Daily Fail” comment.

Wasn’t just the daily fail that’s reported it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once shared a house with a lad who left fucking huge logs every time he had a shit. We needed to use a trowel to break the fuckers up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a carpet fitter by trade and years ago my mate had a turd in the new build we were fitting out. The water had been switched off, he had to cut it down with his carpet shears and borrow water from the site office. Oh how I laughed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky LizardCouple
over a year ago

west yorks

"The posh fuckers we just have a pair of bolt cutters

Hahahaha! That's funneeeee

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh! That’s cheered me up no end! A poop knife! Bahahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5271389/Man-discovers-having-poop-knife-isnt-normal.html

Hang on let’s have the obligatory “oh not the Daily Fail” comment.

Wasn’t just the daily fail that’s reported it

It’s not my line, I’m just standing in for others. You can’t post that name without it happening, it’s fab forum tradition.

I thought it sounded like a Daily Sport article.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!

As you were,

Geeky x"

A neighbour of mine has one, he told my late husband he chops the turds up or they won't flush away. XXX

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Do they use a poop fork to help pull it out to?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this on reddit? I remember reading and posting in a thread on that last week.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Is this on reddit? I remember reading and posting in a thread on that last week."

Yup!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iSexGeordieMan
over a year ago

North Shields

So I'm going to admit that when I clicked this thread, based purely on the title, a link to a daily fail article about a guy who keeps a knife to use when his toilet is blocked wasn't what I expected.

I genuinely thought someone was cutting poop into segments or doing something grim involving both excrement and blood.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So I'm going to admit that when I clicked this thread, based purely on the title, a link to a daily fail article about a guy who keeps a knife to use when his toilet is blocked wasn't what I expected.

I genuinely thought someone was cutting poop into segments or doing something grim involving both excrement and blood. "

Well at least it wasn’t as grim as you thought!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I sometimes need a turd sinking device for those obstinate floaters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read about it the other day and had a giggle with M about it.

L x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps he should crap into a woodchipper

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No way hahahahahahaaaaaa

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps he should crap into a woodchipper"

Tip of the day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I love this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twice I've been on holiday with my cousin, twice she's blocked the toilet the last time she managed to flood the bathroom so bad we got given another room!! Guess what she's getting for Christmas

Ginger

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I have a friend who is approximately five foot nothing and she blocks every toilet she shits in. I sent her a plunger for Christmas!

I’m going to send her this story!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was at work on night shift and patient had blocked toilet .I had a look and couldn't believe it .little frail lady blocked loo .I couldn't unblock it .so had to phone estates to unblock it .He looked at me and looked at her and laughed .if I had ,had a stick it would of been easier .patient said she felt better and much lighter ."

we have this at work sometimes- their bathrooms are en suite wet rooms so we get the shower head and blast with hot water - dissolves most

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

we have this at work sometimes- their bathrooms are en suite wet rooms so we get the shower head and blast with hot water - dissolves most

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have this at work sometimes- their bathrooms are en suite wet rooms so we get the shower head and blast with hot water - dissolves most

better to deal with than those who cant make it to the loo pink

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have this at work sometimes- their bathrooms are en suite wet rooms so we get the shower head and blast with hot water - dissolves most

better to deal with than those who cant make it to the loo pink

Probably constipated for a week, then Armageddon!..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!

As you were,

Geeky x"

Who the hell does that lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love this thread

you would hahaha - you didnt start it either for a change

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I love this thread

you would hahaha - you didnt start it either for a change"

I would have if I'd seen the article

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love this thread

you would hahaha - you didnt start it either for a change

I would have if I'd seen the article

yup

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Just remembered this and it made me chuckle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just remembered this and it made me chuckle

Brilliant! This made me chuckle seeing it again!

Geeky x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not quite the same but I have a friend who didn't see our issue with her family having a "flower towel" which they all used after cleaning their bits. She insisted it made sense so no one dried their hands on a towel someone had used post shower.

We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Not quite the same but I have a friend who didn't see our issue with her family having a "flower towel" which they all used after cleaning their bits. She insisted it made sense so no one dried their hands on a towel someone had used post shower.

We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each.

That’s all kinds of wrong

Have I understood this correctly, they all use the same towel?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each.

Oh dear god.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Just thought of this thread and it made me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each.

That’s all kinds of wrong

Have I understood this correctly, they all use the same towel?

Oh I didn't notice this! Yes they did

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

We did point out we just all use a fresh towel each.

That’s all kinds of wrong

Have I understood this correctly, they all use the same towel?

Oh I didn't notice this! Yes they did

I won’t even share a hand towel in the toilet, never mind one for drying everyone’s bits

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!

As you were,

Geeky x"

I have met various people who have used poo knives. I found it hilarious, but why not just use a toilet brush to guide anything unflushable?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!

As you were,

Geeky x

I have met various people who have used poo knives. I found it hilarious, but why not just use a toilet brush to guide anything unflushable?"

Wouldn’t it all get stuck in the brush?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What the actual fuck?! Who has a knife by the loo for turds?!

As you were,

Geeky x"

Knife? No. Whisk? Of course.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just thought of this thread and it made me

You need more fibre in your diet. Good luck with the next flush.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Just thought of this thread and it made me

You need more fibre in your diet. Good luck with the next flush.

Don’t tell Swing that he’ll be force feeding me beans

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just thought of this thread and it made me

You need more fibre in your diet. Good luck with the next flush.

Don’t tell Swing that he’ll be force feeding me beans

Beans, beans they make you fart

The more you eat, the more you fart

The more you fart, the better you feel

So let’s have beans with every meal

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Loving the fact this got resurrected lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Just thought of this thread and it made me

You need more fibre in your diet. Good luck with the next flush.

Don’t tell Swing that he’ll be force feeding me beans

Beans, beans they make you fart

The more you eat, the more you fart

The more you fart, the better you feel

So let’s have beans with every meal "

How old are you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just thought of this thread and it made me

You need more fibre in your diet. Good luck with the next flush.

Don’t tell Swing that he’ll be force feeding me beans

Beans, beans they make you fart

The more you eat, the more you fart

The more you fart, the better you feel

So let’s have beans with every meal

How old are you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For any newbies that didn’t enjoy this thread...following in from the poo wiping thread

Danish x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For any newbies that didn’t enjoy this thread...following in from the poo wiping thread

Danish x"

You just had to go and dig it out..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For any newbies that didn’t enjoy this thread...following in from the poo wiping thread

Danish x

You just had to go and dig it out.."

I live to serve....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Idea

Poop whisk.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

All this talk of loo rolls has reminded me of this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"All this talk of loo rolls has reminded me of this thread

Don’t bring it back. What have you done?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!"

It makes me laugh every time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"All this talk of loo rolls has reminded me of this thread

Don’t bring it back. What have you done? "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!"

What the hell is the poo knife?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!

What the hell is the poo knife?

There’s a link earlier in the thread enjoy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!

What the hell is the poo knife?

There’s a link earlier in the thread enjoy

I get a feeling I’m gonna regret this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!

What the hell is the poo knife?

There’s a link earlier in the thread enjoy

I get a feeling I’m gonna regret this.

Oh fo sho

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!

What the hell is the poo knife?

There’s a link earlier in the thread enjoy

I get a feeling I’m gonna regret this.

Oh fo sho

Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

I’ve read/heard it all now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Oh God, dont for fuck sake. Done talk about the poo knife!

What the hell is the poo knife?

There’s a link earlier in the thread enjoy

I get a feeling I’m gonna regret this.

Oh fo sho

Sweet. Baby. Jesus.

I’ve read/heard it all now!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All this talk of loo rolls has reminded me of this thread

It's a really old post from 2018 on Reddit.

https://amp.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7qn75k/poop_knife_from_reddit/

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

Good grief!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good grief!

It’s unbelievable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"Good grief!

It’s unbelievable

Absolutely bonkers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, one may presume one would take this approach if ones 'crimper' had stopped functioning?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

"No, one may presume one would take this approach if ones 'crimper' had stopped functioning?"

Crimper

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, one may presume one would take this approach if ones 'crimper' had stopped functioning?

Crimper

Busted baloon knot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Little Fuck MachineMan
over a year ago

Co.Antrim

Poop Knife

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Little Fuck MachineMan
over a year ago

Co.Antrim

“My what?”

Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

“Wtf is a poop knife?”

Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Good grief!

Good lord

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Good grief!

Good lord

Correct well remembered

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Something has just reminded me of this thread………..again

Sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Something has just reminded me of this thread………..again

Sorry

Is this like "the game"? Now we all have to lose

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I remember the poop knife thread. I can't remember who the OP was though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"I remember the poop knife thread. I can't remember who the OP was though."

Oh it was this thread

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"I remember the poop knife thread. I can't remember who the OP was though.

Oh it was this thread

yes it was and I keep finding it……….I really need to get out more

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

Haha, that's almost as good as the mumsnet penis beaker thing!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread