FabSwingers.com forum: Urinal Etiquette

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

It’s something that we chaps are not taught yet seem to instinctively know almost as though via some esoteric, ancestral memory. Rules include: The observation of silence whilst next to neighbouring pissers (unless you are friends with them); being mindful to not stand too close to fellow urinal users if at all possible as it invariably makes them feel uncomfortable; keeping ones eyes forward at all times (alteritively head held back starring at the ceiling is acceptable) and the golden rule: on no occasion should one look down at adjacent pissers penises etc. List more.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thou shalt wipe seat if you accidentally drip on seat (From a narked woman

)

I know it's not a urinal but when its just a toilet, have a bit of consideration guys!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

You don’t whistle ?

If I get a she-wee can I join in please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Always, where possible, leave at least one urinal between you and the next person

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Always, where possible, leave at least one urinal between you and the next person

If I get to join in, I won’t and I shan’t

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or you come in acting camper than a big row of pink tents, eye all the guys up and down provocatively before loudly declaring, I'll just squeeze in between you two big boys and shuffle in.....just for a laugh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iSexGeordieMan
over a year ago

North Shields

Technically, most lads are taught urinal etiquette through social norms or as is often the case by their dads... It's all part of growing up.

At the same time this entire etiquette goes out the window when out with the lads from rugby and such... so I don't really know aha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."

Exactly my friend

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever and wherever possible; Always keep an empty urinal between users

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Remember also, washing of ones hands after urination is ostensibly very much optional from my years of observation....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More than three shakes is considered a wank and should be avoided...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't shake dry when in close proximity of the person next to you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If using a running machine and theres one other person on one, dont use the one nect to him. Can cause intimidation

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

It is considered to be in highly poor taste to consume the pinapple like rings and/or cubes found in some urinals. (They taste awful anyway)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Or you come in acting camper than a big row of pink tents, eye all the guys up and down provocatively before loudly declaring, I'll just squeeze in between you two big boys and shuffle in.....just for a laugh

That could go bad uf you pick tbe wrong establishment lol

On a side note I once did target pissing on somebodies chunder in a trough type urinal

. It's amazing what you find hilarious when d*unk!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is penile law that one must play 'who can move the stinky block thingy the furthest'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is considered to be in highly poor taste to consume the pinapple like rings and/or cubes found in some urinals. (They taste awful anyway) "

As a kid i always wanted to try them. Dried my mouth out like the cinnammon challenge haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

If there's a noticeable dry patch on the urinal bowl it's obligatory to try and wetten it no matter how high up the bowl it is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I want to know about special ones. Aren’t there some that play music when you pee on them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Be extra mindful at trough urinals to stem ones flow and to aim low; a power piss at chest height might prove an amusing display of masculinity to oneself, but the resulting excessive splash-back is unlikely to best please ones neighbouring users....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I want to know about special ones. Aren’t there some that play music when you pee on them

Yeah some Little Chefs had ones that did that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunkyThighsMan
over a year ago

Gloucester

A few months back I made the mistake of looking down and the chap next to me and I’ve scarred myself for life.

He had so much, I mean so much Bell cheese around his penis I almost heaved!!’

Do some people not wash their dicks!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aveywMan
over a year ago

tramore

I once knew a lady who had a thing for holding my (and a few others) dicks while pissing. That could get messy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"I once knew a lady who had a thing for holding my (and a few others) dicks while pissing. That could get messy. "

What sort of filthy mare likes that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aveywMan
over a year ago

tramore

"I once knew a lady who had a thing for holding my (and a few others) dicks while pissing. That could get messy.

What sort of filthy mare likes that

takes all sorts I suppose.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Urinals are so named as they have been specifically designed as receptacles for urine.....not faeces....would therefore whoever shat in the kidney urinal at Banbury train station a few weeks ago please remember this for future reference.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More than 6 shakes and you’re playing with it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."

Hmmmm hoping Ads sees this, I forgot to tell him he left the sit up yesterday and I swear to god I thought I was a human sucker when I sat down, I positive my arse wasn’t going to budge out the bowl!

Geeky x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The finest examples of urinals are the Victorian ones in the Philharmonic Pub in Liverpool

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"More than 6 shakes and you’re playing with it"

Someone above said three which technically makes you a wa.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aveywMan
over a year ago

tramore

"More than 6 shakes and you’re playing with it

Someone above said three which technically makes you a wa......."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"More than 6 shakes and you’re playing with it

Someone above said three which technically makes you a wa.......

My bad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."

Leaving the seat up isn’t an issue, it’s men not lifting it up before having a wee that I can’t abide

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..

Geeky x"

Oh that doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"More than 6 shakes and you’re playing with it

Someone above said three which technically makes you a wa.......

My bad

clearly in Liverpool we were allowed a bit more leeway before calling each other wankers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once knew a lady who had a thing for holding my (and a few others) dicks while pissing. That could get messy.

What sort of filthy mare likes that

Welsh ones if my memory is correct

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is air-drying by windmill acceptable?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is air-drying by windmill acceptable?"

As long as the centrifugal force exceeds the escape velocity

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..

Geeky x"

Let us not forget we aren’t the only users of said toilet and I always... ALWAYS put the seat down even put the lid down.

Ads

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..

Geeky x

Let us not forget we aren’t the only users of said toilet and I always... ALWAYS put the seat down even put the lid down.

Ads"

Are you in the dog house for something

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aveywMan
over a year ago

tramore

What are the rules in ladies toilets?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I went to boarding school. In our house, if you went for a piss and used the middle urinal (there were only 3 on each side of the door), you were a gay boi for about a week

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"What are the rules in ladies toilets?"

From what I’ve heard, mostly exactly the opposite to ours; chatting is entirely acceptable for instance. Oh, and queuing for about twenty minutes is considered normal

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..

Geeky x

Let us not forget we aren’t the only users of said toilet and I always... ALWAYS put the seat down even put the lid down.

Ads

Are you in the dog house for something

Apparently I left the toilet seat up

But in a house share it could have been any one of the 3 other blokes who live here or the other girls boyfriend for all I know

I just know I would never cause Geeky’s bottom to get vacuum sealed into the toilet

Ads

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty.."

It's a lot easier to find a woman clever enough to work a toilet seat. We have a deal, I don't whine about her leaving it down and she doesn't whine about it left up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Thou shalt put down the seat after having partaketh of a piss or though shalt get it in the neck and possibly be on stoppage of rumpy pumpy by her with the unintentially wet botty..

It's a lot easier to find a woman clever enough to work a toilet seat. We have a deal, I don't whine about her leaving it down and she doesn't whine about it left up. "

Traitor

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Another rule: It’s quicker and indeed, easier to merely undo ones flies before pulling out the old chap; pulling down ones trousers and pants amongst a line of men will only serve to provoke consternation and confusion within the assembled ranks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are the rules in ladies toilets?"

You must go in twos.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"What are the rules in ladies toilets?

You must go in twos.

Cheers. I’m no lady then

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"What are the rules in ladies toilets?

You must go in twos.

Does that apply if you are going for a number 2?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread