FabSwingers.com forum: Over thinking

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Am i being too sensitive?

Been chatting to someone for a few weeks now, all going well phone chat, skype chat just chatting not playing. all set for a meet, but due to family could not meet for a week.

In the mean time the person I'm chatting to arranges a meet with someone else ( I know its fab)

ive been left feeling a bit flat, i got over it, but the person still mentions the other person every now and again.

Im not one for chatting with lots of people while i am talking to someone,

guess i'm asking how would this make you feel? and am I over thinking the situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't want someone that only wants to concentrate on me. I have a husband and family and very little time. I'm not looking to make any sort of commitment to another. It's a swinging site after all so this attitude shouldn't really surprise anyone. I guess the problem is when you chat to those with different expectations than yourself. Just make sure you sort out the important things before getting too far down the line. It avoids wrong assumptions being made and disappointment.

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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago

Slough Windsor ish

Maybe she was chatting with them before you?

It is Fab and therefore intended to be no strings...

Be thankful shes honest and upfront about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On sites like this, keep your options open.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you don't need to know about her sex life. Unless someone asks me, I would talk about other men to someone who wants to have sex with me.

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Maybe she was chatting to this other guy before you, maybe she's been waiting a while to meet him too.

She hasn't done anything wrong. Not entirely sure why she keeps mentioning him to you though unless you are bringing it up. She still wants to meet you I'm guessing, so chin up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met others while waiting to meet someone else. It's just about availability don't take it personal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I tend to concentrate on one person at a time so while I may be talking to others I only have set plans to meet one and my focus is on them. If that's not reciprocated then it can feel a bit hurtful and I question why I wasn't enough to hold their attention. I have to remind myself that people approach things in different ways and it's not personal.

Part of swinging for me is dealing with jealousy if it happens.

You can't help how you feel but you can deal with it and move on or at least look at what you expect or can deal with in regards to the future and work towards finding that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wouldn't make me feel anything. If I can't meet, for whatever reason, I wouldn't expect them to wait around for me. It might be the only free time they have for a while.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Am i being too sensitive?

Been chatting to someone for a few weeks now, all going well phone chat, skype chat just chatting not playing. all set for a meet, but due to family could not meet for a week.

In the mean time the person I'm chatting to arranges a meet with someone else ( I know its fab)

ive been left feeling a bit flat, i got over it, but the person still mentions the other person every now and again.

Im not one for chatting with lots of people while i am talking to someone,

guess i'm asking how would this make you feel? and am I over thinking the situation"

We assume that everyone we're talking to is chatting to other people. It doesn't make us feel anything really.

If you find that people interacting with other people makes you feel bad you might struggle with swinging.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

She has done nothing wrong, you couldn't meet and this is a site for getting to know a few if you people if you want to.

Don't let it put you off, at least she is still chatting to you.

Be careful though, of getting too attached, or setting yourself up to fail.

If you haven't met her yet you can't even be sure that the chemistry is there, yet, to me, you are already feeling just a little bit possessive of her attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone comes onto fab for different reasons. Different reasons why they decided fab was the site for them, different ways of meeting, different views on how many people you see.

The variety is endless. The key is comunication in what you're looking for. You can add it to your profile (although banking on everyone reading it is a common error!) or discuss before you decide you want to meet.

I do get where you're coming from, I've felt like this too but then I was looking for a regular fwb.

I don't need to look anymore and what I have is a lot more than I had ever imagined.

There are people out there with a similar outlook. Patience is key!

(P)

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By *hamboy69Man
over a year ago

huddersfield

"It wouldn't make me feel anything. If I can't meet, for whatever reason, I wouldn't expect them to wait around for me. It might be the only free time they have for a while."
Absolutely let them get on with it and get the filthy details later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me I tend to concentrate on one person at a time so while I may be talking to others I only have set plans to meet one and my focus is on them. If that's not reciprocated then it can feel a bit hurtful and I question why I wasn't enough to hold their attention. I have to remind myself that people approach things in different ways and it's not personal.

Part of swinging for me is dealing with jealousy if it happens.

You can't help how you feel but you can deal with it and move on or at least look at what you expect or can deal with in regards to the future and work towards finding that. "

This is an excellent attitude. Over-thinking on a site like Fab is pointless and destructive but kindness and honesty goes a long way.

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By *rsTrellisWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

I can understand. I think that, especially at first, it takes a bit of practice to be casual about things.

If you're really honest, if another lovely woman approached you now to chat and maybe meet, would you put her off?

Opportunities are easier to come by for women on Fab so maybe she's just taking the opportunities as they arise.

Sorry it's made you feel flat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you great advice so good

To see the difference in opinions,, whilst I know it's a swinging site, I guess I'm

Just after a regular fuck buddy

Thanks again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell her you don't need to know about her sex life. Unless someone asks me, I would talk about other men to someone who wants to have sex with me.

Yes I found it a bit odd that she would mention others to the op at all. That puts me off someone completely as I like my privacy and I wouldn't be able to trust them not to talk about me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you start chatting to someone I think you have too see if both are wanting the same .Alot swing and alot are looking for a fuck buddy .If both wanting different things it won't work .

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it's important - especially for single men here - to initiate many connections with others. Nothing is confirmed until you have met, so also don't count your chickens too early, as the saying goes.

If someone gets a sense that you are exclusively following just them it can place a hidden pressure on to them - less is more, can be much better.

If it's a hard habit to break, go out and socialize at clubs etc to increase your range of possibilities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shame you’re up north, I need someone like you close to me

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By *eardedProctologistMan
over a year ago

Here and there but more here than there

"Tell her you don't need to know about her sex life. Unless someone asks me, I would talk about other men to someone who wants to have sex with me.

Exactly, I am the same.

Now maybe she was trying to get a reaction from you, which it clearly worked.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Part of swinging for me is dealing with jealousy if it happens.

You can't help how you feel but you can deal with it and move on or at least look at what you expect or can deal with in regards to the future and work towards finding that. "

This for me

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Part of swinging for me is dealing with jealousy if it happens.

You can't help how you feel but you can deal with it and move on or at least look at what you expect or can deal with in regards to the future and work towards finding that. "

I'm glad you said that as that is how I tend to do things as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes a confident and secure person to be a swinger. At the end of the day you have no control over who other people decide to meet. We are, after all, here to share each other sexually. Most people aren't looking for an emotional connection with others, just great sex and maybe friendship? Try not to take things personally which can be hard if you really like someone.

If a guy started to talk to me about other women he had met, I wouldn't be very happy. Just tell her firmly you don't want to know about it.

Good Luck

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Am i being too sensitive?

Been chatting to someone for a few weeks now, all going well phone chat, skype chat just chatting not playing. all set for a meet, but due to family could not meet for a week.

In the mean time the person I'm chatting to arranges a meet with someone else ( I know its fab)

ive been left feeling a bit flat, i got over it, but the person still mentions the other person every now and again.

Im not one for chatting with lots of people while i am talking to someone,

guess i'm asking how would this make you feel? and am I over thinking the situation"

A verification popping up out of the blue can be a shock, but I would assume that everyone you talk to on here is talking to, and arranging to meet, other people, then it's a pleasant surprise when you find out they're not.

If you are open to something deeper or more exclusive I would put that on your profile too - there are many women who would love that, but at the moment your profile just looks as though you are after nsa sex, not even something regular. Women who do want more could easily pass you by because of that. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your to emotionally attached to this woman by the sound of it. The beauty of this site is that people are free to have sex with anyone they please without being judged, hence why you can leave veri's. Maybe this place isnt for you, give POF a try.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

And post more pics please - I have a feeling us ladies would appreciate them!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Again thank you for all the opinions, all taken and board minus the guy that text saying I sound like a stalker

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