FabSwingers.com forum: I don't.........

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

want spanked. Or my hair pulled. Or my face slapped.

I don't want a "dominant" man.

Why is this a thing now? Why do guys message saying things like this? Is it becoming "the norm"?

What happened to mutual pleasure, the give and take of control? Where did this assumption that I want a random stranger to physically abuse me just because I'm female come from?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry to hear that however not all men are like that...i truly hope you get what you came on the site for good luckx

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By *atsun xxxMan
over a year ago

Nr LOUTH Lincolnshire

Hey Rubi

I couldn’t slap you, I would tickle you

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hey Rubi

I couldn’t slap you, I would tickle you

Xxx"

I might hate that more

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Thought all that Dom rubbish would have died out by now after being done to death in 50 shades.

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By *atsun xxxMan
over a year ago

Nr LOUTH Lincolnshire

"Hey Rubi

I couldn’t slap you, I would tickle you

Xxx

I might hate that more

With my tongue

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not pop that on your profile? Tell guys you're not into that.

Personally I like it but not with a stranger, trust involved as I don't want to attract a guy who just wants to beat me up!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why not pop that on your profile? Tell guys you're not into that.

Personally I like it but not with a stranger, trust involved as I don't want to attract a guy who just wants to beat me up!! "

That's the thing, in the heat of the moment with someone I know and trust then yeah, maybe. But I don't want to meet someone with those intentions only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's most likely derived from the rise of violent porn, blokes thinking that's what girls want and the need to feel in charge plus they don't do anything dangerous in their lives or jobs and don't understand pain just plain HURTS.

A light tickle might be nice though

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

If it's any consolation I don't want you to pull my hair or slap my face either

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it's any consolation I don't want you to pull my hair or slap my face either

Damn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about tickling

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What about tickling

Never ever ever tickling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's most likely derived from the rise of violent porn, blokes thinking that's what girls want and the need to feel in charge plus they don't do anything dangerous in their lives or jobs and don't understand pain just plain HURTS.

A light tickle might be nice though"

I would second that. The flavour at the moment is rough sex porn and that is where some (not all) guys do get there knowledge on what women want during sex.

Sex is about enjoyment and both must enjoying. Empowering someone is not fun for both parties, saying that, I'm guessing if they are talking about rough sex on the outset, your opinion/needs would not matter. It's about them and always will be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about tickling

Never ever ever tickling

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

I quite like hair pulling and spanking, but a first message that told me that’s what they wanted to do to me would not be welcome.

Don’t slap my face though, unless you expect to get slapped right back!

And as for tickling...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's down to preference so do some don't lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind hair pulling and spanking. But I would not tolerate face slapping, I would punch them if they did that put my clothes on and leave XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Face slapping isn't right like .that's abuse I think .they would be lucky to have your clothes off if there in to slapping women

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think it comes down to the negative side of the internet opening out knowledge of areas of sexuality like BDSM - before the internet BDSM was very much a niche area of sexuality that was enjoyed and practiced by a minority.

Since then, and with the addition of things like 50 Shades and it's plethora of copycats, that have bought BDSM (or a version of it) into the mainstream - on the one hand it's opened it out to a wider audience who may not have enjoyed or even known about it previously but on the negative side it's left it open, to those without a knowledge or understanding of what it means, to think it's acceptable to act in the way you've described and think it's what all women want. Which couldn't be further from the truth.

Unfortunately now it's out of the box I'm not sure there's an easy way to put it back in - so sadly deleting and blocking and hoping that threads like this serve to educate are the only ways forward for now, on here at least.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now? I am pretty sure that it's been a thing on here since before I joined. And there's many a profile asking for "dominant" men.

There's just a broad (mis)interpretation by a lot of folk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now? I am pretty sure that it's been a thing on here since before I joined. And there's many a profile asking for "dominant" men.

There's just a broad (mis)interpretation by a lot of folk

Are you a dominant man?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I like my hair wrapped around a fist whilst he is behind me

And I often deserve a spank.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Now? I am pretty sure that it's been a thing on here since before I joined. And there's many a profile asking for "dominant" men.

There's just a broad (mis)interpretation by a lot of folk

Are you a dominant man? "

Pfft.

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By *lanPartridgeMan
over a year ago

nottingham

It's just a thing that some are into. Any kink can seem ridiculous if you're not into it. The golden rule is it has to be consensual or it's abusive ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Now? I am pretty sure that it's been a thing on here since before I joined. And there's many a profile asking for "dominant" men.

There's just a broad (mis)interpretation by a lot of folk

Hence my use of quotation marks. I'm not adverse to a man who takes control, I just don't want him to assume he can treat me like shit to do it.

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Tried it..not for me..i like nsai..no stings attached intimacy...difficult for most ppl i have to say..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's just a thing that some are into. Any kink can seem ridiculous if you're not into it. The golden rule is it has to be consensual or it's abusive ..."

Yeah I'm not questioning that some are into it. More the assumption a lot of men make that all women are.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Many don't even know what being dominant means.

It isn't pissing around with a few slaps and a cable tie or two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy that but not with just anyone. Has to be someone I’ve built up a level of trust x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think it's any different to the "I want to lick your fussy for hours messages" we sometimes get.

Men often have a difficult time on fab when it comes to making contact. Some try and appeal by setting out their sexual wares. It works for some and not others but you can't blame them for trying.

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By *lanPartridgeMan
over a year ago

nottingham

"It's just a thing that some are into. Any kink can seem ridiculous if you're not into it. The golden rule is it has to be consensual or it's abusive ...

Yeah I'm not questioning that some are into it. More the assumption a lot of men make that all women are. "

I would tend to assume women are generally not into it. But I agree, in the current climate I'm probably in a minority ...

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"I like my hair wrapped around a fist whilst he is behind me

And I often deserve a spank."

There’s usually a queue by the time I get there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One should never assume anything about anything...big mistake to make!

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

[Removed by poster at 13/01/18 10:24:26]

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"Why not pop that on your profile? Tell guys you're not into that.

Personally I like it but not with a stranger, trust involved as I don't want to attract a guy who just wants to beat me up!! "

I have no doms/masters etc on my single profile,but like everything it gets ignored

Miss

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By *queekyCheesyCouple
over a year ago

newark

Did you not know that everyone becomes an expert overnight?

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

"I quite like hair pulling and spanking, but a first message that told me that’s what they wanted to do to me would not be welcome.

Don’t slap my face though, unless you expect to get slapped right back!

And as for tickling...

Totally agree

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it's a relic from some porn, where we are accessories for their solo wank expansion into the real world or to complement their inadequacies. They've grown up a bit from their childhood toys where they played toughboy roles as all-conquering master of the universe or something. They'll now extend it out of their solitary bedroom playing to have women to treat roughly -we're obviously all needy to submit to such tough

men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not adverse to a man who takes control, I just don't want him to assume he can treat me like shit to do it. "

Yep, this.

I don't even mention that I'm submissive on here anymore, as that leads to the assumption that I really enjoy pain and being humiliated.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I'm not adverse to a man who takes control, I just don't want him to assume he can treat me like shit to do it.

Yep, this.

I don't even mention that I'm submissive on here anymore, as that leads to the assumption that I really enjoy pain and being humiliated.

"
^ May I just say you have the best username in Fab !!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

If I've got to the point that sex is on the cards we usually chat about likes/dislikes etc so I'm not put in this kind of situation.

I didn't have that chat with my last encounter so when he slapped me around the face I was a bit

and thought if he does that again his teeth are going to hit the back of his throat!!

He turned out to be a bit of a CG wannabe so I ended up blocking him.

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