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Intimacy, loneliness and consequence

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The universe we occupy is a creature of the head and wholly unique to the individual.

The process of intimacy is the process of becoming better at inviting the outside world into the head to have a good look around.

The sensation of loneliness is the crushing acknowledgement that, no matter how good we are at giving out such invitations, no one will be able to see very much at all.

This does not mean we should give up on making these invitations, far from it. If we give up on mankind we become wretched misanthropes. Worse still, if we give up on the natural world we become wretched bypass building badger baiting self-referential bourgeoisie.

However, the future it seems does not fill me with confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow. I was just pondering starting the new year as a single person and read this. How very poignant.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wow. I was just pondering starting the new year as a single person and read this. How very poignant. "

Sometimes strange things happen for a reason though you may not be able to fathom them at the time.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Mankind's future has rarely filled anyone with confident. One's personal future however is different since certain aspects of it lie in one's own hands.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*confidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm looking forward to my demise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mankind's future has rarely filled anyone with confident. One's personal future however is different since certain aspects of it lie in one's own hands."

Yet there has to remain hope, without hope we are only left with the question 'what's the point?'. It seems to me that the biggest cause if it all is our increasing disconnectedness, from ourselves, from each other and from the outside world in general.

We do have the power to steer our own destiny if only we are brave enough to grasp the helm.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Mankind's future has rarely filled anyone with confident. One's personal future however is different since certain aspects of it lie in one's own hands.

Yet there has to remain hope, without hope we are only left with the question 'what's the point?'. It seems to me that the biggest cause if it all is our increasing disconnectedness, from ourselves, from each other and from the outside world in general.

We do have the power to steer our own destiny if only we are brave enough to grasp the helm."

May I suggest you read "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari if you haven't already. It reveals just how disconnected we've become.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mankind's future has rarely filled anyone with confident. One's personal future however is different since certain aspects of it lie in one's own hands.

Yet there has to remain hope, without hope we are only left with the question 'what's the point?'. It seems to me that the biggest cause if it all is our increasing disconnectedness, from ourselves, from each other and from the outside world in general.

We do have the power to steer our own destiny if only we are brave enough to grasp the helm.

May I suggest you read "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari if you haven't already. It reveals just how disconnected we've become."

I have that book funnily enough, it's the next one on my reading list as soon as i finish the one i'm on now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been single for a very long time and yes starved of real affection x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Mankind's future has rarely filled anyone with confident. One's personal future however is different since certain aspects of it lie in one's own hands.

Yet there has to remain hope, without hope we are only left with the question 'what's the point?'. It seems to me that the biggest cause if it all is our increasing disconnectedness, from ourselves, from each other and from the outside world in general.

We do have the power to steer our own destiny if only we are brave enough to grasp the helm.

May I suggest you read "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari if you haven't already. It reveals just how disconnected we've become.

I have that book funnily enough, it's the next one on my reading list as soon as i finish the one i'm on now."

It's one point of view and not everyone will agree with everything he says but I'm finding it very interesting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mankind's future has rarely filled anyone with confident. One's personal future however is different since certain aspects of it lie in one's own hands.

Yet there has to remain hope, without hope we are only left with the question 'what's the point?'. It seems to me that the biggest cause if it all is our increasing disconnectedness, from ourselves, from each other and from the outside world in general.

We do have the power to steer our own destiny if only we are brave enough to grasp the helm.

May I suggest you read "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari if you haven't already. It reveals just how disconnected we've become.

I have that book funnily enough, it's the next one on my reading list as soon as i finish the one i'm on now.

It's one point of view and not everyone will agree with everything he says but I'm finding it very interesting."

Then i'm definitely looking forward to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Misanthropes of the world unite. Then fuck right off. And that goes for the rest of you, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe if people stopped making their own happiness the responsibility of everyone else these 'problems' wouldn't exist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The universe we occupy is a creature of the head and wholly unique to the individual.

The process of intimacy is the process of becoming better at inviting the outside world into the head to have a good look around.

The sensation of loneliness is the crushing acknowledgement that, no matter how good we are at giving out such invitations, no one will be able to see very much at all.

This does not mean we should give up on making these invitations, far from it. If we give up on mankind we become wretched misanthropes. Worse still, if we give up on the natural world we become wretched bypass building badger baiting self-referential bourgeoisie.

However, the future it seems does not fill me with confidence.

"
amazing

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe if people stopped making their own happiness the responsibility of everyone else these 'problems' wouldn't exist."

I couldn't agree more, this was partly the purpose of this post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure where I read it...

We are nothing more than ghosts, piloting meat covered skeletons, made of stardust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe if people stopped making their own happiness the responsibility of everyone else these 'problems' wouldn't exist.

I couldn't agree more, this was partly the purpose of this post."

Really??? I Read it as the complete opposite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't rely on anyone but myself to make me happy. The fact that my family makes me happy is inconsequential.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, when you have people relying on you, they can be the reason you aren't unhappy.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Happiness isn't a right although the American Declaration of Independence claims the pursuit of it is an unalienable right. Does that mean that in the pursuit of happiness we can expect other people to provide the means to achieving it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe if people stopped making their own happiness the responsibility of everyone else these 'problems' wouldn't exist.

I couldn't agree more, this was partly the purpose of this post.

Really??? I Read it as the complete opposite "

I don't think my op suggests that our own personal happiness is the responsibilty of others. I hoped it would suggest that we can maintain a sense of intimacy with ourselves and others and therefore overcome the sensation of loneliness by being open to the outside world and making sure that we remain connected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe if people stopped making their own happiness the responsibility of everyone else these 'problems' wouldn't exist.

I couldn't agree more, this was partly the purpose of this post.

Really??? I Read it as the complete opposite

I don't think my op suggests that our own personal happiness is the responsibilty of others. I hoped it would suggest that we can maintain a sense of intimacy with ourselves and others and therefore overcome the sensation of loneliness by being open to the outside world and making sure that we remain connected."

I thought it did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Happiness isn't a right although the American Declaration of Independence claims the pursuit of it is an unalienable right. Does that mean that in the pursuit of happiness we can expect other people to provide the means to achieving it?"

And this ticks me off. I also believe it isn't a right but it seems to me that the vast majority of people are quite happy to feel it is, even at the expense of other people's. Fuck them.

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By *bovethekneeCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire / Herefordshire

The pursuit of happiness has made so many people think that it is something external they need to acquire, rather than seeing it as an internal thing. The old adage of counting your blessings was probably said to reverse the urge to go out and 'get' happy.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Mankind's future has rarely filled anyone with confident. One's personal future however is different since certain aspects of it lie in one's own hands.

Yet there has to remain hope, without hope we are only left with the question 'what's the point?'. It seems to me that the biggest cause if it all is our increasing disconnectedness, from ourselves, from each other and from the outside world in general.

"

Yes, that is what I think is a big problem with swinging, for singles at any rate. Physical intimacy is not the same as the deep connectedness I believe we are all built to crave, and a poor substitute for it when we are too damaged to be open enough to make those connections.

You hear the fallout on this and other forums all the time.

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By *eardedProctologistMan
over a year ago

Here and there but more here than there

The pursuit of hapiness is totally subjective, what might suffices myself to be happy, might not suffice someone else. Nonetheless, I think is deeply interwoven with our social environment. (Broad sense of it)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Happiness isn't a right although the American Declaration of Independence claims the pursuit of it is an unalienable right. Does that mean that in the pursuit of happiness we can expect other people to provide the means to achieving it?

And this ticks me off. I also believe it isn't a right but it seems to me that the vast majority of people are quite happy to feel it is, even at the expense of other people's. Fuck them. "

I think a lot of people misunderstand happiness.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

[Removed by poster at 12/01/18 14:42:26]

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Mankind's future has rarely filled anyone with confident. One's personal future however is different since certain aspects of it lie in one's own hands.

Yet there has to remain hope, without hope we are only left with the question 'what's the point?'. It seems to me that the biggest cause if it all is our increasing disconnectedness, from ourselves, from each other and from the outside world in general.

."

And the problem that is becoming highlighted with all forms of social media - the drive of the dopamine hit feedback loop of 'likes' and 'responses' which increasingly keep people at home alone, disconnected, staring into a screen!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Happiness may be impossible to define but i think we are aware of things that make us unhappy and, of course, we should never make our happiness the responsibility of others though we can put ourselves in situations where we can derive happiness from other people.

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By *urlesque!Woman
over a year ago

Gloucester


"Happiness may be impossible to define but i think we are aware of things that make us unhappy and, of course, we should never make our happiness the responsibility of others though we can put ourselves in situations where we can derive happiness from other people."

Agree with you.

Some people kind of "make us happy" and others have the effect of dragging us down. Ultimately, what you are saying is that it is our responsibility to allow and accept the happy vibes/ disallow the negativity?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Happiness may be impossible to define but i think we are aware of things that make us unhappy and, of course, we should never make our happiness the responsibility of others though we can put ourselves in situations where we can derive happiness from other people.

Agree with you.

Some people kind of "make us happy" and others have the effect of dragging us down. Ultimately, what you are saying is that it is our responsibility to allow and accept the happy vibes/ disallow the negativity?"

Yes, but we must make sure that we keep ourselves open to the possibility and maintain connection. This way we can cherry pick the things that we think might make us happy and filter out the things that might prove toxic rather than keeping ourselves closed off because we assume everything is bad.

The world can be a dreadful and scary place, it helps to know that we're not alone in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't be happy with others until you are happy with in yourself which we all have to work on x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

There's an incremental process of us understanding our own world and another one where we unwrap ourselves from our protective yet isolated inner world with those we trust.

Unlike cutting a ribbon where the silk covers fall away, it's wiser for us to tease with the allure of our inner golden beauty, testing the waters for quicksand, undercurrents and finding what may be a white water ride of excitement.(overdose of metaphors )

We often search for many of the wrong things in life but if we're learning then we can't help but become wiser.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wow. I was just pondering starting the new year as a single person and read this. How very poignant.

Sometimes strange things happen for a reason though you may not be able to fathom them at the time."

Oh no. By choice I am single. Changing a few things. And I don't rely on other people for my happiness. Not at all. A lot of assumptions on this feed. It is after all a fab forum though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wow. I was just pondering starting the new year as a single person and read this. How very poignant.

Sometimes strange things happen for a reason though you may not be able to fathom them at the time.

Oh no. By choice I am single. Changing a few things. And I don't rely on other people for my happiness. Not at all. A lot of assumptions on this feed. It is after all a fab forum though "

I can only speak from my own experience, it's perfectly understandable that some that have had different experiences will also have different opinions as a result.

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