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"I also drank my father in law's favourite 30 year old brandy while house sitting and topped it up with cold tea " Bastard!!!!! | |||
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"I change sec to sex in text messages to girls and blame it on autocorrect in the hope it puts the idea in their head " | |||
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"So today i eat a biscuit and im suppose to be dieting... Whats your confessions for the day? " My confession is that I've just had a perve at your pics OP | |||
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"I had a handful of mint matchmakers... for breakfast " I fail to see how this is bad | |||
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"And his name was buck which didn't help shouting that out while trying to catch him " I think you win the confessions at the moment however the day is young.. | |||
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"And his name was buck which didn't help shouting that out while trying to catch him I think you win the confessions at the moment however the day is young.. " . I thought I better stop as I was beginning to look bad | |||
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"And his name was buck which didn't help shouting that out while trying to catch him I think you win the confessions at the moment however the day is young.. . I thought I better stop as I was beginning to look bad " No do carry on it's amusing | |||
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"And his name was buck which didn't help shouting that out while trying to catch him I think you win the confessions at the moment however the day is young.. . I thought I better stop as I was beginning to look bad No do carry on it's amusing " . Awwwww your just saying that to make me feel better | |||
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"So today i eat a biscuit and im suppose to be dieting... Whats your confessions for the day? " Nothing, I am an angel, I have fed, mucked out and schooled horses, then done a serious body condition class and only eaten 3/4 an Atkins bar, some home-made soup, and a couple of slices of low fat cheese!! | |||
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"So today i eat a biscuit and im suppose to be dieting... Whats your confessions for the day? " I ate my dinner 3 hours early because I was hungry. Loooong time until breakfast now | |||
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"I'm not very proud of this one but... I once went on a "blind date/social" a few years back with this lady who looked very nice in her pictures but was err "bonkers" and she had this really annoying laugh like a donkey and she laughed at everything all the time . Anyhow i get this two hour story of everything that's gone wrong in her life, everybody's died, family, friends, pets, the works, depression and recession and work and she's only just begun to recover and she was very nice apart from being bonkers with an annoying laugh and were finishing up in this restaurant and she wants to go up town and I couldn't bring myself to say no but I couldn't stand it any longer either so I decided to climb out the toilet window (I know terrible). Long story short, smaller toilet window than I thought and bigger drop on other side than I imagined meant I ripped all my pants and fell on my head, staggering up the road while holding my pants up and dabbing my bleeding forehead.... She appeared... Wherve you been, what's happened I've been looking all over for you.. (oooh no, think quick)...I was mugged while having a quick fag, they've taken my wallet and me phone and me house keys, three big fellas I fought two off but the third one bashed me over the head . Ill be alright, I just need to get home and have a nice cuppa. To which she gave me a tenner for taxi and to my shame I took it " Are you making these up?! | |||
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"I'm not very proud of this one but... I once went on a "blind date/social" a few years back with this lady who looked very nice in her pictures but was err "bonkers" and she had this really annoying laugh like a donkey and she laughed at everything all the time . Anyhow i get this two hour story of everything that's gone wrong in her life, everybody's died, family, friends, pets, the works, depression and recession and work and she's only just begun to recover and she was very nice apart from being bonkers with an annoying laugh and were finishing up in this restaurant and she wants to go up town and I couldn't bring myself to say no but I couldn't stand it any longer either so I decided to climb out the toilet window (I know terrible). Long story short, smaller toilet window than I thought and bigger drop on other side than I imagined meant I ripped all my pants and fell on my head, staggering up the road while holding my pants up and dabbing my bleeding forehead.... She appeared... Wherve you been, what's happened I've been looking all over for you.. (oooh no, think quick)...I was mugged while having a quick fag, they've taken my wallet and me phone and me house keys, three big fellas I fought two off but the third one bashed me over the head . Ill be alright, I just need to get home and have a nice cuppa. To which she gave me a tenner for taxi and to my shame I took it Are you making these up?! " . The names have been changed to protect the innocent but apart from that sadly there all true | |||
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"I'm not very proud of this one but... I once went on a "blind date/social" a few years back with this lady who looked very nice in her pictures but was err "bonkers" and she had this really annoying laugh like a donkey and she laughed at everything all the time . Anyhow i get this two hour story of everything that's gone wrong in her life, everybody's died, family, friends, pets, the works, depression and recession and work and she's only just begun to recover and she was very nice apart from being bonkers with an annoying laugh and were finishing up in this restaurant and she wants to go up town and I couldn't bring myself to say no but I couldn't stand it any longer either so I decided to climb out the toilet window (I know terrible). Long story short, smaller toilet window than I thought and bigger drop on other side than I imagined meant I ripped all my pants and fell on my head, staggering up the road while holding my pants up and dabbing my bleeding forehead.... She appeared... Wherve you been, what's happened I've been looking all over for you.. (oooh no, think quick)...I was mugged while having a quick fag, they've taken my wallet and me phone and me house keys, three big fellas I fought two off but the third one bashed me over the head . Ill be alright, I just need to get home and have a nice cuppa. To which she gave me a tenner for taxi and to my shame I took it Are you making these up?! . The names have been changed to protect the innocent but apart from that sadly there all true " That is bad! I can't believe you took the tenner,may the Lord strike you down! | |||
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"I'm not very proud of this one but... I once went on a "blind date/social" a few years back with this lady who looked very nice in her pictures but was err "bonkers" and she had this really annoying laugh like a donkey and she laughed at everything all the time . Anyhow i get this two hour story of everything that's gone wrong in her life, everybody's died, family, friends, pets, the works, depression and recession and work and she's only just begun to recover and she was very nice apart from being bonkers with an annoying laugh and were finishing up in this restaurant and she wants to go up town and I couldn't bring myself to say no but I couldn't stand it any longer either so I decided to climb out the toilet window (I know terrible). Long story short, smaller toilet window than I thought and bigger drop on other side than I imagined meant I ripped all my pants and fell on my head, staggering up the road while holding my pants up and dabbing my bleeding forehead.... She appeared... Wherve you been, what's happened I've been looking all over for you.. (oooh no, think quick)...I was mugged while having a quick fag, they've taken my wallet and me phone and me house keys, three big fellas I fought two off but the third one bashed me over the head . Ill be alright, I just need to get home and have a nice cuppa. To which she gave me a tenner for taxi and to my shame I took it Are you making these up?! . The names have been changed to protect the innocent but apart from that sadly there all true That is bad! I can't believe you took the tenner,may the Lord strike you down!" . That's just what the vicar said in confession | |||
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"And his name was buck which didn't help shouting that out while trying to catch him I think you win the confessions at the moment however the day is young.. . I thought I better stop as I was beginning to look bad " And making them up! This can double up as my confession, not believing! | |||
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"And his name was buck which didn't help shouting that out while trying to catch him I think you win the confessions at the moment however the day is young.. . I thought I better stop as I was beginning to look bad And making them up! This can double up as my confession, not believing! " . Ooh ye of little faith | |||
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