FabSwingers.com forum: Ikea meet

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So, it's a strange one but it has, for some reason, caught my imagination. Just to push the limits and see how far it's possible to get and how sneaky you can be and still get away with it. Anyone brave enough to tackle this challenge with me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*wants to make a teeny tiny pencil joke so bad*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"*wants to make a teeny tiny pencil joke so bad*"

Haha, more like a sharpies diameter let's be realistic! :'D

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I think the first challenge would be actually finding each other inside there.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

To meet at ikea?! I've met loads of people at ikea.... Hardly a challenge....tgeyre bug fucking blue buildings... Can't miss em

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

Personally, I don't think it's ok to play in public spaces like that. It's basically putting customers and staff in a sexual situation that they've not consented to, and I don't think that's acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Families go to Ikea. With kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's an Ikea idea.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To meet at ikea?! I've met loads of people at ikea.... Hardly a challenge....tgeyre bug fucking blue buildings... Can't miss em "

Meeting someone there is one thing, the degree of mischief you get up to inside is a different matter entirely

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

I've been on the shelf so long.

Grüntvig.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

they do a nice breakfast

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I one of the wardrobes, fucking away when Asif and his new bride open the door to check the depth.

That kind of meet?

Or, under a stack of cushion pillows, getting your cock sucked, when Maud, from the WI, picks up a few and accidentally grabs your knob?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"they do a nice breakfast"

Are you angling for sausage jokes?

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

There's always the handy tape measures to catch out liars.

And if you ask a guy to bag-up, they can choose between blue or yellow...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

45 minutes in and no mention of meatballs?

You're letting me down here guys.

Whilst I'm not against being flirty in public people have a point about how inappropriate it could be.

OK just said meet though, so we can assume he meant something a little low key..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been on the shelf so long.

Grüntvig.

My favourite post of yours, ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"45 minutes in and no mention of meatballs?

You're letting me down here guys.

Whilst I'm not against being flirty in public people have a point about how inappropriate it could be.

OK just said meet though, so we can assume he meant something a little low key.. "

Allen key!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hell I'd be up for that at the newly opened Sheffield store.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been on the shelf so long.

Grüntvig.

Disgraceful. Get your arse up to Liverpool immediately. I'll show you the wonders of the Warrington branch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeh but Sheffield has two floors.

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"I've been on the shelf so long.

Grüntvig.

Disgraceful. Get your arse up to Liverpool immediately. I'll show you the wonders of the Warrington branch

You'll need a trolley pal, I'm on aisle 23

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been on the shelf so long.

Grüntvig.

Disgraceful. Get your arse up to Liverpool immediately. I'll show you the wonders of the Warrington branch

You'll need a trolley pal, I'm on aisle 23"

Dying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its fun to hide in a wardrobe, wait a few minutes and then climb out saying "bye Mr Tumnus!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its fun to hide in a wardrobe, wait a few minutes and then climb out saying "bye Mr Tumnus!""

Would you trust the beds op? If you want to try a new position, I dare you to give her a 6 page paper instructions on how to do it

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Didn't some people hide in the cupboards until closing time, then spent the night in the store?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Didn't some people hide in the cupboards until closing time, then spent the night in the store?"

His meet didn't turn up then?

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Pick us up some new tea towels yeah OP?

Nice one.

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I had a social meet in Ikea once but that was as far as it went.

You pick up all sorts that you don't need in Ikea.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Hell I'd be up for that at the newly opened Sheffield store.

Ooh I haven't been yet. I'm not meeting anyone there though,Ikea is serious shopping and not a place for random meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh please for the love of god noooooo!

I HATE Ikea - it's torturous - looking at pointless shit that no one needs - and spending money on shit food to have a break from the monotonous torture of deciding if you need a spatula or not

Screaming kids and bored teenagers.

It's the last place on earth that makes me horny!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I like playing sex toy or kitchen utensil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be careful who your meeting people, bound to have a screw loose and be no good to anyone after 10 minutes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hell I'd be up for that at the newly opened Sheffield store.

Ooh I haven't been yet. I'm not meeting anyone there though,Ikea is serious shopping and not a place for random meets

The meatballs are tasty there.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Nice Swedish meatballs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So, it's a strange one but it has, for some reason, caught my imagination. Just to push the limits and see how far it's possible to get and how sneaky you can be and still get away with it. Anyone brave enough to tackle this challenge with me?

You could use the bunk beds for safe sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theres a big ikea near me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Theres a big ikea near me"

And Chams round the corner. Why on earth would anyone want to meet for a fuck in Ikea when you are so close to Chams.

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By *ucky1Man
over a year ago

a straightjacket

"I had a social meet in Ikea once but that was as far as it went.

You pick up all sorts that you don't need in Ikea. "

Didn't realise IKEA now sold STI's

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

"they do a nice breakfast

Are you angling for sausage jokes?"

You don't angle for sausages, you angle for fish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meatballs, prawn open sandwich and a bottomless cup of coffee ~ cheap meet all round

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Theres a big ikea near me"

It's not the size you know

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I avoid the place if at all possible lol.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Anyone got a flat pack they need a hand erecting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone got a flat pack they need a hand erecting?"

Now there's an offer!

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

"Meatballs, prawn open sandwich and a bottomless cup of coffee ~ cheap meet all round

Meatballs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone got a flat pack they need a hand erecting?"

No but if you’re going I do need a bumper pack of tea lights

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

Must remember this for my next message... "Fancy putting together a good flat-pack?"

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I'd meet for a social at Ikea. You can learn a lot about people from how they navigate Ikea, especially the Marketplace.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love jumping up & down on the beds in Ikea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh please for the love of god noooooo!

I HATE Ikea - it's torturous - looking at pointless shit that no one needs - and spending money on shit food to have a break from the monotonous torture of deciding if you need a spatula or not

Screaming kids and bored teenagers.

It's the last place on earth that makes me horny!"

Isn't this a quote from Fight Club?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh please for the love of god noooooo!

I HATE Ikea - it's torturous - looking at pointless shit that no one needs - and spending money on shit food to have a break from the monotonous torture of deciding if you need a spatula or not

Screaming kids and bored teenagers.

It's the last place on earth that makes me horny!

Isn't this a quote from Fight Club?"

Haha no

But Edward Nortons charachter does say something similar.

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"I'd meet for a social at Ikea. You can learn a lot about people from how they navigate Ikea, especially the Marketplace.

As someone that has recently purchased a lot of furniture from the place I was always drawn to the room displays showing examples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There meatballs and gravy are lush, that's the only reason I went there lol.

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Oh please for the love of god noooooo!

I HATE Ikea - it's torturous - looking at pointless shit that no one needs - and spending money on shit food to have a break from the monotonous torture of deciding if you need a spatula or not

Screaming kids and bored teenagers.

It's the last place on earth that makes me horny!"

The Lancashire Hotpots did a song called "I fear Ikea"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMhywI7ZznI

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Omg! I love their meatballs!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds a good way to get a free membership to sex offenders register. Who knew Ikea offered that service these days .

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Just been to Ikea

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Just been to Ikea

Did you partake in the meatballs and were you able to find what you went in for?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Just been to Ikea

Did you partake in the meatballs and were you able to find what you went in for?

Are you using meatballs euphemistically?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually go once or twice a year, just wonder around for a couple of hours then give somebody £200-300 without seemingly buying anything! But, then the best bit, the hot dogs, must admit once had six!

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

"Just been to Ikea

Did you partake in the meatballs and were you able to find what you went in for?

Are you using meatballs euphemistically? "

It wasn't actually my intention...

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Just been to Ikea

Did you partake in the meatballs and were you able to find what you went in for?

Nope no meatballs,my daughter presses all the buttons on the machine that asks you if you found what you were looking for,daft devil that she is!

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

There is a woman on here naughty ni..... A lot of her pics are in Ikea very good they are as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been on the shelf so long.

Grüntvig.

Disgraceful. Get your arse up to Liverpool immediately. I'll show you the wonders of the Warrington branch

You'll need a trolley pal, I'm on aisle 23"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I one of the wardrobes, fucking away when Asif and his new bride open the door to check the depth.

That kind of meet?

Or, under a stack of cushion pillows, getting your cock sucked, when Maud, from the WI, picks up a few and accidentally grabs your knob?"

Are Asif and his new bride members? If not he should not be 'xhecking the depth!.' !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love ikea

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford

What about John Lewis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

id get lost - somehow the rebel in me makes me ignore the directions and often do it in reverse

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

I'd meet for a social and go on to chams after.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Personally, I don't think it's ok to play in public spaces like that. It's basically putting customers and staff in a sexual situation that they've not consented to, and I don't think that's acceptable."

Agree

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