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A sentence to ruin a meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just wondering what sentences would ruin a meet in the funniest way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't kiss you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your not much of a looker are you. Your sister is stunning though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you got any single female friends that would be interested in me.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I'm on the sex offenders register

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Sorry my pics were fake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit smelly

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By *TrainMan
over a year ago

London

I “know” your dad

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Wow. Is that your Mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your bigger then in your photo love...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

antibiotics will clear that up

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

I’m going to ruin you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'll have to be quick, got to meet the wife in half an hour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your wife was a better shag

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I’ll use one I had earlier.

Can we do double anal

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By *atcherwankerMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Help me get this sofa into my van?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Here’s one I used earlier!”

Whilst sheathing his weapon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yea it's supposed to be green

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dya want some crackers?

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull

Don’t touch that for god’s sake!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m going to ruin you "

This...

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

My dad is joining us soon he just wants a little chat with you if that's ok...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you marry me?

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

It’s fine she can join us she is just my step mum

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By *easing_twoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol, Thornbury

When I said I can acomadate I ment I have a camper van... well a van with a mattress in the back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The burning sensation will clear up in a week or so if you slap yogurt on it

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

Sorry....I thought you knew what "pegging" was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to destroy your pussy was one of them.

We think it really put the guy off when we started laughing uncontrollably and couldn't stop.

Not one of our successful meets!

We've probably spoiled one or two because the Mrs. Won't kiss, but then that's boundaries for ya!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When are you going to stop fingering me and start fucking me, oh... You where fucking me

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

I wish my wife/partner/gf would do that.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Still waiting for test results

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

I gotta be back home by 9pm... You know how it is when you're tagged & on a curfew...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mum????

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Can I smell your fanny? No, Well in that case it must be your feet..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The chilli sauce? Well it's better than ky it lubricates and tingles

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

So, pleased to finally meet you Lisa... Helen?..... Tracey!... Michelle???... I'll get my coat...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I wear your knickers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I wear your knickers?"

Can you wear my knickers?

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole


"Can I wear your knickers?

Can you wear my knickers? "

Can you wear my mums knickers?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle


"Can I wear your knickers?

Can you wear my knickers?

Can you wear my mums knickers?"

Can you wear my dad’s knickers

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By *layfull pairingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Is that a wedding dress ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I wear your knickers?

Can you wear my knickers?

Can you wear my mums knickers?

Can you wear my dad’s knickers "

Can you wear my wife's knickers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I wear your knickers?

Can you wear my knickers?

Can you wear my mums knickers?

Can you wear my dad’s knickers

Can you wear my wife's knickers "

Can you wear my wife's knickers, she's only been dead a couple of months

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I wear your knickers?

Can you wear my knickers?

Can you wear my mums knickers?

Can you wear my dad’s knickers

Can you wear my wife's knickers

Can you wear my wife's knickers, she's only been dead a couple of months "

I killed her with a frying pan,she's buried in my garden wanna see?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not HIV+, are you? I don't want that again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello I'm SteelHeels.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Hello I'm SteelHeels."

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I've just relaid the patio...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You didn't cum? Well I've made women cum before, your cunt must be broken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm on the sex offenders register"

Fook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm awaiting a message from my first meet choice.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Those aren't genital warts I just have a 'bumpy' penis.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

Is it ok if I rub lard all over your scrotum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's not how my mum said you did it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The pills have done wonders for my crabs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can my dad watch!

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By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Really...i don't mean to be rude but it definitely looked bigger on your profile..

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

What's that fishy smell?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you look like with your teeth in??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want me to take your fishnets back to the trawler for you?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"What do you look like with your teeth in?? "

Where are my teeth?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mummy will approve of you. *takes urn out of bag*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just give me a few minutes till the crab cream drys

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Your not what I expected

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I was wearing a condom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is that a wedding dress ? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only have instant coffee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not as tight as your mum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What? This sore on my lips?

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton


"I won't kiss you."

Though a fantastic sentence when you have a horrid bout of man flu!!!

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

Can my the rest of my family watch ???

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By *imandher84Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

Can you taste anything......this actually happened mid going down on the lady....

.

.

.

..was my reaction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi this is my mum.

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By *ild_oatsMan
over a year ago

the land of saints & sinners

I'm fairly sure its not contagious....

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By *hinypants77Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Wanna see some puppies?

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

would you like to come back to mine for some fava beans & a nice Chianti?....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus loves you!

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By *rongstantineWoman
over a year ago

hull

[Removed by poster at 05/01/18 17:27:56]

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By *rongstantineWoman
over a year ago

hull


"Help me get this sofa into my van? "

Buffalo Bill? "What are you, a ten?" 3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know I'm getting the strangest sense of deja vu.

Have we met before?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you pregnant??

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester


"When I said I can acomadate I ment I have a camper van... well a van with a mattress in the back"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be right back. I have to take the biggest dump.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*sniffs the air*... was that you or me?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Ah it's only thrush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like strangulation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wondering what sentences would ruin a meet in the funniest way. "

Can I bring my mam to meet ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll be right back. I have to take the biggest dump. "

I still wait for you x

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Quick chop my dads picking me up at 2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit! Mum and dad are home!

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

"Mother made me do it..."

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Erm, yes.. its a rare form of leprosy...

please, keep the tip..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why have I got a shovel, black bags and gaffer tape in my boot..I'll show you later...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/01/18 18:46:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit small

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was looking at your pics I noticed that you have a really tiny penis and your so ugly but I felt sorry for you so I thought I would meet you here in this restaurant so you can pay for my meal and then you can go.Bye go on go quick before anyone sees that face of yours by me x

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

yeh, my real name is Piers Morgan...

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Sorry for my anal seepage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Super. You made it on time. The other 37 chaps I invited will be here in a mo.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"Shit! Mum and dad are home! "

I have a real experience of that.

I must have been around 18 and had bumped into an old school friend on a night out.

We finished up back at hers and she told me that her parents would be out until very late. Needless to say they came home early and, as I was banging the 7 bells out of her, we didn't hear them come through the front door.

As they opened the living room door I can only imagine the sight (and sound) that greeted them.

My naked arse pounding away like something from the last verse of the engineers dream and their precious (only) daughter screaming like a banshee.

Well that was the end of that. They quickly left the room without saying a word. I got dressed and fully expected to get a slap as I negotiated my way from the living room to the front door.

As I opened the door to the hallway they were both stood there with a look of shock on their faces. I quickly did my "time for a sharp exit" routine and said something like goodnight as I legged it down the hallway.

I've forgotten many shags I had at that time but I will never forget that one. 100% true story BTW.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Didn't realise you were pregnant

Oops sorry your not

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By *owdyboy 890Man
over a year ago

Country West

Ah my ex has just arrived here..still in love with her xx

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

Ewww or Yuck

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"I only have instant coffee.

"

No, no, NO! Don't even joke about that!

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

why does it taste of shit?

It shouldn't, the previous meet pissing on it should have washed it clean..

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

What would you like to drink? By the way, you couldn't lend me £20 could you?

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Is it okay if I live stream our meet?

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

Not got my test results back yet but I'm sure they'll come back ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let us pray

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton


"When I said I can acomadate I ment I have a camper van... well a van with a mattress in the back

"

We have had this in a message before

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton


"Let us pray"

lmao

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Is that it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come on grandad, get in the game and push back lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your bigger then in your photo love... "

Yep I've had that, after I'd sucked his cock. Needless to say I didn't see him again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your shoe laces are undone and while your bending over I will just lube my rubber fist up x

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

I know we agreed to a play meet but what I meant to say was that it's a social

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Ah fuck you are ugly

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By *queekyCheesyCouple
over a year ago

newark

I haven't got condoms but I'm clean.. (and shortly walking out the door)

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By *ncandiladoCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

The result of my STD Test wasn't good news!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh you've found it, the last guy that shagged me the condom came off

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By *htcMan
over a year ago

MK

we like to chat for a few hours before anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah shit my piles are giving my arse tooth ache

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m going to ruin you

This... "

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By *rongstantineWoman
over a year ago

hull

"Don't cross the streams!"

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

[Removed by poster at 05/01/18 22:25:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does this hanky smell of Chloroform?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Ghostbusters role play would NOT ruin a meet for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you have anywhere I can plug this fistomatic 5000 into?

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea


"Just wondering what sentences would ruin a meet in the funniest way. "

Nun i don't think.

Id be to happy that i had a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I'm done.

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Just wondering what sentences would ruin a meet in the funniest way. "

Not sure - but a few days ago I was chatting to this rather lovely guy a lot and all was going great until he asked me when I was free to meet! I mentioned it might be February and he disappeared into the ether - so I guess that could ruin a meet!

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

well what the fuck was you expecting? It quite clearly says on my profile Im blue and a fecking narwhal! Now stick your finger in my blowhole...

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral


"We'll have to be quick, got to meet the wife in half an hour "
Have had that happen so I threw him out lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven’t I met your mum before you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

are you going to go and get changed

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

As your photos showed more of others, I'd assumed they'd be here, as I was attracted to them.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's just like poppers, it's chloroform, here breathe in

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By *is vixen at playCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

Do you mind if we just turn the condom inside out?

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By *oftandGentle2Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Your sisters a better fuck than you! Lol

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By *DSM - CUCKOLD - COUPLECouple
over a year ago

manchester

All tall are you?..... So I know how wide to dig the shallow grave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I said I can acomadate I ment I have a camper van... well a van with a mattress in the back

We have had this in a message before "

So have we. When I declined I got a follow up message saying "it's a very nice camper van."

Felt like I'd really hurt his feelings!

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By *oiretblancCouple
over a year ago

London

"Hi...I love black pussy"

So far I have been told this 8 times...sometimes actually as they were fucking me!

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

[Removed by poster at 06/01/18 04:52:52]

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Oh damn I seem to have left my wallet at home.

Any chance you could pay us into the club.

I will get it next time

OH NO YOU WONT!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ghostbusters role play would NOT ruin a meet for me "

Can I slime you?

Are you a sex god? (In the voice of Zuel.

I came, I saw, I fucked your ass.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I used Lynx deoderant just for you...

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"I used Lynx deoderant just for you... "

I use lynx deonderant all the time

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"I used Lynx deoderant just for you...

I use lynx deonderant all the time "

At least you didn’t say Brut or Hai Karate

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

You're out of bog roll love !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just wondering what sentences would ruin a meet in the funniest way.

Not sure - but a few days ago I was chatting to this rather lovely guy a lot and all was going great until he asked me when I was free to meet! I mentioned it might be February and he disappeared into the ether - so I guess that could ruin a meet! "

What a dickhead!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Just wondering what sentences would ruin a meet in the funniest way.

Not sure - but a few days ago I was chatting to this rather lovely guy a lot and all was going great until he asked me when I was free to meet! I mentioned it might be February and he disappeared into the ether - so I guess that could ruin a meet!

What a dickhead!"

He’s hot though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

any idea what these spots are on my willy :-0 xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't like cake

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just wondering what sentences would ruin a meet in the funniest way.

Not sure - but a few days ago I was chatting to this rather lovely guy a lot and all was going great until he asked me when I was free to meet! I mentioned it might be February and he disappeared into the ether - so I guess that could ruin a meet!

What a dickhead!

He’s hot though! "

Hot enough to forgive this behaviour?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"any idea what these spots are on my willy :-0 xx"

Hahaha

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Just wondering what sentences would ruin a meet in the funniest way.

Not sure - but a few days ago I was chatting to this rather lovely guy a lot and all was going great until he asked me when I was free to meet! I mentioned it might be February and he disappeared into the ether - so I guess that could ruin a meet!

What a dickhead!

He’s hot though!

Hot enough to forgive this behaviour? "

Yeah! He rocks the ‘my black t-shirt just rode up above my tits all by itself ‘look. And besides - when we’re not giggling, eating, drinking and shagging (LOTS of shagging), I think I’d quite to learn to play the xylophone on his abs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope I die from shagging, like my grandad, and not from impaling, like grandma.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in yet?

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By *ncandiladoCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

Are you sure you're at the right address? The guy that we messaged was handsome and had a big cock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi mum shall we just kid on were strangers meeting for the first time?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

My mate has bet me I couldn't get 5 infections before the day's finished - she lost, I'm in double digits already!

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

I've just got out of prison.

God I am gagging for a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is it okay if I live stream our meet? "

I've actually had that done to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Smell this rag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about those brown marks on my cock, me and my dad are very close.

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes


"Shit! Mum and dad are home!

I have a real experience of that.

I must have been around 18 and had bumped into an old school friend on a night out.

We finished up back at hers and she told me that her parents would be out until very late. Needless to say they came home early and, as I was banging the 7 bells out of her, we didn't hear them come through the front door.

As they opened the living room door I can only imagine the sight (and sound) that greeted them.

My naked arse pounding away like something from the last verse of the engineers dream and their precious (only) daughter screaming like a banshee.

Well that was the end of that. They quickly left the room without saying a word. I got dressed and fully expected to get a slap as I negotiated my way from the living room to the front door.

As I opened the door to the hallway they were both stood there with a look of shock on their faces. I quickly did my "time for a sharp exit" routine and said something like goodnight as I legged it down the hallway.

I've forgotten many shags I had at that time but I will never forget that one. 100% true story BTW. "

I was 18 and my first gf was 16...I was actually inside her when mum walked into her bedroom and I just stopped and feigned sleep. She said “Is he dead?” and had a fairly long conversation with her daughter before leaving the bedroom...I think I got away with it...

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By *itch and TwatCouple
over a year ago

Near Rushden Lakes


"I used Lynx deoderant just for you...

I use lynx deonderant all the time "

Dark Temptation - chocolate mmm

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

It’s only a few warts you’ll be ok

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By *arry WindsorMan
over a year ago

Heaton Park Manchester


"Is it ok if I rub lard all over your scrotum "

Why have you run out of chip fat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aren’t we related?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Oh dear, test results came back positive

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish


"Oh dear, test results came back positive "

One of the few times that a ‘positive ‘ is a negative!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you don't mind but I've got piles lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it in yet

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Was that a scab that just fell off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum's the same age as you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you mind if i do you from behind cos your wonky eye kinda puts me off

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