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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing." No joke and a joint bank account | |||
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"Best thing you can do is support her, and be ready to pick up the pieces IF things go tits up.. it might all work out Ok? " This x | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account " What are your objections? I think it's a bit soon myself but I'm assuming she's an adult and that he's risking as much as she is. | |||
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"You don't. You sit there wait be happy for her... And if she ever needs it be there to pick up the pieces..." She knows ill always be there to pick up the peices | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account What are your objections? I think it's a bit soon myself but I'm assuming she's an adult and that he's risking as much as she is. " Shes 21, My objections are its abit soon and with a joint bank account with both sets of wages going in gives him chance to clear her out! Maybe just me bein cynical | |||
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"Is he a new person to her or has been around but not a bf for long? Geeky x" Hes an ex | |||
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"Is he a new person to her or has been around but not a bf for long? Geeky x Hes an ex " So she's known him longer than a month? | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account What are your objections? I think it's a bit soon myself but I'm assuming she's an adult and that he's risking as much as she is. Shes 21, My objections are its abit soon and with a joint bank account with both sets of wages going in gives him chance to clear her out! Maybe just me bein cynical" I'd feel concerned for a friend of mine in that situation too but his friends might be worrying that she'll do the same to him. Where did the money for the house deposit come from? | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account What are your objections? I think it's a bit soon myself but I'm assuming she's an adult and that he's risking as much as she is. Shes 21, My objections are its abit soon and with a joint bank account with both sets of wages going in gives him chance to clear her out! Maybe just me bein cynical I'd feel concerned for a friend of mine in that situation too but his friends might be worrying that she'll do the same to him. Where did the money for the house deposit come from?" joint split i think | |||
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"Is he a new person to her or has been around but not a bf for long? Geeky x Hes an ex So she's known him longer than a month?" they were together in school, split up lost contact, now back together | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account " Joint bank account means nothing, I open them all the time all over Europe when working on joint projects. It's how the money goes in that matters. But if they can buy a house in less than a month they got some serious magic going on. Think you should congratulate your friend. | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account What are your objections? I think it's a bit soon myself but I'm assuming she's an adult and that he's risking as much as she is. Shes 21, My objections are its abit soon and with a joint bank account with both sets of wages going in gives him chance to clear her out! Maybe just me bein cynical I'd feel concerned for a friend of mine in that situation too but his friends might be worrying that she'll do the same to him. Where did the money for the house deposit come from? joint split i think " Well on the face of it all seems above board. You have to accept that she knows what she's doing and butt out I think. If it turns out that she doesn't you can step in. | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account Joint bank account means nothing, I open them all the time all over Europe when working on joint projects. It's how the money goes in that matters. But if they can buy a house in less than a month they got some serious magic going on. Think you should congratulate your friend. " I want to know the name of the conveyance for if we move again. I've known it take that long to get the list of contents back from a vendor! | |||
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"no tell her the truth,she will thank you in the long run shows you care" What truth? | |||
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"no tell her the truth,she will thank you in the long run shows you care" Ive told her what i think about the area shes brought the house in! Yea didnt go well | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account What are your objections? I think it's a bit soon myself but I'm assuming she's an adult and that he's risking as much as she is. Shes 21, My objections are its abit soon and with a joint bank account with both sets of wages going in gives him chance to clear her out! Maybe just me bein cynical" It works both ways, but if I am honest I would be thinking the same as you, all of it seems pretty quick | |||
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"If both sets of wages are going in, she could equally clear him out. Jointly owned property is going to be a hell of a lot more valuable than a months wages. Is it her interests that concern you or yours?" Are you trying to say im concerned for her because i want her myself If so thats so far off the mark | |||
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"no tell her the truth,she will thank you in the long run shows you care Ive told her what i think about the area shes brought the house in! Yea didnt go well" Then she's obviously not interested in your opinion, at 21 she knows or think she knows her own mind and telling her you think she's wrong will push her away. And as others have said buying a house in a month is seriously impressive or doubtful. | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account Joint bank account means nothing, I open them all the time all over Europe when working on joint projects. It's how the money goes in that matters. " Or how the money goes out, both would be liable for any debts run up in it | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account Joint bank account means nothing, I open them all the time all over Europe when working on joint projects. It's how the money goes in that matters. But if they can buy a house in less than a month they got some serious magic going on. Think you should congratulate your friend. I want to know the name of the conveyance for if we move again. I've known it take that long to get the list of contents back from a vendor!" I moved into my house 5 weeks after I put my old house on the market. It’s possible!  | |||
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"Its very difficult to judge if you don't know someone but if you do then expressing subtle concern is no bad thing. You know the person concerned, how they are feeling/reacting and will know how to broach things." Im about as subtle as a brick!! | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing. No joke and a joint bank account Joint bank account means nothing, I open them all the time all over Europe when working on joint projects. It's how the money goes in that matters. But if they can buy a house in less than a month they got some serious magic going on. Think you should congratulate your friend. I want to know the name of the conveyance for if we move again. I've known it take that long to get the list of contents back from a vendor! I moved into my house 5 weeks after I put my old house on the market. It’s possible! "Yes I know it's possible it's just never happened to us  | |||
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"Its very difficult to judge if you don't know someone but if you do then expressing subtle concern is no bad thing. You know the person concerned, how they are feeling/reacting and will know how to broach things. Im about as subtle as a brick!!" You are probably more subtle than you think, you asked for advice which shows a degree of subtlety. | |||
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"How do you tell your bestfriend that you think shes movin to fast with her bf? Shes been with him a month, already got a joint bank account and just brought a house" You can't do more than express concern and then be there for her. She may be living her dream! | |||
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"Its very difficult to judge if you don't know someone but if you do then expressing subtle concern is no bad thing. You know the person concerned, how they are feeling/reacting and will know how to broach things. Im about as subtle as a brick!! You are probably more subtle than you think, you asked for advice which shows a degree of subtlety." Mate everythin i say is misconstrued | |||
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"no tell her the truth,she will thank you in the long run shows you care What truth?" The truth is OP's statement | |||
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"no tell her the truth,she will thank you in the long run shows you care What truth?The truth is OP's statement" That's not truth it's opinion. | |||
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"If she’s your best friend, she will understand it’s you worrying for her. If she doesn’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend as you think? Maybe approach it by asking her if she’s considered all the pitfalls? Tell her you just don’t want to see her get hurt & if she’s sure, then you either have to disapprove & walk away or stand by her & support her "Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into Its about half a mile away from the railway line And its got no central heating | |||
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"If she’s your best friend, she will understand it’s you worrying for her. If she doesn’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend as you think? Maybe approach it by asking her if she’s considered all the pitfalls? Tell her you just don’t want to see her get hurt & if she’s sure, then you either have to disapprove & walk away or stand by her & support her
Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into
Its about half a mile away from the railway line
And its got no central heating "Well the heating can be remedied and thousands of people live near railways. I think you might be worrying unnecessarily about the house. | |||
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"How do you tell your bestfriend that you think shes movin to fast with her bf? Shes been with him a month, already got a joint bank account and just brought a house" Say it how you see it, as in the above lines and then leave well alone. She can then choose to listen & heed or carry on regardless. Either way you’ve expressed your concerns.. | |||
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"If she’s your best friend, she will understand it’s you worrying for her. If she doesn’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend as you think? Maybe approach it by asking her if she’s considered all the pitfalls? Tell her you just don’t want to see her get hurt & if she’s sure, then you either have to disapprove & walk away or stand by her & support her
Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into
Its about half a mile away from the railway line
And its got no central heating
Well the heating can be remedied and thousands of people live near railways. I think you might be worrying unnecessarily about the house."yes but theres a high population of rats by railways, then theres the noise and yes it can be remedid if the have a gas supply | |||
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"If she’s your best friend, she will understand it’s you worrying for her. If she doesn’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend as you think? Maybe approach it by asking her if she’s considered all the pitfalls? Tell her you just don’t want to see her get hurt & if she’s sure, then you either have to disapprove & walk away or stand by her & support her
Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into
Its about half a mile away from the railway line
And its got no central heating "I was brought up in a house with no central heating and it’s not harmed me! Buy her a heater as a housewarming gift  | |||
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"If she’s your best friend, she will understand it’s you worrying for her. If she doesn’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend as you think? Maybe approach it by asking her if she’s considered all the pitfalls? Tell her you just don’t want to see her get hurt & if she’s sure, then you either have to disapprove & walk away or stand by her & support her
Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into
Its about half a mile away from the railway line
And its got no central heating
Well the heating can be remedied and thousands of people live near railways. I think you might be worrying unnecessarily about the house. yes but theres a high population of rats by railways, then theres the noise and yes it can be remedid if the have a gas supply"Electric heating. You're putting obstacles in the way. Be pleased for her happiness. | |||
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"If she’s your best friend, she will understand it’s you worrying for her. If she doesn’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend as you think? Maybe approach it by asking her if she’s considered all the pitfalls? Tell her you just don’t want to see her get hurt & if she’s sure, then you either have to disapprove & walk away or stand by her & support her
Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into
Its about half a mile away from the railway line
And its got no central heating
I was brought up in a house with no central heating and it’s not harmed me! Buy her a heater as a housewarming gift "will literally be a house warmin gift | |||
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"Very impressive that a 21 year old has enough deposit to buy a house. " If i told you the area youd see how much she would need | |||
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"If she’s your Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into Its about half a mile away from the railway line And its got no central heating " Seriously... a chance to improve the house value by installing heating, and Buckingham palace is less than half a mile from a railway line. My advice is that as a friend you should be excited and happy for her. Under 25 owns a house, in a relationship joint account to pay the mortgage from. This is seriously on the up, being negative will cost you both a friend. And spoil her happiness for no good reason. | |||
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"If she’s your best friend, she will understand it’s you worrying for her. If she doesn’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend as you think? Maybe approach it by asking her if she’s considered all the pitfalls? Tell her you just don’t want to see her get hurt & if she’s sure, then you either have to disapprove & walk away or stand by her & support her
Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into
Its about half a mile away from the railway line
And its got no central heating
Well the heating can be remedied and thousands of people live near railways. I think you might be worrying unnecessarily about the house. yes but theres a high population of rats by railways, then theres the noise and yes it can be remedid if the have a gas supply"I once lived so close to a railway line that I could hear the station announcements, half a mile away and you wouldn't even notice it. And certainly not be bothered by rats because of it | |||
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"My ex husbands best friend is a girl but he is also deeply in love with her (very complicated) and anytime she does something he is always concerned about her. It’s lovely you are concerned about your friend and yes it does sound like she is moving to quick but it’s not with a complete stranger and as a friend you have to be there at the end of it all goes tits up. Op do you think of her more as a friend (apologies if this has been covered) Geeky x" I love her to peices seriously id do anythin for her But not in thatway x | |||
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"If she’s your best friend, she will understand it’s you worrying for her. If she doesn’t, maybe she’s not as good a friend as you think? Maybe approach it by asking her if she’s considered all the pitfalls? Tell her you just don’t want to see her get hurt & if she’s sure, then you either have to disapprove & walk away or stand by her & support her
Ive told her tonight the cons of the house shes movin into
Its about half a mile away from the railway line
And its got no central heating
Well the heating can be remedied and thousands of people live near railways. I think you might be worrying unnecessarily about the house. yes but theres a high population of rats by railways, then theres the noise and yes it can be remedid if the have a gas supply"Our first house was a state. But these little niggles aren't really for you to worry about. We live near the marshes and have plenty of rats . Step back a bit if you can, she's probably really excited about the whole thing | |||
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"My ex husbands best friend is a girl but he is also deeply in love with her (very complicated) and anytime she does something he is always concerned about her. It’s lovely you are concerned about your friend and yes it does sound like she is moving to quick but it’s not with a complete stranger and as a friend you have to be there at the end of it all goes tits up. Op do you think of her more as a friend (apologies if this has been covered) Geeky x I love her to peices seriously id do anythin for her But not in thatway x" I think you need to just take a step back and be there for her ‘if’ it all goes wrong. Because she will need her best friend and will need someone who won’t say ‘I told you so’ too Geeky x | |||
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"My ex husbands best friend is a girl but he is also deeply in love with her (very complicated) and anytime she does something he is always concerned about her. It’s lovely you are concerned about your friend and yes it does sound like she is moving to quick but it’s not with a complete stranger and as a friend you have to be there at the end of it all goes tits up. Op do you think of her more as a friend (apologies if this has been covered) Geeky x I love her to peices seriously id do anythin for her But not in thatway x" If you;d do anything for her, why can;t you support her? Or be happy for her? And if it goes wrong, be there for her without saying "I told you so". | |||
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"What's the worst can happen If they split up the house will be 50 50 Hopefully made a profit to Could be a good investment for her/him" if theyre not married, the 50/50 thing can end up a lot more complicated! | |||
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Oh, amd if it does go tits up, don't say I told you so | |||
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"What's the worst can happen If they split up the house will be 50 50 Hopefully made a profit to Could be a good investment for her/him if theyre not married, the 50/50 thing can end up a lot more complicated!" ive tried telling her this! Shes 21 and thinks she knows it all tho | |||
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"What's the worst can happen If they split up the house will be 50 50 Hopefully made a profit to Could be a good investment for her/him if theyre not married, the 50/50 thing can end up a lot more complicated! ive tried telling her this! Shes 21 and thinks she knows it all tho " Not necessarily. You declare as joint tenants or tenants in common terms drawn up by the solicitor before purchase. | |||
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"Smiling @ no central heating...in my dayyyy the only heating in our house was a coal fire that my mum had to go start before we got out of bed!!! She will still be able to get warm, probably in bed having sex with the new boyfriend if the rest of the house is too cold " ice on the inside of the bedroom windows. | |||
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"Well if it's already done there's nothing you can do. You have the talk before it happens, not after. All of my friends get the truth from me, I'm not going to soften things up for them, may as well say it as it is and if they don't like it it's their choice but at least they know I'm being honest. I'd also like to think none of my friends were daft enough to buy a house with someone after a month of being with them, but if they were I'd try and put them off massively. " the contracts havent been signed yet | |||
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"Smiling @ no central heating...in my dayyyy the only heating in our house was a coal fire that my mum had to go start before we got out of bed!!! She will still be able to get warm, probably in bed having sex with the new boyfriend if the rest of the house is too cold
ice on the inside of the bedroom windows. "Coats as blankets | |||
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"Smiling @ no central heating...in my dayyyy the only heating in our house was a coal fire that my mum had to go start before we got out of bed!!! She will still be able to get warm, probably in bed having sex with the new boyfriend if the rest of the house is too cold
ice on the inside of the bedroom windows.
Coats as blankets "Yes! My mum used to creep in in the night and put coats on top of our blankets and in the morning we couldn't flaming move | |||
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"Well if it's already done there's nothing you can do. You have the talk before it happens, not after. All of my friends get the truth from me, I'm not going to soften things up for them, may as well say it as it is and if they don't like it it's their choice but at least they know I'm being honest. I'd also like to think none of my friends were daft enough to buy a house with someone after a month of being with them, but if they were I'd try and put them off massively. " I didnt soften it wen i said theres the noise by the railway and the rats off the bank, | |||
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"Well if it's already done there's nothing you can do. You have the talk before it happens, not after. All of my friends get the truth from me, I'm not going to soften things up for them, may as well say it as it is and if they don't like it it's their choice but at least they know I'm being honest. I'd also like to think none of my friends were daft enough to buy a house with someone after a month of being with them, but if they were I'd try and put them off massively. I didnt soften it wen i said theres the noise by the railway and the rats off the bank, " I had no issues with rats when the railway track was at the bottom of the garden where i used to live in 2003 and train nose you get used to it like road traffic | |||
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"Well if it's already done there's nothing you can do. You have the talk before it happens, not after. All of my friends get the truth from me, I'm not going to soften things up for them, may as well say it as it is and if they don't like it it's their choice but at least they know I'm being honest. I'd also like to think none of my friends were daft enough to buy a house with someone after a month of being with them, but if they were I'd try and put them off massively. I didnt soften it wen i said theres the noise by the railway and the rats off the bank, I had no issues with rats when the railway track was at the bottom of the garden where i used to live in 2003 and train nose you get used to it like road traffic " Im throwing up obstacles cuz im tryna slow it down | |||
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"And they've bought a house in a month!? That's seriously impressive conveyancing." I thought That too, took me 4 months! And that was quick! | |||
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"Well if it's already done there's nothing you can do. You have the talk before it happens, not after. All of my friends get the truth from me, I'm not going to soften things up for them, may as well say it as it is and if they don't like it it's their choice but at least they know I'm being honest. I'd also like to think none of my friends were daft enough to buy a house with someone after a month of being with them, but if they were I'd try and put them off massively. I didnt soften it wen i said theres the noise by the railway and the rats off the bank, I had no issues with rats when the railway track was at the bottom of the garden where i used to live in 2003 and train nose you get used to it like road traffic Im throwing up obstacles cuz im tryna slow it down" You know that opposition only makes people more obstinate. How about accepting and respecting your friend's choice. Supporting and helping her and her partner because that way the relationship has more chance of lasting and you have two good friends where previously you only had one. I understand your reservations but you're a friend not a parent. | |||
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"Well if it's already done there's nothing you can do. You have the talk before it happens, not after. All of my friends get the truth from me, I'm not going to soften things up for them, may as well say it as it is and if they don't like it it's their choice but at least they know I'm being honest. I'd also like to think none of my friends were daft enough to buy a house with someone after a month of being with them, but if they were I'd try and put them off massively. I didnt soften it wen i said theres the noise by the railway and the rats off the bank, I had no issues with rats when the railway track was at the bottom of the garden where i used to live in 2003 and train nose you get used to it like road traffic Im throwing up obstacles cuz im tryna slow it down" It's sweet that you care but I'd question why you are quite so bothered. She has a boyfriend to worry about all that sort of stuff for her now. Let them enjoy it x | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? " not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things " Your concern seems creepy. I'd bet you're the jealous type, trying to throw obstacles in the way suggests this. I wouldn't be surprised if the relationship has been going on longer than you think and your friend has been keeping it from her older, judgmental and possibly controlling 'friend' | |||
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" not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things ." To be honest, I thought at first you were being a concerned friend which I am sure you are, but having read the rest of the posts I think you could now be crossing the line into wanting her to live how you would. She isn't you, she can do things her way. Keep saying she is only 21 and doesn't know her own mind is a tad insulting, she is an adult. I had a morgage at that age and knew what house I wanted to buy. OK it does seem a bit quick if what you say is true, but all you can do is be her friend especially if it goes pear shaped. You can't decide what she should do with her life. | |||
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" not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things . To be honest, I thought at first you were being a concerned friend which I am sure you are, but having read the rest of the posts I think you could now be crossing the line into wanting her to live how you would. She isn't you, she can do things her way. Keep saying she is only 21 and doesn't know her own mind is a tad insulting, she is an adult. I had a morgage at that age and knew what house I wanted to buy. OK it does seem a bit quick if what you say is true, but all you can do is be her friend especially if it goes pear shaped. You can't decide what she should do with her life." whos said anything about her not knowing her own mind? Not me? | |||
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"Well if it's already done there's nothing you can do. You have the talk before it happens, not after. All of my friends get the truth from me, I'm not going to soften things up for them, may as well say it as it is and if they don't like it it's their choice but at least they know I'm being honest. I'd also like to think none of my friends were daft enough to buy a house with someone after a month of being with them, but if they were I'd try and put them off massively. I didnt soften it wen i said theres the noise by the railway and the rats off the bank, I had no issues with rats when the railway track was at the bottom of the garden where i used to live in 2003 and train nose you get used to it like road traffic Im throwing up obstacles cuz im tryna slow it down You know that opposition only makes people more obstinate. How about accepting and respecting your friend's choice. Supporting and helping her and her partner because that way the relationship has more chance of lasting and you have two good friends where previously you only had one. I understand your reservations but you're a friend not a parent." I was thinking the same thing. I wouldn't dream of telling my kids what to do with their lives let alone stick my beak in with friends. Yes, if I have concerns I express it once then step back and mind my own business whilst making them know I'm always there, without waiting in anticipation it'll go tits up! | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? " A little?!! Understatement, or someone without a life of their own. | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things Your concern seems creepy. I'd bet you're the jealous type, trying to throw obstacles in the way suggests this. I wouldn't be surprised if the relationship has been going on longer than you think and your friend has been keeping it from her older, judgmental and possibly controlling 'friend'" | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things Your concern seems creepy. I'd bet you're the jealous type, trying to throw obstacles in the way suggests this. I wouldn't be surprised if the relationship has been going on longer than you think and your friend has been keeping it from her older, judgmental and possibly controlling 'friend'" Lol when someone calls u jugdemental, yet they are judgin you | |||
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" not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things . To be honest, I thought at first you were being a concerned friend which I am sure you are, but having read the rest of the posts I think you could now be crossing the line into wanting her to live how you would. She isn't you, she can do things her way. Keep saying she is only 21 and doesn't know her own mind is a tad insulting, she is an adult. I had a morgage at that age and knew what house I wanted to buy. OK it does seem a bit quick if what you say is true, but all you can do is be her friend especially if it goes pear shaped. You can't decide what she should do with her life." I was married at that age Ruggers and my parents didn't stick their oars in let alone a "friend" and they would have got short shrift if they had! | |||
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" not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things . To be honest, I thought at first you were being a concerned friend which I am sure you are, but having read the rest of the posts I think you could now be crossing the line into wanting her to live how you would. She isn't you, she can do things her way. Keep saying she is only 21 and doesn't know her own mind is a tad insulting, she is an adult. I had a morgage at that age and knew what house I wanted to buy. OK it does seem a bit quick if what you say is true, but all you can do is be her friend especially if it goes pear shaped. You can't decide what she should do with her life. whos said anything about her not knowing her own mind? Not me? " You did say "she's 21 and think she knows it all tho" | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things Your concern seems creepy. I'd bet you're the jealous type, trying to throw obstacles in the way suggests this. I wouldn't be surprised if the relationship has been going on longer than you think and your friend has been keeping it from her older, judgmental and possibly controlling 'friend' Lol when someone calls u jugdemental, yet they are judgin you "Lol when someone calls someone a friend yet they are actively trying to sabotage their life | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about where two 21 year olds got the deposit for a house..." My niece was able to buy at house at 21 as she'd inherited some money. I think having sense to invest into property at 21 should be applauded really. | |||
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"I'd be more concerned about where two 21 year olds got the deposit for a house..." My son-in-law bought his first house at 20. He was in the navy and lived on ship, everything catered for so didn't spend his salary. He was going to buy a bike but his dad suggested property instead. He and my daughter, with their three sons have just moved from Berkshire to south Wales and are morgage free: he's 30! | |||
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"Well if it's already done there's nothing you can do. You have the talk before it happens, not after. All of my friends get the truth from me, I'm not going to soften things up for them, may as well say it as it is and if they don't like it it's their choice but at least they know I'm being honest. I'd also like to think none of my friends were daft enough to buy a house with someone after a month of being with them, but if they were I'd try and put them off massively. I didnt soften it wen i said theres the noise by the railway and the rats off the bank, " Where they were buying a house wouldn't bother me. If it was my friend I'd be saying you've only been with them a month, you don't know what they're truly like anything could happen over the next few months and I'm worried you'll end up in a difficult situation etc. If they were still adamant they wanted to carry on I'd still remain friends with them but If they came moaning to me in the future they wouldn't get any sympathy. I'm surprised they managed to get a joint mortgage after a short amount of time together, requires proof of income etc and a good income. | |||
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" not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things . To be honest, I thought at first you were being a concerned friend which I am sure you are, but having read the rest of the posts I think you could now be crossing the line into wanting her to live how you would. She isn't you, she can do things her way. Keep saying she is only 21 and doesn't know her own mind is a tad insulting, she is an adult. I had a morgage at that age and knew what house I wanted to buy. OK it does seem a bit quick if what you say is true, but all you can do is be her friend especially if it goes pear shaped. You can't decide what she should do with her life. whos said anything about her not knowing her own mind? Not me? You did say "she's 21 and think she knows it all tho"" i wont ask for advice in future | |||
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"OP, I find some of your posts on this thread a bit disturbing to be honest. As her friend, why are you trying to sabotage her relationship? True friends don't throw obstacles in the way. It sounds a bit like jealousy to me. Let her live her life, be happy for them both. As you've previously stated they new each other before they got back together this time. What's the problem? " Im not tryna sabotage her relationship, what im trying to is slow things down she could end up lumbered with a mortgage, if ever he did a runner | |||
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" not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things . To be honest, I thought at first you were being a concerned friend which I am sure you are, but having read the rest of the posts I think you could now be crossing the line into wanting her to live how you would. She isn't you, she can do things her way. Keep saying she is only 21 and doesn't know her own mind is a tad insulting, she is an adult. I had a morgage at that age and knew what house I wanted to buy. OK it does seem a bit quick if what you say is true, but all you can do is be her friend especially if it goes pear shaped. You can't decide what she should do with her life. whos said anything about her not knowing her own mind? Not me? You did say "she's 21 and think she knows it all tho" i wont ask for advice in future" You asked for advice, we've all given it to you. Evidently you don't like some of it and that's your prerogative not to take it. I wish you and them the best of luck, whatever happens. X | |||
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"Im not tryna sabotage her relationship, what im trying to is slow things down she could end up lumbered with a mortgage, if ever he did a runner" I seriously don't see the problem, currently money in the bank is earning about 50% of inflation, money in property 200% of inflation. If he walks out on her she wins, if he stays she wins, if he stays and they modernise the house they both win big time. The only possible loser in the whole situation is you OP, and you don't have to lose just be a friend and be supportive on this win win adventure. | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things " I don't like to see my mate dress like her mother but I keep my flaming mouth shut. Friends support, discuss, advise if asked and put up bail. | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things I don't like to see my mate dress like her mother but I keep my flaming mouth shut. Friends support, discuss, advise if asked and put up bail. " Does your mate look good dressed like his mother? Lol @ put up bail | |||
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"Im not tryna sabotage her relationship, what im trying to is slow things down she could end up lumbered with a mortgage, if ever he did a runner I seriously don't see the problem, currently money in the bank is earning about 50% of inflation, money in property 200% of inflation. If he walks out on her she wins, if he stays she wins, if he stays and they modernise the house they both win big time. The only possible loser in the whole situation is you OP, and you don't have to lose just be a friend and be supportive on this win win adventure." I've never understood people who panic over being lumbered with a mortgage. You just sell the house and give the money back  | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things I don't like to see my mate dress like her mother but I keep my flaming mouth shut. Friends support, discuss, advise if asked and put up bail. " | |||
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"Am i the only one who smells a little jealousy in these posts? not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things I don't like to see my mate dress like her mother but I keep my flaming mouth shut. Friends support, discuss, advise if asked and put up bail. Does your mate look good dressed like his mother? Lol @ put up bail" | |||
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"Ok, here is my story. I met my now ex husband when I was 11 years old, during our time in normal school we didn’t take any notice of each other, in 6th form we flirted a little but nothing more, he went off to live with his gf miles away and I didn’t think about him for years, when one evening he and a friend came round and asked me to the cinema it was out the blue but I went and we got on and we started seeing each other, within three months we were married and four months later I was pregnant with our first child. His dad was concerned, his mum and my parents went with it and if they did have doubts they kept it to themselves, my aunt went one step further and sent a Mickey Mouse balloon to our reception and my old boss wrote me a very long letter saying i was making a huge mistake, a couple of friends also stuck their oats in too. You know what? Despite a few kinks in the road we made it to 15 years married life and three wonderful boys later, his dad said we would get the 7 year itch (we didn’t, I got the ten year itch and we almost ended then but we stuck at it), we may not have lasted but all those negative nellies that gave us advice, it stayed with me and I think it actually made me work harder at our marriage to prove to them that this is what we wanted. So what I’m trying to say is this, you may see it as a bad idea but she and her partner doesn’t, don’t put doubt in her mind because you could ruin a perfectly good relationship (both you and her partner) keep your feelings to yourself and let her run with it, it may end next week, twenty years from now or never. Geeky x" well put x | |||
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"Ok, here is my story. I met my now ex husband when I was 11 years old, during our time in normal school we didn’t take any notice of each other, in 6th form we flirted a little but nothing more, he went off to live with his gf miles away and I didn’t think about him for years, when one evening he and a friend came round and asked me to the cinema it was out the blue but I went and we got on and we started seeing each other, within three months we were married and four months later I was pregnant with our first child. His dad was concerned, his mum and my parents went with it and if they did have doubts they kept it to themselves, my aunt went one step further and sent a Mickey Mouse balloon to our reception and my old boss wrote me a very long letter saying i was making a huge mistake, a couple of friends also stuck their oats in too. You know what? Despite a few kinks in the road we made it to 15 years married life and three wonderful boys later, his dad said we would get the 7 year itch (we didn’t, I got the ten year itch and we almost ended then but we stuck at it), we may not have lasted but all those negative nellies that gave us advice, it stayed with me and I think it actually made me work harder at our marriage to prove to them that this is what we wanted. So what I’m trying to say is this, you may see it as a bad idea but she and her partner doesn’t, don’t put doubt in her mind because you could ruin a perfectly good relationship (both you and her partner) keep your feelings to yourself and let her run with it, it may end next week, twenty years from now or never. Geeky x" This completely
My parents have a similarish story at 17 my Mum met my Dad in the January, married in April and my brother was born in October, the following month they moved to Europe, next year they celebrate 50 years of marriage. No relationship is guaranteed, you just hope for the best whatever your age.
Ginger | |||
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"Ok, here is my story. I met my now ex husband when I was 11 years old, during our time in normal school we didn’t take any notice of each other, in 6th form we flirted a little but nothing more, he went off to live with his gf miles away and I didn’t think about him for years, when one evening he and a friend came round and asked me to the cinema it was out the blue but I went and we got on and we started seeing each other, within three months we were married and four months later I was pregnant with our first child. His dad was concerned, his mum and my parents went with it and if they did have doubts they kept it to themselves, my aunt went one step further and sent a Mickey Mouse balloon to our reception and my old boss wrote me a very long letter saying i was making a huge mistake, a couple of friends also stuck their oats in too. You know what? Despite a few kinks in the road we made it to 15 years married life and three wonderful boys later, his dad said we would get the 7 year itch (we didn’t, I got the ten year itch and we almost ended then but we stuck at it), we may not have lasted but all those negative nellies that gave us advice, it stayed with me and I think it actually made me work harder at our marriage to prove to them that this is what we wanted. So what I’m trying to say is this, you may see it as a bad idea but she and her partner doesn’t, don’t put doubt in her mind because you could ruin a perfectly good relationship (both you and her partner) keep your feelings to yourself and let her run with it, it may end next week, twenty years from now or never. Geeky x" | |||
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"I got married at 21 and I would still be married now if he hadn't died five years ago. " Sorry to hear that honey  | |||
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" not jealous jus dont like seeing my mates rushing into things . To be honest, I thought at first you were being a concerned friend which I am sure you are, but having read the rest of the posts I think you could now be crossing the line into wanting her to live how you would. She isn't you, she can do things her way. Keep saying she is only 21 and doesn't know her own mind is a tad insulting, she is an adult. I had a morgage at that age and knew what house I wanted to buy. OK it does seem a bit quick if what you say is true, but all you can do is be her friend especially if it goes pear shaped. You can't decide what she should do with her life. whos said anything about her not knowing her own mind? Not me? " You are implying it by saying she is doing the wrong things ( in your eyes ) | |||
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"Ok, here is my story. I met my now ex husband when I was 11 years old, during our time in normal school we didn’t take any notice of each other, in 6th form we flirted a little but nothing more, he went off to live with his gf miles away and I didn’t think about him for years, when one evening he and a friend came round and asked me to the cinema it was out the blue but I went and we got on and we started seeing each other, within three months we were married and four months later I was pregnant with our first child. His dad was concerned, his mum and my parents went with it and if they did have doubts they kept it to themselves, my aunt went one step further and sent a Mickey Mouse balloon to our reception and my old boss wrote me a very long letter saying i was making a huge mistake, a couple of friends also stuck their oats in too. You know what? Despite a few kinks in the road we made it to 15 years married life and three wonderful boys later, his dad said we would get the 7 year itch (we didn’t, I got the ten year itch and we almost ended then but we stuck at it), we may not have lasted but all those negative nellies that gave us advice, it stayed with me and I think it actually made me work harder at our marriage to prove to them that this is what we wanted. So what I’m trying to say is this, you may see it as a bad idea but she and her partner doesn’t, don’t put doubt in her mind because you could ruin a perfectly good relationship (both you and her partner) keep your feelings to yourself and let her run with it, it may end next week, twenty years from now or never. Geeky x This completely
My parents have a similarish story at 17 my Mum met my Dad in the January, married in April and my brother was born in October, the following month they moved to Europe, next year they celebrate 50 years of marriage. No relationship is guaranteed, you just hope for the best whatever your age.
Ginger "My mum & dad were 30 & 34 respectively, but moved in together after 6 weeks & married within 4 months after a 5 day engagement. They had me 4 years later & were married for 42 years. They were best friends & partners in crime - they even died within 3 months of each other. If it’s right, it’s right. If your concerns are genuine concerns, voice them but in the right way. But if there is any element of self interest in it, then let her be | |||
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"I got married at 21 and I would still be married now if he hadn't died five years ago. "
Sorry to hear that lovely xx | |||
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"I got married at 21 and I would still be married now if he hadn't died five years ago. " Words aren't enough...so sorry x | |||
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"Smiling @ no central heating...in my dayyyy the only heating in our house was a coal fire that my mum had to go start before we got out of bed!!! She will still be able to get warm, probably in bed having sex with the new boyfriend if the rest of the house is too cold
ice on the inside of the bedroom windows.
Coats as blankets
Yes! My mum used to creep in in the night and put coats on top of our blankets and in the morning we couldn't flaming move "I loved this!! I still have the heating off in my room, a summer duvet & layers of blankets because it’s so cosy & comforting! | |||
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"Smiling @ no central heating...in my dayyyy the only heating in our house was a coal fire that my mum had to go start before we got out of bed!!! She will still be able to get warm, probably in bed having sex with the new boyfriend if the rest of the house is too cold
ice on the inside of the bedroom windows.
Coats as blankets
Yes! My mum used to creep in in the night and put coats on top of our blankets and in the morning we couldn't flaming move
I loved this!! I still have the heating off in my room, a summer duvet & layers of blankets because it’s so cosy & comforting! "It is comforting isn't it. | |||
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