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Asking Men Out

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By *lanPartridge OP   Man
over a year ago

nottingham

A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

If I could find one that I'd want to take out, I'd ask but I'm a grumpy old woman who dislikes socialising so that ain't happening anytime soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This surprises me about myself a bit. Im pretty confident but still struggle to ask a man out (properly not for sex) I would drop mega heavy hints but not sure i would actually ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just fuckthem that’s what I’d say lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's my experience!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view? "

I'm fucked then, because I'm not asking.

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By *lanPartridge OP   Man
over a year ago

nottingham

Ha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. Have done and been turned down or told prefer to b friends so never again.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Aha!

Dan! Dan! Dan!

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By *lanPartridge OP   Man
over a year ago

nottingham


"Aha!

Dan! Dan! Dan! "

Smell my cheese you mutha!

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

I'm fucked then, because I'm not asking. "

Will you go out with me? Then you’ll be fucked sunshine

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

No I'll ask a guy out no issue! Saves me wondering what if

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

I'm fucked then, because I'm not asking.

Will you go out with me? Then you’ll be fucked sunshine "

I'd hope so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ask a guy out. I did once in high school and it didn't go well. I don't think guys see a woman in the same way if she makes the first move. But that's just from my experience.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

[Removed by poster at 03/01/18 20:57:57]

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Dont think I would have the confidence to ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sits on rock watching waves...

And smiles ...

Remembering

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By *rustratedmissWoman
over a year ago

York

Would love to have enough confidence to be able to do that!!

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By *lanPartridge OP   Man
over a year ago

nottingham


"Dont think I would have the confidence to ask. "

Believe me: they'd think Chrimbo had come early!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm genuinely surprised by this. Since the mid 80's more women have asked me out than me them. Perhaps I have that helpless look?....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only ever asked one girl out and she said no haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't ask a guy out. I did once in high school and it didn't go well. I don't think guys see a woman in the same way if she makes the first move. But that's just from my experience. "

I agree, I think men tend to place a higher value on something they can congratulate themselves for having attained.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I do occasionally ask a man out.

I much prefer to be asked, however.

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Never had much confidence when I was younger so the only time I ever had a date was if I got asked, I never did the asking.

I did get asked a few times but hardly what you could call often.

Since being single again I've been on here and it's not quite the same thing, no idea what real dating is like now but it seems a little scary.

I'll just stay on fab for now where I'm happy and safe with the fab wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know in 'real ' life if I would. I would make it totally obvious I wanted to, and see which one of us cracks first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know in 'real ' life if I would. I would make it totally obvious I wanted to, and see which one of us cracks first "

Ok...you win.....

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I would have the confidence to ask a man out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been asked out by a girl in a bar. I was flattered and made the first conversations massively easy

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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago

button moon

Nope, can't say I ever have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know in 'real ' life if I would. I would make it totally obvious I wanted to, and see which one of us cracks first

Ok...you win..... "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on the Ads and Geeky dating thread recently and for the first time ever in my 42 years on this planet asked a man out ...

And he ignored me

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By *riday10Man
over a year ago

hertfordshire

Well clearly his loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of any lady is unsure or would like to practice, erm, I'm willing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I literally just did and got a non commital response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I could find one that I'd want to take out, I'd ask but I'm a grumpy old woman who dislikes socialising so that ain't happening anytime soon."
Remember Tenerife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well clearly his loss"

Thanks for saying that - I'm not sure you mean it - but I feel shit so it cheered me up lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have done on fab got ignored

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Well clearly his loss

Thanks for saying that - I'm not sure you mean it - but I feel shit so it cheered me up lol x"

Try me

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By *riday10Man
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"Well clearly his loss

Thanks for saying that - I'm not sure you mean it - but I feel shit so it cheered me up lol x"

I do mean it. If you took the time to ask him out and he was not polite enough to answer back it's his loss.

I do hope someone takes you up should you ask again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well clearly his loss

Thanks for saying that - I'm not sure you mean it - but I feel shit so it cheered me up lol x

Try me "

Aw thanks Bladey - but you live a million miles away!

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Well clearly his loss

Thanks for saying that - I'm not sure you mean it - but I feel shit so it cheered me up lol x

Try me

Aw thanks Bladey - but you live a million miles away!

"

And ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was on the Ads and Geeky dating thread recently and for the first time ever in my 42 years on this planet asked a man out ...

And he ignored me

"

Yes, but did you ask him out in the thread or via pm? Not many people are serious in threads....

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view? "

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton


"If I could find one that I'd want to take out, I'd ask but I'm a grumpy old woman who dislikes socialising so that ain't happening anytime soon."

I laughed. Just because.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London


"If I could find one that I'd want to take out, I'd ask but I'm a grumpy old woman who dislikes socialising so that ain't happening anytime soon. Remember Tenerife "

You mean the time I was locked in a hotel complex there until I found the escape route and sat on a rock every evening?

Were you there Pat, you should have said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists."

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist?

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By *ocks99Man
over a year ago

Reading

Given the usual moan from the women here is about the number of crap messages, I'm curios how many of them are actively searching themselves, rather than waiting for the 'right' one to message them.... ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be great if a women contacted me, there’s a first time for everything and some lovely women in this chat.

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view? "

Doesn't surprise me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not on your Nelly

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

I asked someone out earlier today, and they accepted...go me!!!

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I have in the past. It didn't end well. Now I wouldn't have the confidence to. Sadly I'm not the girl in the bar that men flock to either.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist? "

Depends on situation. I have seen cases while in Cardiff of men trying it on with girls and not leaving them alone, this is misogyny and I don't want to be seen as another one of those guys. So its better for the girl to make the first move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have in the past. It didn't end well. Now I wouldn't have the confidence to. Sadly I'm not the girl in the bar that men flock to either. "

Of all the bars in all the world...you know the rest..Actually you probably don't. Shit, I'm old...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Given the usual moan from the women here is about the number of crap messages, I'm curios how many of them are actively searching themselves, rather than waiting for the 'right' one to message them.... ?"

Quite a lot probably

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I think someone asked me out earlier but, I was so taken aback, I think i ballsed it up

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist?

Depends on situation. I have seen cases while in Cardiff of men trying it on with girls and not leaving them alone, this is misogyny and I don't want to be seen as another one of those guys. So its better for the girl to make the first move. "

And also had situations where i been dancing on me own, because that's what I like to do on a night out, for the other girl to stare you up an down screwing their lips to say go away. I'm not trying to pull you I just want to dance

Or situations where a girl moves in and you think they want to dance but don't and you end up looking like a misogynystic pig which was not your intention. And is quite hurtfull especially someone with huministic principles.

That's why its best for the women to always make the first move.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe. It would take a lot for me to do so though. I'd prefer to be asked out.

~Mia

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lucky guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was on the Ads and Geeky dating thread recently and for the first time ever in my 42 years on this planet asked a man out ...

And he ignored me

"

What?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I could find one that I'd want to take out, I'd ask but I'm a grumpy old woman who dislikes socialising so that ain't happening anytime soon. Remember Tenerife

You mean the time I was locked in a hotel complex there until I found the escape route and sat on a rock every evening?

Were you there Pat, you should have said!"

Yes, then your profile went awol for a few days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm genuinely surprised at the OP statement, I thought it was going to be at least 50-50....interesting

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London


"If I could find one that I'd want to take out, I'd ask but I'm a grumpy old woman who dislikes socialising so that ain't happening anytime soon. Remember Tenerife

You mean the time I was locked in a hotel complex there until I found the escape route and sat on a rock every evening?

Were you there Pat, you should have said!

Yes, then your profile went awol for a few days "

I needed to escape from all those people. So many people.

I would have asked you out to help me plan my escape!

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

If we’re talking vanilla then yes I have but unbeknownst to me he was in a relationship so declined but asked for my number in case anything happened with regards to his relationship status

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Well my inbox is overfloweth

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Nope I couldn’t. Even when people tell me they find me attractive I think they are lying so I certainly wouldn’t ask and set myself up for rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ask guys out, it's not really a problem. If they say no then it's fine, I can go back to my friends or whatever and just move onto the next person wherever or whenever that may be.

Can't take the rejection? I'm sure the majority of guys on here are rejected most of the time, no doubt they'll have loads of advice.

They might say no? So what! A little 'that's fine' and a smile is all it takes.

Not confident? Just take the plunge.

Just ask the guys on here how many times they're rejected and how they take it. Would be interesting to walk in their shoes for a bit and see how it's like...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ask guys out, it's not really a problem. If they say no then it's fine, I can go back to my friends or whatever and just move onto the next person wherever or whenever that may be.

Can't take the rejection? I'm sure the majority of guys on here are rejected most of the time, no doubt they'll have loads of advice.

They might say no? So what! A little 'that's fine' and a smile is all it takes.

Not confident? Just take the plunge.

Just ask the guys on here how many times they're rejected and how they take it. Would be interesting to walk in their shoes for a bit and see how it's like... "

If you want to reharse, you know where to find me

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By *lanPartridge OP   Man
over a year ago

nottingham


"If I could find one that I'd want to take out, I'd ask but I'm a grumpy old woman who dislikes socialising so that ain't happening anytime soon."

I'd ask you out, but I'd probably out-grump you ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I literally just did and got a non commital response "

Unfortunately that's life, but like us men, you've got to metaphorically shrug your shoulders and get back on your horse and try again...Hull people are nice and more receptive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely it's easy enough for a girl to say something like

" fancy a coffee sometime "

Just to get the ball rolling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I literally just did and got a non commital response

Unfortunately that's life, but like us men, you've got to metaphorically shrug your shoulders and get back on your horse and try again...Hull people are nice and more receptive! "

Said on the tv documentary " what Britain's bought in 2017 "

Hull ladies bought the most sex toys !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do, on here.

In person though, although confident, it's unlikely x

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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago

Hull


"I literally just did and got a non commital response

Unfortunately that's life, but like us men, you've got to metaphorically shrug your shoulders and get back on your horse and try again...Hull people are nice and more receptive!

Said on the tv documentary " what Britain's bought in 2017 "

Hull ladies bought the most sex toys !"

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I have the confidence and have done, however, I just think men view you differently if you do.

In my experience they then expect you to take charge of everything. Men I've asked out have never had a third date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I ask guys out, it's not really a problem. If they say no then it's fine, I can go back to my friends or whatever and just move onto the next person wherever or whenever that may be.

Can't take the rejection? I'm sure the majority of guys on here are rejected most of the time, no doubt they'll have loads of advice.

They might say no? So what! A little 'that's fine' and a smile is all it takes.

Not confident? Just take the plunge.

Just ask the guys on here how many times they're rejected and how they take it. Would be interesting to walk in their shoes for a bit and see how it's like... "

You imagine guys would reject on here..."every hole is a goal" is the general concesuss

My advice to women, - if I've ever said no, I'm worried about not hurting your feelings and I'm probably feeling just as worried as you are when you asked.

But, imagine if I've been too worried to ask you, and noes my chance to find out that you liked me aswel? Someone has to take the plunge....

Disclaimer- I've probably already asked you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I'm about to take the plunge and dive in

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Sod it any faf

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist? "

Have you read the papers lately? If I were a man today I'd not approach a women for fear of traumatising the dear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just as daunting for us guys to ask an openly confident woman if she fancies a date as there's always that nagging doubt in your head are you going to end up humiliated

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London


"If I could find one that I'd want to take out, I'd ask but I'm a grumpy old woman who dislikes socialising so that ain't happening anytime soon.

I'd ask you out, but I'd probably out-grump you ... "

You’d be the first! Resting grumpy bitch face usually halts any brave bloke in his tracks.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist?

Have you read the papers lately? If I were a man today I'd not approach a women for fear of traumatising the dear."

I do think that there's a difference between asking out a random stranger and asking out someone that you know a bit.

I wouldn't appreciate some random stranger who knows nothing about me asking me out. I'd actually consider it pretty sexist because they know nothing about me and have only the way I look to go on.

On the other hand, I'm not afraid of asking people I know out and I do so regularly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sod it any faf "

The answer is no

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist?

Have you read the papers lately? If I were a man today I'd not approach a women for fear of traumatising the dear.

I do think that there's a difference between asking out a random stranger and asking out someone that you know a bit.

I wouldn't appreciate some random stranger who knows nothing about me asking me out. I'd actually consider it pretty sexist because they know nothing about me and have only the way I look to go on.

On the other hand, I'm not afraid of asking people I know out and I do so regularly."

You've proved my point.

Men walk a mindfield. How many of us ask friends out on a date? It's usually someone you like the look of and want to know. Looks attract but if there's nothing going on behind the facade attraction will wither on the vine. But if men are made to feel predatory and women are too timid to make the first move...then what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been asked out before, it was a refreshing change and attitude from the girl. Usually, however, in my experience women like to be asked out rather than do the asking ha ha.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist?

Have you read the papers lately? If I were a man today I'd not approach a women for fear of traumatising the dear.

I do think that there's a difference between asking out a random stranger and asking out someone that you know a bit.

I wouldn't appreciate some random stranger who knows nothing about me asking me out. I'd actually consider it pretty sexist because they know nothing about me and have only the way I look to go on.

On the other hand, I'm not afraid of asking people I know out and I do so regularly.

You've proved my point.

Men walk a mindfield. How many of us ask friends out on a date? It's usually someone you like the look of and want to know. Looks attract but if there's nothing going on behind the facade attraction will wither on the vine. But if men are made to feel predatory and women are too timid to make the first move...then what?"

I've never asked someone out that I didn't at least know a little bit. Looks wouldn't be the thing that would want to make me get to know someone better.

I've asked people out that I've got chatting to in a bar, I've asked people out that I've been at a sports club with, I've asked people out that share a hobby with me on internet forums, I've asked people out that I've seen repeatedly at a particular gallery and chatted to a few times... but never just a random person on the street. I have no idea why you'd do that and I'd find it a bit insulting if I was on the receiving end.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"Sod it any faf

The answer is no "

I noticed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist?

Have you read the papers lately? If I were a man today I'd not approach a women for fear of traumatising the dear.

I do think that there's a difference between asking out a random stranger and asking out someone that you know a bit.

I wouldn't appreciate some random stranger who knows nothing about me asking me out. I'd actually consider it pretty sexist because they know nothing about me and have only the way I look to go on.

On the other hand, I'm not afraid of asking people I know out and I do so regularly.

You've proved my point.

Men walk a mindfield. How many of us ask friends out on a date? It's usually someone you like the look of and want to know. Looks attract but if there's nothing going on behind the facade attraction will wither on the vine. But if men are made to feel predatory and women are too timid to make the first move...then what?

I've never asked someone out that I didn't at least know a little bit. Looks wouldn't be the thing that would want to make me get to know someone better.

I've asked people out that I've got chatting to in a bar, I've asked people out that I've been at a sports club with, I've asked people out that share a hobby with me on internet forums, I've asked people out that I've seen repeatedly at a particular gallery and chatted to a few times... but never just a random person on the street. I have no idea why you'd do that and I'd find it a bit insulting if I was on the receiving end."

I'm inclined to believe that looks are what initially draws a man's attention

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"

I'm inclined to believe that looks are what initially draws a man's attention "

And some women - lets not be sexist now.

However that's not the case for everyone. And not everyone appreciates being noticed because of the way they look when that's just about the least interesting thing about them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm inclined to believe that looks are what initially draws a man's attention

And some women - lets not be sexist now.

However that's not the case for everyone. And not everyone appreciates being noticed because of the way they look when that's just about the least interesting thing about them."

even on here you can bullshit all you like that it's personality your attracted to but in the end when you swap pictures it's the look of the person that does it and no matter how good a personality physical attraction always wins out

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"

I'm inclined to believe that looks are what initially draws a man's attention

And some women - lets not be sexist now.

However that's not the case for everyone. And not everyone appreciates being noticed because of the way they look when that's just about the least interesting thing about them.

even on here you can bullshit all you like that it's personality your attracted to but in the end when you swap pictures it's the look of the person that does it and no matter how good a personality physical attraction always wins out"

For you, perhaps.

Not for everyone.

I am quite happy to compromise on looks for somebody who is interesting sexually or interesting in other ways that are compatible with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm inclined to believe that looks are what initially draws a man's attention

And some women - lets not be sexist now.

However that's not the case for everyone. And not everyone appreciates being noticed because of the way they look when that's just about the least interesting thing about them."

I wouldn't know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A girl asked me out at school once but I turned her down, thinking she was just taking the piss. I wondered if it was a terrible error five years later and still a virgin.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist?

Have you read the papers lately? If I were a man today I'd not approach a women for fear of traumatising the dear.

I do think that there's a difference between asking out a random stranger and asking out someone that you know a bit.

I wouldn't appreciate some random stranger who knows nothing about me asking me out. I'd actually consider it pretty sexist because they know nothing about me and have only the way I look to go on.

On the other hand, I'm not afraid of asking people I know out and I do so regularly.

You've proved my point.

Men walk a mindfield. How many of us ask friends out on a date? It's usually someone you like the look of and want to know. Looks attract but if there's nothing going on behind the facade attraction will wither on the vine. But if men are made to feel predatory and women are too timid to make the first move...then what?

I've never asked someone out that I didn't at least know a little bit. Looks wouldn't be the thing that would want to make me get to know someone better.

I've asked people out that I've got chatting to in a bar, I've asked people out that I've been at a sports club with, I've asked people out that share a hobby with me on internet forums, I've asked people out that I've seen repeatedly at a particular gallery and chatted to a few times... but never just a random person on the street. I have no idea why you'd do that and I'd find it a bit insulting if I was on the receiving end."

I repeat: minefield nowadays.

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By *cott73Man
over a year ago

brighton

I'm more than happy to be asked out if anyone wants the practice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view?

As a man I would prefer the women (in a vanilla) situation to make the first move.

Otherwise it can misconstrued as you be to pushy or sexists.

How can asking someone out for a drink, be sexist?

Have you read the papers lately? If I were a man today I'd not approach a women for fear of traumatising the dear.

I do think that there's a difference between asking out a random stranger and asking out someone that you know a bit.

I wouldn't appreciate some random stranger who knows nothing about me asking me out. I'd actually consider it pretty sexist because they know nothing about me and have only the way I look to go on.

On the other hand, I'm not afraid of asking people I know out and I do so regularly.

You've proved my point.

Men walk a mindfield. How many of us ask friends out on a date? It's usually someone you like the look of and want to know. Looks attract but if there's nothing going on behind the facade attraction will wither on the vine. But if men are made to feel predatory and women are too timid to make the first move...then what?

I've never asked someone out that I didn't at least know a little bit. Looks wouldn't be the thing that would want to make me get to know someone better.

I've asked people out that I've got chatting to in a bar, I've asked people out that I've been at a sports club with, I've asked people out that share a hobby with me on internet forums, I've asked people out that I've seen repeatedly at a particular gallery and chatted to a few times... but never just a random person on the street. I have no idea why you'd do that and I'd find it a bit insulting if I was on the receiving end.

I repeat: minefield nowadays.

"

Agreed, no matter what you do, someone will be determined to take offence

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By *lanPartridge OP   Man
over a year ago

nottingham

Speaking as an OP type of chap, I have been asked out a couple of times, and I've been soooo impressed with the women involved ... Plus it really made my day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a couple of guys on this thread that I wouldn't mind asking out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a couple of guys on this thread that I wouldn't mind asking out "
you should go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the confidence but would rather not as I prefer a man to ask me. Despite being a modern woman it still seems the natural order of things... And I like men to be men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Given the usual moan from the women here is about the number of crap messages, I'm curios how many of them are actively searching themselves, rather than waiting for the 'right' one to message them.... ?"

I actively searched and got turned down most times. (shrugs) There are plenty of women who hide their profiles and seek out those they want too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have on a couple of rare and memorable occasions been approached by women who have asked me out.

Maybe it's something to do with fab and the forums or perhaps like many guys here who have said something similar I very rarely make the first approach. That stomach crunching over thinking thing of daring to declare an interest in another seems to be the same for many here of both sexes. And the thought that most single guys seem to be viewed with cynism or distrust and the man bashing threads do make me wary of taking the first step and being thought of as just another knobhead on fab.

On the few occasions I have made the first move...it hasn't gone well so maybe I'm just too wary and rather than take a risk by asking and being turned down now I just wander the forums with few expectations....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got asked out today. Was taken aback a little bit I must admit

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest


"A straw poll of my fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends reveals that they still wouldn't ask a man out. I'm most surprised. Is this a general view? "

Your fiesty, modern, intelligent, empowered female friends would (still) certainly baulk at the idea of buying themselves a drink.

Come on girls, it's 2018. It's looking like you threw yourselves in front of the King's horse for nothing..

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By *lanPartridge OP   Man
over a year ago

nottingham

They're straight into the drinks that lot. No worries

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