FabSwingers.com forum: Do you ever wish

By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own

You could run away and start your life all over again somewhere new and far away?

I'm at the point where I really wish I could but because my boys are relatively settled it would be selfish to make them move.

How do you start again in the same place?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on why you want to start over?

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By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

If you aren't happy surely it isn't selfish?

Would you want your boys to see you sad.

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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Life isn't going well. So many things. Currently feels like a game I'm never going to win or even claw a draw.

I want to start again and do it better because of all my past mistakes and poor choices.

I want to be better as a mum, as a woman and in general. I want to learn to like myself. I'm too broken just now to fix.

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By *DONToBEoNOSEYoMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

You will never change the past only the future.

No one is perfect and we all make mistakes.

The key is to take steps forward and not back.

I’m the same stuck in a rut in a strange town but only I can change it.

I wish you luck and here to talk if needed.

Rob xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've pm'd you op.

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By *DONToBEoNOSEYoMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

"If you aren't happy surely it isn't selfish?

Would you want your boys to see you sad."

This.

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

I did about 18 months ago. Moved to where I knew no one and started totally afresh.

Only you know if it's right for you

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

I did this....changed my name and everything. Stuck a pin in a map and moved there. Best thing I ever did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the time, but my children and mum need me. I'd probably cry when I got there anyway, because I'd miss them.

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By *DONToBEoNOSEYoMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I’m just forty and in the worst mindset I’ve ever been.

Moved to Wolverhampton 5 years ago to be with what I thought would be my forever for it to be my never.

Feel in a trap... it’s certainly crap but I feel it’s only me that can change that.

And that.. I will.. in the new year.. not a resolution but more a goal that I need to score just for me and my sanity lol..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't have to run away,just turn around and shut the door on the old shit.I'm trying myself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moving away might not be the answer, if you take your problems with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You could run away and start your life all over again somewhere new and far away?

I'm at the point where I really wish I could but because my boys are relatively settled it would be selfish to make them move.

How do you start again in the same place?"

Believe me, do it, if not, you may end up regretting it. Children relocate and readjust incredibly quickly so it wouldn't be selfish on your part.

Unfortunately late in life I now realise we should live our lives and set up opportunities for our children, not try to live their lives at the expense of ours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I changed my life completely. It takes time. It's not easy and the hardest part is taking that first step.

Kids are resilient and they are the best of us. They should always come first and running away somewhere new just moves the geography of your problems.

The past it's gone. It can't be changed so don't look back at it.

The future is what you make it. Follow your dream one step one day at a time. It may be hard, some days it may even feel impossible.

The past had gone. The future is not ours to see... so dream it plan it aim towards it but live it today. For today is the only place we can be.

And hug your kids hold them close. You are blessed.

We all make mistakes all feel things may be different all probably regret things in our past. But that's where they stay.

I hope you find what you are reaching for and always follow your

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Life isn't going well. So many things. Currently feels like a game I'm never going to win or even claw a draw.

I want to start again and do it better because of all my past mistakes and poor choices.

I want to be better as a mum, as a woman and in general. I want to learn to like myself. I'm too broken just now to fix. "

My mother always said “This too shall pass” when things felt bleak. It’s true. However bad things can feel at one point, there are brighter moments ahead. Talking helps. The perspective we have of ourselves is often ridiculously harsh. If there are changes you want to make, small nudges ripple into greater effect - do one small thing and recognise that you have. Also remember that with difficulty comes greater empathy and compassion, and I’m sure your child/children hold you in much higher regard than you do yourself. Listen to them.

Sending you love and strength. X

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Yes I do!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the time, but my children and mum need me. I'd probably cry when I got there anyway, because I'd miss them."

This sounds very much like me although it's my mum and my nan who need me but yes, I can associate with you OP and this post entirely x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter has a friend who has uprooted her children many times, to try to leave her problems behind. She took them with her and some of her children went to live with their dad.

If you really think moving will help then do it.

I get the feeling you're running away from someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the time, but my children and mum need me. I'd probably cry when I got there anyway, because I'd miss them.

This sounds very much like me although it's my mum and my nan who need me but yes, I can associate with you OP and this post entirely x"

Mine aren't a problem; they just take up a lot of my time and energy and make me worry a lot. Running away would only give me more time and reason to worry.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Other than facing any issues or problems head on, which is often hard to do, I find it helpful to make a list

Positives in one column and then negatives in the other. It always helps me rationalise things a lot more

I do hope it all works out for you

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I recently did. Hard some days but never looked back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All the time, but my children and mum need me. I'd probably cry when I got there anyway, because I'd miss them.

This sounds very much like me although it's my mum and my nan who need me but yes, I can associate with you OP and this post entirely x

Mine aren't a problem; they just take up a lot of my time and energy and make me worry a lot. Running away would only give me more time and reason to worry."

Hell no mine aren't a problem either but they rely on me to a degree and as they are both getting older I need to be around for them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i didnt have 2 kids id be long gone

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

I often dream about sailing away into the sunset.

OP I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling that way and truly hope that you can find happiness; whether that be where you are now or somewhere completely new.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I do wish that at times.

Right now though I have to do what’s right by my children, even though kids are resilient they also need to feel settled & secure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't run away from what's in your head, unfortunately. Sort that out first, and then see how you feel. Chin up lovely.

If i didn't have my children or my mum depending on me, i'd quite happily just pack up and go and live somewhere quiet, remote and beautiful (and cheap).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would if it wouldn't just end up making my life more awkward once I got to the other end.

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