FabSwingers.com forum: meeting

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i was asked if i fancied fun today which i replied im sorry im skint

which is true i dont get paid till fri. and the reply came

My treat

i hate it when people say that who i never have met. it makes the person feel cheap

thoughts on the above

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You brought money into the equation, not them.

They offered to remove money as a barrier to a meet, you declined the offer.

Is there anything more to it than that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with what Sensual said.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Only you know why you feel cheap.

If I couldn't afford to travel they could meet me in a coffee bar by me and get me a coffee, nothing or tap water.

I've bought people a coffee on meeting before.....doesn't mean I think they owe me a fuck.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"You brought money into the equation, not them.

They offered to remove money as a barrier to a meet, you declined the offer.

Is there anything more to it than that?"

Yup,have to agree.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

guys really cant win.

this was a nice gesture,why did you turn it into something bad.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

To be honest, if they are willing to pay for a drink or two to meet you then I'd go for it. I think thats quite sweet. Obviously if the problem is you can't afford to get to the meet (bus/train fare) then thats different.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I have to stick up for Jaqs here.

She didn't call the bloke bad.

She said she doesn't like it when strangers say 'my treat'

She asked for thoughts and it's possible to give thoughts on the matter without condemning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the guy wants to meet you, it was a nice gesture,

angel

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By *thyorksCouple
over a year ago

ROTHERHAM

[Removed by poster at 25/09/11 11:43:54]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

im not calling anyone bad at all

im just trying to see both views

i have enough for a few beers or a coffee but not for a room to book ( which is what he is suggesting)

im flattered that he offered but me being me always thinks things that shouldnt be in there

i turned down the meet as im skint and if i wasnt conftable would be hard for me to get home thats all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i once put on my status that i was skint and it was my birthday, i was just feeling sorry for myself really, but then i got quite a few messages offering money or gifts for sex, not what i meant AT ALL! But it made me realise that that sort of post is very easily misconstrued cos some people do think of sex as some kind of material exchange, so im much more careful now xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i once put on my status that i was skint and it was my birthday, i was just feeling sorry for myself really, but then i got quite a few messages offering money or gifts for sex, not what i meant AT ALL! But it made me realise that that sort of post is very easily misconstrued cos some people do think of sex as some kind of material exchange, so im much more careful now xx"

that's what i mean did i misconstrued the message or not

its not like it someone i have met

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"im not calling anyone bad at all

im just trying to see both views

i have enough for a few beers or a coffee but not for a room to book ( which is what he is suggesting)

im flattered that he offered but me being me always thinks things that shouldnt be in there

i turned down the meet as im skint and if i wasnt conftable would be hard for me to get home thats all

That last line is so important. Without the money to get home you were unsafe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"im not calling anyone bad at all

im just trying to see both views

i have enough for a few beers or a coffee but not for a room to book ( which is what he is suggesting)

im flattered that he offered but me being me always thinks things that shouldnt be in there

i turned down the meet as im skint and if i wasnt conftable would be hard for me to get home thats all

That last line is so important. Without the money to get home you were unsafe.

i like to be safe wherever i go. thats why if i go to chams i always have taxi fair to get home

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"I have to stick up for Jaqs here.

She didn't call the bloke bad.

She said she doesn't like it when strangers say 'my treat'

She asked for thoughts and it's possible to give thoughts on the matter without condemning. "

she said it makes her feel cheap,is that good or bad??

boy takes girl out,boy pays,oh my god.

does he think this is the sixties,i'll bet the wanker opens doors for girls as well.get the deviant of the site grrrrr.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I have to stick up for Jaqs here.

She didn't call the bloke bad.

She said she doesn't like it when strangers say 'my treat'

She asked for thoughts and it's possible to give thoughts on the matter without condemning.

she said it makes her feel cheap,is that good or bad??

boy takes girl out,boy pays,oh my god.

does he think this is the sixties,i'll bet the wanker opens doors for girls as well.get the deviant of the site grrrrr.

Welcome to life as a guy in the new millennium.

Dammed if you do, dammed of you don't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

its not that at all

its how it was said "my treat"

i dont want to meet someone who assumes that sex is guanteed as with me i like to meet socially 1st

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I have to stick up for Jaqs here.

She didn't call the bloke bad.

She said she doesn't like it when strangers say 'my treat'

She asked for thoughts and it's possible to give thoughts on the matter without condemning.

she said it makes her feel cheap,is that good or bad??

boy takes girl out,boy pays,oh my god.

does he think this is the sixties,i'll bet the wanker opens doors for girls as well.get the deviant of the site grrrrr.

Saucy..... ALL of that is YOUR interpretaion of what jaqs said. No one else said it. You did. You don't know why she doesn't like it.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"its not that at all

its how it was said "my treat"

i dont want to meet someone who assumes that sex is guanteed as with me i like to meet socially 1st

That's just semantics over words.

'My treat' is a phrase which simply means 'I'll pay'.

What makes you assume that he was assuming that sex was guaranteed?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I have to stick up for Jaqs here.

She didn't call the bloke bad.

She said she doesn't like it when strangers say 'my treat'

She asked for thoughts and it's possible to give thoughts on the matter without condemning.

she said it makes her feel cheap,is that good or bad??

boy takes girl out,boy pays,oh my god.

does he think this is the sixties,i'll bet the wanker opens doors for girls as well.get the deviant of the site grrrrr.

Welcome to life as a guy in the new millennium.

Dammed if you do, dammed of you don't."

Your fanning as usual x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"its not that at all

its how it was said "my treat"

i dont want to meet someone who assumes that sex is guanteed as with me i like to meet socially 1st

That's just semantics over words.

'My treat' is a phrase which simply means 'I'll pay'.

What makes you assume that he was assuming that sex was guaranteed?

I agree with this and was just going to ask ....

I did say much to the effect in my first post.

Did you ever find your belt ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"its not that at all

its how it was said "my treat"

i dont want to meet someone who assumes that sex is guanteed as with me i like to meet socially 1st

That's just semantics over words.

'My treat' is a phrase which simply means 'I'll pay'.

What makes you assume that he was assuming that sex was guaranteed?

it was clear x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think there is a very good chance it was said in good faith but i do fully understand how it could make you feel uncomfortable as it could make you feel that once you got there if you just wasn't feeling it and didn't wish to play would it make you feel pressure to go ahead anyway as after all he had forked out the cost of the room whereas if you had paid half there wouldn't be one ounce of pressure even if it is just percieved pressure on your part and not projected by him so all in all maybe you made right decission in saying no ta love

but like i said at the begining i'm certain it was offered genuinely with no underlying intention

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"its not that at all

its how it was said "my treat"

i dont want to meet someone who assumes that sex is guanteed as with me i like to meet socially 1st

That's just semantics over words.

'My treat' is a phrase which simply means 'I'll pay'.

What makes you assume that he was assuming that sex was guaranteed?

it was clear x"

I'm sorry, but on that basis you were entirely free to make it clear that you meet socially first and don't have sex on a 1st meet.

Thus paying for a hotel room is removed from the equation, as is any expectation of sex (whether for money or not) and there would be no reason why you couldn't have met the guy somewhere for a coffee which was close enough to you that you could have made your own way home.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"its not that at all

its how it was said "my treat"

i dont want to meet someone who assumes that sex is guanteed as with me i like to meet socially 1st

That's just semantics over words.

'My treat' is a phrase which simply means 'I'll pay'.

What makes you assume that he was assuming that sex was guaranteed?

it was clear x

I'm sorry, but on that basis you were entirely free to make it clear that you meet socially first and don't have sex on a 1st meet.

But that wouldn't have made a good forum thread!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"its not that at all

its how it was said "my treat"

i dont want to meet someone who assumes that sex is guanteed as with me i like to meet socially 1st

That's just semantics over words.

'My treat' is a phrase which simply means 'I'll pay'.

What makes you assume that he was assuming that sex was guaranteed?

it was clear x

I'm sorry, but on that basis you were entirely free to make it clear that you meet socially first and don't have sex on a 1st meet.

You fink of evewyfink Bwian x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im not calling anyone bad at all

im just trying to see both views

i have enough for a few beers or a coffee but not for a room to book ( which is what he is suggesting)

im flattered that he offered but me being me always thinks things that shouldnt be in there

i turned down the meet as im skint and if i wasnt conftable would be hard for me to get home thats all

maybe if you had said in first post that he was suggesting getting a room and he thought sex was guaranteed some of the replies may and i stress may have been different , just my thoughts .

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

But that wouldn't have made a good forum thread!

There are GOOD forum threads?

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"I have to stick up for Jaqs here.

She didn't call the bloke bad.

She said she doesn't like it when strangers say 'my treat'

She asked for thoughts and it's possible to give thoughts on the matter without condemning.

she said it makes her feel cheap,is that good or bad??

boy takes girl out,boy pays,oh my god.

does he think this is the sixties,i'll bet the wanker opens doors for girls as well.get the deviant of the site grrrrr.

Saucy..... ALL of that is YOUR interpretaion of what jaqs said. No one else said it. You did. You don't know why she doesn't like it. "

are you going to start changing,the meaning of words again granny.

it makes the person feel cheap,is that a good thing,or a bad thing.

a simple yes or no will suffice.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've got NO idea what you mean about the changing of words.

All that jaqs said was it makes her feel cheap.

The rest was yours.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

But that wouldn't have made a good forum thread!

There are GOOD forum threads?"

I did try with my Feel Good friday post, but I think people prefer to be crabby.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 25/09/11 12:14:15]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I am putting my hand up as a NOT crabby. Since when did having a take on something make people crabby ?

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Agree with what Sensual said.

Me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am putting my hand up as a NOT crabby. Since when did having a take on something make people crabby ?"

used to love crabbing as a kid does that count

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I am putting my hand up as a NOT crabby. Since when did having a take on something make people crabby ?"

Oh it wasn't a personal pop at anyone. I've just noticed a few posts have gone to pot recently due to people misunderstanding each other and jumping on little things. Maybe its a full moon or something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some things are open to interpretation and you don't realise until it's too late.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one " makes " me feel anything...its my reaction, thats a choice of mine...

Its about boundaries..I can understand not feeling comfortable if I didn`t have my autonomy and independence....with that in mind...I would artiulate what I was happy with....if the other person didn`t fit in...

Ah well..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"its not that at all

its how it was said "my treat"

i dont want to meet someone who assumes that sex is guanteed as with me i like to meet socially 1st

That's just semantics over words.

'My treat' is a phrase which simply means 'I'll pay'.

What makes you assume that he was assuming that sex was guaranteed?

it was clear x

I'm sorry, but on that basis you were entirely free to make it clear that you meet socially first and don't have sex on a 1st meet.

This is how I looked at it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was asked if i fancied fun today which i replied im sorry im skint

which is true i dont get paid till fri. and the reply came

My treat

i hate it when people say that who i never have met. it makes the person feel cheap

thoughts on the above"

May I ask, when he said 'my treat' was he referring to the social aspect of the meet?

Or had you agreed to meet to play?

If it was the former then buying you a cuppa is not that bigger deal, in the scheme of things, really. If it was the latter, then yes I can understand what you mean, but conversely, would have suggested Chams: you go in as a couple, he pays, which saves him the ten pounds it would have cost more as a single male, and you get a safe environment in which to play, with other options available for both if the attraction isn't there?

And you then have the dosh for your taxi home too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When i was on a dating site i met a man he bought me flowers,and a meal, and i paid for the drinks. We didnt have sex. There not all tight buggers.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"I've got NO idea what you mean about the changing of words.

All that jaqs said was it makes her feel cheap.

The rest was yours. "

offering to pay,good or bad ??

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I've got NO idea what you mean about the changing of words.

All that jaqs said was it makes her feel cheap.

The rest was yours.

offering to pay,good or bad ??"

An action is not interpretable unless intention is known.

You interpreted it.

Fucks sake ! Own it.

Depends on how the recipient feels as to how they interpret it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone offered to pay for a meet it wouldnt make me feel cheap, however i wouldnt feel comfy meeting someone with money in my pocket as i dont drive so i like to make sure i at least have enough to get home if needed, i think that just sensible, so i would thank then and ask if we could arrange for another time

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Whether it was a social meet or a turn up and play meet makes no odds to me.

The decline to meet brought money up as the barrier (and from what was said in the opening post - the only barrier mentioned)... the other person offered to remove the barrier... it is as simple as that in my eyes.

Had the reason for not being at liberty to meet been something else (not money related) and then came a reply of "go on I'll pay"... I may well look at it in a different light.

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"I've got NO idea what you mean about the changing of words.

All that jaqs said was it makes her feel cheap.

The rest was yours.

offering to pay,good or bad ??

An action is not interpretable unless intention is known.

You interpreted it.

Fucks sake ! Own it.

Depends on how the recipient feels as to how they interpret it. "

hmmmmm complicated reply,to a simple question.

still minus an answer.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I've got NO idea what you mean about the changing of words.

All that jaqs said was it makes her feel cheap.

The rest was yours.

offering to pay,good or bad ??

An action is not interpretable unless intention is known.

You interpreted it.

Fucks sake ! Own it.

Depends on how the recipient feels as to how they interpret it.

hmmmmm complicated reply,to a simple question.

still minus an answer."

You are not minus an answer Saucy. You are just minus the corner that you keep trying to push me in.

I don't know what they offered or why they offered so I don't know if it's good or bad.

If pushed I'd say....... it was a Good offer so that a meet could take place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i did think about it

and agreed to meet for a coffee later to which i got will have to be Worcester no other options

so alas i did decline as getting to Worcester on the train no problems getting home from there not cheap and the trains after a cetrain time i hate traveling on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey im up for a treat especialy if its a pair of louboutins hahhahahahah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i did think about it

and agreed to meet for a coffee later to which i got will have to be Worcester no other options

so alas i did decline as getting to Worcester on the train no problems getting home from there not cheap and the trains after a cetrain time i hate traveling on"

Ah well, plenty more fish Jacqs.... chin up xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Im fine LOL

just made me laugh it was all his terms and nothing about 50/50

just makes my resolve for chams meets more

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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago

leeds

I always have a coffee meet first and insist on buying the first drink, even if the guy is adonis if he doesn't offer to get the next one in he's a no for a further meet!! Amazing how many guys sit chatting about how wonderful they are going to be in the sack with theirs and mine empty cups between us! Just my little way of getting a feeling for someone!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i hate tight people. i will look after my friends all the time and family

but when you meet for a coffee or a drink i like to see what they are like in social aspects like conversation but if i drink i get more flirty and if i like someone they knw it

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

I always meet for a chat over coffee or a drink first, that way there can be no misunderstanding as to what will be taking place on this first meet, if a guy says come to my hotel and meet me for a drink then he is left under no illusion that we won't be going up to his room after as a rule....

Of course there have been exceptions, but they have been rare.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

How far off is this thread from the 'shared hotel costs' one where guys were expected to pat and I suggested the person can did off (even asked what if it was 2 girls but got no answer).

Looking at barriers here's my thinking:

Can't accommodate? I can.

Nothing in the cupboard? Takeaway will suffice.;

No transport? Let me worry about train/bus/cab.

Just a social meet? Who says am objecting.

No time? I'm open to alternative dates.

Nothing to wear? I don't judge on outfit. :O

Sometimes being nice will be taken the wrong way no matter what a guy does, the result is the hint (rightly or wrongly) is taken and the matter never brought up again.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Typos:

'pat's - pay.

'did off' - sod off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i was flattered yet when i said thanks for the offer for the drink i will meet you in Birmingham he decided that Worcester was his only place he would meet

and the person knew i don't drive and trains on a Sunday are crap with engineering work going on (and yeah i know as i work for the trains)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too be honest jaq I'm old school on this

I love to treat a lady like a lady

They on a meet with me they pay fa nowt

If we go anywhere and if it's a house meet at there's I never turn up empty handed

Some men get pleasure out of this and I'm one if them

Don't let it make you feel cheap just enjoy xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wouldn't make a very good WAG

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Too be honest jaq I'm old school on this

I love to treat a lady like a lady

They on a meet with me they pay fa nowt

If we go anywhere and if it's a house meet at there's I never turn up empty handed

Some men get pleasure out of this and I'm one if them

Don't let it make you feel cheap just enjoy xx

Yes, I am still "old fashioned" enough to do that too, Soapy! I do things like always walk on the side nearest the road when the delightful Mrs R and I are walking. Always hold the door open for people (not just women) and for my trouble have been called all sorts of names, mainly by women, but that's just me.

If this was just a social meet, I see nothing wrong with the guy buying a drink or two and perhaps something to eat. Why should niceties go out of the window just because sex may be involved? On a vanilla date, most people would accept that it is OK for someone to pay for things, but even on a vanilla date I would wager that there is some"hope" that sliding into silk panties is on the cards!

We all "pay" for our sexual encounters in one way or other. We pretty ourselves up or we wear special clothes. Guys will spend time making themselves acceptable and likeable to those they want to meet. Buying coffee or a meal, even offering to collect and deliver prospective partner is just an extension of that. However, If the guy had offered to pay for the hotel room to secure a meet, that would be a different matter. Thing to do is make sure at the outset that the guy knows exactly what is or is not on offer.

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

If I had a pound everytime I offered to pay and got 'dont try to buy me - its not about the money', I'd take the month off - its hard as a fella to jot cause offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a mixed viewpoint on a woman stating she wishes to pay her way. I like to maintain a level of independence myself, I find it patronising if a man thinks he can play the big I am by offering to pay especially when its someone you often don't know that well. Personally i do not see what is wrong though with a woman wanting a little independence.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"If I had a pound everytime I offered to pay and got 'dont try to buy me - its not about the money', I'd take the month off - its hard as a fella to jot cause offence."

I'm sure I won't be the only one to find that comment offensive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a mixed viewpoint on a woman stating she wishes to pay her way. I like to maintain a level of independence myself, I find it patronising if a man thinks he can play the big I am by offering to pay especially when its someone you often don't know that well. Personally i do not see what is wrong though with a woman wanting a little independence. "

I would agree with that, there is a fine line between being generous and patronising someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone comes to my house they can expect to be fed. I don't expect them to fuck me in return.

I go to anyones house I take something, as I never go anywhere empty handed. I don't expect to be fed or fucked in return.

I meet in a pub/restaurant I pay my half so neither of us feel fucked by the other.

Only the individual can gauge their comfort level when socialising with regards of who pays for what is consumed.

If you want paying for 'consummation' or offer to pay then thats prostitution, I imagine.

My comments are on meeting swingers or non swingers. If we can't arrange something between ourselves in a social situation and know instictively via social reciprocation of the food/drink/take along gift if you're on the same wavelength or by observing someone hugging one drink because they can't afford it or or just tight, thats bad craic and social skills need polishing up.

Jaq's If you felt cheap then those are your feelings and you're entitled to them. I wouldn't meet anyone who offered to pay my way but I don't see their gesture as being bad, on the face of it. If you felt undercurrent then go with your guts instinct xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I am an old fashioned sort of person, If I ask some one to meet I dont expect them to go 50/50, if they do, great, if they dont, then no problem.

I dont go to a first meet expecting sex, dont get dissapointed then. if it happens then bonus, now a second meet, different matter all together,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I am an old fashioned sort of person, If I ask some one to meet I dont expect them to go 50/50, if they do, great, if they dont, then no problem.

I dont go to a first meet expecting sex, dont get dissapointed then. if it happens then bonus, now a second meet, different matter all together,

If Im with a friend and they offer to pay its a given I will pay next time or perhaps we just treat each other. You know yourself and your mates.

Meeting someone from the internet I would always keep it at a 50/50 level, even though most men are like yourself and offer. They don't usually insist and thats good social skills to. A question should only be asked and asnwered once over the bill

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By *ue care and attentionWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Having read all the threads on this post it strikes me that the fact that the meet is via a swinging site is the cucial factor...had this been a guy in the pub asking to take someone for a meal the reaction may have been different. Because the aim of the site is to meet people for sex then someone offering to pay, whether it be for a meal, hotel room or taxi etc suggests to me that they see that as the price they are willing to pay for sex?

I can see both sides of the argument here (splinters in bum) but have to say that if a guy offered to pay for a hotel room for a first time meet (if that is actually what the offer was) would cause me to decline the offer too.

Maybe us women are too independant in some ways and while some guys have the best of intentions, we tend to suspect alterier motives

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Because the aim of the site is to meet people for sex then someone offering to pay, whether it be for a meal, hotel room or taxi etc suggests to me that they see that as the price they are willing to pay for sex?"

And you think that if a bloke in a bar offers you drinks and/or a meal, it's NOT about sex? In most cases it is, but more in hope than surety!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"Having read all the threads on this post it strikes me that the fact that the meet is via a swinging site is the cucial factor...had this been a guy in the pub asking to take someone for a meal the reaction may have been different. Because the aim of the site is to meet people for sex then someone offering to pay, whether it be for a meal, hotel room or taxi etc suggests to me that they see that as the price they are willing to pay for sex?

Maybe us women are too independant in some ways and while some guys have the best of intentions, we tend to suspect alterier motives

Absolutely, the way I see it if I propose a meet, and I meet an objection I ask "Is this a legitimate reason or the person simply does not want to meet?"

If (I feel) I have a solution [to the objection] and the propsective meet is offended by my solution.. what then am I supposed to do??

If the issue is a venuw/meetingplace... and should the prospective meet be offended that I suggest my place?

If the issue isnothing to eat and I slap up a sandwich

or take for a dinner somewhere near (lavish or local shippy, the choice is yours) thats the way I (And I would guess most guys) would see it.. just that.

The issue of sex in return should not come in to it.. if it was ot meet for sex anyway then anything else is incidental.

So I'm thinking, would the person be offended by my "work around" solution,.. or merely offended at the prospect of having sex with me... I would guess the latter and the reason has nothign to do with it.

I can only try... or leave it and move on. That's how I'd look at it.

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