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"The rum is gone.......why has the run gone?  "Because the pirate drank it. The shop is open, get more. | |||
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"Help me honey. I may be addicted to Wotsits (and most other cheesy flavoured puffed snacks) "I don't know that I can help you, only cheesus can save you now.  | |||
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"I literally had to go and buy my own Lynx africa yesterday, I feel like I was too bad for santa "That is a shame indeed. Was it half price too? | |||
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"So, we've made it through Christmas. It can be a challenging time with all that drink and crazy family. Do you need help or advice? Somewhere to hide out? Tell me your woes " I can't fix your title with an apostrophe. | |||
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"The rum is gone.......why has the run gone?
Because the pirate drank it. The shop is open, get more."Bloody pirates! | |||
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"So, we've made it through Christmas. It can be a challenging time with all that drink and crazy family. Do you need help or advice? Somewhere to hide out? Tell me your woes I can't fix your title with an apostrophe." My phone is on top typo form today. Sorry  | |||
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"I watched the colour version of, It's a Wonderful Life." Perfect. I watched...nothing actually. One has been terribly sociable | |||
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"I’ve overdosed on afrer eight mints - I think I’m turning into a watery thin mint.... Help "I like to play a game where you put one on your forehead and have to get it in your mouth without using your hands | |||
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"Food coma incoming... help needed  "Quick get into my bed  | |||
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"Food coma incoming... help needed
Quick get into my bed "If you are sure it will help  | |||
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"I’ve overdosed on afrer eight mints - I think I’m turning into a watery thin mint.... Help
I like to play a game where you put one on your forehead and have to get it in your mouth without using your hands "BRB just getting an after eight mint  | |||
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise? " Norovirus will do the job for ya.  | |||
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"I need to find a way to remove hair off my xxxxxxx can you advise the bast solution " Pluck it like a turkey | |||
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"I keep looking at pictures pretty ladies and getting depressed. How can I break this habit?" Stop looking | |||
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"Food coma incoming... help needed
Quick get into my bed
If you are sure it will help "I'm certain of it | |||
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"I just feel a bit flat now after Christmas with my family as I'm by myself again now,shall I take down my xmas decorations? Weather is poo poo it's grey,windy and now started to snow by the looks of it,stuff going out to pick up my panto tickets "Put some music on, take them down if it helps and get out in the fresh air to blow the blues away  | |||
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"why is my Internet connection sooo slow when I'm trying to watch the grand tour? " Shit provider  | |||
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise? " Sex. All the sex | |||
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise? Norovirus will do the job for ya. " . Turkey in 2 days should do the job | |||
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"Help me honey. I may be addicted to Wotsits (and most other cheesy flavoured puffed snacks)
I don't know that I can help you, only cheesus can save you now. "Haha!! | |||
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I'm craving normal! | |||
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"Help me honey. I may be addicted to Wotsits (and most other cheesy flavoured puffed snacks)
I don't know that I can help you, only cheesus can save you now. "Lol | |||
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"I have gone round the shops - and found one item I wanted Addidas have got feck all on sale, Primani has loads of stuff but I have to carry it home " First world problems | |||
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies
I'm craving normal! "I'm having chocolate | |||
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies
I'm craving normal!
I'm having chocolate "Luxury chocolate biscuits here too - all gone now! Only the mince pies and Xmas cake to get rid of now. | |||
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies
I'm craving normal!
I'm having chocolate "I had chocolate cherry liqueurs. I decided as it contains fruit it's allowed | |||
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise? Sex. All the sex " Sadly for my waistline, flying solo doesn't seem to work | |||
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies
I'm craving normal!
I'm having chocolate
Luxury chocolate biscuits here too - all gone now! Only the mince pies and Xmas cake to get rid of now. "I've got too much food left. Peach You are going to have to help me. | |||
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"I have no actual normal food for breakfast. Just left over buffet and mince pies
I'm craving normal!
I'm having chocolate
I had chocolate cherry liqueurs. I decided as it contains fruit it's allowed " | |||
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"I think I've gained more than my holiday-allotted 10 pounds, now that Christmas is over. How do I get rid of it without doing any exercise? Sex. All the sex Sadly for my waistline, flying solo doesn't seem to work "Sit up wanking | |||
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"Hahaha, this made me laugh ?? I didn’t buy anyone Lynx this year??" I did. And I laughed muchly | |||
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"When I was in my childhood days one of my favourite story books was The Magic Porridge pot, about a pot that never stopped giving porridge. Do you know if its possible to get Prosecco bottles like this? "I wish!! | |||
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"My back hurts My bum hurts My pussy is aching and dripping out someone's cum My legs hurt I look and feel a mess And my hubby is in bed asleep so I can't shower yet incase I wake him up " I fail to see this as a problem | |||
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"I literally had to go and buy my own Lynx africa yesterday, I feel like I was too bad for santa "Lol my son said it wasn’t Christmas unless he had a Lynx Africa set. I was happy to oblige. | |||
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"I literally had to go and buy my own Lynx africa yesterday, I feel like I was too bad for santa
Lol my son said it wasn’t Christmas unless he had a Lynx Africa set. I was happy to oblige.
"I got the "black edition" | |||
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"My head hurts...can you take the hangover away please?! Geeky x" Have another drink | |||
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"Had a tooth out this morning. Dentist says I’ve to take it easy but I’m off to a club tonight. What position do you suggest Miss Honey so that I’m still following the dentist’s advice? " Missionary, doggy, basically make them do the work | |||
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"Not long got through a bad patch with depression but doing okay now. Put some new pics up trying to carry on as normal. Happy fabbing all" Welcome back and keep smiling | |||
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"After spending nearly 4 hours with Star Wars Lego, I’ve cone to realise that I don’t have all the pieces so can’t finish it, it’s the speederbike set for those who are interested "Shit | |||
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"I am at work. It's busy and I am on call tonight. Can you hide me away please?* *Not under the new patio at Honey towers." Come hide in my bed | |||
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"After 2 manic days with family I'm now home alone. Wait... that's not a problem "Sounds perfect | |||
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"I am not responsible for Secret Passions state of distress. " Cry wank | |||
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"As a single bloke on here starting to think there is something wrong with me haha not getting meets, messages etc yet when I first come on was beating them off haha .." Me too. Now I just embrace the fact that I am an old vagina. | |||
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"I am actually glad I don't need to drink until Sunday now "I haven't d*unk at all. | |||
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"As a single bloke on here starting to think there is something wrong with me haha not getting meets, messages etc yet when I first come on was beating them off haha .. Me too. Now I just embrace the fact that I am an old vagina. " You were closer I'd meet you  think that's what it Is, I'm knocking on now? haha | |||
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"I am at work. It's busy and I am on call tonight. Can you hide me away please?* *Not under the new patio at Honey towers. Come hide in my bed "Whoo duvet den! Do you have a torch? It'll be dark. | |||
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"I am at work. It's busy and I am on call tonight. Can you hide me away please?* *Not under the new patio at Honey towers. Come hide in my bed
Whoo duvet den! Do you have a torch? It'll be dark. "I eat my carrots, no need for a torch | |||
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"The fire needs a log adding, and there’s cellophane around the next box of chocolates. What am I to do?" Throw a log on and I'll open the cellophane | |||
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"The fire needs a log adding, and there’s cellophane around the next box of chocolates. What am I to do? Throw a log on and I'll open the cellophane " Deal x | |||
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"I have a dilemma...to wash my hair or wear a hat "Bobble beanie or baseball? | |||
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"I have a dilemma...to wash my hair or wear a hat "Hat everytime
Peach x | |||
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"I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I : 1. Have a snooze 2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one) 3. Prep dinner 4. Pour a gin and do some colouring. 5. Continue perving on here Help!! Peach x" You could combine 2 & 3 | |||
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"I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I : 1. Have a snooze 2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one) 3. Prep dinner 4. Pour a gin and do some colouring. 5. Continue perving on here Help!! Peach x You could combine 2 & 3 " HEALTH AND SAFETY ALERT!! I shall attempt it now... Peach x | |||
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"The rum is gone.......why has the run gone?
Because the pirate drank it. The shop is open, get more."No I didn't....
But getting more of anything is always good advice  | |||
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"I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I : 1. Have a snooze 2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one) 3. Prep dinner 4. Pour a gin and do some colouring. 5. Continue perving on here Help!! Peach x" Wank then gin | |||
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"I have a dilemma...to wash my hair or wear a hat
Bobble beanie or baseball?"Beanie | |||
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"So, we've made it through Christmas. It can be a challenging time with all that drink and crazy family. Do you need help or advice? Somewhere to hide out? Tell me your woes " I need help with a swelling that I would like to hide somewhere 
Grabs coat | |||
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"I have a dilemma Honey, an hour alone in the house, do I : 1. Have a snooze 2. Have a wank (I have already had a little one) 3. Prep dinner 4. Pour a gin and do some colouring. 5. Continue perving on here Help!! Peach x" Ok, do all of the above in this order 3, the first part of 4, 2 whilst doing 5, then 1. You're welcome. | |||
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"I now need to go out to get my massage after an insecure boyfriend vetoed a home visit. Im now thinking do I go and let his mind rest or cancel to make him think more was in the cards if a home visit happened. "Like you need to ask | |||
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"Had a tooth out this morning. Dentist says I’ve to take it easy but I’m off to a club tonight. What position do you suggest Miss Honey so that I’m still following the dentist’s advice? Missionary, doggy, basically make them do the work "Thanks Miss Honey | |||
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"I am at work. It's busy and I am on call tonight. Can you hide me away please?* *Not under the new patio at Honey towers. Come hide in my bed
Whoo duvet den! Do you have a torch? It'll be dark.
I eat my carrots, no need for a torch "Ahh. But then you may visage the horror of my countenance. | |||
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"I've drank far too much gin, I'm now running low & my next batch won't be ready til end of Jan. I may have to resort to buying gin Oh the woe! " I wonder if Discovery have a gap in their schedule for “South Coast Moonshiners” !! | |||
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