FabSwingers.com forum: friends lying to you..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I had to post this up as i feel like am being totally whack job here but how would you feel if a supposed friend who says they care about you continually seems to lies to you..even when you have proof in black and white or in color if it's on computer that they have been lying to you..they still deny it, you have given them chance after chance but they still lie to you..how would you deal with this..

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

F**k them off out of it

they're not your friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously not a true friend then honey

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By *resh freddieMan
over a year ago

Penistone

Some people do lie all the time. I used to have chap work with me who said deny everything no matter what. Even if caught red handed never admit it. Guess there are people like that. You have to decide if you want to still associate with this individual or not. Best of luck though xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its sad but it happens if you know for sure cool the friendship or stop it altoghether it anit worth it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its funny you post this... Your not a wacko, shows your human.

We also have a so called friend, one who is there anytime he needs something.. he lies, fibs and makes up stuff, drives us completely nuts, is never there when you need a shoulder, nor a favour and yet we still find ourselves loyal.. logic says tell them to fluck off.. in a way we want to, then.. we feel bloody sorry and don't.

Your no more wacko than us then...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"F**k them off out of it

they're not your friend

Totally agree, I don't have time for people like that. Friends come and go, there's no need to have a long list of them, just a shortlist of ones who you know you can trust and count on...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

he is says he cares for me and never hurt me but just keeps lying, he told me when he was on here he was only chatting to people but so far i've found out he was arranging mets with other girls on here behind my back! He also told me his friends were lying to me when they told me he was over in Ireland but then i see on another friends of his page him telling them that he was over in Ireland! now am getting made the fell like the bad one! I don't know what 2 do whatever i do i hurt someone!

I know i should just tell him where to shove but i stupid care for him! but tis been like this for over a year now just doesn't seem to stop!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wow.... its boiling in here. I need a drink pmsl.....

Whooooooooooooooooooooshhhh

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Only you can decide whats the best thing to do for you

step away from the situation or carry on feeling like you do now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

... and you may hurt someone, but by the sounds of it you are hurting yourself more by trying to be nice about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"he is says he cares for me and never hurt me but just keeps lying, he told me when he was on here he was only chatting to people but so far i've found out he was arranging mets with other girls on here behind my back! He also told me his friends were lying to me when they told me he was over in Ireland but then i see on another friends of his page him telling them that he was over in Ireland! now am getting made the fell like the bad one! I don't know what 2 do whatever i do i hurt someone!

I know i should just tell him where to shove but i stupid care for him! but tis been like this for over a year now just doesn't seem to stop!

x"
Sounds like he tells you he cares for you to keep him in your good books - I think he is just dangling you on a string so that you're there when he wants you. I know that 'bad boys' are attractive to some women, for some reason, but you are not happy and you need to get on with you life even if that means without him. Sorry to sound harsh, just my opinion. Hope it all works out for you

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

This is what can happen when people become emotionally involved with each other on a swinging site

This is a swinging site right?

or have I logged into a dating site by mistake?

To the OP to put it bluntly hes on here to meet and play with other people that is what the site is for

If hes hurting you in the process you really need to move on from him as I don't think it will get any better

good luck and I hope it works out for the best for you xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i know i should just tell him where to stick it.. but he ends up sucking back up then i feel bad.. arrghh! please someone just come rip my feelings out for me..xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know i should just tell him where to shove but i stupid care for him! but tis been like this for over a year now just doesn't seem to stop!

xSounds like he tells you he cares for you to keep him in your good books - I think he is just dangling you on a string so that you're there when he wants you. I know that 'bad boys' are attractive to some women, for some reason, but you are not happy and you need to get on with you life even if that means without him. Sorry to sound harsh, just my opinion. Hope it all works out for you

Ever heard the Phrase... Can't see the wood for the tree's??

From a mans perspective... and advice is cheap..

He's playin ya like a cheap fiddle.. and you let him, so he'll carry on, he'll tellyou what you want to hear, when you want to hear it and have an excuse for everything...

Now.. accept and take the scraps when thrown... OR get some self respect and leave well alone.

Just a simple mans perspective.. what do we know!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i know i should just tell him where to stick it.. but he ends up sucking back up then i feel bad.. arrghh! please someone just come rip my feelings out for me..xx"

You know you actually sound intelligent... Now prove it to yourself.. If your girl friends were doing what your doing what would you tell your friend to do???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know i should just tell him where to shove but i stupid care for him! but tis been like this for over a year now just doesn't seem to stop!

If you write the word 'Doormat' on your forehead don't be surprised if someone wipes their feet on you. He can omly operate in this way if you allow him to. Guess it's a no brainer what you should do next - but I bet you won't, which is surprising having read about the strong-willed woman you wrote about in your profile.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Best way to get over someone?

Get under someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him feck off, block his number on your phone, don't answer the door to him.

My last girlfriend did exactly the same to me, and the bit that hurts is the doubt it puts into yourself. Even now, three months down the line I still get the occassional nagging doubt that maybe it was me that was the bastard, and she was really telling the truth, even though I know full well she was lying through her teeth.

On the brightside, its because of her that I'm here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tell him feck off, block his number on your phone, don't answer the door to him.

On the brightside, its because of her that I'm here

"
That happened to me too years ago - I was with the guy for 5 years and looking back he did make me feel as if everything he did was my fault at the time - very mind twisting man but I just couldn't see it at the time. We live and learn though and now I couldn't be happier

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i know how the saying love is blind came around now...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the brightside, its because of her that I'm here

That happened to me too years ago - I was with the guy for 5 years and looking back he did make me feel as if everything he did was my fault at the time - very mind twisting man but I just couldn't see it at the time. We live and learn though and now I couldn't be happier

Mmmm Are we sure he's all to blame here... Sounds to me like she wants more.. he'll say anything not to cause upset.. and yes get a shag (Must be quite good then lol) but has he promised the world, promised to be faithful.. is she faithful.. or on a swingers site too???

Not being harsh at all... but come on smacks a bit of being one sided eh??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Acceptance is very liberating hun...ive been in a similiar scenario and told him 2 do one..be it eventually but it was the best thing i did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know him. Not seen the posts so don't know whether he's bad or sad or just hasn't the stomach for hurting a girl who is laying claim where she shouldn't. ( Im not accusing here im just saying just cos someone posts sommat doesn't mean it's all the facts n all perspectives ) You are not happy .... so stop having any kind of relationship with him ..... and incidentally ..... if you are getting hurt ... you don't see him as a friend - you see him as sommat else entirely. We get joy to see our loved ones and friends enjoying life we don't feel jealous n left out.

Look at all the good things about yourself and put them into finding a more fulfilling relationship. xxxx I'd lay a bet that if you don't contact him ... you won't hear from him xx Gran xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know i should just tell him where to shove but i stupid care for him! but tis been like this for over a year now just doesn't seem to stop!

i had a guy like that, kept saying we were friends, but didnt want me chattin and seein others...till i found out he was doing it, so i soon kicked him to the kerb...

best thing i ever did, im now having more fun with a guy i met on ere and its going great, difference between him and last guy is that i trust him...

if you dont have trust then no point and it obviously sounds like you dont trust him, believe you will get over him...

but dont let him belittle you and make you feel this way...

xxx

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"i know how the saying love is blind came around now...

you said on the thread .."friend" ..

is he a friend or is it committed relationship ...as a friend i don't see how he is really doing anything wrong, as you can not force him to stop seeing anyone, really .

If you came on as a relationship then maybe the time wasn't right or it was not equal ...either way you really have to sort it out with him ...if you have tried and he continues to deceive you then you know as others have said its time to let it go and move on.

just my tuppence worth and thats about its value xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i know how the saying love is blind came around now...

you said on the thread .."friend" ..

is he a friend or is it committed relationship ...as a friend i don't see how he is really doing anything wrong, as you can not force him to stop seeing anyone, really .

just my tuppence worth and thats about its value xx

"
i think some guys refer to it as friends with benefits, so he can have his cake and eat it...lol...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for listening to me!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Good luck and hope you decide to do the right thing for yourself and yourself only

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By *leasureDomeMan
over a year ago

all over the place

"i know how the saying love is blind came around now...

you said on the thread .."friend" ..

is he a friend or is it committed relationship ...as a friend i don't see how he is really doing anything wrong, as you can not force him to stop seeing anyone, really .

just my tuppence worth and thats about its value xx

i think some guys refer to it as friends with benefits, so he can have his cake and eat it...lol..."

i take your point yeah could be , but we dont know the other side of it ...it could of been lack of defining what the "friendship or relationship " was in the first place ..

either way good luck to you , hope you sort it out .

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

It sounds a bit like you want him for yourself, and he just wants to play. I am assuming you met him through this site, in which case either move on and play with others, or stop playing and go on a dating site instead.

As for the lying, thats not acceptable no matter what kind of a relationship you have with him, so tell him to be honest or you will block him.... simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everybody lies in varying degrees from little white ones to bloody great whoppers. No-one is completely honest.

Some lie to protect people they care about, some because they are worried about the outcome, etc etc.

If they are a friend, a true friend( varying degrees and different interpretations with regards swinging friends) then if you cant sort it, end it.

IF you are absolutely sure about the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some people just lie because thats their persona. there was a guy part of a couple who i got friendly with from a site. we chatted by phone and msn. anyhow via talking to mutual friends i found him out on many lies. so one evening decided to confront him. he tried to get out of the lies by saying that he had had a really bad day as it was. it was the anniversary of his fathers death. so i felt shit. he sent me a poem that he had said he had wrote just after his father had died. bearing in mind that i had made the mistake of telling personal stuff over something tragic that had happened in my life not long before. anyhow i read this poem and it was soo soooo sad, touching on what i personally had gone through. so i went back on msn feeling very low as it had taken me back to a place in my life that i didnt want to go to. so back on msn and this guy was suddenly really upbeat, happy go lucky. i thought wtf theres me sad and he is like that. so i googled the first line of the poem and it turns out it was wrote many years before by someone else. so i confronted the guy once again on msn and he constantly denied it. but to me he had used something personal i had gone thru to get out of his lies. well i had my rant and rave and did the only thing left to do. blocked and deleted and had nothing to do with him ever again. just thank my lucky stars i never got further down the line and met him

so what am getting at, some people just lie because its in their personality to do so

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