FabSwingers.com forum: I don't understand

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Where I'm going wrong.

I'm clearly efficient by the way I cut and paste my messages to save time.

The way I don't even bother to read profiles shows I was so attracted by their photos.

I only send pictures of my penis as its well known that's what the ladies want.

I ALWAYS message those requesting BBC as I too am a fan of EastEnders.

If I see a lady online I make sure to bombard her with messages so she knows I am interested.

Any tips please?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha nice one you'll do fine well of course excepting those without a sense of humour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m befuddled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Change ya avatar pic to a cock pic, it doesn’t have to be yours, and add 8 or 9 cock pics to your public gallery, your inbox will soon fill up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know where you're going wrong. You're not sending enough "Fancy a fuck?" messages

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Haha!! You clearly understand the school boy errors of the single man, you’re already ahead of the game.

Funny post

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Top much written on your profile, who can be bothered to read all that?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Where I'm going wrong.

I'm clearly efficient by the way I cut and paste my messages to save time.

The way I don't even bother to read profiles shows I was so attracted by their photos.

I only send pictures of my penis as its well known that's what the ladies want.

I ALWAYS message those requesting BBC as I too am a fan of EastEnders.

If I see a lady online I make sure to bombard her with messages so she knows I am interested.

Any tips please?"

It seems you're doing everything right,the women are just fickle bugger's on here. Have you tried men?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like an efficient man, you should put all that in your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thread going well so far - people must have let their humour out of the cupboard for xmas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You aren't offering wine you fool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thread going well so far - people must have let their humour out of the cupboard for xmas

"
exactly my thought it must be a virus

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

No sky remote comparison pic. That’s where you’re going wrong.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"thread going well so far - people must have let their humour out of the cupboard for xmas

exactly my thought it must be a virus

"
Offer Sausages then youve got Estella swooning

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By *anchester_gentMan
over a year ago

Manchester/ Cheshire border

Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

"
or with a sky remote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

Or buried in some random woman's arse, without a condom.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Show extra keenness by acquiring as much information about the needy woman as you can, potentially waiting with flowers outside her workplace, wearing the sent photo pinned to your hat.

If blocked, get mutual friends to arrange a blind date.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

Or buried in some random woman's arse, without a condom."

Goes without saying, due to a nasty latex allergy I only go bareback, but don't worry I always get tested, after 7 or 8 encounters.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Where I'm going wrong.

I'm clearly efficient by the way I cut and paste my messages to save time.

The way I don't even bother to read profiles shows I was so attracted by their photos.

I only send pictures of my penis as its well known that's what the ladies want.

I ALWAYS message those requesting BBC as I too am a fan of EastEnders.

If I see a lady online I make sure to bombard her with messages so she knows I am interested.

Any tips please?

It seems you're doing everything right,the women are just fickle bugger's on here. Have you tried men?"

I know right, some of these bitches need to get laid.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

Toilet must be unflushed. Arrange your wife's toiletries in the background, so she'll be confident you are a keeper

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

Toilet must be unflushed. Arrange your wife's toiletries in the background, so she'll be confident you are a keeper "

Wife? I'm obviously single... I just can't accomadate due to flatmates, and can only meet between the hours of midnight and 4am, and you can't wear perfume because of my allergies.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

You need to be sending a friend request BEFORE messaging, so you can check they are worth it, before wasting time with a c+p message. Schoolboy error.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need to be sending a friend request BEFORE messaging, so you can check they are worth it, before wasting time with a c+p message. Schoolboy error.

And a wink or just straight friend request?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Where I'm going wrong.

I'm clearly efficient by the way I cut and paste my messages to save time.

The way I don't even bother to read profiles shows I was so attracted by their photos.

I only send pictures of my penis as its well known that's what the ladies want.

I ALWAYS message those requesting BBC as I too am a fan of EastEnders.

If I see a lady online I make sure to bombard her with messages so she knows I am interested.

Any tips please?

It seems you're doing everything right,the women are just fickle bugger's on here. Have you tried men?

I know right, some of these bitches need to get laid."

I know and you're the man to do it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thread going well so far - people must have let their humour out of the cupboard for xmas

exactly my thought it must be a virus

Offer Sausages then youve got Estella swooning

just for the record i dont need sausages to have that effect on estelle

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"You need to be sending a friend request BEFORE messaging, so you can check they are worth it, before wasting time with a c+p message. Schoolboy error.

And a wink or just straight friend request?"

Both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where I'm going wrong.

I'm clearly efficient by the way I cut and paste my messages to save time.

The way I don't even bother to read profiles shows I was so attracted by their photos.

I only send pictures of my penis as its well known that's what the ladies want.

I ALWAYS message those requesting BBC as I too am a fan of EastEnders.

If I see a lady online I make sure to bombard her with messages so she knows I am interested.

Any tips please?"

This should be put in the fab rules of how a single man should behave on here if they want to meet women.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

You need to put stuff in about how your wife is lovely but doesn't know you are on here, don't forget to mention how honest you are.

Oh and that you only do bareback.

And that you are fab straight.

Thank me later...

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Oh, if you message a couple, make sure you only address the woman. She just needs to know how hard you can make her cum, the male half doesn't need to be involved in that chit-chat

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Another hot tip is to get a photo when you're balls deep (uncovered, naturally) in some bloke, holding a note with her username stating that it should be her you're impregnating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh, if you message a couple, make sure you only address the woman. She just needs to know how hard you can make her cum, the male half doesn't need to be involved in that chit-chat

He needs to message the male half to tell him he’ll show him how to really satisfy his wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

Or buried in some random woman's arse, without a condom.

Goes without saying, due to a nasty latex allergy I only go bareback, but don't worry I always get tested, after 7 or 8 encounters."

And scrub with Dettol obviously.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"Oh, if you message a couple, make sure you only address the woman. She just needs to know how hard you can make her cum, the male half doesn't need to be involved in that chit-chat

He needs to message the male half to tell him he’ll show him how to really satisfy his wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let us women know how many orgasms you're going to give us too.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Oh, if you message a couple, make sure you only address the woman. She just needs to know how hard you can make her cum, the male half doesn't need to be involved in that chit-chat

He needs to message the male half to tell him he’ll show him how to really satisfy his wife

Good idea. We sometimes get a message like 'your gorgeous, I'd love to make you come'.

I (mr) will reply 'cheers mate, I'm straight though'.

So, explaining to the male half the lesson in fucking he's going to witness might be a good tactic.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Let us women know how many orgasms you're going to give us too. "

and how much he's going to make us squirt,because as we all know every woman wants to squirt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

put your kik username in your opening message, then bombard the ladies with messages as soon as they add you.

That way they know you are keen and that they are truly special

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another hot tip is to get a photo when you're balls deep (uncovered, naturally) in some bloke, holding a note with her username stating that it should be her you're impregnating. "

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

don't forget to let them know you can lick for hours

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

You’ve not given the dimensions of your dick, used the word ‘girthy’ or said if you’re a heavy cummer

Also, your status doesn’t say something enticing like ‘need 2 blw me load in a birds mouth 2nite, ne t8krs?’

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

forgot to remind you to mention 420 friendly, so the druggies aren't left out.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Offer free cake with every meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Let us women know how many orgasms you're going to give us too. "

Don't be silly, its only mine that matter.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"It seems you're doing everything right,the women are just fickle bugger's on here. Have you tried men?"

Don't worry, you can have as much sex with other men as you like and still be straight. Just don't tell anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"don't forget to let them know you can lick for hours"

Yeah

With your expert tounge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't improve on perfection, buddy, you've got it all covered. If you inbox isn't busting, they must be all frigid!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No sky remote comparison pic. That’s where you’re going wrong."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

Toilet must be unflushed. Arrange your wife's toiletries in the background, so she'll be confident you are a keeper

Wife? I'm obviously single... I just can't accomadate due to flatmates, and can only meet between the hours of midnight and 4am, and you can't wear perfume because of my allergies."

Knee deep in clunge

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don’t forget to include a picture of you having sex, where you’ve left your socks on....

And one of your cock with either the toilet or a pile of filthy clothes in the background!

Toilet must be unflushed. Arrange your wife's toiletries in the background, so she'll be confident you are a keeper

Wife? I'm obviously single... I just can't accomadate due to flatmates, and can only meet between the hours of midnight and 4am, and you can't wear perfume because of my allergies.

Knee deep in clunge"

I was just aiming for balls deep, knee deep is pretty kinky, even for me.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Let us women know how many orgasms you're going to give us too.

Don't be silly, its only mine that matter."

Ah fair point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Where I'm going wrong.

I'm clearly efficient by the way I cut and paste my messages to save time.

The way I don't even bother to read profiles shows I was so attracted by their photos.

I only send pictures of my penis as its well known that's what the ladies want.

I ALWAYS message those requesting BBC as I too am a fan of EastEnders.

If I see a lady online I make sure to bombard her with messages so she knows I am interested.

Any tips please?"
I think its the face pic do away with that they don't wanna see what you look like

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Top much written on your profile, who can be bothered to read all that?

Shall change it to, "Has Penis, check deodorant can comparison photo for proof of girth, who wants to drain my balls"

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By *rtemis-AkelaCouple
over a year ago

Wigan, Liverpool

Have you put in your profile how you cum bucket loads and sent in messages that her cunt is so pretty you would eat your own spunk from her?

Ladies love those kind of descriptive and complimentary messages like that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you put in your profile how you cum bucket loads and sent in messages that her cunt is so pretty you would eat your own spunk from her?

Ladies love those kind of descriptive and complimentary messages like that

Hi, I noticed you're a couple, as you're on a swingers site I'm assuming the husband isn't fulfilling your needs, if you like I would happily come round and show him how to degrade and abuse his spouse, after she's got me a beer. It does say straight on my profile but if he wants to guide my penis inside of you, I guess I'm okay with that.

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By *rtemis-AkelaCouple
over a year ago

Wigan, Liverpool

How did you know that is the exact reason why we are here?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How did you know that is the exact reason why we are here?

Skills.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Oh loved this thread,

Now if you'd include a pic of those thighs in stockings, you'd have totaly won me over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what's missing

A veri from a man saying you give amazing head. But make it clear on your profile you are straight. Admit your married but the wife is off sex/had surgery so can't have sex anymore but knows your on here. Then demand discretion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh loved this thread,

Now if you'd include a pic of those thighs in stockings, you'd have totaly won me over

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh loved this thread,

Now if you'd include a pic of those thighs in stockings, you'd have totaly won me over

Bring a pair of yours round and let's make it happen.

As for wife, its fine, she knows I'm here and is totally happy with it, although its not okay for her to do same.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Don't forget to bombard women with messages saying that you are horny NOW, and can they come to you immediately for sex.

Preferably while parked up in your lorry, at the truck stop

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't forget to bombard women with messages saying that you are horny NOW, and can they come to you immediately for sex.

Preferably while parked up in your lorry, at the truck stop

Maybe they need a little encouragement, I'll have to start offering money and drugs to have sex with me. Chicks dig being made to feel like objects.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh loved this thread,

Now if you'd include a pic of those thighs in stockings, you'd have totaly won me over

Bring a pair of yours round and let's make it happen.

As for wife, its fine, she knows I'm here and is totally happy with it, although its not okay for her to do same."
ah double standards eh

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

It is genuinely important to be genuine and only looking for genuinely genuine women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is genuinely important to be genuine and only looking for genuinely genuine women. "
do we have a scale for genuinely genuine?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

" do we have a scale for genuinely genuine?

Obviously you must be 110% genuine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" do we have a scale for genuinely genuine?

Obviously you must be 110% genuine."
ah right I get that but on a scale of say 1 - 7 seven being low how genuine can you be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is genuinely important to be genuine and only looking for genuinely genuine women. "

It's generally genuinely important to be a generally genuine gentleman whilst looking for generally genuine women. Say that three times fast!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It is genuinely important to be genuine and only looking for genuinely genuine women.

It's generally genuinely important to be a generally genuine gentleman whilst looking for generally genuine women. Say that three times fast!

That three times fast!

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Don't forget to update your status reguarly with rants about women been rude or stuck up too

that helps

Miss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Don't forget to update your status reguarly with rants about women been rude or stuck up too

that helps

Miss"

I know right! Stuck up bitches not replying to my hundreds of messages, how dare they!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I shall start messaging those ignorant ladies back telling them how in fact I wasn't even attracted to them in the first place and the sight of them makes me want to vomit in my own mouth.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"I shall start messaging those ignorant ladies back telling them how in fact I wasn't even attracted to them in the first place and the sight of them makes me want to vomit in my own mouth."

You've got it sussed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And tell the ladies u can pull ugly bitches any time your not desperate for a sympathy fuck just yet

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"I know what's missing

To be totally straight he needs a pic of a BBC rammed deep into his arse while the guys clackers are smacking his arse cheeks with immense velocity.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"forgot to remind you to mention 420 friendly, so the druggies aren't left out."

But you must also clearly state that you're D&D free and are a non smoker.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

O.P..... You never mentioned once that you go to the G.U.M clinic every decade whether you've barebacked strangers or not!

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

"Bareback?"

Sending this message will guarantee you at least a dozen shags a day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"O.P..... You never mentioned once that you go to the G.U.M clinic every decade whether you've barebacked strangers or not!"

Its fine, I always pull out so totally no risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG, soo funny!!

Just to add, when a lady bothers to reply to say she’s not interested just keep bombarding her with messages anyway..... she’s bound to give in and suddenly fall for your charm and persistence anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OMG, soo funny!!

You so want me to message you. I'll get around to it later, just wait your turn Missy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't forget to plait your anus hair.

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