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Who pays?

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By *hinypants77 OP   Man
over a year ago

Leeds

On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts?

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By *arciocialWoman
over a year ago

Leicester

I've never been on a date, but when I go out with friends or a social I always offer. But like you, I wouldn't be buying them all night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should be 50/50 surely?

This isn't the dark ages... Women should pay half... Simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was bought evening meal, must admit I "felt" a little uncomfortable about it as it was the first time it had happened to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd always offer but I do like when a man insists on paying.

I like being treated sometimes. Id make sure I paid next time though.

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By *ltravioletWoman
over a year ago

In amongst the Unicorns & fairy dust

I wouldn’t arrange to meet if I couldnt afford to buy drinks on here or real world and if a meal is involved I always insist on going halves, if the other person insists they pay I would pay the next time ,,,

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows


"I wouldn’t arrange to meet if I couldnt afford to buy drinks on here or real world and if a meal is involved I always insist on going halves, if the other person insists they pay I would pay the next time ,,, "

This xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If out on a social I will always pay for whoever i am entertaining... it's respectful, also the way I was brought up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been on a couple of socials and the man has always paid (not that I haven’t offered) with Ads when we went on our first social we both bought drinks.

Geeky x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that women should share with costs although I do feel compelled to pay on the 1st few dates at least possibly because I'm moulded by what society deems to be right

If I think I'm gettin the piss taken out of me though I drop em like a hot coal no matter who it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never meet anyone for the size of their wallet... their heart is always bigger

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By *lk GuyMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I will offer to buy first drink but that's your lot...all this gentleman stuff went out with dark ages

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

If a lady can't afford to put her hand in her purse and buy me a pickled egg and a bag of pork scratchings, then it's a deal breaker as far as I'm concerned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree that women should share with costs although I do feel compelled to pay on the 1st few dates at least possibly because I'm moulded by what society deems to be right

If I think I'm gettin the piss taken out of me though I drop em like a hot coal no matter who it is"

Good for you too many women do take the piss these days...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never meet anyone for the size of their wallet... their heart is always bigger "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They should pay for everything. They need to pay for the pleasure of my company and my delightful conversation

(I may just be joking)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wasn't bought up to be a tightwad so I wouldn't expect a lady to pay. Its nice if they offer but I'd politely decline.

Cee

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I always pay for all drinks....But one’s all she’s getting

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Was bought evening meal, must admit I "felt" a little uncomfortable about it as it was the first time it had happened to me."

I feel uncomfortable like that every time a man insists on paying.

I went on a date last week and the guy insisted on paying, which made me uncomfortable. So I just walked out and left him to it. He clearly didn't respect me enough to let me pay half, as I expressed was my wish, so I figured he wouldn't respect me if we got into bed.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight


"Was bought evening meal, must admit I "felt" a little uncomfortable about it as it was the first time it had happened to me.

I feel uncomfortable like that every time a man insists on paying.

I went on a date last week and the guy insisted on paying, which made me uncomfortable. So I just walked out and left him to it. He clearly didn't respect me enough to let me pay half, as I expressed was my wish, so I figured he wouldn't respect me if we got into bed."
If a bloke cannot see what the percieved obligation on a woman is, by ignoring the wishes of her insisting on paying her share and how she may feel about this, needs to look at themselves.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Was bought evening meal, must admit I "felt" a little uncomfortable about it as it was the first time it had happened to me.

I feel uncomfortable like that every time a man insists on paying.

I went on a date last week and the guy insisted on paying, which made me uncomfortable. So I just walked out and left him to it. He clearly didn't respect me enough to let me pay half, as I expressed was my wish, so I figured he wouldn't respect me if we got into bed. If a bloke cannot see what the percieved obligation on a woman is, by ignoring the wishes of her insisting on paying her share and how she may feel about this, needs to look at themselves. "

And yet so often on this website it is touted as appropriate behaviour (and "chivalrous") that the man pays for everytbing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was bought evening meal, must admit I "felt" a little uncomfortable about it as it was the first time it had happened to me.

I feel uncomfortable like that every time a man insists on paying.

I went on a date last week and the guy insisted on paying, which made me uncomfortable. So I just walked out and left him to it. He clearly didn't respect me enough to let me pay half, as I expressed was my wish, so I figured he wouldn't respect me if we got into bed. If a bloke cannot see what the percieved obligation on a woman is, by ignoring the wishes of her insisting on paying her share and how she may feel about this, needs to look at themselves.

And yet so often on this website it is touted as appropriate behaviour (and "chivalrous") that the man pays for everytbing."

As far as I'm concerned, offering to pay on a date is the right thing to do, that's the way I was bought up, but it's not a black and white issue, at the same time I feel more comfortable I'm paying for the meal and drinks, I'm not looking to push the issue if it makes my date feel uncomfortable.

I think it foreshadows the way the relationship will be if you both can't compromise on the first date, then there shouldn't be a second

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id i ask a lady on a date I'd pay.. If it was mutually arranged I'd still offer to pay but would go halves if the lady wanted to.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts? "

I quite agree.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"

As far as I'm concerned, offering to pay on a date is the right thing to do, that's the way I was bought up, "

Me too. That's why I do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should be 50/50 surely?

This isn't the dark ages... Women should pay half... Simples "

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Was bought evening meal, must admit I "felt" a little uncomfortable about it as it was the first time it had happened to me.

I feel uncomfortable like that every time a man insists on paying.

I went on a date last week and the guy insisted on paying, which made me uncomfortable. So I just walked out and left him to it. He clearly didn't respect me enough to let me pay half, as I expressed was my wish, so I figured he wouldn't respect me if we got into bed."

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

If she offers to buy a drink that's great, if not I don't mind buying. It shouldn't be a problem unless she's on her 8th drink when it gets a bit expensive but by that stage I don't think I want the evening to continue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id i ask a lady on a date I'd pay.. If it was mutually arranged I'd still offer to pay but would go halves if the lady wanted to."

You're from Yorkshire I'm amazed you offered to go halves!

I'm old school and insist on paying every time. It's nice if a woman offers to chip in but I flatly refuse (in a nice way of course!). I dated a girl a couple of years back who never once offered to pay for anything though after 4 or 5 dates. She was full as dishwater as well so I can't believe I spent my hard earned on her for that long!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*dull

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always pay my own way on socials. There's no expectation then or a feeling like I owe something in return.

Luckily it's never been made an issue of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not impressed if they want to meal in fast food resteraunts. I'll buy, but probably not snogging her until she wipes the BBQ sauce from her chin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forget my wallet

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Id i ask a lady on a date I'd pay.. If it was mutually arranged I'd still offer to pay but would go halves if the lady wanted to.

You're from Yorkshire I'm amazed you offered to go halves!

I'm old school and insist on paying every time. It's nice if a woman offers to chip in but I flatly refuse (in a nice way of course!). I dated a girl a couple of years back who never once offered to pay for anything though after 4 or 5 dates. She was full as dishwater as well so I can't believe I spent my hard earned on her for that long!! "

I often find that "old school" is just another word for chauvinistic.

Although I must confess that I laughed at your post stating you always pay and then whining that someone let you pay for four or five dates... perhaps you might learn a lesson there, eh?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I will take turns in paying if it's a regular thing (although sometimes I leave my purse at home lol)

On a date or a social I'd definitely offer and insist I pay my way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'd always offer but I do like when a man insists on paying.

I like being treated sometimes. Id make sure I paid next time though. "
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id i ask a lady on a date I'd pay.. If it was mutually arranged I'd still offer to pay but would go halves if the lady wanted to.

You're from Yorkshire I'm amazed you offered to go halves!

I'm old school and insist on paying every time. It's nice if a woman offers to chip in but I flatly refuse (in a nice way of course!). I dated a girl a couple of years back who never once offered to pay for anything though after 4 or 5 dates. She was full as dishwater as well so I can't believe I spent my hard earned on her for that long!!

I often find that "old school" is just another word for chauvinistic.

Although I must confess that I laughed at your post stating you always pay and then whining that someone let you pay for four or five dates... perhaps you might learn a lesson there, eh?"

Chauvinistic? I dunno, maybe it is, but not intended in an offensive way. I also like to open doors for women etc and guess I'm a bit of an old school romantic. I guess I'll have to relax those views if it genuine pisses people off but it's never come to that quite yet.

As for the "learning a lesson", nah she was just so fucking boring!!

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Id i ask a lady on a date I'd pay.. If it was mutually arranged I'd still offer to pay but would go halves if the lady wanted to.

You're from Yorkshire I'm amazed you offered to go halves!

I'm old school and insist on paying every time. It's nice if a woman offers to chip in but I flatly refuse (in a nice way of course!). I dated a girl a couple of years back who never once offered to pay for anything though after 4 or 5 dates. She was full as dishwater as well so I can't believe I spent my hard earned on her for that long!!

I often find that "old school" is just another word for chauvinistic.

Although I must confess that I laughed at your post stating you always pay and then whining that someone let you pay for four or five dates... perhaps you might learn a lesson there, eh?

Chauvinistic? I dunno, maybe it is, but not intended in an offensive way. I also like to open doors for women etc and guess I'm a bit of an old school romantic. I guess I'll have to relax those views if it genuine pisses people off but it's never come to that quite yet.

As for the "learning a lesson", nah she was just so fucking boring!! "

So you paid for four or five dates even though she was "fucking boring"? Mate, I think you've got more money than sense!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Id i ask a lady on a date I'd pay.. If it was mutually arranged I'd still offer to pay but would go halves if the lady wanted to.

You're from Yorkshire I'm amazed you offered to go halves!

I'm old school and insist on paying every time. It's nice if a woman offers to chip in but I flatly refuse (in a nice way of course!). I dated a girl a couple of years back who never once offered to pay for anything though after 4 or 5 dates. She was full as dishwater as well so I can't believe I spent my hard earned on her for that long!!

I often find that "old school" is just another word for chauvinistic.

Although I must confess that I laughed at your post stating you always pay and then whining that someone let you pay for four or five dates... perhaps you might learn a lesson there, eh?

Chauvinistic? I dunno, maybe it is, but not intended in an offensive way. I also like to open doors for women etc and guess I'm a bit of an old school romantic. I guess I'll have to relax those views if it genuine pisses people off but it's never come to that quite yet.

As for the "learning a lesson", nah she was just so fucking boring!!

So you paid for four or five dates even though she was "fucking boring"? Mate, I think you've got more money than sense!"

I was flattered, she was younger and obviously swayed by her looks. If you're after a rise you're looking in the wrong place "mate"!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No free loaders - share the costs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going Dutch is best, however as a couple if we meet another couple we agree on 50/50.

If we meet a single lady/guy it’s our treat. But we find single guys are much more willing to buy drinks all round.

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

On a social or a date I would always offer to pay for the first drink. If it's going well I might buy the second but after that it should be shared.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I've had women pay for drinks and nights out and I have to say it didn't motivate me to sleep with them, more the opposite in fact. Not because of any gender roles - more because my hand couldn't touch my wallet to get a simple round in, no matter how long we were out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always go halves, we are all equal nowadays and people should pay for there own shit on a first date as there is no commitment yet and could end the night going your own separate ways never to be seen again. A first date is when people are meant to be at there nicest and if a woman isn't even going to offer to pay her half of "our" bill then what does that say about her? If all goes well then you can offer to pay the next date to show you like eachother.

I had a date with a woman who ordered all the expensive food on the menu, bottles after bottles of expensive wine and the cost was ridiculous, when the bill came she just looked and slid the bill over to me, she hadn't even brought her purse with her as she expects the man to pay for everything, I paid for my half of the bill and walked out leaving her there with no money to pay for her own. Bitch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always offer to pay...

Though I know some guys prefer to treat the ladies they meet, so I won't argue...I'll just make sure I get a round in while he's in the loo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts? "

Disagree, call me old fashioned but I would never expect or allow a woman to buy me a drink! I would be offended if that happened. It’s a gentleman thing!!

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

In this society even when a man and woman are doing the same job, e.g tv presenter or radio presenter , a job that requires no physical strength, where the man and woman are sitting on the same sofa, the man is still payed much higher than the ladies, so to preach we are equal is a bit unfair to the ladies.

Food and drinks is the lowest level of something people should be sharing especially if the man called the date, I believe the man should pay for this , now if the woman calls the date and she is well off and she insists on paying the full bill that is a different case.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"In this society even when a man and woman are doing the same job, e.g tv presenter or radio presenter , a job that requires no physical strength, where the man and woman are sitting on the same sofa, the man is still payed much higher than the ladies, so to preach we are equal is a bit unfair to the ladies.

Food and drinks is the lowest level of something people should be sharing especially if the man called the date, I believe the man should pay for this , now if the woman calls the date and she is well off and she insists on paying the full bill that is a different case."

We'll never find equality at work if blokes don't treat women as their equal socially.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts?

Disagree, call me old fashioned but I would never expect or allow a woman to buy me a drink! I would be offended if that happened. It’s a gentleman thing!!"

I'm not going to call you old fashioned, I'm going to call you selfish for putting your own feelings above those of a woman who might want to pay her own way.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts?

Disagree, call me old fashioned but I would never expect or allow a woman to buy me a drink! I would be offended if that happened. It’s a gentleman thing!!"

No, no really it isn't a gentleman thing

It's an antiquated and condescending thing

I am very much a gentleman that is I'm polite and respectful to all people

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Well in my opinion I don't think it looks nice when I see a man and woman sharing bills, if I call a date I would take the lady to a place I can afford and pay the full bill, I would expect same from the ladies. If the lady cannot afford a place and wants us to go there then that is a different scenario, she is asking me to take her on a date somewhere and in that case I will pay the full bill if I accept.

The idea of going to an expensive restuarant and sharing bills does not look nice to me, it is far better to find ones level at the time and accept it , when the level of the bigger place arrives you will go there and not need any bill sharing. This goes for both guys and ladies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never been on a date, but on a social I am not comfortable with being paid for so always offer to pay half, unless I am sure we will be seeing eachother again, then I pay next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put everything on the tab for the night and then at the end of the evening make out you forgot your wallet and get her to pay. Only works if you're a Jaguar owner and a bit of a cad according to Clarkson.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/604LyPbRS0U

Covers it nicely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts?

Disagree, call me old fashioned but I would never expect or allow a woman to buy me a drink! I would be offended if that happened. It’s a gentleman thing!!

I'm not going to call you old fashioned, I'm going to call you selfish for putting your own feelings above those of a woman who might want to pay her own way."

And in turn a woman who insists on paying half, or for her own is selfishly putting her own comfort before that of her date, like I said, if a compromise can't be reached on a first date there shouldn't be a second.

I see nothing wrong with a woman wanting to pay her half of the bill, but I refuse to accept that just for uttering the words "I'll get this" that it makes me a footsoldier of the patriarchy, especially when how you have described the scenario reads.

Woman pays: showing she is a strong independent woman of means, who in no way shape or form needs a man to look after her or validate her in any way.

Man pays: out of touch patriarchal wanker.

It's called equality for a reason, and we need to not lose sight of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always offer to pay...

Though I know some guys prefer to treat the ladies they meet, so I won't argue...I'll just make sure I get a round in while he's in the loo "

This is the best way to do it!!!! TEQUILA!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts? "
I agree with you.

I prefer if I can pay first but if he gets there first it's important for me to buy the next cuppa.

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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

I don’t think there a set rule just as long as no one expects the other to pay for everything, just go with the flow and don’t be a dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always offer to pay...

Though I know some guys prefer to treat the ladies they meet, so I won't argue...I'll just make sure I get a round in while he's in the loo

This is the best way to do it!!!! TEQUILA!!!!"

Yes!!!!

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

Been over 30yrs since on date & we have joint account lol. If were with another couple, take it turns to pay, so same thing suppose

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Well in my opinion I don't think it looks nice when I see a man and woman sharing bills"

Why do you care so much about what other people think? Are you ashamed if people see you splitting the bill?

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts?

Disagree, call me old fashioned but I would never expect or allow a woman to buy me a drink! I would be offended if that happened. It’s a gentleman thing!!

I'm not going to call you old fashioned, I'm going to call you selfish for putting your own feelings above those of a woman who might want to pay her own way.

And in turn a woman who insists on paying half, or for her own is selfishly putting her own comfort before that of her date, like I said, if a compromise can't be reached on a first date there shouldn't be a second.

I see nothing wrong with a woman wanting to pay her half of the bill, but I refuse to accept that just for uttering the words "I'll get this" that it makes me a footsoldier of the patriarchy, especially when how you have described the scenario reads.

Woman pays: showing she is a strong independent woman of means, who in no way shape or form needs a man to look after her or validate her in any way.

Man pays: out of touch patriarchal wanker.

It's called equality for a reason, and we need to not lose sight of that"

I've never said that about a woman.

I think that people should split bills equally. As you said - it's called equality for a reason.

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By *hinypants77 OP   Man
over a year ago

Leeds

If you’re meeting in a bar, whoever gets there first should definitely get the other person a drink. Saves time quing at the bar again.

She was early and got herself a drink but not me! I then got the next four rounds.

I’ve no issue paying at all but if she doesn’t even offer to buy a round the whole night then I think she’s just taking advantage. If she’s selfish with drinks then who know what else she’s selfish with.

Taking it it turns is the way to do it imo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on who you meet. Some are very insistent on being the one to pay. I've been In a situation where I've bought the drinks, as they are a bit skint at the time. Where we've taken it in turns. Or when they've insisted on paying. It's horses for courses. For me, it's about the interaction itself. Not so much about payment methods . I can see your point though OP. Whoever arrives first, should get the round in haha. Not just sit there, nursing their own.I'd always ask what their poison was, just on case I got there first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/12/17 21:03:45]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do the right thing and offer to pay my way. But thats because it’s the decent thing to do for the guy. However I will be extremely flattered if he insists on paying, as guys don’t have to do that these days. Personally experience is that I’ve been treated better and with more respect by guys who are more old fashioned in their dating etiquette. Men I’ve been involved with have always regarded me as a competent and independent woman, so when a man considers me worth treating when he knows he doesn’t have to, then I know his intentions are genuine.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A gent pays but if a lady offers that's the polite thing to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If out on a social I will always pay for whoever i am entertaining... it's respectful, also the way I was brought up. "

The man in my family are of this mind. I've only ever associated with men of this calibre x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the first meeting I always insist on choosing from the menu and paying the bill, I dont really understand what the fuss is about. I even offer to supersize the Big Mac if I think it's going to be a long night.

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By *inglehotchickWoman
over a year ago

blackpool

I always offer to buy a drink. Just think it’s good manners

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"If out on a social I will always pay for whoever i am entertaining... it's respectful, also the way I was brought up.

The man in my family are of this mind. I've only ever associated with men of this calibre x"

But you were brought up to be special and not like the men in your family? Why, they didn't think you'd be successful enough to be able to go halves?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always offer to buy a drink. Just think it’s good manners "

I always offer to pay, but if a lady wants to go 50/50 that's fine...

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"I do the right thing and offer to pay my way. But thats because it’s the decent thing to do for the guy. However I will be extremely flattered if he insists on paying, as guys don’t have to do that these days. Personally experience is that I’ve been treated better and with more respect by guys who are more old fashioned in their dating etiquette. Men I’ve been involved with have always regarded me as a competent and independent woman, so when a man considers me worth treating when he knows he doesn’t have to, then I know his intentions are genuine.

Mrs"

Yes this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If out on a social I will always pay for whoever i am entertaining... it's respectful, also the way I was brought up.

The man in my family are of this mind. I've only ever associated with men of this calibre x

But you were brought up to be special and not like the men in your family? Why, they didn't think you'd be successful enough to be able to go halves?"

It's exactly as the gentleman said "it's respectful". If you knew me you'd know that I'm far from a princess AND I pay my way with everything as I'm a single and independent woman. Be careful jumping to conclusions and assuming. We are all special my dear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to have a female friend who had major money "issues"

It wasn't that she had any less money than me - it was that she was always worried about spending hers.

We are no longer friends.

Money issues are boring - and a tight ass is just as unattractive than someone that has questionable hygiene

Bore off!

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"If out on a social I will always pay for whoever i am entertaining... it's respectful, also the way I was brought up.

The man in my family are of this mind. I've only ever associated with men of this calibre x

But you were brought up to be special and not like the men in your family? Why, they didn't think you'd be successful enough to be able to go halves?

It's exactly as the gentleman said "it's respectful". If you knew me you'd know that I'm far from a princess AND I pay my way with everything as I'm a single and independent woman. Be careful jumping to conclusions and assuming. We are all special my dear. "

Why is it respectful for men to pay but not women?

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By *ames1763Man
over a year ago

Aberdeen

It's not a matter of being bothered about what people think and infact am not bothered at all, it's a matter of principle for me and I don't like the look of sharing bills it , it looks fake to me and am real.

If I ever find myself in a situation where a lady is asking me to share bills ,I would tell her not to worry and pay the full bill. I don't like half or a part of anything, it's either the whole thing or nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love threads like this to get people arguing especially about gender and equality.

The amount of you guys that want to be a gentleman and insist on paying for everything is ridiculous, having a vagina doesn't entitle her to anything and isn't an excuse for her getting a free ride, taking advantage of your stupidity and definitely in no way makes her the lady you think she is. Think of how much money you have wasted over the years on dates that have gotten you nowhere, being a gentleman and getting nothing in return. Yes we all like to make a good impression on a first date but isn't that what having simple manners is for? They are only women, they are not the little helpless creatures you think they are that need you looking after them, they are actually quite capable of looking after themselves and paying there own way, some of them even have jobs and own houses, they can drive cars and everything operating in amongst society, crazy right! If you truly feel the need to be a true gentleman and treat your woman right then save all that shit for when you actually have a girlfriend, but don't waste your effort and money on just another first date because chances are its only ever going to be just that, another first date and she's not the one your going to be with.

Also ladies, how about you pay or at least offer to pay the whole entire bill on a date for once, would be a nice surprise for the man for a change and shows him that you enjoyed your first date together, also shows that you have your shit together and not just another bitch in a long string of bitches only looking for a free meal. If women done this more often then the man in their lives would be more likely to treat them to a nice evening out every now and then.

It's kinda hard to eliminate sexism and have a gender equal world when most women out there are constantly happy to make themselves look the weaker sex.

... ok, rant over

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"

Also ladies, how about you pay or at least offer to pay the whole entire bill on a date for once, would be a nice surprise for the man for a change and shows him that you enjoyed your first date together, also shows that you have your shit together and not just another bitch in a long string of bitches only looking for a free meal. "

I understand that you're trying to be a good ally - but please don't refer to women as 'bitches'. It's really unpleasant and is just another piece of sexism.

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

bin her off and come on fab, free pussy then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50/50 all the way... I'm not scared to put my hand in my purse.. Rebecca

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"

Also ladies, how about you pay or at least offer to pay the whole entire bill on a date for once, would be a nice surprise for the man for a change and shows him that you enjoyed your first date together, also shows that you have your shit together and not just another bitch in a long string of bitches only looking for a free meal.

I understand that you're trying to be a good ally - but please don't refer to women as 'bitches'. It's really unpleasant and is just another piece of sexism."

Who the heck wrote that?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a tad old fashioned and always pay for a meal and or a drink or two. It just seems the right thing to do. A lady deserves to be treated as a lady.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Im a tad old fashioned and always pay for a meal and or a drink or two. It just seems the right thing to do. A lady deserves to be treated as a lady."

A lady deserves to be treated as someone who cannot possibly earn enough money to pay halves on a date?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On a date I always offer to buy drinks.

Not impressed if a girl doesn’t even offer to buy a drink the whole night though. Seems a bit selfish.

Thoughts? "

Dear A

Seemingly I come from another era or maybe a different planet in so far as if I meet a lady for drinks or lunch I wouldn’t dream of asking her to pay.

Or am I sentimental old fool?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all. Just my up bringing im afraid.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"Not at all. Just my up bringing im afraid."

An upbringing by people who believe women incapable of paying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love threads like this to get people arguing especially about gender and equality.

The amount of you guys that want to be a gentleman and insist on paying for everything is ridiculous, having a vagina doesn't entitle her to anything and isn't an excuse for her getting a free ride, taking advantage of your stupidity and definitely in no way makes her the lady you think she is. Think of how much money you have wasted over the years on dates that have gotten you nowhere, being a gentleman and getting nothing in return. Yes we all like to make a good impression on a first date but isn't that what having simple manners is for? They are only women, they are not the little helpless creatures you think they are that need you looking after them, they are actually quite capable of looking after themselves and paying there own way, some of them even have jobs and own houses, they can drive cars and everything operating in amongst society, crazy right! If you truly feel the need to be a true gentleman and treat your woman right then save all that shit for when you actually have a girlfriend, but don't waste your effort and money on just another first date because chances are its only ever going to be just that, another first date and she's not the one your going to be with.

Also ladies, how about you pay or at least offer to pay the whole entire bill on a date for once, would be a nice surprise for the man for a change and shows him that you enjoyed your first date together, also shows that you have your shit together and not just another bitch in a long string of bitches only looking for a free meal. If women done this more often then the man in their lives would be more likely to treat them to a nice evening out every now and then.

It's kinda hard to eliminate sexism and have a gender equal world when most women out there are constantly happy to make themselves look the weaker sex.

... ok, rant over "

Dear C

I would refer you to my previous comments on this matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

meets and dates and real life mates is all 50/50

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/12/17 10:47:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had the piss taken out of me a few times. Even hotel costs I've been left with so I no longer meet in hotels unless she books it. I will always pay my half and couple drinks before. I've dropped a few meets giving some excuse when find out she won't or cant book the hotel. Its unfortunate for all those who will genuinely pay half but maybe cant because of discretionary reasons. Hense I now only will entertain those who will book hotel or entertain at theirs. Its limiting but that's the price.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An upbringing where i was taught to treat people of either sex with respect. Where politeness cost nothing and where giving is better than receiving. Its not about who pays it about old fashioed values.

Its certainly nothing to do with sexual equality. I'll hold a door open for either sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We live in a world of choice. Some men and woman men like the gender differential with regards to dating etiquette, and some men and women want the etiquette to be the same. I like the former, but I don’t take advantage of men who are not fans of this old fashioned ettiquette. For me personally my preference to male-female ettiquette has no bearing whatever on my rights as a woman to equal opportunities, and I have never been treated as weak or incapable of paying my way. In fact, as a woman who has always had a career and lived in my own for many years, it would be ludicrous if anybody would think otherwise. Yes I want equal opportunities and rights, and feel I have that. But I don’t want to be treated the same as a man. It’s a personal choice.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50/50 or they ain’t worth a second date

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire


"An upbringing where i was taught to treat people of either sex with respect. Where politeness cost nothing and where giving is better than receiving. Its not about who pays it about old fashioed values.

Its certainly nothing to do with sexual equality. I'll hold a door open for either sex."

One would assume then that you always pay if you go out for dinner with a male friend? Since you were brought up to have respect?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes i do. Well i offer.

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By *hinypants77 OP   Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"Yes i do. Well i offer."

Going out for drinks with mates. You ok picking up the tab all night yeah?

It’s ok your mates never buy a round of drinks?

I’ll always offer to pay and I like treating people but if someone’s taking advantage I’m done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op was on about paying on a date. I can honestly say i have not taken a male friend on a date.

But yes i stand my round.

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