FabSwingers.com forum: Never get married

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I concur

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got married, got divorced, long time ago. We still get along and I recently introduced him to Fab...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohhh ya, can I become this club's leader plz....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup...not for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it works for both parties, marry - just alter the conventions and expectations we traditionally attach to it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ohhh ya, can I become this club's leader plz...."

Scond in command

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ohhh ya, can I become this club's leader plz....

Second in command

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it works for both parties, marry - just alter the conventions and expectations we traditionally attach to it "

Like?

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

Social control?

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

I'll never say never... but i think i would be unlikely to do it again. The hurt and pain of uncoupling everything certainly will make me weary of doing it.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I'd like to find someone that likes me enough to at least ask me... Then I'll make my mind up.

That first hurdle is a fucking bugger though

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

As we approach 30 years and have never been happier, we have to disagree with the original post.

It's not marriage that's the problem. It's people's failure to make it work. They fail, so they blame the institution instead of themselves.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Its not something i've ever been interested in

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As we approach 30 years and have never been happier, we have to disagree with the original post.

It's not marriage that's the problem. It's people's failure to make it work. They fail, so they blame the institution instead of themselves."

Fair point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it works for both parties, marry - just alter the conventions and expectations we traditionally attach to it

Like?"

The whole ceremony of it for a start

Increasingly more for show and other people

The honour and obey stuff

The combined identity rather than being the two unique people you were before

To me, you can be married and committed without all that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Err...so it goes like this instead.

"Hey you're hot" (M)

"Hey you're cool" (F)

"Let's ask my cat and your dog to get married so we can live happily ever after"

Lol

XXX

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"As we approach 30 years and have never been happier, we have to disagree with the original post.

It's not marriage that's the problem. It's people's failure to make it work. They fail, so they blame the institution instead of themselves."

Unfortunately, sometimes it can't be made to work.

I tried for over 10yrs, nearly lost my sanity in the process.

I didn't walk away from my marriage easily, I walked away to save me & my children.

My parents were married for almost 50yrs before my dad died, and never a cross word, so I do believe marriage can work, but only when 2 people pull together as a team.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Biggest mistake of my life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My marriage failed and I stayed for a lot of years when I really should have left. But I like marriage, in fact my friend has just announced her engagement today and I’m really pleased for her, but it’s left me feeling wistful x

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

Yeah... I know it sounds bad... but, I wouldn't trust the woman not to screw me over, if things went bad.

I've heard so many horror stories from associates over the years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree, have been divorced twice so it's not for me, but it suits some people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if ever i did it would be on a beach in the sun , abroad.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Marriage is most certainly the cause of all divorces...

Cal

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Marriage can and does work.

Cal and I have both been married before but that didn't put us off it.

Both of our parents have/had happy successful marriages.

To me, getting married is a true commitment to someone you genuinely love and want to spend your life with.

I do think that there should be a requirement to live together before marriage though. You never really know someone until you live with them.

Nita

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

I believe in marriage, but it’s not something I’ll be repeating. I meant every word when I made my promises to my husband, not everybody does (or perhaps it changes for them) and that is not something I’ll be willing to take a risk on again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Married and divorced, don't think I will ever do it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we’re getting married next year. We’ve had ups and downs but the main thing is we’ve always pulled together and worked at any problems together. We’ve got 4 children together been together over 12 years been swinging on and off for 10 years and are as happy if not happier than the day we met. A lot ask why we are even bothering with marriage and to us it just seals our love and commitment.

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By *unkydesignCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Just make sure you marry the right person first time around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never been engaged or married and never want to. I can't bear weddings and it is my biggest nightmare to have to dress up in a princess dress and deal with my dysfunctional family all in one room together

I've reached the stage in life now where I am going to more 2nd or 3rd weddings or divorce parties these days as pretty much everyone I know who married in their teens or 20s has split up now.

It can work beautifully know, but in my family and friendship circle there really haven't been many success stories!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marriage is bollocks.

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Marriage is the same as betting half of everything you own that they will stay with you forever

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

First off people have a major issue with introspection and then form their views based on personal experience thats why most the replies will be logical fallacies.

The fact remains that marriage is, on average, a far superior environment for raising children and that's why i did it.

Personally i married a foreigner and part of the attraction to that is that i think the dominant culture in this country has toxic attitudes towards having a life partner, which is what i want.

From my personal experience most people have an awful selection criteria for their spouses and therein lies the real reason for the 43% divorce rate, but as i say, ours is not a culture that promotes introspection.

Personally though, happily married, never been happier and would recommend it to anyone that can find the right partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would definitely get married again. I feel now that I am much mature and have a better overall balanced view on marriage and life in general. Also the ironing is piling up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got married, got divorced, long time ago. We still get along and I recently introduced him to Fab...

Same here although just going through divorce. Very amicable and still really good friends. He knows about my lifestyle but it’s not for him so won’t be introducing him here, haha. I would still get married again if I found a good guy.

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Given the chance I would marry...........just need to find person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never fancied marriage or children myself..just no. Doubt I ever will. Zero attraction for me.

my parents stayed happily married till death did it's parting and were fine with it. It's Just not a life I wish to emulate really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does it really matter if people marry, then break up. Or live together, then break Up?

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Never tried it, but divorce threads aside I don't know many happily married people, so I'm unlikely to be tempted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"First off people have a major issue with introspection and then form their views based on personal experience thats why most the replies will be logical fallacies.

The fact remains that marriage is, on average, a far superior environment for raising children and that's why i did it.

Personally i married a foreigner and part of the attraction to that is that i think the dominant culture in this country has toxic attitudes towards having a life partner, which is what i want.

Personally though, happily married, never been happier and would recommend it to anyone that can find the right partner. "

I was happily married. My husband wasn't, unfortunately

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"I got married, got divorced, long time ago. We still get along and I recently introduced him to Fab...

You sound like perfect wifey material, oh hang on!

Him

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"First off people have a major issue with introspection and then form their views based on personal experience thats why most the replies will be logical fallacies.

The fact remains that marriage is, on average, a far superior environment for raising children and that's why i did it.

Personally i married a foreigner and part of the attraction to that is that i think the dominant culture in this country has toxic attitudes towards having a life partner, which is what i want.

Personally though, happily married, never been happier and would recommend it to anyone that can find the right partner.

I was happily married. My husband wasn't, unfortunately

How long were you married? There are certain milestones in marriage. An alarming number of people can't even last 2 years (WTF?), then there's a divorce peak around 5 years which is the stress of young children effect but once you've been married 8 years then the probability of divorce is around ~8% i believe

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan

"Marriage is the same as betting half of everything you own that they will stay with you forever

And half I what they own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never tried it, but divorce threads aside I don't know many happily married people, so I'm unlikely to be tempted

I'm happily married.

There's many a layer to any relationship. I'm happier in some layers than others is all.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"First off people have a major issue with introspection and then form their views based on personal experience thats why most the replies will be logical fallacies.

The fact remains that marriage is, on average, a far superior environment for raising children and that's why i did it.

Personally i married a foreigner and part of the attraction to that is that i think the dominant culture in this country has toxic attitudes towards having a life partner, which is what i want.

Personally though, happily married, never been happier and would recommend it to anyone that can find the right partner.

I was happily married. My husband wasn't, unfortunately

I was married for 20 years when I asked my husband to leave, it’s a shame as I enjoyed being married but I couldn’t get him to feel the same way, you can’t say I didn’t try

marriage is only a good thing if you are both on the same page, the problems start when one wants something the other one can’t provide. I’m not sure I would ever get married again if I am honest with myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

"
its not natural

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I could even do half as good as what my grandparents did I'd be proud.

Happily married for 65 years and died 12 days apart that is what I deem true happiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, don't agree sorry. There are plenty of marriages that work, and people are happy.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Committing to staying in a relationship for life works for some people. It doesn't matter what you call it.

Saying people shouldn't do it is as bad as saying they should.

I think a lot of problems would never arise if both parties were honest from day one about what they want from life and that dialogue was maintained throughout the relationship.

Human nature being what it is that's never going to happen.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"First off people have a major issue with introspection and then form their views based on personal experience thats why most the replies will be logical fallacies.

The fact remains that marriage is, on average, a far superior environment for raising children and that's why i did it.

Personally i married a foreigner and part of the attraction to that is that i think the dominant culture in this country has toxic attitudes towards having a life partner, which is what i want.

Personally though, happily married, never been happier and would recommend it to anyone that can find the right partner.

I was happily married. My husband wasn't, unfortunately

I was married for 20 years when I asked my husband to leave, it’s a shame as I enjoyed being married but I couldn’t get him to feel the same way, you can’t say I didn’t try

It's hard to comment because my view would be different depending on what wasn't being provided (i.e. somethings are expected, some are reasonable requests and others aren't). But totally agree with the principle of what you said.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Committing to staying in a relationship for life works for some people. It doesn't matter what you call it.

Saying people shouldn't do it is as bad as saying they should.

I think a lot of problems would never arise if both parties were honest from day one about what they want from life and that dialogue was maintained throughout the relationship.

Human nature being what it is that's never going to happen."

Totally, that's why i wouldn't want my children marrying young. You can't possibly know what you want until your personality is fully developed, which doesn't happen until about ~25. But then there's knowing what you want and communicating it...

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

So if humans shouldn't get married, which creatures do you believe should?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

too true

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Marry someone who is on an equal footing to you and then you can have a happy divorce.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"First off people have a major issue with introspection and then form their views based on personal experience thats why most the replies will be logical fallacies.

The fact remains that marriage is, on average, a far superior environment for raising children and that's why i did it.

Personally i married a foreigner and part of the attraction to that is that i think the dominant culture in this country has toxic attitudes towards having a life partner, which is what i want.

Personally though, happily married, never been happier and would recommend it to anyone that can find the right partner.

I was happily married. My husband wasn't, unfortunately

I was married for 20 years when I asked my husband to leave, it’s a shame as I enjoyed being married but I couldn’t get him to feel the same way, you can’t say I didn’t try

I couldn’t provide him with the same feeling that being down the pub could provide, I was a great wife, we had a good sex live but he wanted to be elsewhere it’s as simple as that

Some things can’t be sorted but I certainly wouldn’t put people off just because it didn’t work out for me, most couples can over come th hardships and some can’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two ex husbands. The first was an alcoholic. Kept me short of money made my life hell for seven years. Then i changed and kicked him out.my second turned out to be gay.he got told to leave when i found out. I have a child with each ex. A daughter 28 and a son 20 and 3 granddaughters.they are the good things from two bad marriages.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Committing to staying in a relationship for life works for some people. It doesn't matter what you call it.

Saying people shouldn't do it is as bad as saying they should.

I think a lot of problems would never arise if both parties were honest from day one about what they want from life and that dialogue was maintained throughout the relationship.

Human nature being what it is that's never going to happen.

I've said this before but a friend who's asked his parents to find a prospective wife for him sort of interviews them and they him. It seems eminently sensible to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Committing to staying in a relationship for life works for some people. It doesn't matter what you call it.

Saying people shouldn't do it is as bad as saying they should.

I think a lot of problems would never arise if both parties were honest from day one about what they want from life and that dialogue was maintained throughout the relationship.

Human nature being what it is that's never going to happen.

I don't think I really knew 'me' till I was 40'ish.

I'm only joking when I say marriage should be banned. I'm secretly a hopeless romantic and know that sometimes there's a connection between 2 people that's amazing. And then I think it doesn't matter whether it's a lavish 3 day wedding extravaganza or a 10 minute wedding in front of 2 strangers as witnesses.

The marriage bit is irrelevant if they are a happy couple.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Not for me I'm afraid. I know men (including family members) who worked hard for their wives and children, kept themselves 'neat' in the looks department, enthusiastic lovers and were on the whole fun to be around with great personalities. It still was not enough.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Committing to staying in a relationship for life works for some people. It doesn't matter what you call it.

Saying people shouldn't do it is as bad as saying they should.

I think a lot of problems would never arise if both parties were honest from day one about what they want from life and that dialogue was maintained throughout the relationship.

Human nature being what it is that's never going to happen.

I don't think I really knew 'me' till I was 40'ish.

The marriage bit is irrelevant if they are a happy couple. "

We had a registry office wedding, reception in my mum's living room and one night in a local hotel for a honeymoon.

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By *ire_bladeMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Fucked if I could make it work but guess that was 17ish years ago. Maybe I should try again hmmm na think I'll give that a wide 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We agree to 'no need to marry'. We don't feel the need to go along with the same route society says we should take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If I could even do half as good as what my grandparents did I'd be proud.

Happily married for 65 years and died 12 days apart that is what I deem true happiness."

Respect.

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By *xdivorcedMan
over a year ago

Redlands

Did you see my profile name...

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By *ungmagic10Man
over a year ago

Northampton

I agree, but personally I don't think it's for me.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Did you see my profile name...

That’s just being a sucker for punishment

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I have two ex husbands. The first was an alcoholic. Kept me short of money made my life hell for seven years. Then i changed and kicked him out.my second turned out to be gay.he got told to leave when i found out. I have a child with each ex. A daughter 28 and a son 20 and 3 granddaughters.they are the good things from two bad marriages."

He couldn't have been that gay if you had a child or was it a turkey baster arrangement?

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

I love watching wedding programmes and I think I’d like to be proposed to but actually getting married myself... nah, can’t see it happening!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree. I'd never do it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never say never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love watching wedding programmes and I think I’d like to be proposed to but actually getting married myself... nah, can’t see it happening!"

Not if it's a life of watching wedding programmes no..lie and say you watch porn or you pass your time with anal sex or therapy for hypersexuality or whatever..then watch the proposals come in..once your married you can go back to don't tell the bride

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never say never"

You just did

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By *ungmagic10Man
over a year ago

Northampton

He couldn't have been that gay if you had a child or was it a turkey baster arrangement?"

I was thinking that too, how could you be gay and have kids ? Did you discover you were gay after your kid ? Lol

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

Perhaps just like straight guys

have gay sex..

Gay guys have straight sex..

Wake up its 2017!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been married or had children-

I never wanted that to be my life.

I've had 2 long term relationships and many short ones ...

But I always end up alone.

Its always me that brings the relationship to an end.

I'm just not good at routine - and when it all becomes a bit samey I feel suffocated and need to run away!

But I crave intimacy which is what brings me here

Oh dear .....

I'm doomed!

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Perhaps just like straight guys

have gay sex..

Gay guys have straight sex..

Wake up its 2017!"

And in 2017 words have no definitions anymore?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I called it a day when I got engaged- I realised she was changing and we were going to head in different directions mentally.

It was brutal for a short time but it had to be done-

Personally big showy marriages are just not my bag

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

I'm married over 25 years but don't even sleep in same room , stay together for kids (dissabled) but we get along ok no right or wrong answer to this but its always going to be a decision that can and probably will change

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"I'm married over 25 years but don't even sleep in same room , stay together for kids (dissabled) but we get along ok no right or wrong answer to this but its always going to be a decision that can and probably will change"

A lot of time we don't sleep in the same room either. It's not necessarily a sign of a bad marriage.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

A lot of time we don't sleep in the same room either. It's not necessarily a sign of a bad marriage."

Lots of happily married couples sleep in different rooms occasionally or even regularly.

Some committed couples even live in separate houses.

Whatever works for them.

It wouldn't work for me. I struggle to get to sleep on my own as I'm so used to sharing.

Nita

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By *ink Panther.Woman
over a year ago

Preston

Do you think maybe ppl weren’t right for each other in the first place, that’s why their marriages fail? They haven’t actually found ‘the one’ if there is such a thing.

I’ve never been married but I’ve had 2 long term relationships both failed. In hindsight I’d say in both cases we weren’t right for each. It took me a while to see it and the most recent was really destructive. No amount of working at it would have saved that relationship unless I changed beyond all recognition.

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

As the saying goes I think we have grown apart havnt had sex with her for years and yes I have tried just get turned down every time .

So as the thread is marriage or not who knows and as I said earlier it will probably change

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

A lot of time we don't sleep in the same room either. It's not necessarily a sign of a bad marriage.

Lots of happily married couples sleep in different rooms occasionally or even regularly.

Some committed couples even live in separate houses.

Whatever works for them.

It wouldn't work for me. I struggle to get to sleep on my own as I'm so used to sharing.

Nita"

Our jobs create different sleep patterns so it started as a practical thing not wanting our alarms to wake each other up (i fond of the snooze button). I won't say i prefer it though (e.g. if we are on holiday and our rhythm synchronises).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you think maybe ppl weren’t right for each other in the first place, that’s why their marriages fail? They haven’t actually found ‘the one’ if there is such a thing.

I absolutely agree with this. Maybe people get blinded by love or the idea of how it could be- but not the reality. I knew it at the time we got together but ignored it.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

"Social control? "

This like most things are social construct and control, but that is the world we live in built on multiple tribes and belief system. marriage is a double edge sword, on one hand, can be beautiful if you are a strong team and work through the ups and down on the other can be suffocating if one person has to overly compromise and feel their voice is not heard however I do think marriage is a beautiful thing but not interested in the ceremony beforehand. Not enough people I think discuss things like kids, career, money*(a biggy), sex habit*(very important), standard (slop/clean freak) and beliefs and nosey family members.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Social control?

Yup, there are so many guys that start threads on here to the tune of "my wife hasn't fucked me in ages, how do i get her into swinging to spice it up?" I often ask what expectations they discussed regarding sex before they married. None of them have ever said they set any.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I loved being married: I'm independent but felt "whole".

I have a partner but I don't feel "whole".

Can't explain more than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As we approach 30 years and have never been happier, we have to disagree with the original post.

It's not marriage that's the problem. It's people's failure to make it work. They fail, so they blame the institution instead of themselves."

Absolutely agree. Twice divorced so I know what I'm talking about. Maybe some people are just no good at that sort of thing (me being one of them) and some are,like you.

So,to say 'nobody should marry' is clearly wrong.

Maybe 'nobody should marry unless they are prepared to work at it' would be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never been married before, but I would love to if I am lucky enough to find the right person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I've given up on getting married. I'm a fussy bugger and too set in my ways now.

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By *eviantdeliteWoman
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"If it works for both parties, marry - just alter the conventions and expectations we traditionally attach to it "

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"I love watching wedding programmes and I think I’d like to be proposed to but actually getting married myself... nah, can’t see it happening!

Fuck that, if someone gets lumbered with me for life I want them to know beforehand what they are letting themselves in for

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

Wouldn’t want that be some burden for someone.

Not really my cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been there, done it, never again.

Some people seem to be able to live very happily in a monogamous relationship or married and swinging, however I know I'd not be able to do either I don't think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My son had an interesting theory about marriage just the other day,

His thoughts were that marriage should be more of a 'contract' that runs for say 10 years.

Once you reach the 10 years you can decide whether to renew the 'contract' or terminate it.

This would minimise the difficult divorce process that there is in place today.

I think my son may have a valid point here.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"My son had an interesting theory about marriage just the other day,

His thoughts were that marriage should be more of a 'contract' that runs for say 10 years.

Once you reach the 10 years you can decide whether to renew the 'contract' or terminate it.

This would minimise the difficult divorce process that there is in place today.

I think my son may have a valid point here."

Lol, that's an old idea about how politicians should make laws. I actually agree with it politics but it's a terrible principle to apply to marriage. The problem is that people are willfully delusional about how traumatic divorce is for children. Most marriages have children, usually starting after around 2 years of being married and some would even argue the point of marriage is to have children. The idea that we should increase separations right around a child's most formative years is ill conceived.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

For me, being married is the best thing ever, the last 22.5 years have been the happiest years of my life

Bun

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

"My son had an interesting theory about marriage just the other day,

His thoughts were that marriage should be more of a 'contract' that runs for say 10 years.

Once you reach the 10 years you can decide whether to renew the 'contract' or terminate it.

This would minimise the difficult divorce process that there is in place today.

I think my son may have a valid point here.

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

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By *rNaughtyNickMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Add me to the list...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Very interesting comments and more people are against it than in favour.

Does anybody know the history of marriage and how it all started?

Call me history guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) ."

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree, I think marriage and nuclear families are still the optimum for creating strong societies.

That said I'll conceed two points. Sharing your daily life, living space, and finances are not for everyone, for varying reasons, so I wont judge anyone who rules monogomy out for them - hell I ask myself that.

Also I think people rush into marriage too much. Like, if youre going to have kids with this whole other human, then share all your daily intimacy with them, they better match you as perfectly as possible in character traits.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I disagree, I think marriage and nuclear families are still the optimum for creating strong societies.

People change, you can spend 10years with someone and still go different ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As we approach 30 years and have never been happier, we have to disagree with the original post.

It's not marriage that's the problem. It's people's failure to make it work. They fail, so they blame the institution instead of themselves."

Spot on. Few like to accept that they were part of the problem...i see it so much, the blame game, human nature.

Most people also are looking at the present, fun now...have it all now. Forgetting that there's a future, growing old and ultimately aloneness. Planning, building, giving, future preparing, commitment are all part of 'marriage' (that can be in different formats outside of the traditional way too)

The reality is most men will still be see attractive silver foxes well into their 60s some even further and most women will not have the same luxury.

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

"
child with special needs takes full time care so not a clear cut answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As we approach 30 years and have never been happier, we have to disagree with the original post.

It's not marriage that's the problem. It's people's failure to make it work. They fail, so they blame the institution instead of themselves."

Agree. We've been together 16 years, and married for 11, and we're both still as in love now as we were at the start.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Finding the right person helps!! I’ve been married twice. Divorced once, widowed once.

Third time lucky?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True we been married 6mths after live together all we do is argue & sex has dried up reason why we cum on here

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I disagree, I think marriage and nuclear families are still the optimum for creating strong societies.

People change, you can spend 10years with someone and still go different ways

Yeah you are right, thats said, if you meet someone at 30 whose characteristics you find desirable and live with them happily for 10 years, those characteristics are unlikely to change.

Unless the person takes up drugs or heavy drinking, or ends up with a neurodegenerative illness...but the later is largely out of our control.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

This logic comes up a lot which is why i said a lot of people are willfully delusional about the negative consequences of divorce. Your basically saying "surely a child would prefer a kick to the groin than a slap to the face?". A lot of how we chose our own spouses comes from the example our parents set so act to your spouse how you want your childs spouse to treat your child.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Very interesting comments and more people are against it than in favour.

Does anybody know the history of marriage and how it all started?

Call me history guy

I can tell you that the idea you'd marry someone because you 'love' them is relatively new and a western romantic idea. I think the evidence against it is overwhelming.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

Wot ever you say to try and say getting married is a bad idear

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

Wot ever you say to try and say getting married is a bad idear

If you wanna get married you need to be able to listen

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

Wot ever you say to try and say getting married is a bad idear

Seeside, marriage is terrible. Firstly you have to have lot's of sex. It's not like fab where you spend weeks arranging it, the person is just there... demanding... sex in person. On top of that, they don't even leave after sex. They hang around and do 'nice' things for you like making your favourite treats and massaging your shoulders. Most of the time i prefer sit in an empty room and stare at the paint but my fucking wife has interesting conversations with me and stimulates my mind. Honestly it's a living hell being married.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

Wot ever you say to try and say getting married is a bad idear

If you wanna get married you need to be able to listen

I'm allways listening

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

Wot ever you say to try and say getting married is a bad idear

Sounds like heaven to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 5 love languages are very useful to learn, both about ourselves and our potential partner.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good."

The best way I've heard it described is that "we love in ways that are familiar to us" which is a challenge to people that assume we love others the way we want them to love us back. Unfortunately, that means that some people grow up with the implicit belief that blazing rows and shouting matches are a perfectly normal way to treat someone you love.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"The 5 love languages are very useful to learn, both about ourselves and our potential partner."

Yeah we've done that, It's a thought provoking exercise. We have a spreadsheet with scores against these by month. Works for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many male and female golddigger types out there these days. Tired of seeing a lot of lazy folk out there who think the world owes them something.

I work hard and everything I have, I achieved it alone. No way will I risk my children's rightful inheritance by getting married, then watching him take half because he wants a divorce.

Folk are divorcing for minor reasons these days. Gone are the day folk do everything they can to make an effort.

My parents are aged mid 50's and been married 37 years. You just do not see that kind of dedication these days. Too many folk acting so entitled with the take take take attitude.

For the sake of being married, in my opinion, it's not worth the risk.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

Wot ever you say to try and say getting married is a bad idear

Nobody said you can’t have and live with your partner.. why contract is the question my love

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The 5 love languages are very useful to learn, both about ourselves and our potential partner.

Yeah we've done that, It's a thought provoking exercise. We have a spreadsheet with scores against these by month. Works for us."

Seriously??? Lol

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

After reading through all posts. I’m feeling a bit of an outcast. Been married 25 years and still madly deeply. What’s kept us strong ? Openness honesty and lots of fun Must be just luck lol. But also I’m irish. And divorce wasn’t allowed until just recently and being a good catholic boy it may have had an influence but I doupt it. I just found the right one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

It doesn't apply to me as I don't have children.

Probably because I grew up in a household where my parents hated each other.

So yes you do have to choose between a slap in the face and a punch in the groin.

It will be a small miracle if you don't fuck them up in some way

The happiest kids I know are the ones where their parents are happy.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

Speaking from experience its very difficult when you have kids with someone and you can't stand the sight of each other any more. Me and the mother of my children spoke about it and decided it was best for all concerned if we split up. My kids are grown up now, have a good relationship with both of us and say they were happier once we split up.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

His children maybe aren't aware. It is totally possible for 2 parents to still live together and maintain a very happy home for the children, even if one parent is cheating. People forget that people cheat on their spouse, not their children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

Very wise words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like everything, marriage is what you make it.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

Wot ever you say to try and say getting married is a bad idear

Nobody said you can’t have and live with your partner.. why contract is the question my love

Ask yourself why we have any rite of passage? Such experiences are powerful enough to change us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Like everything, marriage is what you make it."

Divorce

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"The 5 love languages are very useful to learn, both about ourselves and our potential partner.

Yeah we've done that, It's a thought provoking exercise. We have a spreadsheet with scores against these by month. Works for us.

Seriously??? Lol"

For real

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like everything, marriage is what you make it.

Divorce

If that's the way you see it, yeah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Whoops, too late for us. We do let one another have fuck buddies to add a bit of variety though, as well as swinging together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

My parents have been married 37 years. They've never argued. I do however think this was due to my dad simply allowing my mum to have her own way. All for a quiet life! Lol. I can't ever imagine being so domineering to a man in my life. However it seems to work for them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"After the recent flow of divorce threads, I’m convinced that humans shouldn’t get married

Mabey for you op but i no i want a wife

Maybe, and let me talk you out of it. You will thank me later

You can try but it won't work

What will not work?

Wot ever you say to try and say getting married is a bad idear

Nobody said you can’t have and live with your partner.. why contract is the question my love

Ask yourself why we have any rite of passage? Such experiences are powerful enough to change us. "

I don’t know.. you tell me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The 5 love languages are very useful to learn, both about ourselves and our potential partner.

Yeah we've done that, It's a thought provoking exercise. We have a spreadsheet with scores against these by month. Works for us.

Seriously??? Lol

For real"

I’m not married but can I get a template for research purposes? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"True we been married 6mths after live together all we do is argue & sex has dried up reason why we cum on here"

That is totally the wrong reason for coming on here. You obviously have problems in your marriage. Maybe you should forget swinging until you have got your marriage back on track. Swinging won't mend a bad marriage, in the end it will break it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

So is your Dad truly happy then if he is letting your Mum have all her own way? I somehow doubt it if he was completely honest with himself. Surely marriage is about both people, not all one sided with one person doing whatever the other persons wants, just to keep the peace.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

There's certainly a 'most successful strategy for giving children the highest probability of good prospects' and that strategy is a two parent family where the parents treat each other well. Im just saying that if people can't execute that strategy then they should look at themselves before declaring that marriage is the problem. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, I've found myself in long-term toxic relationships so I'm not saying I'm clever, thankfully they didn't involve children. It's about the conclusions yoh draw from those experiences though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like everything, marriage is what you make it."

Both people have to be in agreement of what they want out of a marriage though, it's hard to 'make it' if you are on different wavelengths.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

He did as he was told.. sounds like a great life

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"The 5 love languages are very useful to learn, both about ourselves and our potential partner.

Yeah we've done that, It's a thought provoking exercise. We have a spreadsheet with scores against these by month. Works for us.

Seriously??? Lol

For real

I’m not married but can I get a template for research purposes? Lol"

It's just the 5 languages of love with each of us scoring each other monthly, obviously you need to look at the trends. It's all about those acts of service baby, everything follows from there.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Op wotch this

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hyi9rWTPumA

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

There are a lot of implied beliefs in your question. Happiness was orginally a greek word and if you look at the original meaning and it's context then it's much closer to how people use 'achievement' today than what most people mean by being 'truly happy'. The dad has a strategy that works, which is better than one that doesn't.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

Indeed no one is perfect and people change over time. I see you are 32. I am 51 and am very different to how I was when I was 32. I suspect you will be too.

It's all very well saying that a two parent family is ideal, but you can well have a situation where a relationship that seemed great at one point becomes awful. If you have children, at that point difficult decisions have to be made. I don't think there is a default position that parents who don't get on should stay together for the children. Sometimes that might work, often it won't. . On the whole I would say it's better for children to have two parents living apart who are happy, than two parents living together who are desperately unhappy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

That works? But we still don't know if the Dad is truly happy. Surely happiness should could before something that just 'works'.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

Indeed no one is perfect and people change over time. I see you are 32. I am 51 and am very different to how I was when I was 32. I suspect you will be too.

Yeah but that's a false dichotomy. You come from a culture that says you love someone so you marry them. Try and imagine how your actions would change if you decided to marry someone and then learn to love them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

Indeed no one is perfect and people change over time. I see you are 32. I am 51 and am very different to how I was when I was 32. I suspect you will be too.

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

Works for who? Lol by doing the thing so you don’t want to do makes you very unhappy inside

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

Indeed no one is perfect and people change over time. I see you are 32. I am 51 and am very different to how I was when I was 32. I suspect you will be too.

Learn to love? That's an interesting concept, not one we would wish to try out. Personally we 'fall in love'.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

That works? But we still don't know if the Dad is truly happy. Surely happiness should could before something that just 'works'."

The dad has been married for 37 years and these days thats an achievement. As i say, the intended meaning of happiness is closer to achievement than what i think you are implying.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

Works for who? Lol by doing the thing so you don’t want to do makes you very unhappy inside "

Not true, it's reciprocal. There's nothing odd about sacrificing some of your individuality for a reciprocal benefit from someone else doing the same.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

Indeed no one is perfect and people change over time. I see you are 32. I am 51 and am very different to how I was when I was 32. I suspect you will be too.

Learn to love? That's an interesting concept, not one we would wish to try out. Personally we 'fall in love'."

I think your language constrains your thinking. You use the word love like its a well defined term we can all agree on. The greeks had 3 words that translate to love, it's worth pondering why.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some of you are missing the point

You can fall in love and live together for 37 Years but why get married?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of you are missing the point

You can fall in love and live together for 37 Years but why get married? "

Financial reasons. Wills and such. I have friends that have been together 30+ years but are now getting married because they are concerned about financial implications if/ when one of them dies.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Some of you are missing the point

You can fall in love and live together for 37 Years but why get married? "

Cos its a sine of carmitmount to eatch other.

And ses you are together forever and forever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some of you are missing the point

You can fall in love and live together for 37 Years but why get married?

Financial reasons. Wills and such. I have friends that have been together 30+ years but are now getting married because they are concerned about financial implications if/ when one of them dies. "

Exactly, also depending on where you live, you may not have rights as a next of kin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

Works for who? Lol by doing the thing so you don’t want to do makes you very unhappy inside

Not true, it's reciprocal. There's nothing odd about sacrificing some of your individuality for a reciprocal benefit from someone else doing the same. "

If the other person loves you unconditionally though, surely you shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are for them. You should be able to live your life as your true self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

Works for who? Lol by doing the thing so you don’t want to do makes you very unhappy inside

Not true, it's reciprocal. There's nothing odd about sacrificing some of your individuality for a reciprocal benefit from someone else doing the same.

If the other person loves you unconditionally though, surely you shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are for them. You should be able to live your life as your true self."

Both partners should be accepting of who each other are. No one should have to make sacrif about being the true themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

Works for who? Lol by doing the thing so you don’t want to do makes you very unhappy inside

Not true, it's reciprocal. There's nothing odd about sacrificing some of your individuality for a reciprocal benefit from someone else doing the same.

If the other person loves you unconditionally though, surely you shouldn't have to sacrifice who you are for them. You should be able to live your life as your true self."

Unconditional love? So there is absolutely nothing that your partner could do that would cause an end to loving them?

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By *un4meanduMan
over a year ago

STOTFOLD

Update to some of the comments

Children are probably not aware as we still do all the things as a family as we always have ,

I agree not everyone is the same and different factors come in to it .

Good luck to those that go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

Indeed no one is perfect and people change over time. I see you are 32. I am 51 and am very different to how I was when I was 32. I suspect you will be too.

Learn to love? That's an interesting concept, not one we would wish to try out. Personally we 'fall in love'.

I think your language constrains your thinking. You use the word love like its a well defined term we can all agree on. The greeks had 3 words that translate to love, it's worth pondering why. "

Maybe there in lies the problem if one persons idea of what love means is different to another. As far as we are concerned, our thinking isn't constrained in the slightest. We know what love means, love is love. Yes there are different types, i.e love for a partner is different to the love for your children, but we strongly believe we know and thoroughly understand the true meqning of love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Update to some of the comments

Children are probably not aware as we still do all the things as a family as we always have ,

I agree not everyone is the same and different factors come in to it .

Good luck to those that go for it "

Well said.

We are in agreement that not everyone is the same hence some of us won't always agree on these type threads.

We've said our input so off now to do some Christmas wrapping.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

That's what the 5 love languages try to address. We can only truly love another in its true form if we love ourselves first. To do that we need to understand how we see love, how,we receive love. If we understand that in ourselves we can usually spot the confusing love signals we give off to others, which really are more about how we want love to be shown to us. Learn each others love languages and suddenly a light is,swutched on. Then we have something to genuinely offer to a relationship which is unconditional...otherwise it is mostly taking which only depletes and empties the jar.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

That situation is obviously never ideal, but I don't believe there is any one size fits all situation.

Indeed no one is perfect and people change over time. I see you are 32. I am 51 and am very different to how I was when I was 32. I suspect you will be too.

Learn to love? That's an interesting concept, not one we would wish to try out. Personally we 'fall in love'.

I think your language constrains your thinking. You use the word love like its a well defined term we can all agree on. The greeks had 3 words that translate to love, it's worth pondering why.

All langauges constrain thinking. Your view of love is broadly called romanticism and it's a relatively new idea and not how marriage has been practised throughout history. I think fundamentally you probably believe, implicitly or explicitly, that human nature is good. I think the opposite which is known as the hobbesian view, which is the the dominant belief in our culture. In that view, nothing could really be worse than people running around being true to themselves because your true nature is selfish, murderous and impossible to allow in any wider society format.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

So you have a spreadsheet too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Married for 18 years, now divorced, 2 great kids and my ex-wife is my best friend. Nothing physical between us as all, just very good friends. Kids have benefitted greatly from this as we still do family stuff together and we’re not fighting any more!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your language constrains your thinking. You use the word love like its a well defined term we can all agree on. The greeks had 3 words that translate to love, it's worth pondering why. "

7 main ones actually of which we use 5 today. But your reasoning still stands.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I think your language constrains your thinking. You use the word love like its a well defined term we can all agree on. The greeks had 3 words that translate to love, it's worth pondering why.

7 main ones actually of which we use 5 today. But your reasoning still stands."

Everyday is a school day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Children hence why I stay married if they were not there I wouldn't but as I said earlier at least we get on ( most of the time) .

I get it.

But I find the notion of having to stay with someone and ending up on here cheating really depressing.

Far more depressing than being single ( which at times is pretty depressing!)

Surely kids would be better off growing up in a household where their parents aren't together just for them?

I would resent it.

We also adopt and learn some of the characteristics of our partner. Some are goodsome arent so good.

So you have a spreadsheet too?

I guess it maybe depends on how serious you value what you have and could loose. Some take it serious enough to learn and want to change...others don't and only want to change the other person.

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