FabSwingers.com forum: Teacher presents

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just caught this on this morning should there be a ban on giving presents to teachers at Christmas?

I personally don't do it, but some of the parents at my son's school go all out, is it a case of genuine gratitude, or is there an element of one upmanship?

Are you a teacher, how do you feel

Thoughts

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

I can't really understand it, although I guess it teaches manners to the little darlings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it appreciation for the teacher or a subtle bribe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cry most years at the generosity of my class. It's not even the gifts so much as the heartfelt words in cards. I don't believe there is any one up. Often parents will club together and gift from the entire class.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cubs send in a card and make something for their teachers. Maybe also a box of chocs or even enlist me to help them bake cakes or cookies for them. I don’t see the problem

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Not so much a ban but maybe nominate a charity or set a limit of £1 to £5. I come from a family of teachers and many of the gifts end up at the back of the wardrobe or in a charity shop in another area.

If the teacher is good send a card expressing that but gifts aren't necessary and yes some parents go way over the top.

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By *unkym34Man
over a year ago

London

"I cry most years at the generosity of my class. It's not even the gifts so much as the heartfelt words in cards. I don't believe there is any one up. Often parents will club together and gift from the entire class. "
a class gift I much prefer this idea. All completely anounemess so no children feel ashamed that have not put in towards it. I am all for teachers getting a gift they do a great job but I'm also for children not feeling embarrassed as they may not be able to contribute....

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

I think it's innocent and teaches the kids about 'giving' at this time of the year. Something to look back on as an adult and give something then, maybe even if it's 'time' it's still a valuable lesson

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I don't really care what the teacher does with a gift my child might ask to give them. I don't care what the other children choose to give to the teacher and neither does my child.

I do care very much that my child would ask to give their teacher a gift and demonstrate their appreciation of the effort the teacher has put in teaching them throughout the year. I do care that my child cares and I do care that, that teacher continues to put in maximum effort teaching my child.

It isn't about the gift it's about the child for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teachers always give our children a little token gift and a card, so they always want to give something in return. Just something little usually. I think the staff room must end up with hundreds of boxes of chocolates by the end of the week

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I agree with the woman that was on there,just give a xmas card written by themselves which probably means more than some tat a parent has bought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

Do you think we sit there and think, oh, nothing from little Johnny, what a c*nt, must punish him because his parents are poor!

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

Do you think we sit there and think, oh, nothing from little Johnny, what a c*nt, must punish him because his parents are poor!"

Poor Johnny

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

Do you think we sit there and think, oh, nothing from little Johnny, what a c*nt, must punish him because his parents are poor!"

If it saves little Johnny from being punished I'm happy to take his place, I'm sure I could take all the punishment you can give

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

I think it's more what the children who's parents can't afford it feel like when they see others giving presents. It singles them out and they feel embarrassed. Getting a card with some heartfelt words would mean so much more to me.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

Should we also be banned from giving a couple of quid to certain kids on school trips so they can get something in the gift shop like the other kids? Or making their costume for the play because their parent can't?

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

Any teachers who are swayed by gifts should not be in the profession!

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By *iss.RedWoman
over a year ago

somewhere

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

. Next you'll want to make sure barmen dont get tips at Christmas in case they serve someone before you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is a bit sad

Giving a gift is about making an effort and the act of giving.

Not about favouritism or preferential treatment.

My daughter gives homemade gifts and cards. It makes her happy.

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

Any teachers who are swayed by gifts should not be in the profession!"

You still got that Rolex btw?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread is a bit sad

Giving a gift is about making an effort and the act of giving.

Not about favouritism or preferential treatment.

My daughter gives homemade gifts and cards. It makes her happy. "

Many teachers have a positive impact in children and their future, in very difficult testing working environments.

If people begrudge gifts like boxes if chocolates or bath salts etc which tends to be the norm, then I imagine they're probably bitter negative types anyway.

Why shouldn't people be thanked.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

Do you think we sit there and think, oh, nothing from little Johnny, what a c*nt, must punish him because his parents are poor!"

@ this

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think everything seems to be a competition lately, be that how many hobbies the little darlings have to how big a birthday party they have as it has to be much better than the last kids party so it wouldn't surprise me that the presents will be a competition too

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

You are one very sexy teacher. I bet you have the dad's going all funny at parents evenings.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I think everything seems to be a competition lately, be that how many hobbies the little darlings have to how big a birthday party they have as it has to be much better than the last kids party so it wouldn't surprise me that the presents will be a competition too"

PS many moons ago when we were at school it wasn't allowed to give teachers any presents, it wouldn't hurt them I am sure not to get any presents

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think a lot depends on the individual schools...my friend teaches in one school in a very rarefied area, and at another school in a far more deprived area..the posh one is ridiculous, they get given presents worth a couple of hundred quid, spa days,very expensive make up sets etc..and she says its completely one upmanship by the parents.. at the less well off one, she is always enchanted by the homemade cards and biscuits etc the teachers get..at the posh school a few years ago they sent a letter to the parents asking for donations to a specific local charity instead of gifts...most of the parents still produced these over blown gesture gifts as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Teachers aren't stupid, they will know if someone is trying to outdo the other parents. I think it's a nice gesture of appreciation for them. They spend a lot of time with our children, so they deserve 20 mugs with best teacher on, numerous smellies, and chocolates to eat over Christmas.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I stopped bothering a few years ago when times were tougher for us as a family.

Some of them walk out with armfuls, I find it a bit cringe although I appreciate it's a nice gesture

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I give a little pressie to my children’s teacher (biscuits or chocolate) nothing extreme.

I also drop something off to my doctors practice etc.

It’s a time of year to be giving and I hate all this PC crap of offending someone.

It’s a little gesture of good will - the same as if my parent ends up in hospital I always take the nurses cakes.

I’m a giver

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im given gifts and cards from some of the children at work. Its lovely and makes me feel happy that they bothered. However i also feel the same when children give me a hug and wish me a Happy Christmas. I dont think bad of the children who dont give hugs, cards or presents, nor do i treat them differently.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A mixed bag of emotions there, along with a few men with teacher fixations lol

I question where it all stops being a gesture of good will, and becomes a festival of "look how great I am" I can only speak of our school but the amount of bitchery behind each others backs when one parent out does another is frankly disgusting.

It's not so much about not giving to teachers. It's more about not letting little Marys mother have a chance to make another parent feel bad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone with a very long career in childcare I never expect gifts but it’s always lovely to have been thought of and it’s the simple things that are amazing (a fridge magnet till takes pride of place on my fridge from a child 10 years ago) and it’s nice to know that I am appreciated for a job that I do. Working with younger ones you can work with the families over the course of a few years so you can build really amazing bonds with everyone.

As a parent, I always give/make a little something for the teachers that my children have, particularly at their current school as they do an amazing job with the boys and both have flourished massively over the past year there. Teachers and the TA’s work amazingly hard and for me, a little gift to say thank you is a kind gesture. I don’t worry about getting into competition with others, because they aren’t going to beat my homemade fudge! Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

Do you think we sit there and think, oh, nothing from little Johnny, what a c*nt, must punish him because his parents are poor!"

Yeah that's exactly what I meant!!

Or an intelligent person would realise I was thinking of it from the viewpoint of the poor kid that wants to get something nice like everyone else that's showing off, but he can't afford it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's more what the children who's parents can't afford it feel like when they see others giving presents. It singles them out and they feel embarrassed. Getting a card with some heartfelt words would mean so much more to me."

Exactly.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

Sadly yes otherwise where do you draw the line. Weather it's true or not won't stop people from making accusations. Part of an employer's dutie to is to provide guidelines to protect its employees from accusations.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At my workplace its usually the poorer families that give a card/gift rather than the well off families. A card with a lovely messege in it/a £1 candle from Primark ... all much apreciated (but not expected) by me. Theres no competition between the parents as they rarely pick up their children at the same time each day so dont really communicate much. Some parents are also staff.

All staff give far more time than they are paid to and many do lots of preparation at home. Many also buy equipment and resources with their own money for the workplace as funds are very low. Many parents appreciate this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In company's I've worked for over the years I've not not been allowed to accept presents from customers or 3rd parties as it might be misconstrued as a bribe.

I think schools should do the same and not allow teachers to accept gifts to protect them from aligations of favouritism.

Fair point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

Do you think we sit there and think, oh, nothing from little Johnny, what a c*nt, must punish him because his parents are poor!

Yeah that's exactly what I meant!!

Or an intelligent person would realise I was thinking of it from the viewpoint of the poor kid that wants to get something nice like everyone else that's showing off, but he can't afford it. "

And as an intelligent person, I know which of my kids might feel that way and know how to make sure they don't. You're assuming children are as warped in the head as some parents. Kids don't see one upmanship, they just want to show you they care. I had a homemade cupcake complete with dirty thumb print in the icing and yes I ate it. I did however donate the £50 next voucher as a prize for the summer fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

Do you think we sit there and think, oh, nothing from little Johnny, what a c*nt, must punish him because his parents are poor!

Yeah that's exactly what I meant!!

Or an intelligent person would realise I was thinking of it from the viewpoint of the poor kid that wants to get something nice like everyone else that's showing off, but he can't afford it.

Thank you for explaining to me how my mind works and what I'm thinking. You're very kind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems like bribes and one upmanship to me. It would put me off getting anything at all.

What about the kids that can't afford anything? A heartfelt card would cover it. Presents should be banned.

Do you think we sit there and think, oh, nothing from little Johnny, what a c*nt, must punish him because his parents are poor!

Yeah that's exactly what I meant!!

Or an intelligent person would realise I was thinking of it from the viewpoint of the poor kid that wants to get something nice like everyone else that's showing off, but he can't afford it.

Thank you for explaining to me how my mind works and what I'm thinking. You're very kind.

Like you explaining to me how a 'poor kid' thinks and feels

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