Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do the relationships end on soaps after this happens? I understand fully that soaps are not 'real' however i have friends who have been in serious relationships and it breaks down after. I thought it would be the highest form of flattery for someone wanting to marry you. " doesnt alway work out the way you want it to, | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you ask someone to marry you, it's kind of a 'make or break' question for the relationship." but that's the bit i don't quite understand, to get up to the point of asking someone to marry you things must be great within the relationship. Even if the answer was 'no' the relationship must still be good | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you ask someone to marry you, it's kind of a 'make or break' question for the relationship. but that's the bit i don't quite understand, to get up to the point of asking someone to marry you things must be great within the relationship. Even if the answer was 'no' the relationship must still be good " The relationship then changes because it's now out in the open that one person wants something the other does not. Assuming the proposal was well intentioned and heartfelt, rejection of it by the other party can then lead to big tensions within what was previously a 'solid' relationship. The underlying question if it's a 'no' is, well, what DO you want if not the rest of your life as 'us' etc. This in turn often leads to WAY more questions than answers. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" The relationship then changes because it's now out in the open that one person wants something the other does not. " Nail on the head. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's more than "just a piece of paper"...that's usually said by people who've never had one! " so what is it then? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"a marriage proposal is like a promise to commit 100%, accepting one is the same, if the other person is not prepared to commit 100% then what is the point in going any further." So me just saying I commit 100% isn't enough? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"a marriage proposal is like a promise to commit 100%, accepting one is the same, if the other person is not prepared to commit 100% then what is the point in going any further. So me just saying I commit 100% isn't enough?" we can all say the words, but the actions speak louder than words | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So me just saying I commit 100% isn't enough?we can all say the words, but the actions speak louder than words" See i don't agree that actions speak louder than words. I believe if someone is in it for the long haul they can prove it by having a successful relationship. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"a marriage proposal is like a promise to commit 100%, accepting one is the same, if the other person is not prepared to commit 100% then what is the point in going any further. So me just saying I commit 100% isn't enough?we can all say the words, but the actions speak louder than words" Are you saying EVERY person who has EVER got married wanted to commit 100% to their partner? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's more than "just a piece of paper"...that's usually said by people who've never had one! " Yes, agreed! You get your "piece of paper" after exchanging vows and agreeing to commit the rest of your lives to each other. It annoys the hell out of me when 'throw away' comments are made about marriage Sometimes it just doesn't work out... quite often down to the fact that the couple married for the wrong reasons and I (even though I am not a big fan of soaps) do like it when marriage proposals are turned down numerous times on tv.... It may send out the right message to some that are about to make a big mistake. Sometimes a couple get married for the right reasons but it still doesn't work out because of reasons beyond their control.... their marriage was never ever 'just a bit of paper'. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's more than "just a piece of paper"...that's usually said by people who've never had one! Yes, agreed! You get your "piece of paper" after exchanging vows and agreeing to commit the rest of your lives to each other. It annoys the hell out of me when 'throw away' comments are made about marriage Sometimes it just doesn't work out... quite often down to the fact that the couple married for the wrong reasons and I (even though I am not a big fan of soaps) do like it when marriage proposals are turned down numerous times on tv.... It may send out the right message to some that are about to make a big mistake. Sometimes a couple get married for the right reasons but it still doesn't work out because of reasons beyond their control.... their marriage was never ever 'just a bit of paper'." I accept your happily married and you feel different about it, but what you have with your partner can be achieved without being married. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"a marriage proposal is like a promise to commit 100%, accepting one is the same, if the other person is not prepared to commit 100% then what is the point in going any further. So me just saying I commit 100% isn't enough?we can all say the words, but the actions speak louder than words Are you saying EVERY person who has EVER got married wanted to commit 100% to their partner?" Where the couple have a choice, and choose to get married, then yes, I realise people marry for all reasons, kids, money, even for love sometimes, but as a rule a mutual acceptance of a marriage proposal is a commitment to the future | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"a marriage proposal is like a promise to commit 100%, accepting one is the same, if the other person is not prepared to commit 100% then what is the point in going any further. So me just saying I commit 100% isn't enough?we can all say the words, but the actions speak louder than words Are you saying EVERY person who has EVER got married wanted to commit 100% to their partner?Where the couple have a choice, and choose to get married, then yes, I realise people marry for all reasons, kids, money, even for love sometimes, but as a rule a mutual acceptance of a marriage proposal is a commitment to the future" It can't be a 'rule'.... you've already said people do it for different reasons. It may be the general ethos/principle or whatever.... but if it is not a cast in stone rule, then the action does not always speak louder than the genuine words. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"a marriage proposal is like a promise to commit 100%, accepting one is the same, if the other person is not prepared to commit 100% then what is the point in going any further. So me just saying I commit 100% isn't enough?we can all say the words, but the actions speak louder than words Are you saying EVERY person who has EVER got married wanted to commit 100% to their partner?Where the couple have a choice, and choose to get married, then yes, I realise people marry for all reasons, kids, money, even for love sometimes, but as a rule a mutual acceptance of a marriage proposal is a commitment to the future It can't be a 'rule'.... you've already said people do it for different reasons. It may be the general ethos/principle or whatever.... but if it is not a cast in stone rule, then the action does not always speak louder than the genuine words." I agree you can commit to a reletionship, without getting married, but asking and accepting a marriage proposal is like putting the seal on it, maybe it is an old fashioned outmoded institution, and it is not for everone, I should know, done it twice. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out." Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out. Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.." Nahhh... it was on a daytime chat show type thing about 10 years ago. Two actors (been on the telly in quite a few things)..... I just remember it as I was so impressed with their solution. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out. Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.. Nahhh... it was on a daytime chat show type thing about 10 years ago. Two actors (been on the telly in quite a few things)..... I just remember it as I was so impressed with their solution." Helena Bonham Carter and her hubby live in separate houses. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I like wedding cake xx " I am trying hard not to make any comments about you standing on top of it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out. Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.. Nahhh... it was on a daytime chat show type thing about 10 years ago. Two actors (been on the telly in quite a few things)..... I just remember it as I was so impressed with their solution. Helena Bonham Carter and her hubby live in separate houses. " I am pretty sure it's not her I am thinking of. I can't picture her in a terrace house either lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I like wedding cake xx I am trying hard not to make any comments about you standing on top of it." Cheeky xx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out. Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.." They had a long time affair. Traceys wife was Catholic and would not divorce him | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out. Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.. Nahhh... it was on a daytime chat show type thing about 10 years ago. Two actors (been on the telly in quite a few things)..... I just remember it as I was so impressed with their solution. Helena Bonham Carter and her hubby live in separate houses. I am pretty sure it's not her I am thinking of. I can't picture her in a terrace house either lol" They do. Tim Burton bought the house next door to hers in Belsize Park, they put in a connecting door but like having their own homes. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out. Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.. Nahhh... it was on a daytime chat show type thing about 10 years ago. Two actors (been on the telly in quite a few things)..... I just remember it as I was so impressed with their solution. Helena Bonham Carter and her hubby live in separate houses. I am pretty sure it's not her I am thinking of. I can't picture her in a terrace house either lol They do. Tim Burton bought the house next door to hers in Belsize Park, they put in a connecting door but like having their own homes. " Cool - I bet they nicked the idea from the couple I am thinking of lol I think it sounds a wonderful way to live. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out. Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.. Nahhh... it was on a daytime chat show type thing about 10 years ago. Two actors (been on the telly in quite a few things)..... I just remember it as I was so impressed with their solution." Kinda bothering me now..as I feel I know...I`ll remember tomorrow most likely... Yeah...kinda admirable....marching to the beat of their own drum.. I always remember a phrase of Kabil Gibrans...there must be space in your togetherness.. I could imagine myself being able to maintain that sort of relationship.. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wish I could remember the names of the two British actors who were married but lived in two different houses. They'd bought two houses next to eachother... they may have even had a doorway between the two put in... but anyway, they each lived in their own house. I really liked the sound of that and admired them for what they had worked out. Are yer thinking of Hepburn and Tracy ? I memba something bout Hepburn....great actress.. They had a long time affair. Traceys wife was Catholic and would not divorce him" Yeah..thats ringing bells..they adored each other....mabye they didn`t have an adjoining door afterall...whoops ! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accept your happily married and you feel different about it, but what you have with your partner can be achieved without being married." I have to say something hand on heart.... You are wrong. ....a tough time years back nearly saw the end of us.... If we hadn't been married and were not able to look back at the reasons why we got married in the first place... I don't think we would have got through it. Marriage gave us the strength to carry on and grow closer together | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accept your happily married and you feel different about it, but what you have with your partner can be achieved without being married. I have to say something hand on heart.... You are wrong. ....a tough time years back nearly saw the end of us.... If we hadn't been married and were not able to look back at the reasons why we got married in the first place... I don't think we would have got through it. Marriage gave us the strength to carry on and grow closer together " we have very different _iews. A piece of paper, a ring and a dress means jack shit in my eyes. Its the bond between two people that make it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accept your happily married and you feel different about it, but what you have with your partner can be achieved without being married. I have to say something hand on heart.... You are wrong. ....a tough time years back nearly saw the end of us.... If we hadn't been married and were not able to look back at the reasons why we got married in the first place... I don't think we would have got through it. Marriage gave us the strength to carry on and grow closer together " I`d have to disagree...I would say its the strength of the relationship... When things go tits up..its emotional maturity or good counsel that save relationships.. Being wise to the qualities that brought two people together, isn`t conditional on the type of committement they made...surely.... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accept your happily married and you feel different about it, but what you have with your partner can be achieved without being married. I have to say something hand on heart.... You are wrong. ....a tough time years back nearly saw the end of us.... If we hadn't been married and were not able to look back at the reasons why we got married in the first place... I don't think we would have got through it. Marriage gave us the strength to carry on and grow closer together we have very different _iews. A piece of paper, a ring and a dress means jack shit in my eyes. Its the bond between two people that make it." Well, I'm happy and content with my life... married to my soulmate. You are happy with yours... that's why being different suites us | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I A piece of paper, a ring and a dress means jack shit in my eyes. Its the bond between two people that make it." Give us all your opinion on relationships when you have lived life a little. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accept your happily married and you feel different about it, but what you have with your partner can be achieved without being married. I have to say something hand on heart.... You are wrong. ....a tough time years back nearly saw the end of us.... If we hadn't been married and were not able to look back at the reasons why we got married in the first place... I don't think we would have got through it. Marriage gave us the strength to carry on and grow closer together I`d have to disagree...I would say its the strength of the relationship... When things go tits up..its emotional maturity or good counsel that save relationships.. Being wise to the qualities that brought two people together, isn`t conditional on the type of committement they made...surely.... " And I have to disagree with you... but only a little bit. I would think marriage 'could' be a factor.... but that depends on what the marriage represents to the two people involved... and whether they share the same beliefs about marriage. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I A piece of paper, a ring and a dress means jack shit in my eyes. Its the bond between two people that make it. Give us all your opinion on relationships when you have lived life a little." so because of my age im no longer entitled to opinions? I haven't witnessed my mum go through 2 divorces, ive not watched friends suffer with heartache when things go tits up? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When things go tits up..its emotional maturity or good counsel that save relationships..." Being emotionally immature had nothing to do with the testing time. It was reasons that were out of our control and shall remain private. Counselling wasn't required either... again, the reasons why we had decided to exchange wedding vows gave us the strength. I appreciate that we all have differing _iews on marriage. You guys choose not to get married.... do I think your bond is stronger than ours because we are married and you are not? Hell no!.... I've known a couple that were together 14 years before getting married, happy as pig in shit until then... 6 months later... divorced ...marriage is not for everyone. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"At the end of the day it suits some and not others And does it really matter either way as long as the way they choose suits the couple? Yes it's a big commitment and means different things to different people To me personally it's a public showing of love for your partner shouting it from the roof tops if ya like It should never be allowed to take away a persons individuality " Takes away half their worldly goods though! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Observing others and experiencing for yourself are rarely the same." Bang on Polo. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I accept your happily married and you feel different about it, but what you have with your partner can be achieved without being married. I have to say som ....a tough time years back nearly saw the end of us.... If we hadn't been married and were not able to look back at the reasons why we got married in the first place... I don't think we would have got through it. Marriage gave us the strength to carry on and grow closer together I`d have to disagree...I would say its the strength of the relationship... When things go tits up..its emotional maturity or good counsel that save relationships.. Being wise to the qualities that brought two people together, isn`t conditional on the type of committement they made...surely.... And I have to disagree with you... but only a little bit. I would think marriage 'could' be a factor.... but that depends on what the marriage represents to the two people involved... and whether they share the same beliefs about marriage." Yeah, fair enough.. Expressing things that way..seems sensible and prudent... Its a subject that has at its crux...people and beliefs..both will conspire to give different perspectives.. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Observing others and experiencing for yourself are rarely the same." That I do agree with! My own parents were shocking role models when it came to wedded 'bliss' ....I grew up NEVER EVER wanting to get married because of their behaviour towards each other, turned down two guys including my daughters father (he was a twit anyway)... met someone special and changed my mind about life | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When things go tits up..its emotional maturity or good counsel that save relationships... Being emotionally immature had nothing to do with the testing time. It was reasons that were out of our control and shall remain private. Counselling wasn't required either... again, the reasons why we had decided to exchange wedding vows gave us the strength. I appreciate that we all have differing _iews on marriage. You guys choose not to get married.... do I think your bond is stronger than ours because we are married and you are not? Hell no!.... I've known a couple that were together 14 years before getting married, happy as pig in shit until then... 6 months later... divorced ...marriage is not for everyone." Yer personalising my post onto yerself...with respect.... There wasn`t any inference of you being immature....instead it could be read as a compliment %* Emotional maturity by its virtue, is beneficial in emotionally turbulent times eh !.. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When things go tits up..its emotional maturity or good counsel that save relationships... Being emotionally immature had nothing to do with the testing time. It was reasons that were out of our control and shall remain private. Counselling wasn't required either... again, the reasons why we had decided to exchange wedding vows gave us the strength. I appreciate that we all have differing _iews on marriage. You guys choose not to get married.... do I think your bond is stronger than ours because we are married and you are not? Hell no!.... I've known a couple that were together 14 years before getting married, happy as pig in shit until then... 6 months later... divorced ...marriage is not for everyone. Yer personalising my post onto yerself...with respect.... There wasn`t any inference of you being immature....instead it could be read as a compliment %* Emotional maturity by its virtue, is beneficial in emotionally turbulent times eh !.." PS..happy for you .. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |