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opting out of christmass

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By *iss_Samantha_Lovecock OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

does anyone else do this .. ive been doing it for quite a while now and its so much better .

tho i do have to go to my mums 4 the family lunch , because she always says it might be her last . but i get called the Grinch and my stressed mother usually ends up taking it out on me and i wish I'd stayed at home ..so i just wish i could do my own thing on xmass day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you visit her on a different day instead? I hate the part of Christmas where people guilt trip you into doing things that you don't want to. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Book a holiday for over Xmas then Skype her from somewhere warm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do they call you the Grinch if you're there"

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"Book a holiday for over Xmas then Skype her from somewhere warm "

I was going to suggest this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im quite indifferent to xmas and new year - days to get through in my life - this year xmas is a week early as one child who lives abroad is here a week early so wont see over the hols anyway - first time i might add - other child is coming to mine for xmas lunch in the afternoon - im working eve, day, boxing and day after - just going to keep busy -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would you feel if you don't go this year and she dies next year? Sorry if that sounds like a harsh question but it might need to be considered.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

we always made a big effort to see my parents on Christmas day as they are very elderly. Last year my mum made it clear in the run up that she wasn't keen on us going and eventually reluctantly agreed as long as we were gone before the things she wanted to watch on telly started. We're going on Christmas eve this year.

It's only one day and as long as you're attentive the rest of the year if Christmas day is a trial opt out I say

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I do my own random thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if your the only person a relative/friend will see over the festive period then you should see them, if however they have plenty of other visitors you know will be there, then having a Christmas just for you is ok.

Christmas is such a lonely time of year for so many folk, including those with family who don't bother with them because they do their own thing. See it all the time in my job, it's sad.

There will be plenty of time for you to do your own thing OP, just indulge your mum for now. She loves you and she wants you there. You may be a grinch, but you're her grinch x

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

OP what causes her stress, can that be reduced?

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Couldn't help but sing your thread title OP.

Opting out for Christmas,

Oh I'm not going to see their faces

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"does anyone else do this .. ive been doing it for quite a while now and its so much better .

tho i do have to go to my mums 4 the family lunch , because she always says it might be her last . but i get called the Grinch and my stressed mother usually ends up taking it out on me and i wish I'd stayed at home ..so i just wish i could do my own thing on xmass day "
god I'm going to a lady friends brothers Xmas dinner, do you think I'm doing the right thing ,no getting away from that once you're there ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do it solely for the kids, once they've grown up and buggered off, we will be going on holiday somewhere hot. It's just a lot of pressure and a massive anti climax

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We do it solely for the kids, once they've grown up and buggered off, we will be going on holiday somewhere hot. It's just a lot of pressure and a massive anti climax"
yes watch Santa ride around on his camel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Believe me you are not alone

Sorry to hear how Xmas affects you, I am sure that on the day itself there will be other folk on here to chat to

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By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16


"Book a holiday for over Xmas then Skype her from somewhere warm "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was up to me I would not bother with any of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We do it solely for the kids, once they've grown up and buggered off, we will be going on holiday somewhere hot. It's just a lot of pressure and a massive anti climaxyes watch Santa ride around on his camel "

Not that bloody hot, have you seen my skin, I'd be cooked.... Only want a light grilling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It may be your mums last. Or your last. Sorry to be blunt but is it that hard giving up one day to spend it with your mum?

Last Christmas was my mums last, I would give anything to spend another day with her. Christmas isn’t going to be the same without her but I’ll do all I can to do a Christmas she would love

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By *ic-tac-toeMan
over a year ago

barnsley

Christmas is for family....its about the giving and reflection...

Wish my parents were still around ... its one day a year ....

Being a parent its hard when you make the effort and your kids don’t appreciate it on one day a year...

Make your gift to them a smile and thank you if nothing else...

Failing that get wrecked as soon as you can and fall asleep before its starts to kick off!

Happy Xmas and a Merry New Year All x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've probably already spent the last Christmas day I ever will with my parents. I don't and shan't regret this because I spend quality time with them the rest of the year. It is just one day, different only because of the date and expectations placed on people if it isn't going to create a happy memory stay away I say.

If however you could make it a better experience for you and your mum by going and relieving some of the stress she's under, think about doing it.

I don't like the faintly coercive tone to the "it could be your/our last Christmas together" any day could be your last with her. The quality of each day you spend with your loved ones is what's significant, not whether its a christian holiday.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should spend time with your mother because you want to. If you dont want to see her on christmas then don't. But spend sone time with her overy the holiday or new year.

The talk of it "maybe her last Christmas " is pretty much irrelevant if Christmas is meaningless to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did it one year, most enjoyable xmas day I'd had since I was a kid and it was still all magical! Will be doing it again at some point I'm sure

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By *iss_Samantha_Lovecock OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford


"You should spend time with your mother because you want to. If you dont want to see her on christmas then don't. But spend sone time with her overy the holiday or new year.

The talk of it "maybe her last Christmas " is pretty much irrelevant if Christmas is meaningless to you"

yes its meaningless to me but she feels like its something special. no idea why .. were not a religious family..happy to visit anytime .its just the being made to feel guilty if i wanted to do something different on that day ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You should spend time with your mother because you want to. If you dont want to see her on christmas then don't. But spend sone time with her overy the holiday or new year.

The talk of it "maybe her last Christmas " is pretty much irrelevant if Christmas is meaningless to you

yes its meaningless to me but she feels like its something special. no idea why .. were not a religious family..happy to visit anytime .its just the being made to feel guilty if i wanted to do something different on that day .."

What have you decided to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol I don't!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been opting out for 20 odd years

In tenerife as we speak

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