Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
![]() | Back to forum list |
![]() | Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest | ![]() |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I understand that it feels like a therapy of sorts - being flogged/spanked helps me get into my head and just be if that makes sense? " Totally! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm still trying to understand the bdsm sub/dom dynamic thing. But I do crave different things with different people and in different days. Right now (and for a while) I've felt 'grippy' and the urge to be a little rough, taking all I want from meeting a sexy woman. Sometimes I feel kisses and cuddles would do. Light and shade and all that. " There's definitely variation for me...light and shade is good ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"B&D is my thing... I actually hate the way B&D and S&M get lumped together. But yes... There are days when I feel like being tied to bed/chair/kitchen table and totally dommed and used... and other days when I just want to lash him to bed and work him over from head to toe with my mouth until he's a quivering mess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Fully agree, I like B&D and D&S not really into the last combo' I know when I get a calling, I can feel a growl inside, almost physical sensation. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm still trying to understand the bdsm sub/dom dynamic thing. But I do crave different things with different people and in different days. Right now (and for a while) I've felt 'grippy' and the urge to be a little rough, taking all I want from meeting a sexy woman. Sometimes I feel kisses and cuddles would do. Light and shade and all that. " I'm with you on this. Sometimes I want a guy to walk in, pin me against the wall by my throat, kiss me passionately and take me, spank me and use me. Then I want kisses and cuddle after. Other times I want it slow and passionate. Lots of kissing, touching and foreplay. Followed by passionate love making (without the love!). | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"B&D is my thing... I actually hate the way B&D and S&M get lumped together. But yes... There are days when I feel like being tied to bed/chair/kitchen table and totally dommed and used... and other days when I just want to lash him to bed and work him over from head to toe with my mouth until he's a quivering mess ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I appreciate and indulge in all aspects myself...my reasoning for calling it that. Seems you still understood what I meant though ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Submissive huh... Tea milk with 2 & my office now ![]() ![]() It was worth a try.... ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Submissive huh... Tea milk with 2 & my office now ![]() ![]() And dont forget the friggin jaffa cakes!!! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For those of you who are into BDSM... Do you ever have those days where you just feel like you need to be Submissive/Dominant...craving a scene? It's almost like therapy... I feel like I need it today! " Sorry about that ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For those of you who are into BDSM... Do you ever have those days where you just feel like you need to be Submissive/Dominant...craving a scene? It's almost like therapy... I feel like I need it today! Sorry about that ![]() No you're not! ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For those of you who are into BDSM... Do you ever have those days where you just feel like you need to be Submissive/Dominant...craving a scene? It's almost like therapy... I feel like I need it today! Sorry about that ![]() ![]() No. You're right, Im not ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For those of you who are into BDSM... Do you ever have those days where you just feel like you need to be Submissive/Dominant...craving a scene? It's almost like therapy... I feel like I need it today! Sorry about that ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yep, definitely agree.. Being a bottom switch, I do prefer to be dominated and for someone to take that lead. I usually feel that way when things are getting a little too much for me... its a nice place to be, being there for another's pleasure. " Yes!!! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I certainly identify more as a submissive in that context, however it has to be with someone that I feel that way with - so doesn't tend to be a random thought/need/yearning that just comes to me - more a state that being with someone that makes me feel that way puts me in if that makes sense? ![]() Makes perfect sense. I've had meets with people and had a wonderful time without any aspect of b&d coming into it. Its a particular person who brings out that desire in me, a switch like myself. We never have to discuss or ask who is being dom or sub... we've always just been able to read each other moods and go with it... and sometimes it doesn't come into it at all... If we're both in a fun, playful or a particularly affectionate mood we'll just go with it and have a laugh, spoon and cuddle... It doesn't have to be one thing or another ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I certainly identify more as a submissive in that context, however it has to be with someone that I feel that way with - so doesn't tend to be a random thought/need/yearning that just comes to me - more a state that being with someone that makes me feel that way puts me in if that makes sense? ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Submissive huh... Tea milk with 2 & my office now ![]() ![]() But you forgot the most important part..... custard creams ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Today I'm stressed and edgy, I know that submitting and a whipping would help but that's not happening unfortunately ![]() Oh I completely understand where you're coming from. But I usually end up getting myself into mischief and punished. which is something I dislike immensely. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Makes perfect sense - one of the many privileges of living dominant lifestyle is witnessing your partner in a state of total bliss (subspace) after a particularly intense session ![]() Subspace is ....*sighs*... ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Today I'm stressed and edgy, I know that submitting and a whipping would help but that's not happening unfortunately ![]() ![]() Oh sometimes I'll be mischievous just to get the punishment ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Today I'd be more than happy to grab the girl push her up against a wall grab her hair pull her knickers to one side kiss her deeply and just go for it... all hot wet and pounding bodies and heartbeats then pick her up carry her to the bed and just carry on until stretchered out both completely ruined. Tomorrow who knows ...it might be fun to just watch the girl do all the work while I gaze in her eyes and feel...everything. Different days different things...but then if it was the same every time...where's the fun in that ![]() Oooooftttt.... ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Today I'm stressed and edgy, I know that submitting and a whipping would help but that's not happening unfortunately ![]() ![]() ![]() I love it when my bratty sub comes out to play ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Today I'm stressed and edgy, I know that submitting and a whipping would help but that's not happening unfortunately ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Mine is never far away ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have a deep inner need for psychological physical and sexual submission long term and I rarely let that part of me come out because so few people are capable of that. I’m sure at some point I’ll find the right person who can look after that wonderfully beautiful part of me and cherish the gift of allowing someone to take me mind body and soul ![]() I get that... Hope you find it x. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have a deep inner need for psychological physical and sexual submission long term and I rarely let that part of me come out because so few people are capable of that. I’m sure at some point I’ll find the right person who can look after that wonderfully beautiful part of me and cherish the gift of allowing someone to take me mind body and soul ![]() Thank you x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have a deep inner need for psychological physical and sexual submission long term and I rarely let that part of me come out because so few people are capable of that. I’m sure at some point I’ll find the right person who can look after that wonderfully beautiful part of me and cherish the gift of allowing someone to take me mind body and soul ![]() You will find it hun x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I almost missed out on it all. I had a horriffic first experience with my ex boyfriend who assured me he knew what he was doing and that I would enjoy it. I sustained a dislocated shoulder and severe frost burns to my vagina... That was my very last relationship. I couldn't understand how someone who claimed to love me could keep going when I was sobbing with pain and begging him to stop. Afterwards when I wanted to go to the hospital he told me I'd be alright in the morning. I took a bus there myself the next day, and never went back to him again. I never thought I would try bondage again after that. I met someone on here a couple of years ago who said he enjoyed it... But that if I wasn't into it, that was ok with him. I eventually told him why... The next time we met, he took silk scarves from my hallway, handed them to me, undressed and lay naked on my bed, stretched his hands towards either side of the headboard, looked at me and said 'I trust you'. We've never looked back since ![]() A good Dominant will respect you and care enough to stop when you say stop or use a safeword (unless it’s agreed as CNC). Sorry you had this experience x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I almost missed out on it all. I had a horriffic first experience with my ex boyfriend who assured me he knew what he was doing and that I would enjoy it. I sustained a dislocated shoulder and severe frost burns to my vagina... That was my very last relationship. I couldn't understand how someone who claimed to love me could keep going when I was sobbing with pain and begging him to stop. Afterwards when I wanted to go to the hospital he told me I'd be alright in the morning. I took a bus there myself the next day, and never went back to him again. I never thought I would try bondage again after that. I met someone on here a couple of years ago who said he enjoyed it... But that if I wasn't into it, that was ok with him. I eventually told him why... The next time we met, he took silk scarves from my hallway, handed them to me, undressed and lay naked on my bed, stretched his hands towards either side of the headboard, looked at me and said 'I trust you'. We've never looked back since ![]() So sorry that you had to go through that ordeal, there are unfortunately some abusive people hiding behind bdsm, thankfully you found the one. bdsm is more about the connecting of minds than the physical, it is a beautiful, true partnership and it takes time, patience, respect, openness and above all trust to build a successful d/s relationship x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Bdsm is more about the connecting of minds than the physical, it is a beautiful, true partnership and it takes time, patience, respect, openness and above all trust to build a successful d/s relationship x" I couldn't agree more... Its a very intense dynamic and only gets better with time. Although there's no love involved (in our case I mean... I realise its different for everyone), we have a profound respect and affection for each other and a complete trust in that we both put each others wellbeing ahead of our own pleasure, which in itself has lead to a lowering or softening of boundaries and allowed us to grow. There are things I will enthusiastically submit to now that I wouldn't have contemplated a year ago, because I feel safe, secure and even nurtured. That doesn't happen overnight lol. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I almost missed out on it all. I had a horriffic first experience with my ex boyfriend who assured me he knew what he was doing and that I would enjoy it. I sustained a dislocated shoulder and severe frost burns to my vagina... That was my very last relationship. I couldn't understand how someone who claimed to love me could keep going when I was sobbing with pain and begging him to stop. Afterwards when I wanted to go to the hospital he told me I'd be alright in the morning. I took a bus there myself the next day, and never went back to him again. I never thought I would try bondage again after that. I met someone on here a couple of years ago who said he enjoyed it... But that if I wasn't into it, that was ok with him. I eventually told him why... The next time we met, he took silk scarves from my hallway, handed them to me, undressed and lay naked on my bed, stretched his hands towards either side of the headboard, looked at me and said 'I trust you'. We've never looked back since ![]() Abuse within bdsm is a difficult one with cries of what did you expect, you didn’t really mean stop or the Dominant ‘knowing better’ to override your safeword or safety. Stop or no don’t always mean stop in bdsm and that’s an important part of the communication beforehand, as well as finding out relevant health information that informs how you prepare, play or stop. I had a lady a few days ago tell me she says to her husband before they start if I say stop don’t stop, only stop if I use the safeword. When she says stop he does frustrating the hell out of her! I attract a lot of masochists and if I’m clear stop doesn’t mean stop then I can and do carry on. I will push past tears, blood and breaking down with the intention to get the person where they need to be. If at any time a safeword is used then it is respected every time and I’ll take the person down. Sometimes they’re incapable of using a safeword if they’re too subbed out and I do my own checks. And if someone says carry on but I believe they’re done and their bodily reaction is telling me that, I’ll bring them down however hard they protest. I’ve had people going into shock trying to tell me they’re fine and to carry on when really they didn’t want to admit defeat. I’ve also had people proud they’ve never used a safeword and never will, another person deliberately went against health professionals advice and wanted me to suspend her - all have been refused by me. So it’s not just Doms who cause issues - bloody subs lol! The subs safety and welfare is paramount, not just what they want to get out of it, and it takes caring and empathy to do this right. Especially if you play at the polar ends like me. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Bdsm is more about the connecting of minds than the physical, it is a beautiful, true partnership and it takes time, patience, respect, openness and above all trust to build a successful d/s relationship x I couldn't agree more... Its a very intense dynamic and only gets better with time. Although there's no love involved (in our case I mean... I realise its different for everyone), we have a profound respect and affection for each other and a complete trust in that we both put each others wellbeing ahead of our own pleasure, which in itself has lead to a lowering or softening of boundaries and allowed us to grow. There are things I will enthusiastically submit to now that I wouldn't have contemplated a year ago, because I feel safe, secure and even nurtured. That doesn't happen overnight lol." That just sounds lush ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Today I'm stressed and edgy, I know that submitting and a whipping would help but that's not happening unfortunately ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() (Smiles) | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I almost missed out on it all. I had a horriffic first experience with my ex boyfriend who assured me he knew what he was doing and that I would enjoy it. I sustained a dislocated shoulder and severe frost burns to my vagina... That was my very last relationship. I couldn't understand how someone who claimed to love me could keep going when I was sobbing with pain and begging him to stop. Afterwards when I wanted to go to the hospital he told me I'd be alright in the morning. I took a bus there myself the next day, and never went back to him again. I never thought I would try bondage again after that. I met someone on here a couple of years ago who said he enjoyed it... But that if I wasn't into it, that was ok with him. I eventually told him why... The next time we met, he took silk scarves from my hallway, handed them to me, undressed and lay naked on my bed, stretched his hands towards either side of the headboard, looked at me and said 'I trust you'. We've never looked back since ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It truly throws me the nominalisation of a Dom/sub (the turning of a dynamic, verb, in to a noun). It’s a dance, for some it will be a jive, others will be a free style, some even a seductive samba. There are no definitive rules, there are agreed parameters, some great guidelines, immense fun and a superb sense of play, well for me. Do I Dom, probably not from some perspectives. Equally, I have never done the Dom course." I've never done the sub course either .... but reckon I'd get an A+. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It truly throws me the nominalisation of a Dom/sub (the turning of a dynamic, verb, in to a noun). It’s a dance, for some it will be a jive, others will be a free style, some even a seductive samba. There are no definitive rules, there are agreed parameters, some great guidelines, immense fun and a superb sense of play, well for me. Do I Dom, probably not from some perspectives. Equally, I have never done the Dom course. I've never done the sub course either .... but reckon I'd get an A+. ![]() There's a course ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It truly throws me the nominalisation of a Dom/sub (the turning of a dynamic, verb, in to a noun). It’s a dance, for some it will be a jive, others will be a free style, some even a seductive samba. There are no definitive rules, there are agreed parameters, some great guidelines, immense fun and a superb sense of play, well for me. Do I Dom, probably not from some perspectives. Equally, I have never done the Dom course. I've never done the sub course either .... but reckon I'd get an A+. ![]() ![]() ![]() Yes apparently there’s a 6 week ‘master’ course in London. I’ll save you the time and money of going on it - stick to safe sane and consensual and you and the sub should be fine. It’s not rocket science but still some think they know better ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It truly throws me the nominalisation of a Dom/sub (the turning of a dynamic, verb, in to a noun). It’s a dance, for some it will be a jive, others will be a free style, some even a seductive samba. There are no definitive rules, there are agreed parameters, some great guidelines, immense fun and a superb sense of play, well for me. Do I Dom, probably not from some perspectives. Equally, I have never done the Dom course. I've never done the sub course either .... but reckon I'd get an A+. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Think I'm stuck with the first lesson.... First find your sub ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"For me, being a dominant is not about controlling someone, it's about self control, it's about being the conduit of desire and fantasy. My sexual gratification isn't at the forefront of my mind, it can't be, it's not me who is tied and naked in vulnerable glory. I like to think of myself as in service to my sub, I guess the name kinkybutler is as descriptive as it gets" You fella,,I would trust with my wife. Not that I’d let you.... ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It truly throws me the nominalisation of a Dom/sub (the turning of a dynamic, verb, in to a noun). It’s a dance, for some it will be a jive, others will be a free style, some even a seductive samba. There are no definitive rules, there are agreed parameters, some great guidelines, immense fun and a superb sense of play, well for me. Do I Dom, probably not from some perspectives. Equally, I have never done the Dom course. I've never done the sub course either .... but reckon I'd get an A+. ![]() Government have changed the rating scale lady. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being able to be truly submissive(sexually) to someone is a mind enhancing experience, but not that easy to find. To truly have that trust in someone where you are "free" to enjoy it to the full is, well, AMAZING! As a little footnote, 50 shades of shite has a lot to answer for! ![]() Too me it hasn’t, it was a catalyst to some to explore thier sensuality. Okay, not written in the classic third party perspective, which is the classic/domestic style. I cannot knock it, prefer open minds to closed ones. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being able to be truly submissive(sexually) to someone is a mind enhancing experience, but not that easy to find. To truly have that trust in someone where you are "free" to enjoy it to the full is, well, AMAZING! As a little footnote, 50 shades of shite has a lot to answer for! ![]() ![]() To you it hasn't, cool, one door closes another opens. I just felt that we suddenly had all these Dom's coming out of the woodwork that in reality had no idea what a Dom/Sub relationship even was...in other words, flooded the market with fakes! That's just my opinion(other opinions are available) ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being able to be truly submissive(sexually) to someone is a mind enhancing experience, but not that easy to find. To truly have that trust in someone where you are "free" to enjoy it to the full is, well, AMAZING! As a little footnote, 50 shades of shite has a lot to answer for! ![]() ![]() ![]() Don’t you think it opens the porn players and those, I mean, those. I so love the dynamic of the play, either D/s or BD play | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being able to be truly submissive(sexually) to someone is a mind enhancing experience, but not that easy to find. To truly have that trust in someone where you are "free" to enjoy it to the full is, well, AMAZING! As a little footnote, 50 shades of shite has a lot to answer for! ![]() ![]() ![]() There are many different types of sub-dom relationship, and being honest I don't think any of us has exactly the same relationship with one person that we would have with another... Dynamics will always be different. On the 50 Shades note... I agree... I have a couple of very mild bondage pics on my profile, and as soon as they were uploaded I was inundated with mail from guys asking to meet because they thought it looked/sounded fun and kinky... There was no understanding whatsoever of the complexity of a sub-dom dynamic or any realisation of how long it takes to build the type of trust one requires. While it is fun and intensely pleasurable, there's a vulnerability at the core of it for both parties. I never lose sight of the fact that its an incredible privilege to have someone trust me so much that they will submit themselves completely to my will, or how amazing it is to trust someone so much that I will completely give myself to them ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top | ![]() |