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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

So I just had a message saying good on me for getting out there and having the balls to want to meet and well done on having pics on my profile ( just like everyone else on here) because ‘something has clearly happened’ I feel extremely patronised by that, I’m not trying to be ‘out there’ or anything else, I’m just here like everyone for fun hot times, am I being overly sensitive here?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Well as you mention your ptsd and cameras being a trigger I'm guessing that's what they are referring to?! Not sure why it's patronising to say we'll dine on overcoming something obviously very traumatic for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well as you mention your ptsd and cameras being a trigger I'm guessing that's what they are referring to?! Not sure why it's patronising to say we'll dine on overcoming something obviously very traumatic for you. "

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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"Well as you mention your ptsd and cameras being a trigger I'm guessing that's what they are referring to?! Not sure why it's patronising to say we'll dine on overcoming something obviously very traumatic for you. "

It was the focus on only that, the undertone was a ‘shouldn’t you be staying home and letting this control your life’ kind of thing

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Well as you mention your ptsd and cameras being a trigger I'm guessing that's what they are referring to?! Not sure why it's patronising to say we'll dine on overcoming something obviously very traumatic for you.

It was the focus on only that, the undertone was a ‘shouldn’t you be staying home and letting this control your life’ kind of thing "

Obviously I haven't read the message but even from what you have said in your op I don't agree. I do personally think you are projecting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I just had a message saying good on me for getting out there and having the balls to want to meet and well done on having pics on my profile ( just like everyone else on here) because ‘something has clearly happened’ I feel extremely patronised by that, I’m not trying to be ‘out there’ or anything else, I’m just here like everyone for fun hot times, am I being overly sensitive here? "

Some people are complete arseholes on here and sadly you seem to have gone and got yourself one of them messaging you

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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"Well as you mention your ptsd and cameras being a trigger I'm guessing that's what they are referring to?! Not sure why it's patronising to say we'll dine on overcoming something obviously very traumatic for you.

It was the focus on only that, the undertone was a ‘shouldn’t you be staying home and letting this control your life’ kind of thing

Obviously I haven't read the message but even from what you have said in your op I don't agree. I do personally think you are projecting. "

Maybe I am, I’m not sure, I wish I could post the message but obviously I can’t, it’s just made me feel horrible like I don’t have the right to be here

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"So I just had a message saying good on me for getting out there and having the balls to want to meet and well done on having pics on my profile ( just like everyone else on here) because ‘something has clearly happened’ I feel extremely patronised by that, I’m not trying to be ‘out there’ or anything else, I’m just here like everyone for fun hot times, am I being overly sensitive here?

Some people are complete arseholes on here and sadly you seem to have gone and got yourself one of them messaging you "

I really cannot see where they are being an arse hole?

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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"So I just had a message saying good on me for getting out there and having the balls to want to meet and well done on having pics on my profile ( just like everyone else on here) because ‘something has clearly happened’ I feel extremely patronised by that, I’m not trying to be ‘out there’ or anything else, I’m just here like everyone for fun hot times, am I being overly sensitive here?

Some people are complete arseholes on here and sadly you seem to have gone and got yourself one of them messaging you "

Like I said, I wish I could post the message so you all can see what’s making me feel like that, I’m wondering if a pm would work, if anyone wants to read that way, is that allowed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think they were trying to be positive not patronising.

They may have wrongly assumed things about ptsd but I think the intention of the message was good.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Well as you mention your ptsd and cameras being a trigger I'm guessing that's what they are referring to?! Not sure why it's patronising to say we'll dine on overcoming something obviously very traumatic for you.

It was the focus on only that, the undertone was a ‘shouldn’t you be staying home and letting this control your life’ kind of thing

Obviously I haven't read the message but even from what you have said in your op I don't agree. I do personally think you are projecting.

Maybe I am, I’m not sure, I wish I could post the message but obviously I can’t, it’s just made me feel horrible like I don’t have the right to be here"

How many positive messages have you had compared to this one possible negative one? Concentrate on the positive ones and not this one that might have been meant as supportive.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"So I just had a message saying good on me for getting out there and having the balls to want to meet and well done on having pics on my profile ( just like everyone else on here) because ‘something has clearly happened’ I feel extremely patronised by that, I’m not trying to be ‘out there’ or anything else, I’m just here like everyone for fun hot times, am I being overly sensitive here?

Some people are complete arseholes on here and sadly you seem to have gone and got yourself one of them messaging you

Like I said, I wish I could post the message so you all can see what’s making me feel like that, I’m wondering if a pm would work, if anyone wants to read that way, is that allowed? "

I suggest you stop focussing on it, delete it and block the sender.

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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"I think they were trying to be positive not patronising.

They may have wrongly assumed things about ptsd but I think the intention of the message was good."

I don’t know, I’ve been told all of that over the years in various ways and never felt like this before from it, that’s why I’m second guessing

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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"Well as you mention your ptsd and cameras being a trigger I'm guessing that's what they are referring to?! Not sure why it's patronising to say we'll dine on overcoming something obviously very traumatic for you.

It was the focus on only that, the undertone was a ‘shouldn’t you be staying home and letting this control your life’ kind of thing

Obviously I haven't read the message but even from what you have said in your op I don't agree. I do personally think you are projecting.

Maybe I am, I’m not sure, I wish I could post the message but obviously I can’t, it’s just made me feel horrible like I don’t have the right to be here

How many positive messages have you had compared to this one possible negative one? Concentrate on the positive ones and not this one that might have been meant as supportive."

Thanks, just needed to discuss a little I guess

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Well as you mention your ptsd and cameras being a trigger I'm guessing that's what they are referring to?! Not sure why it's patronising to say we'll dine on overcoming something obviously very traumatic for you.

It was the focus on only that, the undertone was a ‘shouldn’t you be staying home and letting this control your life’ kind of thing

Obviously I haven't read the message but even from what you have said in your op I don't agree. I do personally think you are projecting.

Maybe I am, I’m not sure, I wish I could post the message but obviously I can’t, it’s just made me feel horrible like I don’t have the right to be here

How many positive messages have you had compared to this one possible negative one? Concentrate on the positive ones and not this one that might have been meant as supportive.

Thanks, just needed to discuss a little I guess "

We all need that now and again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So I just had a message saying good on me for getting out there and having the balls to want to meet and well done on having pics on my profile ( just like everyone else on here) because ‘something has clearly happened’ I feel extremely patronised by that, I’m not trying to be ‘out there’ or anything else, I’m just here like everyone for fun hot times, am I being overly sensitive here?

Some people are complete arseholes on here and sadly you seem to have gone and got yourself one of them messaging you

I really cannot see where they are being an arse hole? "

I think it sounds very patronising and I think people who do that are arseholes.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"So I just had a message saying good on me for getting out there and having the balls to want to meet and well done on having pics on my profile ( just like everyone else on here) because ‘something has clearly happened’ I feel extremely patronised by that, I’m not trying to be ‘out there’ or anything else, I’m just here like everyone for fun hot times, am I being overly sensitive here?

Some people are complete arseholes on here and sadly you seem to have gone and got yourself one of them messaging you

I really cannot see where they are being an arse hole?

I think it sounds very patronising and I think people who do that are arseholes."

Fair enough

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Not the same thing I know but a colleague once told me I was very daring in the way I dress. I know she didn't mean it as a compliment but I chose to take it as one

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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"Not the same thing I know but a colleague once told me I was very daring in the way I dress. I know she didn't mean it as a compliment but I chose to take it as one "

If it was someone I knew then I wouldn’t take offence because friends don’t mean things in a bad way but a random person on here can come across very differently, hence the post

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Not the same thing I know but a colleague once told me I was very daring in the way I dress. I know she didn't mean it as a compliment but I chose to take it as one

If it was someone I knew then I wouldn’t take offence because friends don’t mean things in a bad way but a random person on here can come across very differently, hence the post "

It's true but this woman wasn't my friend. However by the same token random people are just that...random. They don't know you, their opinion is irrelevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your getting over sensitive about a message about being here then may be you shouldn't x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your getting over sensitive about a message about being here then may be you shouldn't x"

Why shouldn't she, surely she's as entitled to be here as anyone else...

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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

I don’t mind sending it in a pm if anyone would like to see, a few people have seen it, on here and off and once they’ve read it they don’t think I’m being too sensitive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your getting over sensitive about a message about being here then may be you shouldn't x"

There's always one

Op, to me it sounds like you may be feeling overly sensitive. But then, I haven't read the message. It may read exactly as you say x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I suggest you stop focussing on it, delete it and block the sender."

Good advice! It's difficult for us to give you a balanced view as we haven't read the message.

I would just do what nicecouple said x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If your getting over sensitive about a message about being here then may be you shouldn't x

Why shouldn't she, surely she's as entitled to be here as anyone else... "

She can do whatever the fuck she likes but to receive a message from a random about something I'm assuming that's on her profile and instead of deleting it as probably 99% of people would have done and moving on she's then showed friends on here asking what they think and also her other friends asking what they think then doing a thread asking us what we think and dwelling on it. I personally don't think that's normal x

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton


"Not the same thing I know but a colleague once told me I was very daring in the way I dress. I know she didn't mean it as a compliment but I chose to take it as one

If it was someone I knew then I wouldn’t take offence because friends don’t mean things in a bad way but a random person on here can come across very differently, hence the post "

Have you asked the sender to elaborate?

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By *wisted2000 OP   Woman
over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes


"If your getting over sensitive about a message about being here then may be you shouldn't x

Why shouldn't she, surely she's as entitled to be here as anyone else...

She can do whatever the fuck she likes but to receive a message from a random about something I'm assuming that's on her profile and instead of deleting it as probably 99% of people would have done and moving on she's then showed friends on here asking what they think and also her other friends asking what they think then doing a thread asking us what we think and dwelling on it. I personally don't think that's normal x"

Yes because no one ever asks for opinions in a thread do they???

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Let's not let this get out of hand.

If you post asking for opinions you will get a mixed response, it's the nature of a forum.

If you wish to give an opinion you should do so respectfully.

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By *ocks99Man
over a year ago

Reading

Hard so say without seeing the message, but given the number of 1 line profiles with no pics, your profile is unusual. In a pleasantly surprised way.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

I had a read of your profile. It's mostly negative. The ptsd thing sticks out like a sore thumb. Without knowing you I would guess that's your intention. Ive seen you around on the forum. If it wasn't for that I would have passed this post by as an attention seeking one. Apologies but that's the way I see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just read your profile OP. To me it sounds like the man is trying to show you that he's read your profile. It's his way of trying to commend you for your courage in taking a picture. Is it a lure to try and get into your knickers? Possibly. But I don't think that he was trying to be condescending, in my personal opinion

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJY8jJkDoMY

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