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Swinging - Skeleton in the closet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If you start a new relationship with a non swinger, would you treat swinging as a skeleton in your closet?

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Depends...

...on whether my new partner values honesty and openness or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope...if someone can't accept what I get up to whilst single then they are not for me.... I won't lie about who I am just to get into a relationship

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No I wouldn't.

God forbid that I should ever be in a position to start a new relationship but if I did I'd be up front from day one. I think I'd probably tell a guy on a first date. I'd also tell him everything else about what I want from life and encourage him to do the same. I don't have time to spare finding out six months down the line that we're not compatible on basics.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yup. I will always answer questions honestly, but I would not mention being on here if it never came up, though I am not really a swinger anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That would imply I'm embarrassed or in some way ashamed of anything i do. If I feel I may need to have stuff further down he line I just won't do it in the first place.

Heads high folks...don't be embarrassed about anything you do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No skeletons in my closet...

I bury them under the patio

Runs back to the man xave and hides

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

No, absolutely not. If someone thinks that swinging is abhorrent, then they are not the kind of person I want to share any part of my life with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. I will never feel the need to hide my true self again, that would be taking a step backwards

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

I just wouldn't tell them, the past is the past, if I get into a new relationship I treat it as a clean slate. Why risk spoiling the future with someone by telling them about something from the past that is no longer relevant? Providing you're not bringing amy health risks from your sexual past into the relationship then it's all good.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I just wouldn't tell them, the past is the past, if I get into a new relationship I treat it as a clean slate. Why risk spoiling the future with someone by telling them about something from the past that is no longer relevant? Providing you're not bringing amy health risks from your sexual past into the relationship then it's all good."

What if you want to continue swinging?

I would want to include a BDSM element in any relationship I had and that would probably include bringing other people in to it. I'd want that made clear from day one. Also the fact that I always want a cat, I hate living in a cold house and I want to be near the sea.

I'd get these non negotiables out of the way straight off the bat.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York


"I just wouldn't tell them, the past is the past, if I get into a new relationship I treat it as a clean slate. Why risk spoiling the future with someone by telling them about something from the past that is no longer relevant? Providing you're not bringing amy health risks from your sexual past into the relationship then it's all good.

What if you want to continue swinging?

I would want to include a BDSM element in any relationship I had and that would probably include bringing other people in to it. I'd want that made clear from day one. Also the fact that I always want a cat, I hate living in a cold house and I want to be near the sea.

I'd get these non negotiables out of the way straight off the bat."

I guess that would be your prerogative

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I just wouldn't tell them, the past is the past, if I get into a new relationship I treat it as a clean slate. Why risk spoiling the future with someone by telling them about something from the past that is no longer relevant? Providing you're not bringing amy health risks from your sexual past into the relationship then it's all good.

What if you want to continue swinging?

I would want to include a BDSM element in any relationship I had and that would probably include bringing other people in to it. I'd want that made clear from day one. Also the fact that I always want a cat, I hate living in a cold house and I want to be near the sea.

I'd get these non negotiables out of the way straight off the bat.

I guess that would be your prerogative "

Yep! Nobody tells me I can't have a cat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why hide what you enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think being honest is always best as if person found out and you hadn't told them ,could be awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure if once you've caught the pleasure of non monogamy you would want to go back. Something very special about being able to trust enough to be able to share. So no, I'd not keep it a hidden secret.

L

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Why hide what you enjoy "

Some people swing between relationships but not while they're in them. I suppose you'd want to keep it quiet under those circumstances.

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By *appy squirrelWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

wouldn't really be a great start for a relationship if you hiding stuff would it?

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By *onny MCMan
over a year ago

Crawley


"If you start a new relationship with a non swinger, would you treat swinging as a skeleton in your closet?"

I got flirting with a girl at a rock concert a couple of months back and decided to tell her after a few days in case anything happened between us and then she freaked out about sleeping with someone who was sleeping around so much. She was very niave and was intrigued and wants me to take her to a club. I think I've created a monster, lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I told an ex a few years ago, it paved the way for her to tell me she'd been an escort while at Uni.

We did ok while it lasted.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's important to open up as you are ready and for honesty about the present. My partners past is important but it's not who they are. Part of the beauty for me of forming a relationship is the ongoing opening up to my partner. There's not a need for a skeleton in the closet, when something interesting is good to share. I've never been a nun nor want to portray that and my filthier side is an aspect of my character.

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Tricky - honesty best policy in a relationship and I am a fundamentally honest person.

But equally there is still a huge prejudice against women who indulge in casual sex - let alone threesomes, orgies, swingers clubs, bdsm...

I have as I'm sure many on here do, a child and their reputation/possible embarrassment to consider, so IF (big if) I were to get into another relationship I'd need to know I could trust them not to be idiots with the info first.

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