FabSwingers.com forum: Is being a wheelchair user a turn-off?

By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

I've been speaking back and forth to several people on here and everything goes well until I mention I'm in a wheelchair, then I'm instantly ignored. I completely understand it may be something people feel a little awkward/uncomfortable with, that's why it's in my description, but people still seem to stop replying the moment I mention it in a PM. Any advice?

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By *ease2017Man
over a year ago

Leicester

Hey pal don't take it to heart buddy if you where of the opposite sex it wouldn't put me off.

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By *orthatry84Couple
over a year ago

cardiff

My only advice is to continue as you are, it wouldn’t make any difference to me or anyone that deserves fun with you. Very sexy pictures and they are clearly missing out.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Thank you Tease2017

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"My only advice is to continue as you are, it wouldn’t make any difference to me or anyone that deserves fun with you. Very sexy pictures and they are clearly missing out."

Thank you very much Worthatry!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been speaking back and forth to several people on here and everything goes well until I mention I'm in a wheelchair, then I'm instantly ignored. I completely understand it may be something people feel a little awkward/uncomfortable with, that's why it's in my description, but people still seem to stop replying the moment I mention it in a PM. Any advice?"

Don't mention it in a pm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're ignorant feckers ... wait until someone decent comes along ... they will accept you ... your pics are hot too young man!

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Don't mention it in a pm

Haha, could do but would feel bad just showing up and putting them in a difficult position! Plus, they might choose to meet somewhere hilly/with too many stairs :P

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

They're ignorant feckers ... wait until someone decent comes along ... they will accept you ... your pics are hot too young man!

Thank you Minxirella, that's lovely of you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't mention it in a pm

Haha, could do but would feel bad just showing up and putting them in a difficult position! Plus, they might choose to meet somewhere hilly/with too many stairs :P "

It's on your profile. You don't need to mention it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your photos are gorgeous. I’d meet you. Plenty of people wouldn’t be put off by the fact you’re in a wheelchair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was dating it wouldn’t put me off, However on a site like fab it would. That’s purely due to my own lack of understanding and worries about how things would be logistically.

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Wouldn't put us off if we were looking for a single guy. Our advice is go to a club, the people that really have an issue will avoid you anyway (in the nicest way possible) so everyone else you talk to will be positive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't need to change a thing. Your pics are hot! It's right there in your profile. If people stop messaging then they obviously haven't read it. Idiots! X

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Your photos are gorgeous. I’d meet you. Plenty of people wouldn’t be put off by the fact you’re in a wheelchair "

Thank you! That's really nice of you to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/11/17 21:07:48]

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"If I was dating it wouldn’t put me off, However on a site like fab it would. That’s purely due to my own lack of understanding and worries about how things would be logistically. "

I completely understand, it certainly has a few logistical complications that I can imagine could seem like too much of a hurdle. Anyone is more than welcome to ask me any questions about it if they wish!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

It wouldn't put me off

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Wouldn't put us off if we were looking for a single guy. Our advice is go to a club, the people that really have an issue will avoid you anyway (in the nicest way possible) so everyone else you talk to will be positive"

Thank you brokenbrilliance, I'll give that a try. Cool name by the way!

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"You don't need to change a thing. Your pics are hot! It's right there in your profile. If people stop messaging then they obviously haven't read it. Idiots! X"

Thanks, you have lovely pictures yourself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're hot, it wouldn't bother me as long as you can do the deed.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"You're hot, it wouldn't bother me as long as you can do the deed. "

Thanks, you too! Brilliant location description too :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It wouldnt put me off and I wouldnt message someone without reading their profile first where you've clearly stated you're in a wheelchair so you've done what you can to inform potential meets. Keep at it

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By *ady-LoverMan
over a year ago

swindon

Defo not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it partly comes down to fear of the unknown. Most of us have no idea what it’s like to be in a wheelchair. Perhaps people who care for relatives in a similar position or have physical disabilities themselves have some inkling, but I suspect this is a minority of fab users.

People are probably left wondering what your limitations might be, but don’t know how to ask this without causing offence. If it was me, I would also be wondering if there was anything in particular that I could to make sex enjoyable, but at the same time wouldn’t want make your wheelchair use seem like a defining feature that basically over-rides the fact you’re a normal, young, red blooded male with a raging sex drive!

I suppose it’s about finding a way of opening up a dialogue about these issues, so all parties feel able to ask questions without any awkwardness. Not sure how this can be achieved though if people won’t give you the time of day.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Continue to be yourself.

Maybe consider going to socials, where people can get to know you as a person, rather than you being defined by your wheelchair? From there, meets often follow.

Good luck x

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Thank you brokenbrilliance, I'll give that a try. Cool name by the way!"

Delightful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're hot, it wouldn't bother me as long as you can do the deed.

Thanks, you too! Brilliant location description too :D "

Hahahahaha what can I say, I'm a stereotypical lady when it comes to navigation

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"It wouldnt put me off and I wouldnt message someone without reading their profile first where you've clearly stated you're in a wheelchair so you've done what you can to inform potential meets. Keep at it

Thank you pollyanna!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Plain ignorance mate. If people can’t see past the wheelchair then there not worth meeting. It’s a case of people not understanding and to frightened to ask. As was said in a comment on this thread there lack of understanding well if you don’t understand ask.

Totally different situation but my son is disabled was born with meningitis left unable to use his legs he is now 11 and he much prefers people to talk to him and ask him questions about his situation rather than shy away or be ignorant about it.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"I suppose it partly comes down to fear of the unknown. Most of us have no idea what it’s like to be in a wheelchair. Perhaps people who care for relatives in a similar position or have physical disabilities themselves have some inkling, but I suspect this is a minority of fab users.

I completely agree and am more than willing to talk about any aspect of my situation, so I try to bring it up in the messages as early as possible in case they missed it in my profile. I don't want people to feel awkward or as though they need to tip-toe around it, I want people to feel like they can ask absolutely anything

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Continue to be yourself.

Maybe consider going to socials, where people can get to know you as a person, rather than you being defined by your wheelchair? From there, meets often follow.

Good luck x

Thank you very much Lisa, I think I'll give that a go x

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

It will put some people off...but so might tattoos or piercings or height or anything else. ....people have all kinds of preferences and prejudices, I think all you can do is be upfront and find the ones who don't mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m also disabled and have experienced this, it upset me at 1st but I’ve learnt that if they can’t see past my disability then there not worth my time.

My moto’s are “something’s are hard but not impossible” and

“different is sometimes very good”

Plus you look hot and have a nice profile so definitely there loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t take it to heart mate. It’s bloody hard for all men on here! Theres’s a lady on Fab in a wheel chair and she’s not short of meets. I just think it’s a general problem for all men on Fab, I get talking to quite a few ladies and then they just disappear for one reason or another so don’t think it’s you. You just gotta keep trying. Good luck.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Plain ignorance mate. If people can’t see past the wheelchair then there not worth meeting. It’s a case of people not understanding and to frightened to ask. As was said in a comment on this thread there lack of understanding well if you don’t understand ask.

Thanks for the kind words. I think you're right, people may be worried to come across as condescending or offensive so maybe just avoid the situation completely, but your son is right, I much prefer people to ask about it if they have questions. It's only natural to be curious about something they don't know and I'd be happy to talk to them about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a Cpl.of meets with a wheelchair user who had a spinal injury.

He did tell me he got abuse on here, which is shocking.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"It will put some people off...but so might tattoos or piercings or height or anything else. ....people have all kinds of preferences and prejudices, I think all you can do is be upfront and find the ones who don't mind.

Thanks _risky_mare, I think you're right. Gets me down a little bit, but everyone has someone who'll be attracted to them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love your positive outlook on life dude!

I'd go to socials and clubs, sounds like when people meet you and get to know you, your wheelchair will be less of an issue!

As far as messaging on here, if the numpties can't be arsed to read your profile properly then that's their problem not yours!

Best of luck x

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"I’m also disabled and have experienced this, it upset me at 1st but I’ve learnt that if they can’t see past my disability then there not worth my time.

My moto’s are “something’s are hard but not impossible” and

“different is sometimes very good”

Plus you look hot and have a nice profile so definitely there loss

Thanks very much, I ought to adopt this mindset myself

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Don’t take it to heart mate. It’s bloody hard for all men on here! Theres’s a lady on Fab in a wheel chair and she’s not short of meets. I just think it’s a general problem for all men on Fab, I get talking to quite a few ladies and then they just disappear for one reason or another so don’t think it’s you. You just gotta keep trying. Good luck."

Thank you TastyT! I'll keep trying and just be myself

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By *orthatry84Couple
over a year ago

cardiff

Thanks _risky_mare, I think you're right. Gets me down a little bit, but everyone has someone who'll be attracted to them!"

Don’t let it get you down, as you can see there are lots of us who can see you as the sexy guy you are, shame you aren’t closer!

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

This is the problem with people not reading profiles.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"I've had a Cpl.of meets with a wheelchair user who had a spinal injury.

He did tell me he got abuse on here, which is shocking."

I haven't had any abuse, that's awful.

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

It wouldn’t put me off. I’m all about the personality anyway, certainly initially. If we click, we click.

Although I understand there are some pretty awful people about, there was another recent poster who had a shitty reception to his disability at a social. The majority of us won’t be like that, but I don’t know how else you can protect yourself from those people when you have been as upfront as you have.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Love your positive outlook on life dude!

I'd go to socials and clubs, sounds like when people meet you and get to know you, your wheelchair will be less of an issue!

As far as messaging on here, if the numpties can't be arsed to read your profile properly then that's their problem not yours!

Best of luck x"

Thanks littlebeaver, good idea! I think that's my next port of call

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Would it put me off? Logistics aside, no probably not.

In your favour you have good pictures, a great physique and you seem polite and respectful. Oh and despite arguably having more reason than most to be down about potential meets ghosting you, you aren't doing the classic 'woe is (look at) me' thing.

All the best to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the most beautiful women I've met was in a chair.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"It wouldn’t put me off. I’m all about the personality anyway, certainly initially. If we click, we click.

What kind of reception did he have, would you mind elaborating?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've done alright.

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"Would it put me off? Logistics aside, no probably not.

All the best to you

Thanks for the kind words, all the advice and feedback on here has been brilliant. There are lots of really good people on here

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

"I've done alright.

Teach me your ways! (Awesome wheelchair rims by the way!)

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By *omesWoman
over a year ago

Surrey

I wouldn't worry to much as it takes mouths for most men to get a meet or even a reply on Fabs.

But you are close to Bristol Gardens which is full of fab members and the Sussex social meets around the Brighton area to. Both are great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omfg!!!!!

I fucking detest this fucking load of patronising bollocks.

Don't mind me......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've done alright.

Teach me your ways! (Awesome wheelchair rims by the way!)"

Haha thanks!

Well, I did once get blocked by a guy when I told him I was a wheelchair user (I didn't used to have it on my profile). I just shrugged and moved on.

Never had any abuse though like the person upthread. That's shocking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your legs might not work but damn the rest of you does

My ex was a wheelchair user and although it was different we still had a very satisfying sex life.

Im sure you're more than aware that some people just wont know how to deal with your disability or want to find out (without sounding harsh or generalising people are here looking for hassle free sex). It does leave you at a disadvantage but means you sell yourself in other ways.

Go to clubs or socials, spend more time in the forums or chatrooms, let people get to know you and your personality and Im sure that spark will happen x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Omfg!!!!!

I fucking detest this fucking load of patronising bollocks.

Don't mind me...... "

Par for the course on this kind of thread though, isn't it?

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By *amesnite11 OP Man
over a year ago

Brighton

" I wouldn't worry to much as it takes mouths for most men to get a meet or even a reply on Fabs.

But you are close to Bristol Gardens which is full of fab members and the Sussex social meets around the Brighton area to. Both are great

Thank you _omes! I think I'll go to the Sussex social meets, but I think Bristol Gardens has stairs to get into right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Omfg!!!!!

I fucking detest this fucking load of patronising bollocks.

Don't mind me......

Par for the course on this kind of thread though, isn't it?

Ya. Nothing changes....

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Unfortunately there are some utterly horrid people in this world who will never understand or accept people being different in any shape or form whether a disability, mental or physical, an illness, a colour, race.. I could go on.

Either way op they are not worth you wasting your time on them.

Good luck and enjoy the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah they think asking questions is offensive but if they thought about there action completely ignoring you or the situation is a lot more offensive. Shame your not closer we’re holding a socail in just over a week and would of been more than happy for you to come along.

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By *s_macWoman
over a year ago

Traffic land

"It wouldn’t put me off. I’m all about the personality anyway, certainly initially. If we click, we click.

What kind of reception did he have, would you mind elaborating?"

I’ll pm you

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By *uriousgirl85Woman
over a year ago

Lincs

Well.... I have to say if you were closer... fuck the wheelchair I’d give you the ride of your life

you are HOT xx

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Seriously couldn’t give a hoot!

If we like you and you fit what we’re looking for then we’ll meet, we don’t discriminate and this includes positive discrimination which we’re not fans of either. You get out what you put in regardless is our motto. Be bitter expect negativity, be welcoming and approachable and you’ll get that in return and if not you have your dignity (the upper hand) that’s the approach we take.

Stick with it and good luck!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

It would "put me off" as I like to hang playmates from brackets and my playroom is on the third floor.

I'm morbidly obese and some men like to throw their playmates around the bedroom.

I don't think they're rude or ignorant for not wanting me. They have their preferences and i have mine.

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By *omesWoman
over a year ago

Surrey

" I wouldn't worry to much as it takes mouths for most men to get a meet or even a reply on Fabs.

But you are close to Bristol Gardens which is full of fab members and the Sussex social meets around the Brighton area to. Both are great

Thank you _omes! I think I'll go to the Sussex social meets, but I think Bristol Gardens has stairs to get into right?"

Everyone that goes to the Sussex social are really nice!

If your worried about access there are better places in Kent and they are a lot more fun

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

Were you on here a while ago?. Think I remember talking to you,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your ever this way, give us a shout

I don't see a wheelchair just a fit guy and hey the wheelchair can be a lot of fun to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had a Cpl.of meets with a wheelchair user who had a spinal injury.

He did tell me he got abuse on here, which is shocking.

I haven't had any abuse, that's awful. "

He's now left fab....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jamie your right, Me also as soon as you mention your in a wheelchair end of, They need to speak to my last 4 partners and ex-wife well maybe not but, but we all move on and change, maybe some single girl need a MAN in a wheelchair they don't know what where missing. I'm a spinal Injury.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t let it put you off being here buddy! Stick with it and I’m sure you’ll meet some great people along the way. My ex was in a wheelchair, me and her had no issues, I understand your frustrations to a level as we used to get some funny looks on nights out but sod them!

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