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"If you don't want to speak to the others, then don't speak to the others. I don't see what the problem is?" The problem is I should keep options open and not invest time or attention or whatever else just on one person just in case anything goes wrong. | |||
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"If you don't want to speak to the others, then don't speak to the others. I don't see what the problem is? The problem is I should keep options open and not invest time or attention or whatever else just on one person just in case anything goes wrong. " Depends what you're after. Are you looking for a monogamous relationship? Or are you looking for sex with different people? | |||
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"Wilkesy. Again your asking the forum a question you know the answer too. Your own reply shows this. You really should trust your gut instinct moor than you seem to." I do trust my gut a lot but it's giving me differently ideas. Is it saying yeah concentrate on this guy or is it saying don't focus on one guy and keep chatting to loads! | |||
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"Wilkesy. Again your asking the forum a question you know the answer too. Your own reply shows this. You really should trust your gut instinct moor than you seem to. I do trust my gut a lot but it's giving me differently ideas. Is it saying yeah concentrate on this guy or is it saying don't focus on one guy and keep chatting to loads!" If you don't know, then perhaps prioritise one guy but still keep chatting with a couple of others, go for coffee with them, etc. | |||
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"Maybe keep in contact with the others but just keep in bubbling along. See how it works out with the guy that has grabbed your attention. If it doesn't work then you can always chat to the others and see who else you want to meet. No harm in it at all." best way. I’ve had meets where I think it’s going to be perfect. But actually isn’t. So keep your options open for now | |||
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"Wilkesy. Again your asking the forum a question you know the answer too. Your own reply shows this. You really should trust your gut instinct moor than you seem to. I do trust my gut a lot but it's giving me differently ideas. Is it saying yeah concentrate on this guy or is it saying don't focus on one guy and keep chatting to loads!" If your gut is undecided then so are you. Keep your options open until you absolutely know. I can't recall exactly what your thread was about the other day but it seems like you are rebounding. In that case anyone can easily make rash decisions. You could get hurt again. If this guy you mention now is truly great he will rise to the top and you have a winner. | |||
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" If you don't know, then perhaps prioritise one guy but still keep chatting with a couple of others, go for coffee with them, etc." That's just wasting other people's time. | |||
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" If you don't know, then perhaps prioritise one guy but still keep chatting with a couple of others, go for coffee with them, etc. That's just wasting other people's time. " Potentially yes but the nature of fab is that situations can change very quickly. You also can never be sure of the other persons true intentions. Have to protect yourself as a priority. She wouldn't be telling the others it's just them I would have thought and let's face it if any got to meet her for just a one off it wouldn't exactly be the end of the world for them. | |||
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"This one is for us birds to answer (men welcome but it's the women folk I need) So I've opened the age filters and the messages have been coming through, speaking to about 6 guys with views to meeting them ALL staggered over the week, yeah all seems cool right? Noooo, cos then one comes through and blows everyone else out the water and that's it then, don't want to speak to anyone else but that's what I shouldn't do cos it's the one I concentrate on that usually isn't the best choice but he's so beautiful and his accent and voice is lush. So women folk, how'd you all spread your attention equally without favouring the one?" i speak to them all, you arent dating them and have nothing to lose by not speaking to them and if you cant decide offer a MMMMMMF :P | |||
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"Op, the only problem with chatting or keeping others on a back burner is that your setting up an expectation of a meet, and naturally it won't happen with all bar one, and that would ultimately make you a time waster from the other guys point if view!! You and other guys are better off focusing and spend your valuable time with ones you want to "actually" meet rather than empty chats, that's why alot of peeps get pissed off about time wasters as they chat endlessly and think it's going somewhere then, silence or no thanks!! Would you like it if the the guy you actually want to meet, juggles you, then drops you for another last minute ??!! " That's what happened to me recently. I'd been speaking to a guy for a month with the plan to meet next weekend as he was away for two weeks skiing then I got a message saying he's been chatting to his ex the past few days so unfortunately won't be able to make plans with me as he's giving things another try. Perfectly acceptable reason but still left me a bit high and dry as he was the one I was looking forward to meeting. That's why I don't really want to focus on just one guy in case something stops the meet again. Would be easier if a certain newcastle based beast would live in Wales but such is life! | |||
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"Wilkesy. Again your asking the forum a question you know the answer too. Your own reply shows this. You really should trust your gut instinct moor than you seem to. I do trust my gut a lot but it's giving me differently ideas. Is it saying yeah concentrate on this guy or is it saying don't focus on one guy and keep chatting to loads!" You are overthinking this. Keep chatting to a shortlist. Any worthwhile will hang in there and you will get a better picture of their true nature so you can make an informed decision. Unless of course you just want a random fuck in which case pick the prettiest one. You need to decide what you really want. For the masses, no I'm not on her list..... | |||
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"Op, the only problem with chatting or keeping others on a back burner is that your setting up an expectation of a meet, and naturally it won't happen with all bar one, and that would ultimately make you a time waster from the other guys point if view!! You and other guys are better off focusing and spend your valuable time with ones you want to "actually" meet rather than empty chats, that's why alot of peeps get pissed off about time wasters as they chat endlessly and think it's going somewhere then, silence or no thanks!! Would you like it if the the guy you actually want to meet, juggles you, then drops you for another last minute ??!! That's what happened to me recently. I'd been speaking to a guy for a month with the plan to meet next weekend as he was away for two weeks skiing then I got a message saying he's been chatting to his ex the past few days so unfortunately won't be able to make plans with me as he's giving things another try. Perfectly acceptable reason but still left me a bit high and dry as he was the one I was looking forward to meeting. That's why I don't really want to focus on just one guy in case something stops the meet again. Would be easier if a certain newcastle based beast would live in Wales but such is life!" Mad.....they are all mad. I would jump at the chance to meet you. I fit the top part of your profile but not the age......like you say..such is life. | |||
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"This one is for us birds to answer (men welcome but it's the women folk I need) So I've opened the age filters and the messages have been coming through, speaking to about 6 guys with views to meeting them ALL staggered over the week, yeah all seems cool right? Noooo, cos then one comes through and blows everyone else out the water and that's it then, don't want to speak to anyone else but that's what I shouldn't do cos it's the one I concentrate on that usually isn't the best choice but he's so beautiful and his accent and voice is lush. So women folk, how'd you all spread your attention equally without favouring the one?" You tend to obsess over one, so you need to FORCE yourself to keep chatting to the others, or at least a couple of them lol! I am a bit the same, but the most exciting one is often the one who is not really available, just indulging a fantasy, and then you risk dissapointment. I can't handle six at once though, I get confused with more than a couple of new torsos in my inbox! | |||
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"I do chat with a few but I like to focus my attention on one and only meet that one whilst it’s fun to do so. It works for me " this exactly | |||
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"I'm hoping my profile clearly explains what it is I'm looking for. I do only want one guy so hoping that comes across in my profile?" What it is you're 'looking for' doesn't really display itself for you to go out and find, just tends to be you'll know when you see it. Assume that you have tried other avenues though for this? Else that's very eggy in one baskety. I find fabswingers quite niche | |||
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"There is a mathematical problem called the Secretary problem that is called the optimal stopping problem in computer science it might help to solve a problem similar to this one. " Some would say there's a solution in computer science for everything | |||
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"This one is for us birds to answer (men welcome but it's the women folk I need) So I've opened the age filters and the messages have been coming through, speaking to about 6 guys with views to meeting them ALL staggered over the week, yeah all seems cool right? Noooo, cos then one comes through and blows everyone else out the water and that's it then, don't want to speak to anyone else but that's what I shouldn't do cos it's the one I concentrate on that usually isn't the best choice but he's so beautiful and his accent and voice is lush. So women folk, how'd you all spread your attention equally without favouring the one?" Be greedy. Share the love | |||
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"I'm hoping my profile clearly explains what it is I'm looking for. I do only want one guy so hoping that comes across in my profile?" The joy of fab! Keep your options open and don’t hold any expectations, then you’ll only ever be pleasantly surprised. I do wonder though if your focus on the one means you’re always wondering who might pop up next. | |||
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"Do you tell that person that you've agreed to meet others. " This is a swingers site. Nobody should be surprised that you've arranged to meet more than one person! I would be surprised if someone *wasn't* talking to others! | |||
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"This one is for us birds to answer (men welcome but it's the women folk I need) So I've opened the age filters and the messages have been coming through, speaking to about 6 guys with views to meeting them ALL staggered over the week, yeah all seems cool right? Noooo, cos then one comes through and blows everyone else out the water and that's it then, don't want to speak to anyone else but that's what I shouldn't do cos it's the one I concentrate on that usually isn't the best choice but he's so beautiful and his accent and voice is lush. So women folk, how'd you all spread your attention equally without favouring the one?" I try not to favour any. Usually pick men that are different in each way. Mr nice voice- Monday coffee Mr six pack- afternoon delight. Mr come to bed eyes- evening of fun Mr charming- dinner Then I decide which one to favour | |||
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"Do you tell that person that you've agreed to meet others. This is a swingers site. Nobody should be surprised that you've arranged to meet more than one person! I would be surprised if someone *wasn't* talking to others!" I do and blow me the problems it causes with the jealous needy guys! If they see a new verification bloody hell!!! You've two/timed them and your a whore! Honesty you can't win on here! | |||
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"I'm just wondering how you have enough time to meet 6 men over one week ! " One a day & rest on the Sabbath. I’ll get the popcorn. | |||
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"I'm just wondering how you have enough time to meet 6 men over one week ! One a day & rest on the Sabbath. I’ll get the popcorn. " I'm clearly doing Fab wrong!! | |||
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"Never let one man capture your attention until you've totally captured his btw " Love this | |||
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"This one is for us birds to answer (men welcome but it's the women folk I need) So I've opened the age filters and the messages have been coming through, speaking to about 6 guys with views to meeting them ALL staggered over the week, yeah all seems cool right? Noooo, cos then one comes through and blows everyone else out the water and that's it then, don't want to speak to anyone else but that's what I shouldn't do cos it's the one I concentrate on that usually isn't the best choice but he's so beautiful and his accent and voice is lush. So women folk, how'd you all spread your attention equally without favouring the one?" By my own personal experience of fab fellas I would try & keep them all on the go never seems to work out well for me giving 1 all of my attention..until you've met the favoured man you don't really know him. He could be an arse or amazing or even worse be a complete let down | |||
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"Never let one man capture your attention until you've totally captured his btw Love this " Thank you, it's not a quote either | |||
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"This one is for us birds to answer (men welcome but it's the women folk I need) So I've opened the age filters and the messages have been coming through, speaking to about 6 guys with views to meeting them ALL staggered over the week, yeah all seems cool right? Noooo, cos then one comes through and blows everyone else out the water and that's it then, don't want to speak to anyone else but that's what I shouldn't do cos it's the one I concentrate on that usually isn't the best choice but he's so beautiful and his accent and voice is lush. So women folk, how'd you all spread your attention equally without favouring the one?" I don't get your profile. You completely belong on POF/Match. Matt. | |||
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"Never let one man capture your attention until you've totally captured his btw " | |||
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"Just remember... You are not dating the guy." She's looking for a boyfriend and doesn't meet people from here. So what's going on? | |||
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"This one is for us birds to answer (men welcome but it's the women folk I need) So I've opened the age filters and the messages have been coming through, speaking to about 6 guys with views to meeting them ALL staggered over the week, yeah all seems cool right? Noooo, cos then one comes through and blows everyone else out the water and that's it then, don't want to speak to anyone else but that's what I shouldn't do cos it's the one I concentrate on that usually isn't the best choice but he's so beautiful and his accent and voice is lush. So women folk, how'd you all spread your attention equally without favouring the one?" That's easy, don't ask them their cock size | |||
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"Oh my fucking god. Have you ever met someone that is so blatantly better looking than you that you're scared to even make eye contact with them? That's what that guy was just now. I've never felt so inferior before and he didn't even do anything to make me feel like that, he was really complimentary, but I felt like I was punching!" No one punches, stop that woman! | |||
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"Never let one man capture your attention until you've totally captured his btw " Spot on | |||
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"Just remember... You are not dating the guy." I think that's part of her dilemma though, she wants too. | |||
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"See how it goes with Mr Shiny, keep quiet about the other ones!! Sounds like he's your top guy, hope you like him in person." Who the hell is Mr Shiny and what’s he doing with my future ex wife? Not impressed Ms Wilkes. You know you’re the love of my life! | |||
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"Never let one man capture your attention until you've totally captured his btw " ^^^^ | |||
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"Just remember... You are not dating the guy. I think that's part of her dilemma though, she wants too." Where are these guys from then... Renta groom? | |||
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"Think the solution is just not meet anyone. Too much of a headfuck. Can't put people against each other, whatever one I choose to meet the next mans gonna feel like he's second choice. How many times have we seen men and women on here saying they've been contacted weeks or months after they were supposed to meet and they've felt like they were a back up. I don't want anyone to feel bad or like a backup. Just gonna keep myself to myself it's easier!" Your head seems to be anywhere other than where it should be. Taking a break probably for the best. Come back fresher. | |||
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"Think the solution is just not meet anyone. Too much of a headfuck. Can't put people against each other, whatever one I choose to meet the next mans gonna feel like he's second choice. How many times have we seen men and women on here saying they've been contacted weeks or months after they were supposed to meet and they've felt like they were a back up. I don't want anyone to feel bad or like a backup. Just gonna keep myself to myself it's easier! Your head seems to be anywhere other than where it should be. Taking a break probably for the best. Come back fresher." Nah not from here. Just put my inbox on lockdown and will tell people I'm closed for winter! | |||
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"Think the solution is just not meet anyone. Too much of a headfuck. Can't put people against each other, whatever one I choose to meet the next mans gonna feel like he's second choice. How many times have we seen men and women on here saying they've been contacted weeks or months after they were supposed to meet and they've felt like they were a back up. I don't want anyone to feel bad or like a backup. Just gonna keep myself to myself it's easier!" I don't mind about the other guys | |||
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"Think the solution is just not meet anyone. Too much of a headfuck. Can't put people against each other, whatever one I choose to meet the next mans gonna feel like he's second choice. How many times have we seen men and women on here saying they've been contacted weeks or months after they were supposed to meet and they've felt like they were a back up. I don't want anyone to feel bad or like a backup. Just gonna keep myself to myself it's easier!" Wow...that shows a level of consideration and empathy that i've rarely seen This is however, a site for swingers and NSA relationships...anyone with some common.sense should know that people speak with and may potentially meet numerous people. It's the objective for being here. I've read your profile OP, and you seem to be looking for that one FWB that would be mutually exclusive...a tall order when on fab. If you meet him, it goes great and he's on board with this, just politely message the other people you've been chatting to and say that circumstances have changed and you won't be meeting. Priorities and circumstances change all the time. If the other people you were chatting to become testy or aggressive for you not going ahead with a meet, then they were clearly not for you anyways. Best of luck with your search | |||
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"This one is for us birds to answer (men welcome but it's the women folk I need) So I've opened the age filters and the messages have been coming through, speaking to about 6 guys with views to meeting them ALL staggered over the week, yeah all seems cool right? Noooo, cos then one comes through and blows everyone else out the water and that's it then, don't want to speak to anyone else but that's what I shouldn't do cos it's the one I concentrate on that usually isn't the best choice but he's so beautiful and his accent and voice is lush. So women folk, how'd you all spread your attention equally without favouring the one?" Short answer you cannot. Seen it alot, it starts off all yes yes yes. Then something happens you meet him, the one, the natural submissive inside takes over, before you know it, your a couple, emotions run high, you cannot control. But its okay, it happens. Your more inclined to singular relationships its cool | |||
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"Think the solution is just not meet anyone. Too much of a headfuck. Can't put people against each other, whatever one I choose to meet the next mans gonna feel like he's second choice. How many times have we seen men and women on here saying they've been contacted weeks or months after they were supposed to meet and they've felt like they were a back up. I don't want anyone to feel bad or like a backup. Just gonna keep myself to myself it's easier! Your head seems to be anywhere other than where it should be. Taking a break probably for the best. Come back fresher. Nah not from here. Just put my inbox on lockdown and will tell people I'm closed for winter! " Well that's a break init | |||
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"I can say it makes me feel really bad when a girl says she will meet me, then says she cant, maybe some other time, then a verification pops up that she met someone else. It's happened me a few times and I remain friendly and polite but I don't think its a nice way to treat someone. " Yeah I said not to leave verification just in case. | |||
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"Do you tell that person that you've agreed to meet others. This is a swingers site. Nobody should be surprised that you've arranged to meet more than one person! I would be surprised if someone *wasn't* talking to others! I do and blow me the problems it causes with the jealous needy guys! If they see a new verification bloody hell!!! You've two/timed them and your a whore! Honesty you can't win on here! " Great filter though isn’t it? I’ve had that happen to me a couple of times and those people are no longer of interest to me, I’m here for fun, not for drama | |||
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"I can say it makes me feel really bad when a girl says she will meet me, then says she cant, maybe some other time, then a verification pops up that she met someone else. It's happened me a few times and I remain friendly and polite but I don't think its a nice way to treat someone. " I used to think that way when I first joined Fabs, I couldn't get my head around the whole juggling / sharing concept. I get it now & sometimes people's free time aligns better with another than myself, I don't allow myself to think anymore about it than that. | |||
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