FabSwingers.com forum: Levels of being bi

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just putting this question out there, my wife is newish to being bi. Are there different levels to Being bi? For men and women thanks in advance K and D x

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

Does she find both men and women sexually attractive? If she does, then she's proberbly bisexual.

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

"Just putting this question out there, my wife is newish to being bi. Are there different levels to Being bi? For men and women thanks in advance K and D x"

Different levels? It's not like a video game lol. Of course you can find one sex more appealing than the other. I really don't understand your question lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We were asked "how bi are you" we didn't know, how to answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course there are different levels of being bi - just like there are different levels of most things.

But being Bi isn't just a mark on a line - romantic interests and sexual interests can be different - even quite opposite for some people - they are for me...

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By *iss GalitzineWoman
over a year ago

Near Bath

In my opinion..Bi curious if it appeals to you but you haven't tried. Then I suppose once you've been with a woman and liked it and want to keep doing it, bi sexual. I probably should update my profile! Blokes a bit different maybe, as some happy for oral but not all the way! Hope this helps.

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

On the scale of 0 to bi via Alan Cumming and Lady Gaga?

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"We were asked "how bi are you" we didn't know, how to answer "

I would imagine the person meant 'are you just "bisexual" to fulfil your husbands fantasies, or do you genuinely find women sexually attractive?'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Of course there are different levels of being bi - just like there are different levels of most things.

But being Bi isn't just a mark on a line - romantic interests and sexual interests can be different - even quite opposite for some people - they are for me...

K loves being with men and women. She enjoys satisfying men and women. Squirting licking and lots more....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm also pretty sure bisexual doesn't extend past sexual attraction.

I've heard women say they're bisexual but wouldn't be in a relstionship with a guy or a girl, just that they enjoy playing with them sexually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really depends on your definition of bisexual. On this forum we have opinions that stretch all the way back to the 1800s.

In some opions bi means you could be in a romantic relationship with either sex. On the other extreme there are those who believe you can have sexual contact with someone of the same sex and be totally straight.

At the end of the day people are trying to establish what the rules of engagement are. That will probably differ from person to person and meet to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's bi curious. The idea turns her on and probably you too.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"She's bi curious. The idea turns her on and probably you too. "

What do you have to do, in your opinion, to get the full bisexual label? Is there a particular sex act? Romantic feelings? Amount of orgasms?

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Yeah its not black and white, you can be fully straight, fully gay, or pretty much anywhere in between.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I’m bi but I’ll only play if there’s a connection.

Just because you say bi on your profile people seem to think you’ll play with anyone. If I meet a couple I have to like both of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there is different levels. I’m bi but call myself bi playful, I enjoy playing with woman but I wouldn’t look to date a woman. That’s purely because I enjoy the whole male female dynamic more.

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I guess it could depend on how involved you’re likely to get with the same sex person. Some may just want to kiss, some like to receive but not give, some will do everything sexually but not ever consider anything relationshipesque (me

So maybe just decide what you’re willing to do/not do and just explain that.

I started on my single profile as bi-curious but got promoted to proper bi on this one after a few particularly naughty girly encounters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We were asked "how bi are you" we didn't know, how to answer "

Yes or no is the only clear answer I could give if asked.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"I think there is different levels. I’m bi but call myself bi playful, I enjoy playing with woman but I wouldn’t look to date a woman. That’s purely because I enjoy the whole male female dynamic more. "

And yet people who prefer to date the same sex rather than the opposite sex never refer to themselves as 'straight-playful'.

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

There are 50 shades of bi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You either are or you aren't. It's pretty simple really.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I did a thread not long ago. Search “flavours of bi”, it shows lots of scenarios.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"You either are or you aren't. It's pretty simple really. "

No there’s a spectrum. Taking guys. Some are only bi oral. Some like giving anal, some receiving and some do all of the above. But there’s a massive distinction just there and it’s important to understand what people’s expectations are for a meet. We like meeting bi bottom guys because Sir likes fucking. Imagine if a bi oral guy turned up to this scenario

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"You either are or you aren't. It's pretty simple really.

That's like saying there's a spectrum of straightness.

You aren't less straight just because you don't enjoy anal sex. Or less straight because you only want oral sex. You can be 100% straight even if you're asexual and don't have any kind of sexual intimacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/11/17 08:58:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sure there are levels I am probably most acccurately described as Pansexual because gender doesn’t matter to me. Basically if I fancy a person, I fancy them, and their gender is not important to me. However I haven’t met anyone for sex for four years give or thane a couple of months so more accurate to say a non-practising pansexual

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"You either are or you aren't. It's pretty simple really.

That's like saying there's a spectrum of straightness.

No interest in straight but as you’ve gone to the bother, the point is to understand the expectations. And with bi and even gay guys it’s very common for them to identify as one or another. It’s also helpful.

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"You either are or you aren't. It's pretty simple really.

That's like saying there's a spectrum of straightness.

Sexual limits are not the same as sexuality.

You can be as gay as you like and not enjoy anal sex. But as long as you set that expectation in advance then that's ok.

Just like you can be straight and decide that you don't enjoy penis-in-vagina sex.

What you need to get over is the idea that particular sex acts make you more or less straight/bisexual/gay/lesbian. They don't. They're not related at all.

If you like meeting bottoms who receive anal sex, that's nothing to do with their bisexuality - there are plenty of straight men who like to receive anal from women while bottoming. A man who is bisexual may only like giving anal sex, or might not like anal sex at all (plenty of men don't enjoy anal play), but it doesn't make him less bisexual.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"You either are or you aren't. It's pretty simple really.

That's like saying there's a spectrum of straightness.

Sexual limits are not the same as sexuality.

You can be as gay as you like and not enjoy anal sex. But as long as you set that expectation in advance then that's ok.

Just like you can be straight and decide that you don't enjoy penis-in-vagina sex.

What you need to get over is the idea that particular sex acts make you more or less straight/bisexual/gay/lesbian. They don't. They're not related at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bi curious if it appeals to you but you haven't tried. Then I suppose once you've been with a woman and liked it and want to keep doing it, bi sexual. "

I see it in a similar way to this.

I have tried it, mainly when I was 19, 20, and in my early twenties.

However, I kept feeling like I hadn't really had sex until I had had a cock inside me during the act. Suppose that indicates a very physical need for being straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

p.s. It really irritates me when a couple writes to me with her being bi and they propose to meet me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if its in your mind but never acted then curious - if you dontmind a woman playing in the heat of the moment bi-playful - if you happy to play with a women give and receive - with or without a fella there then bi sexual - of course you can be bisexual and never done the deed - just be yourself and do what makes you happy

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"We were asked "how bi are you" we didn't know, how to answer "

OP, they might have just been gauging if she was really. Some couples but bi-female as click bait more than reality.

Probably easier just to chat with them about what she likes (genuine girl to girl chat).

MrB

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think using the word "level" maybe causes confusion - perhaps "boundaries" would be a better way to put it.

That way you can classify (in Fab terms) as follows and use boundaries to clarify how you play as you would with anyone you meet:

Straight - only play with the opposite sex

Bi-curious - interested in playing with the same sex as well as the opposite, but haven't experienced same sex play yet.

Bisexual - Will play with either gender

Gay - Will only play with the same gender as themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One possible categorisation (given in order of increasing "bi-ness"!):

For men:

kiss another guy

Wank another guy

Suck a cock

Fuck another guy

Be fucked by another guy

For women:

Kiss another woman

Kiss/touch another woman's breasts (sexually)

Finger another woman

Eat another woman's pussy

??Strap on from another woman

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"One possible categorisation (given in order of increasing "bi-ness"!):

For men:

kiss another guy

Wank another guy

Suck a cock

Fuck another guy

Be fucked by another guy

For women:

Kiss another woman

Kiss/touch another woman's breasts (sexually)

Finger another woman

Eat another woman's pussy

??Strap on from another woman

What if you like strap on sex but not kissing or oral?

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

"One possible categorisation (given in order of increasing "bi-ness"!):

For men:

kiss another guy

Wank another guy

Suck a cock

Fuck another guy

Be fucked by another guy

I (mr) am as straight as a straight thing that just been straightened, so I'm no expert. But I'd feel kissing and sucking being more bi than fucking. I don't think you can chart it like that tbh

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

??Strap on from another woman

What if you like strap on sex but not kissing or oral?"

I'd have thought a straight woman would do strap-on sex before the others?? But I'm a bloke, so not the worlds best source of info

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By *uriousgirl85Woman
over a year ago

Lincs

Sooo I like men and women I guess that makes me bisexual, however I only like to have sex with a woman occasionally as a treat. I’m not sure I could ever be in a relationship with a woman as would miss cock too much.... so maybe I’m not 100% bi but more than bi curious... I definitely agree there are different levels of bi-ness

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By *imandHerNottsCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

I’ve been told I’m on the next level!!

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By *arnsleycouple7683Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

I'm (f) not sexually attracted to women. I'm just not.

I can say whether or not I think woman is pretty or not, but there's zero sexual attraction. It's like saying whether or not a child is cute or not.

But in a club I've kissed a woman and licked a boob, and had my boob licked by one.

Why? Because they asked me to and I didn't see the harm in it.

Did it turn me on? Nope. Did it repulse me? Nope. It was nothing, it was like putting socks on. Really neither here nor there.

I'm open to doing pretty much anything with a women except oral, if I was asked to, but just because I'm easy going. I find sexual activity with a woman really of boring. I'm only sexually attracted to men.

I'm situationally bi lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading this thread I'm changing my profile to bi-confused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You either are or you aren't. It's pretty simple really.

That's like saying there's a spectrum of straightness.

Sexual limits are not the same as sexuality.

You can be as gay as you like and not enjoy anal sex. But as long as you set that expectation in advance then that's ok.

Just like you can be straight and decide that you don't enjoy penis-in-vagina sex.

What you need to get over is the idea that particular sex acts make you more or less straight/bisexual/gay/lesbian. They don't. They're not related at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading this thread I'm changing my profile to bi-confused

Probably because the definitions are so poorly defined and outdated. Ask 10 different people on fab you'll probably get 10 different answers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"After reading this thread I'm changing my profile to bi-confused

Probably because the definitions are so poorly defined and outdated. Ask 10 different people on fab you'll probably get 10 different answers."

I know. I have my own definition in my head of who I am sexually....Won't bore you with the details. Interesting to read how different people's definitions are though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used the label bi-curious when I was experimenting to see if I liked it. Funnily enough my next phase was Straight because my initial intentional experiments, rather than opportunistic experiences in my younger years, were a bit meh. I realised later that I had to feel as attracted to a guy as I was to a woman to really enjoy it. That was when I realised I was probably bisexual. Then with further realisations about how I felt about transgendered people too I realised a more accurate term for me is Pansexual. Now I realise there are people I really fancy and would love to have sex with but their gender is in the background. I also remain predominantly heterosexual sexual on the sense that I fancy cis- women more often than other genders. But as I don’t act on it it’s a bit of a moot point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a black belt in bisexuality.... I will kiss, fuck and be in a relationship with males or females.

Power up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bi this Bi that - it's Allsorts for Me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm hetero flexible.

I find women sexy and amazing (and a bit scary) but I couldn't see myself in a relationship with a lady.

I prefer there to be a man involved when im with another woman.

Not saying I'd rule out a relationship with a woman if the right one came along.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me sex is fun. If I'm getting a really good blowjob I'm not going to get bent out of shape about which gender I'm getting from. I'm not going to say no to one of the pleasures in life because it makes me a this or a that. There's one life and I'm going to live it to the max. If it causes frowns and tut tuts along the way all that tells me is I'm doing something right!

The only "level" I know is the level of fun I'm having. Everything else is just details.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not exactly replying specifically to OP...but the times husbands in couples change profile from straight to curious to Bi ...cant they work out their own sensuality or its varying degrees ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not exactly replying specifically to OP...but the times husbands in couples change profile from straight to curious to Bi ...cant they work out their own sensuality or its varying degrees ..."

Today I wake up and I'm in the mood for a curvy girl. Tomorrow I'm in the mood for some cock. I don't think our moods and tastes are a flat line constant.

Sometimes I go to bi night and only play with the girls. "But it says on your profile you're bi????" "Yes I am but not tonight"

Your sexuality is more about what you are in the mood for at a given moment more than a contract or specification of performance you can expect from an individual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just putting this question out there, my wife is newish to being bi. Are there different levels to Being bi? For men and women thanks in advance K and D x"

im fully bi like men and women equally

but im sometimes pansexual where the sex of the person doesnt matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I have changed my profile from curious to bisexual recently, I've not had lots of experience with ladies only since trying the whole swinging scene as I have been with the hubby for 18 years ...before that was just men and silly kisses with girls really as dares when I was younger .

But having fem on fem since swinging has actually made me realise I do really enjoy it all more than i thought was possible lol ...both giving and receiving , i just love it . I don't like the idea of people watching as such though ...if hubby or whoever is there I prefer all to be involved , don't mind them stepping back for a while but don't like been ' on show ' which we have had lots of requests for . Thinking back I suppose I have always looked at girls and thought wow she is hot or whatever with the odd one but never thought more of it at the time . I do now actually look at girls differently and find that I do have an attraction to them too and when looking for couples i prefer if the female is bi ....Although not something that would bother me if they wernt as i love penetration of a real cock so much haha .

So in the stereo typical world wonder I would come under as I don't think I could give up men and be in a full relationship with a female . ( obviously if I wasn't married either)

Mrs L xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not exactly replying specifically to OP...but the times husbands in couples change profile from straight to curious to Bi ...cant they work out their own sensuality or its varying degrees ...

Today I wake up and I'm in the mood for a curvy girl. Tomorrow I'm in the mood for some cock. I don't think our moods and tastes are a flat line constant.

Sometimes I go to bi night and only play with the girls. "But it says on your profile you're bi????" "Yes I am but not tonight"

Your sexuality is more about what you are in the mood for at a given moment more than a contract or specification of performance you can expect from an individual. "

Completely disagree with that. My sexuality remains consistent. I am bisexual, it's not a mood, or a phase, it's who I am.

What I'm in the mood for varies as it does with anyone regardless of sexuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not exactly replying specifically to OP...but the times husbands in couples change profile from straight to curious to Bi ...cant they work out their own sensuality or its varying degrees ...

Today I wake up and I'm in the mood for a curvy girl. Tomorrow I'm in the mood for some cock. I don't think our moods and tastes are a flat line constant.

Sometimes I go to bi night and only play with the girls. "But it says on your profile you're bi????" "Yes I am but not tonight"

Your sexuality is more about what you are in the mood for at a given moment more than a contract or specification of performance you can expect from an individual.

Completely disagree with that. My sexuality remains consistent. I am bisexual, it's not a mood, or a phase, it's who I am.

What I'm in the mood for varies as it does with anyone regardless of sexuality. "

no mines not a mood. if im attracted to someone i am

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

Your sexuality is more about what you are in the mood for at a given moment more than a contract or specification of performance you can expect from an individual. "

It's really not. Sexuality is who you are attracted to.

Sex acts are what you do with them.

You might not be in the mood for various sex acts, but that doesn't mean your sexuality has changed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not exactly replying specifically to OP...but the times husbands in couples change profile from straight to curious to Bi ...cant they work out their own sensuality or its varying degrees ...

Today I wake up and I'm in the mood for a curvy girl. Tomorrow I'm in the mood for some cock. I don't think our moods and tastes are a flat line constant.

Sometimes I go to bi night and only play with the girls. "But it says on your profile you're bi????" "Yes I am but not tonight"

Your sexuality is more about what you are in the mood for at a given moment more than a contract or specification of performance you can expect from an individual.

Completely disagree with that. My sexuality remains consistent. I am bisexual, it's not a mood, or a phase, it's who I am.

What I'm in the mood for varies as it does with anyone regardless of sexuality. "

The problem comes in when what you are in the mood for on a particular night "appears" to conflict with what is written on your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not exactly replying specifically to OP...but the times husbands in couples change profile from straight to curious to Bi ...cant they work out their own sensuality or its varying degrees ...

Today I wake up and I'm in the mood for a curvy girl. Tomorrow I'm in the mood for some cock. I don't think our moods and tastes are a flat line constant.

Sometimes I go to bi night and only play with the girls. "But it says on your profile you're bi????" "Yes I am but not tonight"

Your sexuality is more about what you are in the mood for at a given moment more than a contract or specification of performance you can expect from an individual.

Completely disagree with that. My sexuality remains consistent. I am bisexual, it's not a mood, or a phase, it's who I am.

What I'm in the mood for varies as it does with anyone regardless of sexuality.

no mines not a mood. if im attracted to someone i am"

I meant in terms of sexual acts. I think it's wrong to suggest (not you) that someone's sexuality is a mood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Different levels? It's not like a video game lol. Of course you can find one sex more appealing than the other. I really don't understand your question lol"

I think it's fair to say that Sexuality is a spectrum. I'm not particularly interested in having a long term relationship with a guy and generally am not attracted to them, but show me a nice cock and i'm all over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not exactly replying specifically to OP...but the times husbands in couples change profile from straight to curious to Bi ...cant they work out their own sensuality or its varying degrees ...

Today I wake up and I'm in the mood for a curvy girl. Tomorrow I'm in the mood for some cock. I don't think our moods and tastes are a flat line constant.

Sometimes I go to bi night and only play with the girls. "But it says on your profile you're bi????" "Yes I am but not tonight"

Your sexuality is more about what you are in the mood for at a given moment more than a contract or specification of performance you can expect from an individual.

Completely disagree with that. My sexuality remains consistent. I am bisexual, it's not a mood, or a phase, it's who I am.

What I'm in the mood for varies as it does with anyone regardless of sexuality.

The problem comes in when what you are in the mood for on a particular night "appears" to conflict with what is written on your profile."

I was at a club recently and was offered a mff but the girl didn't do anything for me so I politely declined and said it wasn't what I was looking for, not 'oh I'm not bi tonight'

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By *ucy LewdWoman
over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"Not exactly replying specifically to OP...but the times husbands in couples change profile from straight to curious to Bi ...cant they work out their own sensuality or its varying degrees ...

Today I wake up and I'm in the mood for a curvy girl. Tomorrow I'm in the mood for some cock. I don't think our moods and tastes are a flat line constant.

Sometimes I go to bi night and only play with the girls. "But it says on your profile you're bi????" "Yes I am but not tonight"

Your sexuality is more about what you are in the mood for at a given moment more than a contract or specification of performance you can expect from an individual.

Completely disagree with that. My sexuality remains consistent. I am bisexual, it's not a mood, or a phase, it's who I am.

What I'm in the mood for varies as it does with anyone regardless of sexuality.

The problem comes in when what you are in the mood for on a particular night "appears" to conflict with what is written on your profile."

There's no problem with that as far as I'm concerned.

If someone ticks the 'anal' box on their profile but turns someone down for it one night I wouldn't assume that they didn't like anal or that there was a 'conflict' with their profile, I would just assume that they didn't want to do it with that particular person that time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I used the word appear in inverted commas.

My girlfriend and I are a bisexual couple. Some nights she says to me that she's just not in the mood to play with another woman. We get to a club where people know we're both bi and she does nothing with the girl. I always get asked by the women if they have done something wrong. I have to explain that she's just not feeling her bi side. I'm not saying you're no longer in one category or another. Just that what it says on your profile was how you felt when did it.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Bisexual - men or women

Bi-curious - hasn't tried it but interested

Bi-playful - plays with the same gender, as long as there is a person of the opposite gender present.

Bi-selfish - happy to receive oral from same gender, but not give.

Orally bi. -mostly men, willing to give and receive oral, but not anal

Of course other definitions are available, so communication is key

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