FabSwingers.com forum: We have just started dating but he doesn’t know I’m on Fab

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So,l have met this guy somewhere and we been on two dates. He likes me. He’s way too laid back not adventurous sex wise. I like to jump on a man and start kissing him or lower a man’s trousers and give him a bj,him he’s Christian type of guy who believes sex should be done at night time. How do l tell him I’m on Fab as l don’t get judged here as we both know why we are here (swinging site). I have naughty thoughts that l have fulfilled here and there. Would love him to join me on here

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No easy way, just tell him before you get too far down the line.

If he's not adventurous sexually he might not be interested, whether he's happy for you to remain is a discussion point...

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

It's difficult. I've started seeing someone too and pondering when to tell him I'm on here and that I run bbw nights at chams!

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By *oubyLoverWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I’d tell him soon rather than later as it sound like you’re not compatible. Better to find out now before feelings are involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you be happy with 'lights out' sex once a month? Just an example, not saying he's like that. But it's something to think about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It appears you have different perspectives on the side of sex, if he's not up for you pulling his trousers down and giving him a bj then I doubt he will be fine with you being on fab. With your fantastic features I'm sure you could find someone more akin to your wants and desires.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show him your profile on here

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

I met a Christian lady (not on here) last year. Debauched in bed. We had a lot of fun.

Since becoming a born again Christian, she's gone all goody two shoes.

Every now and again I give her a nudge, but, she's having none of it.

Gutted really, because I was starting to see some mileage in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No easy way, just tell him before you get too far down the line.

If he's not adventurous sexually he might not be interested, whether he's happy for you to remain is a discussion point..."

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just don't get in too deep (pardon the expression) xx

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

The big question is if you plan on being monogamous with him or not. If you are then just hide your profile, if not, then talk to him about non-monogamy.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I’d test the waters before confessing you’re on Fab. Ask his opinion on something related to the lifestyle that you enjoy without letting him realise you’re in to it.

If he’s Christian then he may not believe in sex before marriage or at least a committed relationship. Also depends on what you are looking for.

Hope it goes well whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess it depends on what you really want and how commited you are to the relationship?

The earlier you mention it the better, especially if you think it may lead somewhere. He may well be shocked, he may find it a turn on, he may want nothing more to do with you.

Could you give fab and the sex life you have, up, for one man?

You have to be honest with him and as importantly to yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell someone before you slept with them.

It changes things knowing a partner is on what is fundamentally a sex site.

They can then make an informed decision about whether they want to have sex with you.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Do what your gut tells you too however seems like you might not be sexually compatible.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I like adventurous sex,now l have been introduced to a threesome,it has made me filthier,naughtier and mmmmm. I will tell him or just break it off with him. I will pick a fight and break it off without telling. Ah risk being judged,never. I like it here more,for the mean time.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Depends.

I'm not really bothered about threesomes and whatnot, so if I was with someone, it wouldn't be something that I'd "need" to do.

I used to tell people I was dating (once I'd established that there was possibly a future with them) that I'd been on here, and without exception they finished with me there and then.

I think this site can lure you into a false sense of security. The fact is, that most people think that swingers are disgusting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends.

I'm not really bothered about threesomes and whatnot, so if I was with someone, it wouldn't be something that I'd "need" to do.

I used to tell people I was dating (once I'd established that there was possibly a future with them) that I'd been on here, and without exception they finished with me there and then.

I think this site can lure you into a false sense of security. The fact is, that most people think that swingers are disgusting."

It’s not like l will be swinging from cock to cock. Maybe it’s because there was something in me and it looks like it has met it’s match on here. I feel very comfortable here and l have never felt the same way anywhere,it’s true though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like adventurous sex,now l have been introduced to a threesome,it has made me filthier,naughtier and mmmmm. I will tell him or just break it off with him. I will pick a fight and break it off without telling. Ah risk being judged,never. I like it here more,for the mean time. "

Ouch! You'll pick a fight with him and break it Off?

Really?

No one here can tell you how to live your life but if this guy means something or might do to you then perhaps he deserves a lityle more honesty... and so do you.

Whatever you decide there is only one answer...

Follow your

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" So,l have met this guy somewhere and we been on two dates. He likes me. He’s way too laid back not adventurous sex wise. I like to jump on a man and start kissing him or lower a man’s trousers and give him a bj,him he’s Christian type of guy who believes sex should be done at night time. How do l tell him I’m on Fab as l don’t get judged here as we both know why we are here (swinging site). I have naughty thoughts that l have fulfilled here and there. Would love him to join me on here

If you have integrity in yourself and respect for others then you already know what to do. There's no dilemma here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't pick a fight with him

. Just tell him you don't want to see him again because you're not compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are remotely considering this relationship lasting, then you have to tell him, and sooner rather than later. If he is disgusted by the idea and harshly judges you, then that may mean you actually aren't compatible anyway, so surely you're better off knowing now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It’s really hard explaining to someone who doesn’t understand swinging (not that it’s supposed to be understood). It makes you look like you have been standing at street corners asking for sex. I will say,I’m not ready to date,l would like time to sort myself out first before l commit to anyone,aaarrrggggg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't pick a fight with him

. Just tell him you don't want to see him again because you're not compatible."

Totally agree!

Or just be honest And give the guy the time to digest the information. If he splits with you anyway will it bother you if you was going to pick a fight with him anyway?? Answer is no!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why start dating him then if all you want to do is have sex with multiple people on here? Hardly fair to lead someone on.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

It strikes me that this is a pointless relationship. You already know that he's not your type sexually.

Why be with a man that you have to try and change?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It’s really hard explaining to someone who doesn’t understand swinging (not that it’s supposed to be understood). It makes you look like you have been standing at street corners asking for sex. I will say,I’m not ready to date,l would like time to sort myself out first before l commit to anyone,aaarrrggggg"

It is difficult I imagine.

Do you like him enough to test the water?

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

Dont tell him nothing. ..wait till u been with him for a bit tjen suggest a 3some...yr tell by his manner if he needs to know yr on fab....he could run off and tell the world. .or be happy. ..but 2 dates ..lol he doesn't need to know..lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two dates and you know all this about his sexual preferences!

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

"Why start dating him then if all you want to do is have sex with multiple people on here? Hardly fair to lead someone on. "

Eye... (I)..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why start dating him then if all you want to do is have sex with multiple people on here? Hardly fair to lead someone on. "

My thoughts exactly

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I think you lnow the answer op.you would have hidden your profile if you really wanted to make it work .

If you don't think hes for you,be honest.people tend to appreciate that and carry on as you were

Miss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think you lnow the answer op.you would have hidden your profile if you really wanted to make it work .

If you don't think hes for you,be honest.people tend to appreciate that and carry on as you were

Miss"

But the truth has a way of coming out when you least expect it

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"I think you lnow the answer op.you would have hidden your profile if you really wanted to make it work .

If you don't think hes for you,be honest.people tend to appreciate that and carry on as you were

Miss

But the truth has a way of coming out when you least expect it "

True,you might find him on here somewhere along the line...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it just me or does none of this ring true?

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

Why do you want to see him again ?

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

A few things to say on this OP...

1) The vanilla dating world is very different to Fab life... just because he's been unadventurous so far doesn't mean he won't be... He might be incredibly kinky at heart but afraid to scare YOU off!! If I were dating a non-swinger I know I'd be cautious about introducing my kinks and fetishes for that very reason, but certainly not sweating it after just 2 dates.

2) Either tell him you're on here and accept the consequences or take a hiatus from the site and give your new relationship a real chance. Don't build a relationship on a lie. There's no honesty, trust or respect in that. Whatever about tiring of or being frustrated in an existing long-term relationship and using Fab to explore, beginning a new relationship on a foundation of deceit will never work.

Good luck with your decision OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends.

I'm not really bothered about threesomes and whatnot, so if I was with someone, it wouldn't be something that I'd "need" to do.

I used to tell people I was dating (once I'd established that there was possibly a future with them) that I'd been on here, and without exception they finished with me there and then.

I think this site can lure you into a false sense of security. The fact is, that most people think that swingers are disgusting."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A few things to say on this OP...

Good luck with your decision OP

Thank you ever so much

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

Wait till hes balls deep in your pussy then show him your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why start dating him then if all you want to do is have sex with multiple people on here? Hardly fair to lead someone on. "

exactly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends.

I'm not really bothered about threesomes and whatnot, so if I was with someone, it wouldn't be something that I'd "need" to do.

I used to tell people I was dating (once I'd established that there was possibly a future with them) that I'd been on here, and without exception they finished with me there and then.

I think this site can lure you into a false sense of security. The fact is, that most people think that swingers are disgusting."

Hit the nail on the head with the last sentence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't tell him !!!

I told a guy I was on here once, turned out he was on here too LOL, but he didn't want to 'date' 'the kinda gal on here'

If someone on here won't date a swinger I can't see someone who isn't accepting it......if I'm wrong though ask him if he's got any decent mates lol.

Good Luck xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't tell him !!!

I told a guy I was on here once, turned out he was on here too LOL, but he didn't want to 'date' 'the kinda gal on here'

If someone on here won't date a swinger I can't see someone who isn't accepting it......if I'm wrong though ask him if he's got any decent mates lol.

Good Luck xx"

True,most guys l have chatted to on here always say,”l won’t date a girl on here”. But you meet me not on here you would want to date me

,l don’t see the difference. At least on here you will be knowing the truth,that l have met guys.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

You've been on two dates. It's not as if he is your partner in any way shape or form. Why tell?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sack it off now. Your not compatible. Plenty more guys about into open sex setups.

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

It's a guy you allow to put parts of his body into parts of yours.

Whether you share the same closeness mentally is entirely your call. For better or worse.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Depends.

I'm not really bothered about threesomes and whatnot, so if I was with someone, it wouldn't be something that I'd "need" to do.

I used to tell people I was dating (once I'd established that there was possibly a future with them) that I'd been on here, and without exception they finished with me there and then.

Sobering thought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cross your frigging legs until you tell him the truth ffs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" ...him he’s Christian type of guy who believes sex should be done at night time... "

"... I will pick a fight and break it off without telling... "

"... It makes you look like you have been standing at street corners asking for sex. I will say,I’m not ready to date,l would like time to sort myself out first before l commit to anyone..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've had 2 dates.

Are you arranging meets still?

Too early for any idea really.

If he turns out to be a keeper... Don't tell him.

The 2 lifestyles aren't in step.

Could you give it up, or want to.

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