FabSwingers.com forum: Chuck Norris

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird. "

And he was still a twat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris got his arse kicked by Bruce Lee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bruce lee was a fake

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Chuck Norris tells the Sun when to set

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris got his arse kicked by Bruce Lee "

Too fucking right he did!

Wooosaiiiii!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris threw a grenade once, in a film, and killed 50 people.

And then the grenade exploded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris died 12 years ago, Death is just to scared to tell him

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

There is no evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

M C Hammer learned the hard way, Chuck Norris can touch this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris wipes his arse with 40 grit sandpaper, and says 'it's soft, long, and very very strong'

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By *ookMan
over a year ago

london

I am going to give you so many lefts you are going to beg me for a right... classic line from the hairy chested American one

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Chuck Norris once pissed in the gas tank of a truck. That truck is now Optimus Prime

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Chuck Norris doesn't do press ups...he pushes the earth down.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Google where's Chuck Norris?

I love it !! Hehe!!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Chuck Norris once chucked Norris but the Corrie cast caught him...100 miles away.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris once defeated an entire army, by flexing his left bicep

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Chuck Norris is the world's most popular Republican Christian

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

Chuck Norris once skimmed a stone in the ocean from San Francisco Bay.... it landed in japan

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris threw a grenade once, in a film, and killed 50 people.

And then the grenade exploded."

Film based on the true story...it was actually 100 men

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Chuck Norris died of a drug overdose the same day as Whitney Houston.

He got better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck's real name is Doris...he doesn't like it so I'm not going to call him by it

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Chuck Norris is Fab straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck (Doris) Noris is cryponites cryptonite

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By *allyandJonCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Chuck Norris drove his mum home after she gave birth to him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Google where's Chuck Norris?

I love it !! Hehe!!

This is ledge. Hahaha. Never seen this one before.. X

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Google where's Chuck Norris?

I love it !! Hehe!!

This is ledge. Hahaha. Never seen this one before.. X "

Haha! Google knows what’s up!

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Kevlar body armour is based on Chuck Norris' skin..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris is Fab straight. "

this

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Tom Cruise invented pink."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, a horse is hung like Chuck Norris

Mrs. Saturday

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Kevlar body armour is based on Chuck Norris' skin..

Sounds like a fact

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Kevlar body armour is based on Chuck Norris' skin. Fact

FTFY

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

He's fugly though

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard"

Think more like - Chuck Norris could carve his face into Mount Rushmore with his beard.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard

Think more like - Chuck Norris could carve his face into Mount Rushmore with his beard."

Kids read comics about Superman. Superman reads comics about Chuck Norris.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was Chuck Norris that took the mountain to Mohammed.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Seaside Sussex

Chuck Norris can crack a walnut in the blink of an eye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris was on the last episode of Jeremy Kyle and the DNA tests proved he was actually Keith lemons dad

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

"Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

Gold!

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

I like my coffee to kick Chuck Norris' arse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But who is he?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps no one really knows who this is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris is fake. If he was real hes be kicking my ass rihtbfffbxgbsbgdbxrbjybdyongvxdh......chuck norris is real

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can heat sign language

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally lost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris can pick apples from an orange tree, then make the best damn lemonade you ever tasted with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird. "

When the sun was growing up it was told not to stare at chuck norris because it would go blind

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

"But who is he?"

Glad im not the only one

...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But who is he?

Glad im not the only one

...

Ever heard of the program Walker, Texas Ranger... he’s in that

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Lol ... no ...

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird.

When the sun was growing up it was told not to stare at chuck norris because it would go blind"

The sun orbits chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird.

When the sun was growing up it was told not to stare at chuck norris because it would go blind

The sun orbits chuck Norris

The sun only rises because Chuck Norris allows it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Death once had a 'near Chuck Norris encounter'

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Death once had a 'near Chuck Norris encounter' "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the world down

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris uses an active volcano as a sauna.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't play hide and seek. He plays 'hide, and pray I don't find you'

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

Chuck Norris once tossed a caber, apparently now the caber is orbiting the earth

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Chuck Norris uses an active volcano as a sauna."

Pretty sure he baths in lava also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The real reason Hitler committed suicide is because he found out Chuck Norris is Jewish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Qhen Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

Chuck Norris caused the “Big Bang”

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

bristol/cotswolds

Chuck Norris will be in Pacific rim 3, Chuck Norris won’t be using a Jaeger.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris once swam the Atlantic. In a day. Underwater.

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By *onbons_xxMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Chuck Norris was the voiceover to Spongebob Squarepants

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

bristol/cotswolds

An asteroid didn’t kill the dinosaurs! Chuck Norris just farted!

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By *iltsguy200Man
over a year ago

Warminster

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, there were three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, there were three missed calls from Chuck Norris."

When John logie Baird invented the TV it was to watch chuck Norris programmes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Neil Armstrong took the 1st step on the moon. He was greated with a roundhouse kick to the helmet by Chuck Norris. And Chuck said get off my moon bitch !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris tells the sun when to set

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse

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By *ookMan
over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 27/11/17 17:40:34]

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Jesus walked in water.

Chuck Norris swam through land.

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

bristol/cotswolds

They once made a comic book about chuck Norris, nobody was strong enough to open it.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Jesus walked in water.

Chuck Norris swam through land. "

Chuck Norris showed Jesus how to walk on water.

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

bristol/cotswolds

Moses didn’t part the Red Sea, chuck Norris karate chopped it!

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By *oisisbackCouple
over a year ago

exeter

Chuck Norris's shadow can beat your Dad up !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret

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By *oisisbackCouple
over a year ago

exeter

Chuck Norris does his fingernails with a grinder and uses giant redwood tree's for toothpicks !

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By *arksMan
over a year ago

in the centre

Chuck Norris has found a needle in every haystack

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

Chuck Norris once pulled 4 Boeing 747’s with his pinky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris,s role model is Louis Spence x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought Chuck Norris was a Black & Decker Drill

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

bristol/cotswolds

When chuck Norris wants a woman to cum he just clicks his fingers!

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By *itofamouthfullMan
over a year ago

bristol/cotswolds

"Chuck Norris,s role model is Louis Spence x "

Chuck Norris has no role model, armies try to model their tanks on chuck Norris!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

Your search - Chuck Norris - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

Run, before he finds you.

Try a different person.

Try someone less dangerous

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

I met him and his brother a few years ago, nice guys.

Chuck Norris once hosted American's Most Wanted. Every wanted man on the planet turned himself in before the first commercial break.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I met him and his brother a few years ago, nice guys.

Chuck Norris once hosted American's Most Wanted. Every wanted man on the planet turned himself in before the first commercial break."

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

Never seen chuck Norris clean shaven.

There’s not a razor sharp enough.

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By *oisisbackCouple
over a year ago

exeter

"Never seen chuck Norris clean shaven.

There’s not a razor sharp enough."

Chucks beard stops growing when he tells it to stop !!

And he only told it once.

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Never seen chuck Norris clean shaven.

There’s not a razor sharp enough.

Chucks beard stops growing when he tells it to stop !!

And he only told it once. "

There’s no chin underneath Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist!

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By *oisisbackCouple
over a year ago

exeter

"There’s no chin underneath Chuck Norris beard. There is only another fist!"

You saw that on Family Guy !! lol

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I heard Chuck Norris reflection won’t even look him in the eye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars look both ways first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never seen chuck Norris clean shaven.

There’s not a razor sharp enough."

When he does find a razor sharp enough, all the companies in the world that produce iron filings will go bankrupt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund"

I think when he landed he caused a huge creater, just got up and dusted himself off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris has great white sharks in his fishtank !

Mount Everest was one of his poo's !

God calls him Sir !

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By *ookingforlustMan
over a year ago

northants

Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris gets rid of big scary spiders...with his bare hands

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Chuck Norris gets rid of big scary spiders...with his bare hands

Now I'm impressed

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas "

Think superman plays with chuck norris toy figures also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris doesn't join Fab, people want to Chuck Norris.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot

Chuck Norris can hold his breath longer than air.

Chuck Norris once killed 100 enemy soldiers with a twig and the twig did not break.

Chuck Norris tells the sun when to set.

Hercules had 13 labors. His 13th one was fighting Chuck Norris. But because he was beaten up so badly, people only talk about the first 12.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

Chuck Norris cage fights with grizzly bears... As a form of relaxation

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

After the show they hooked the wheel up to power up a nuclear reactor

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver.... and won.

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By *illy_the_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

hoorn, Netherlands

Are we back in 2010?

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra. After five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra. After five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a wire brush.

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By *ornymike_2017Man
over a year ago

Tranmere

The bogeyman checks under his bed for chuck Norris

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

Chuck Norris can impregnate women just by looking at them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck was the 4th Wise men at the birth of Jesus, bringing the gift of Beard, which he kept for life.

The other three wise men were pissed off and got Chuck written out of the nativity.

Ever wondered why we don't hear what happened to the wise men afterwards?

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

Chuck Norris shoots laser beams when he comes.... literally

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

NATO classes Chuck Norris as a weapon of mass distruction.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a wire brush. "

Chuck Norris uses lava as mouthwash

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris is Darth Vader's father

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Chuck Norris is Darth Vader's father

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Chuck Norris and Superman had a fight.

The loser had to wear his pants over his clothes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris. That is all.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris makes Ann Robinson do the Walk of Shame

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By *andom2chatMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain

"Chuck Norris is Fab straight. "

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

Chuck Norris once stampeded a herd of elephants

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Chick Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

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By *amiePhuktMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run round the world and punch himself in the back of the head..

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By *mber GamblerCouple
over a year ago

rugby

Chuck Norris got shot!!!!

The bullets are in a critical condition.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck Norris daughter lost her virginity !!! He got it back for her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What us normal folk think of as parking spaces for disabled people are actually spaces reserved for Chuck Norris, the picture painted on the floor is what will happen to you if you park in one.

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By *ecretBadgerMan
over a year ago

Redruth

"What us normal folk think of as parking spaces for disabled people are actually spaces reserved for Chuck Norris, the picture painted on the floor is what will happen to you if you park in one."

+2239 points for originality

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By *ecretBadgerMan
over a year ago

Redruth

[Removed by poster at 02/12/17 08:34:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What us normal folk think of as parking spaces for disabled people are actually spaces reserved for Chuck Norris, the picture painted on the floor is what will happen to you if you park in one.

+2239 points for originality"

Cheers

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Chuck Norris doesn't dodge bullets.

They dodge him.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"Chuck Norris doesn't dodge bullets.

They dodge him."

Chuck Norris walked through an inferno.

The inferno had to get sent to hospital for 3rd degree burns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris once roundhouse kicked a horse, today they're called Giraffe's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alan Norris (Chucks son) is 15th seed in the PDC World Darts championship and is due to play Kim Viljanen in the first round.

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By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Alan Norris (Chucks son) is 15th seed in the PDC World Darts championship and is due to play Kim Viljanen in the first round."

Alan Norris scored 180 with one dart.

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

Chuck Norris..... need I say more.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

If Chuck Norris fought his doppelgänger, the universe would implode

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By *homasP80Man
over a year ago

Linwood

"If Chuck Norris fought his doppelgänger, the universe would implode

Aye, probably a black hole.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Seaside Sussex

Climatologists are to introduce a new category of hurricane.

Storms above category 5 will all be named Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chuck norris can punch out any north korean missles entering tbe usa

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