FabSwingers.com forum: Does what people think of you change the person you are?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"

Not at all. I know who I am. If someone doesn’t like it stuff then. I’m not changing for anyone. If I’m rude and don’t mean it I’ll apologise but other than that no

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

What people think of me because I'm on this site I really couldn't care about - I know why I'm here, and why I enjoy it - if people want to judge me because of that then that's their problem not mine.

In other respects though, if people have a valid point about something I've said or done, I'll try and take it on board and change if necessary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. Not in the slightest. People have tried to change me in the past, doesn't work. I am who I am and that's all that I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hell no!

I for one couldn't give a flying fuckery what people think of me for the most part.

I know I'm a good person, the people I care about all love me...past that, I don't care what people think, least of all if they think I'm a slag...

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Nope ,makes no difference to me

I'm still me

Mis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am who I am, if people don't like that then it's their problem.

I won't change just to try and get a shag, mutual respect of people goes a long way.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"
im growing as a person all the time, im focusing on my female side and have been for some time. recently i had a load of flashbacks where people have railroaded it and yes i did change, now im unpicking it all, so i can enjoy who i really want to be..people who dont know me i dont care about their opinions, people who know me, love me, so i change because i want to, not because of other people x

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

Not at all say what you want, I am I dick head and always will be. Take me or leave me

hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope. We all have bad days where we portray to the world a temporary picture of who we really are.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Puts on the disco ligthing and belts out Gloria Gaynors

I am what I am!!

Then shakes her disco booty out of the thread

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By *uicy72Woman
over a year ago

North Colchester

I am me love me or hate me !

I do what I want it’s no one else’s business. No one should judge me if they don’t know me , oh but they do !!

Oh well that’s their choice I’m not changing for anyone !

Least of all strangers

I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about being on this site at all

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By *uicy72Woman
over a year ago

North Colchester

"Puts on the disco ligthing and belts out Gloria Gaynors

I am what I am!!

Then shakes her disco booty out of the thread

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"

No as you can't please all the people etc...and if I'm honest I don't really like a lot of people so their opinions don't count for shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all "To thine own self be true,"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can change your own perceptions and ultimately change how you may act?

Let's face it, praising children and encouraging as opposed to pointing out their mistakes, has such a positive outcome, so why wouldn't adults feel down be affected?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As my name says, loved my some, hated by others!

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Nope, as I am too bloody old to change even if I wanted to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I've changed.

As the perception by others, including many men on here, is that I may be a slag for being here, I have less respect for them until they prove me wrong, rather than having respect for others to begin with and losing it as they behave like petulant twats with a fucked up view of the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What someone else thinks of you is none of your business.

I can guarantee that the people calling women on here "Slags" etc are total players themselves. People project their BS all over the place. Just turn your finger back onto them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" It can change your own perceptions and ultimately change how you may act?

Let's face it, praising children and encouraging as opposed to pointing out their mistakes, has such a positive outcome, so why wouldn't adults feel down be affected? "

Because an adult can recognise shady judgemental behaviour (hopefully) but yes, you have a point. Consistent abuse over time can affect your personality greatly.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

It doesn't matter what others think of you really. You might get the odd moments of feeling down due to interactions with other people. But they are fleeting.

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

I am Hoo i am and people can like it or lump it

But people that don't no me and dont try to no me but try to gess well will Onley no wot i let them no. Witch is not a lot

It's mor fun watching them gess and then get proved rong

Onley Friends i no and think i can trust get to no me properly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"

It doesn’t change the person I am. I know my intent, my good points and my flaws — we are all human. I think asking intent is important, and talking with people directly, not about them without them. In answer to your second question, yes — it matters. But I’m not accountable for other’s choices to judge, I’m happy to communicate and learn, but not everyone wants that.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

It only change who you are or think you are if you don't understand your own principle and value. However, if you understand yourself it will be like water on a duck's back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am me! What's the point of pretending, you only get found out anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Buddhist monk goes up to a hot dog seller and pays with a 20£ note,,,after taking a few bites,he asks 'excuse me,but where's my change'

'change comes only from within' comes the reply.

Don't change for other people. If you must change,do it for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never worried about what others think of me. It's what got me where I am today..........might need to rethink that one.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"

Interesting question and very thought provoking.

I wonder if the real person is who "I" think I am or who other people think I am. In some situations it matters who other people think I am, job interviews being the only example I can think of.

In my relationship with A it matters who he thinks I am. In both situation the real me is who other people perceive me to be.

Does it matter who people think I am and what my motives for certain actions are? I can only say that mostly it doesn't but if it's my loved ones it does.

I shall think more about this while I'm hoovering moth larvae out of my carpet...yet again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"

My environment effects the person I am even if I am not conscious of it happening. We are always growing and always changing.

I believe I am a strong person who is secure in myself and happy with my life choices, but I'm certain that I am effected by my surroundings and what those I come into contact with say or do.

That said, I probably dont react or change in the way that some of them would like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only opinion of me that someone has said to my face, is that I am nice. I wouldn't change my behaviour to change their opinion. I'm too lazy to go out of my way to be anything other than what I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to tell people, I did when I first stated, big mistake. I wouldn't say people saying things have changed me, however experiences I've had and being on here has defiantly changed me.

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By *icky_tvLondonTV/TS
over a year ago

london

Pathologically anti-social individuals will display an equally vociferous disregard for the opinions of others as those that are not. To be on the safe side I steer clear of both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am constantly evolving to become a better me, for me.

I can learn from my mistakes and from my successes in life and try to be a better person for it.

I couldn't give a rats arse what people think of me and won't change who I am to suit anyone else.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Pathologically anti-social individuals will display an equally vociferous disregard for the opinions of others as those that are not. To be on the safe side I steer clear of both."

Erm.

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

No it wont change me, but it could.

If someone mentions something like to me, and I at least recognise their id, then I give it a wee think to see if they are right or not.

On places like this it's often just histrionics and you don't need to talk about their comments further. But if its someone you knew a year and they say you're a jerk, have a wee think about it, maybe you are, maybe you can change it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?

Interesting question and very thought provoking.

I wonder if the real person is who "I" think I am or who other people think I am. In some situations it matters who other people think I am, job interviews being the only example I can think of.

In my relationship with A it matters who he thinks I am. In both situation the real me is who other people perceive me to be.

Does it matter who people think I am and what my motives for certain actions are? I can only say that mostly it doesn't but if it's my loved ones it does.

I shall think more about this while I'm hoovering moth larvae out of my carpet...yet again."

That made me think too. I don't really know what people think of me. I think most are fond of me. Or so they tell me when they're pissed - and d*unks don't lie.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nope. We all have bad days where we portray to the world a temporary picture of who we really are."

Very true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm me

And I'm not going to change ....

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"

No. I am confident enough to remain true to myself even if some people don't like what I am or what I do. But I am constantly striving to grow, and I will use all kinds of personal challenges to my own advantage if I can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?

Not at all. I know who I am. If someone doesn’t like it stuff then. I’m not changing for anyone. If I’m rude and don’t mean it I’ll apologise but other than that no"

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Only the ones who are important to me.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm me regardless.

However, other people's thoughts may exaggerate certain aspects of my personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am who i am and i wudnt change because of what some other clown has said. be who you want to be and not whats others expect you to be.

i take people at face value and alwats give the benefit of doubt. if they dont like me for what ever reason, no bother jog on there mucker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not in the slightest, I've been shaving my head since I was about 16, get told I look like an escaped prisoner and all sorts

, but that's just how I am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not in the slightest, I've been shaving my head since I was about 16, get told I look like an escaped prisoner and all sorts

, but that's just how I am

opposite for me , ive had long hair since 16 , i get called x gangster , drug dealer , heavy , etc but im totally the opposite

never judge a book by its cover

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am who I am ... and I know I'm a decent, caring, lovely woman who just happens to like sex and flirting.

Someone on here called me a whore which horrified me and made me laugh in equal measure because they are on here too!!!

I'm alright ... if anyone wants to find out more you know what to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not in the slightest, I've been shaving my head since I was about 16, get told I look like an escaped prisoner and all sorts

, but that's just how I am

opposite for me , ive had long hair since 16 , i get called x gangster , drug dealer , heavy , etc but im totally the opposite

never judge a book by its cover"

Oh I've been called all of those too!

it just makes me laugh if anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I'm just me. People accept me or they don't. They like me or they don't.

I have no control over that and it's never going to change who I am and my personal values.

But it can change the way I may interact with others if I'm aware of their view of me. It might even mean I just don't interact at all with some both here and beyond.

That's more about presentation and the need to interact at a basic human level and we all present differently in varying social situations... sometimes even to the extent of removing ourselves from those who we know are never going to be on the same wavelength as us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah, I'm a grown up

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By *K430Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

Not even remotely, stopped paying attention a long time ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nope. We all have bad days where we portray to the world a temporary picture of who we really are."

That is soo deep and true.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

No. It just makes us stronger and more resolute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years back it would have not anymore.you get one life so live it the way you want to and sod what anyone else thinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. With what your asking, the only thing thatnit might change is my interactions with them. I might try to change their minds about me, I might not.

We should already know what type of person we are at my age without anyone trying to tell us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think i view people differently than others as i have seen and endured the more ugly aspects of human nature.. Violence, brutality and cruelty etc. Which has dtayed with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the positives of getting older is that i personally dont give a flying @@@@ what anyone thinks of me!

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"

My wife and I are very happy with who we are , that’s not to say we think we are perfect and beyond ever changing anything about ourselves .

So in some cases we may consider a reaction from someone else may alter our behaviour , but that would depend on who they were and what we may have done to evoke it .

Regarding being seen as slags , we don’t give a flying fuck . It wouldn’t matter who thought what , we wouldn’t change that .

Regarding how we are bringing up our autistic son , yes we will , and have listened to what experts have said and reaped the benefits , as has our son .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone thinks you're a slag for being on this site... or that you're mean to all old people because you glared at a granny... or that you're up your own arse because you're attractive... etc etc

Does that change the person you are? If they don't know you and don't understand the reason behind your actions/ words, does it matter?"

It only matters if it gets to you. Some people, myself included, have periods of low self confidence, and others opinions do affect me. At other times I'm not bothered and I tell them to go fuck themselves.

Some people are opinionated pricks - they need to take a good look in the mirror before they start shouting their mouths off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be frank (and who doesn't like Frank, lol).

I seriously could not give a toss what people think of me. Which someone people find hard to believe.

When my children where at school, all the bullshit of the posh mums in the playground completely went over my head. I wasn't there to make friends as I just didn't have the time but was there to get my children educated. I did make some really good lifelong friends but......it wasn't my main motivation.

I'm out and about in the fet world, going to a fet club tonight (it's not advertised on here), I'm private because of the milkmaid tag but once people know some try to make comments etc, I shut down that crap real fast.

My children have known for years, since their teens that I'm on the fet scene,(I used to get dressed at home for TG, so they saw me in corsets and micro skirts and I told them where I was going!) they don't judge and theirs is the ONLY opinion that matters to me.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think it does generally change our self perception , though not our core identity, as we are social animals. Our known and guessed opinions of us that others hold have huge power, even if they may seemingly cause us to shrug and think it doesn't.

At one level it may result in us reinforcing our self-identity even more - a little like those trees on exposed positions that consolidate their strength and stands.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think it does generally change our self perception , though not our core identity, as we are social animals. Our known and guessed opinions of us that others hold have huge power, even if they may seemingly cause us to shrug and think it doesn't.

At one level it may result in us reinforcing our self-identity even more - a little like those trees on exposed positions that consolidate their strength and stands. "

I love the tree analogy.

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