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Do you like lurkers?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lurkers- people that read the forums but pm their answer to your post. Does that annoy you?

It can be lonely on the outside of the forum. People can't get meet veri's because no-one will meet them. And maybe they don't want to get photo verified.. ..So they can't post. They're still human though.

What do you think of lurkers?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

No they generally don't annoy me, some people don't have the confidence to post publicly.

The ones that make me chuckle are the ones who are openly flirting with someone in a thread, then PM you directly rather than reply on the thread so as not to piss off the one they're flirting with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No they generally don't annoy me, some people don't have the confidence to post publicly.

The ones that make me chuckle are the ones who are openly flirting with someone in a thread, then PM you directly rather than reply on the thread so as not to piss off the one they're flirting with

"

This makes me chuckle too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only time I get PM's is when I've disagreed with someone.

I usually get a PM telling me they also disagree. Why they can't say it in the thread I'll never know.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

This happens frequently for me. I think it's probably because most of my posts are complete bullshit that they need to clarify if I'm being serious.

It's all good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This happens frequently for me. I think it's probably because most of my posts are complete bullshit that they need to clarify if I'm being serious.

It's all good. "

You do serious?

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By *a Fee VerteWoman
over a year ago

Limbo


"No they generally don't annoy me, some people don't have the confidence to post publicly.

The ones that make me chuckle are the ones who are openly flirting with someone in a thread, then PM you directly rather than reply on the thread so as not to piss off the one they're flirting with

This makes me chuckle too! "

I rarely venture onto flirting type threads (because I'm crap at it) but on the rare occasion I do, it's ummm ... 'bemusing' when you get PMs from the kind of person you describe. I've never thought before that they might not want to piss off the person(s) they're openly flirting with .... more that *I'm* not the sort of person they wish to be publically 'associated' with

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden


"This happens frequently for me. I think it's probably because most of my posts are complete bullshit that they need to clarify if I'm being serious.

It's all good.

You do serious? "

Can you please reply privately with your questions. Thanks. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't annoy me, provided the message is worthwhile and relevant.

I'm still seeing a guy who PM'd me from a forum post months ago.

All good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No they generally don't annoy me, some people don't have the confidence to post publicly.

The ones that make me chuckle are the ones who are openly flirting with someone in a thread, then PM you directly rather than reply on the thread so as not to piss off the one they're flirting with

"

Can't say I've experienced that personally but I can see the amusement in it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No they generally don't annoy me, some people don't have the confidence to post publicly.

The ones that make me chuckle are the ones who are openly flirting with someone in a thread, then PM you directly rather than reply on the thread so as not to piss off the one they're flirting with

Can't say I've experienced that personally but I can see the amusement in it. "

Happens a lot...also get the women they're openly flirting with message too...years ago was warned off a fellow forumite by his fuck buddy

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish


"Lurkers- people that read the forums but pm their answer to your post. Does that annoy you?

It can be lonely on the outside of the forum. People can't get meet veri's because no-one will meet them. And maybe they don't want to get photo verified.. ..So they can't post. They're still human though.

What do you think of lurkers?"
I must admit I'm guilty of this sometimes.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

As long as they tell me why they made contact, then no it doesn't really bother me

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By *xtrafun4youMan
over a year ago

Dunstable

I guilty of this sorry

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish

I don't think anyone should be warning anyone off chatting to a lady or guy.

Some right up their own arse sorts about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had some nice messages from lurkers. They don't bother me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think anyone should be warning anyone off chatting to a lady or guy.

Some right up their own arse sorts about."

Oh it happens...just a putty for her that by that time I'd already snagged him

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

I have had a lot of pms regarding some of my forum wars. One person said something to me that they thought if they posted publicly would cause a kick off and they would rather not happen. I agreed with what they said and that it would cause a ruckus. Totally understand why people choose to pm rather than post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lurkers- people that read the forums but pm their answer to your post. Does that annoy you?

It can be lonely on the outside of the forum. People can't get meet veri's because no-one will meet them. And maybe they don't want to get photo verified.. ..So they can't post. They're still human though.

What do you think of lurkers?"

Are you unallowed to post if you’ve not been photo verified? I never knew.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"

Are you unallowed to post if you’ve not been photo verified? I never knew. "

You’re not allowed to write any messages with FAF in it so understandably that limits them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Are you unallowed to post if you’ve not been photo verified? I never knew.

You’re not allowed to write any messages with FAF in it so understandably that limits them "

Ha! I see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a fair number of paedo-lover and hope your children get abused PMs from lurkers last night. That was cheery.

But I think they were less keen to say that in the forum thread.

That’s not lurking behaviour I’m partial to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a fair number of paedo-lover and hope your children get abused PMs from lurkers last night. That was cheery.

But I think they were less keen to say that in the forum thread.

That’s not lurking behaviour I’m partial to."

People never cease to amaze me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a fair number of paedo-lover and hope your children get abused PMs from lurkers last night. That was cheery.

But I think they were less keen to say that in the forum thread.

That’s not lurking behaviour I’m partial to.

People never cease to amaze me! "

It was upsetting, much like the lurker profile that tried to tell me someone had died. And then gave me abuse because I said I wasn’t going to post a forum thread to say so when this was not something I had verified - and then gave me abuse for not honouring their memory. But I’m pretty sure it was someone with a vendetta trying to stir.

Yes, there are some interesting PMs around here.

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By *andom2chatMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain

I often use the “Reply Privately” if it’s relevant to the thread but I don’t want to fill the thread up, particularly if it’s information I don’t want everyone to know about or it’s personal/specific to one person. It saves wandering off topic, filling the thread with something more conversational, or I want to touch base with someone.

So I don’t consider PM’s as lurking. I think someone visiting my profile numerous times without PMing is more lurking & can be a little more concerning than direct contact.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"I had a fair number of paedo-lover and hope your children get abused PMs from lurkers last night. That was cheery.

But I think they were less keen to say that in the forum thread.

That’s not lurking behaviour I’m partial to."

I saw a few pretty much call you that in the thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind being personal messaged by murders XXX

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"I often use the “Reply Privately” if it’s relevant to the thread but I don’t want to fill the thread up, particularly if it’s information I don’t want everyone to know about or it’s personal/specific to one person. It saves wandering off topic, filling the thread with something more conversational, or I want to touch base with someone.

So I don’t consider PM’s as lurking. I think someone visiting my profile numerous times without PMing is more lurking & can be a little more concerning than direct contact. "

I have kind of done that. There was a thread about profiles recently. I had commented on the post nicely. Someone called me a brown nose. I hope it was meant jokingly but it made me feel shitty. So i pmed others my thoughts instead.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"I don't mind being personal messaged by murders XXX"

Erm typo i hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a fair number of paedo-lover and hope your children get abused PMs from lurkers last night. That was cheery.

But I think they were less keen to say that in the forum thread.

That’s not lurking behaviour I’m partial to.

I saw a few pretty much call you that in the thread!"

And I’m sorry I was spiky with you immediately after. I think I was expecting everyone to be attacking, and I was really just trying to say that I’d thought the commentary on the other thread had been a bit (maybe unintentionally) mean spirited when someone had t enjoyed the joke — I never meant that I thought the joke’s author would force a woman, I just felt bad for the poster who had been jumped on for expressing a different opinion (because I just had too). Oh dear — it’s hard to communicate cleanly sometimes as we are all carrying our own experiences around, that others are unaware of.

So Pieman, I’m sorry for snapping at you. Have a lovely day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To get back on track, I hate lurkers. Yes you, sitting there, quietly reading everyone else's opinion while being too scared to post your own thoughts, you sicken me.

Not really, that's just aimed at someone who told me she stalks my forum posts without commenting

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

It's fair enough it the nature of the comment 'needs' to be a PM. But sometimes they are just comments that should be a post. I say, man up and post, don't just whisper it to one person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the whole they don't bother me (mrs) although last week I commented on a post about being cheated on. A few days on someone messaged us wanting to discuss how it made me (mrs) feel. Mr read the message he doesn't go on the forums and told the guy we didn't want to discuss it. He got more verbal so we blocked him and set up filters. I thought it was a little out of hand and rude but such is life.

Mrs

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By *andom2chatMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain


"I have kind of done that. There was a thread about profiles recently. I had commented on the post nicely. Someone called me a brown nose. I hope it was meant jokingly but it made me feel shitty. So i pmed others my thoughts instead."

That’s the problem if you don’t know the person & they resort to name calling.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"I had a fair number of paedo-lover and hope your children get abused PMs from lurkers last night. That was cheery.

But I think they were less keen to say that in the forum thread.

That’s not lurking behaviour I’m partial to.

I saw a few pretty much call you that in the thread!

And I’m sorry I was spiky with you immediately after. I think I was expecting everyone to be attacking, and I was really just trying to say that I’d thought the commentary on the other thread had been a bit (maybe unintentionally) mean spirited when someone had t enjoyed the joke — I never meant that I thought the joke’s author would force a woman, I just felt bad for the poster who had been jumped on for expressing a different opinion (because I just had too). Oh dear — it’s hard to communicate cleanly sometimes as we are all carrying our own experiences around, that others are unaware of.

So Pieman, I’m sorry for snapping at you. Have a lovely day. "

That means a lot. I say that with no sarcasm or malice.

Have a lovely day too.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

It depends on what the lurkers want to say really. Much like any pm. I can understand why some people don't necessarily want to post on the forum what they really think (nearly all of my lurker messages have been from those who are verified) but I think it can be a bit shitty at times.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"

What do you think of lurkers?"

PM'd you.

.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"I have kind of done that. There was a thread about profiles recently. I had commented on the post nicely. Someone called me a brown nose. I hope it was meant jokingly but it made me feel shitty. So i pmed others my thoughts instead.

That’s the problem if you don’t know the person & they resort to name calling. "

Yes exactly. Perhaps I took what they said to heart too easily as well. We all have our off days.

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By *andom2chatMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain


"Yes exactly. Perhaps I took what they said to heart too easily as well. We all have our off days."

That’s the problem with the written word, texts, & Social Media posts. It can be interpreted by the reader dependent on THEIR mood, not YOUR mood. You could be having a great day & be in the best of moods, whilst the reader may be having a bad day & in an off mood. There’s no body language to help you interpret the true meaning as there is in face to face discussions.

That’s one of the many reasons to think twice before posting things online. That said, sometimes further discussion can resolve matters a little time after the fact, & there can be a happy ending. It just takes effort to understand it from another’s viewpoint when the mood has changed.

I’m glad it’s worked out well in the end.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"Yes exactly. Perhaps I took what they said to heart too easily as well. We all have our off days.

That’s the problem with the written word, texts, & Social Media posts. It can be interpreted by the reader dependent on THEIR mood, not YOUR mood. You could be having a great day & be in the best of moods, whilst the reader may be having a bad day & in an off mood. There’s no body language to help you interpret the true meaning as there is in face to face discussions.

That’s one of the many reasons to think twice before posting things online. That said, sometimes further discussion can resolve matters a little time after the fact, & there can be a happy ending. It just takes effort to understand it from another’s viewpoint when the mood has changed.

I’m glad it’s worked out well in the end. "

Wise words.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lurkers- people that read the forums but pm their answer to your post. Does that annoy you?

It can be lonely on the outside of the forum. People can't get meet veri's because no-one will meet them. And maybe they don't want to get photo verified.. ..So they can't post. They're still human though.

What do you think of lurkers?

Are you unallowed to post if you’ve not been photo verified? I never knew. "

You can't post without some kind of veri- either meet or photo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been known to lurk on the odd occasion then send someone a message

Also had messages off people asking about something ive posted ... not to fussed, thats life

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yes exactly. Perhaps I took what they said to heart too easily as well. We all have our off days.

That’s the problem with the written word, texts, & Social Media posts. It can be interpreted by the reader dependent on THEIR mood, not YOUR mood. You could be having a great day & be in the best of moods, whilst the reader may be having a bad day & in an off mood. There’s no body language to help you interpret the true meaning as there is in face to face discussions.

That’s one of the many reasons to think twice before posting things online. That said, sometimes further discussion can resolve matters a little time after the fact, & there can be a happy ending. It just takes effort to understand it from another’s viewpoint when the mood has changed.

I’m glad it’s worked out well in the end. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lurkers- people that read the forums but pm their answer to your post. Does that annoy you?

It can be lonely on the outside of the forum. People can't get meet veri's because no-one will meet them. And maybe they don't want to get photo verified.. ..So they can't post. They're still human though.

What do you think of lurkers?

Are you unallowed to post if you’ve not been photo verified? I never knew.

You can't post without some kind of veri- either meet or photo. "

It actually probably explains to me who the bullying messages are from then, as it’s far more likely to be someone who can’t verify as it’s a second account that they have...

Interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never write about wanting to sleep with Santa, I had lots of messages about that from lurkers

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton


"Never write about wanting to sleep with Santa, I had lots of messages about that from lurkers "

They misread 'Santa' and thought you were a proper horny little Devil.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Nice messages from decent guys are fine.

What bugs me is the guys who think because you posted on a thread of their's it's ok to message you and not leave you alone

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I am friends with a few "lurkers", they are really nice, quite normal (except one who has a frog obsession and must be insane) and really funny and chatty.

They just choose not to post on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I lurk because a thread takes a nasty turn and I don't want to be part of it, but may pm someone who has raised a valid point and just want to say I agree with their reasoning.

Other times I just read and lurk because my comments (if I had posted)will be glossed over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmm It never used to bother me. Although I think it bugs Marc because he doesn't participate in the forums at all and he does a lot of our message admin....so he hates guessing who is messaging from the forums and who is just messaging to meet.

More recently it bugs me a bit because I've gotten rather laissez-faire about the forums. I never liked it during FPF, though, because I always felt that people messaging me for a face pic should open themselves up to such messaging by being on the thread as well rather than being a free rider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get annoyed but I have had people pm me after I write something on a thread. If it's someone I haven't spoken to previously, or seen on the forums I ask them to reply there and not in private. I'm not one for lengthy conversations via pm.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lurkers- people that read the forums but pm their answer to your post. Does that annoy you?

It can be lonely on the outside of the forum. People can't get meet veri's because no-one will meet them. And maybe they don't want to get photo verified.. ..So they can't post. They're still human though.

What do you think of lurkers?

Are you unallowed to post if you’ve not been photo verified? I never knew.

You can't post without some kind of veri- either meet or photo.

It actually probably explains to me who the bullying messages are from then, as it’s far more likely to be someone who can’t verify as it’s a second account that they have...

Interesting."

The abusive message I got the other week was a hidden profile that was then UNLOS a few minutes later. I assumed it was a second profile made for abusive reasons.

Hope you report them. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hmmmm It never used to bother me. Although I think it bugs Marc because he doesn't participate in the forums at all and he does a lot of our message admin....so he hates guessing who is messaging from the forums and who is just messaging to meet.

More recently it bugs me a bit because I've gotten rather laissez-faire about the forums. I never liked it during FPF, though, because I always felt that people messaging me for a face pic should open themselves up to such messaging by being on the thread as well rather than being a free rider "

I decided to only show my face to people I saw on the forums. I usually only show my face to men I'm interested in meeting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nice messages from decent guys are fine.

What bugs me is the guys who think because you posted on a thread of their's it's ok to message you and not leave you alone "

I'm more careful about the type of threads I post on after getting mail begging for pegging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only a very small percentage post on the forums. That is their choice. Others may wish to read and not post but they are still entitled to use all the facilities of fab.

There is a tendency here of posting complaining thread after complaining thread any one reading this thread and seeing others consider them lurkers is far less likely to become a forum member if all the see is constant negativity.

I post both pm and openly on the thread for a variety of reasons. If I pm someone am I one of the lurkers?

If we want the forums to be welcoming to others and to replace the unlos etc then lurking may even be a way of those potential forum members eventually deciding to fully participate here as their confidence grows and they understand the dynamics of the forums...

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish


"I don't think anyone should be warning anyone off chatting to a lady or guy.

Some right up their own arse sorts about.

Oh it happens...just a putty for her that by that time I'd already snagged him "

You can snag me anytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lurkers- people that read the forums but pm their answer to your post. Does that annoy you?

It can be lonely on the outside of the forum. People can't get meet veri's because no-one will meet them. And maybe they don't want to get photo verified.. ..So they can't post. They're still human though.

What do you think of lurkers?

Are you unallowed to post if you’ve not been photo verified? I never knew.

You can't post without some kind of veri- either meet or photo.

It actually probably explains to me who the bullying messages are from then, as it’s far more likely to be someone who can’t verify as it’s a second account that they have...

Interesting.

The abusive message I got the other week was a hidden profile that was then UNLOS a few minutes later. I assumed it was a second profile made for abusive reasons.

Hope you report them. x "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life is far too short to be annoyed,so no defo not bother me....

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish


"Nice messages from decent guys are fine.

What bugs me is the guys who think because you posted on a thread of their's it's ok to message you and not leave you alone

I'm more careful about the type of threads I post on after getting mail begging for pegging. "
this weather begging for thermal leggings would be better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never write about wanting to sleep with Santa, I had lots of messages about that from lurkers

They misread 'Santa' and thought you were a proper horny little Devil. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Only a very small percentage post on the forums. That is their choice. Others may wish to read and not post but they are still entitled to use all the facilities of fab.

There is a tendency here of posting complaining thread after complaining thread any one reading this thread and seeing others consider them lurkers is far less likely to become a forum member if all the see is constant negativity.

I post both pm and openly on the thread for a variety of reasons. If I pm someone am I one of the lurkers?

If we want the forums to be welcoming to others and to replace the unlos etc then lurking may even be a way of those potential forum members eventually deciding to fully participate here as their confidence grows and they understand the dynamics of the forums...

"

Perhaps I should have used the term 'non-posters'? I'm not being negative about them and certainly not complaining. It's just a question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only a very small percentage post on the forums. That is their choice. Others may wish to read and not post but they are still entitled to use all the facilities of fab.

There is a tendency here of posting complaining thread after complaining thread any one reading this thread and seeing others consider them lurkers is far less likely to become a forum member if all the see is constant negativity.

I post both pm and openly on the thread for a variety of reasons. If I pm someone am I one of the lurkers?

If we want the forums to be welcoming to others and to replace the unlos etc then lurking may even be a way of those potential forum members eventually deciding to fully participate here as their confidence grows and they understand the dynamics of the forums...

Perhaps I should have used the term 'non-posters'? I'm not being negative about them and certainly not complaining. It's just a question. "

Hi OP...

It wasn't a critism of you or the question but across the forums recently a lot of members have all been saying there is something missing ranging from the unlos the repetitive threads and the general bitchiness that we all participate in just by being here.

I just wonder if some of those lurkers are being out off joining in by thresfs describing them as lurkers and some of the other negativity we display?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only a very small percentage post on the forums. That is their choice. Others may wish to read and not post but they are still entitled to use all the facilities of fab.

There is a tendency here of posting complaining thread after complaining thread any one reading this thread and seeing others consider them lurkers is far less likely to become a forum member if all the see is constant negativity.

I post both pm and openly on the thread for a variety of reasons. If I pm someone am I one of the lurkers?

If we want the forums to be welcoming to others and to replace the unlos etc then lurking may even be a way of those potential forum members eventually deciding to fully participate here as their confidence grows and they understand the dynamics of the forums...

Perhaps I should have used the term 'non-posters'? I'm not being negative about them and certainly not complaining. It's just a question.

Hi OP...

It wasn't a critism of you or the question but across the forums recently a lot of members have all been saying there is something missing ranging from the unlos the repetitive threads and the general bitchiness that we all participate in just by being here.

I just wonder if some of those lurkers are being out off joining in by thresfs describing them as lurkers and some of the other negativity we display?

"

If someone who doesn't post on the forums wants to message for a chat, I'll happily engage. But not if it's about something we are discussing on a thread or something sexual. I don't engage in sex talk on here.

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"Hmmmm It never used to bother me. Although I think it bugs Marc because he doesn't participate in the forums at all and he does a lot of our message admin....so he hates guessing who is messaging from the forums and who is just messaging to meet.

More recently it bugs me a bit because I've gotten rather laissez-faire about the forums. I never liked it during FPF, though, because I always felt that people messaging me for a face pic should open themselves up to such messaging by being on the thread as well rather than being a free rider "

Re fpf. The thread always has the no lurker disclaimer. Bloody rude that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Only a very small percentage post on the forums. That is their choice. Others may wish to read and not post but they are still entitled to use all the facilities of fab.

There is a tendency here of posting complaining thread after complaining thread any one reading this thread and seeing others consider them lurkers is far less likely to become a forum member if all the see is constant negativity.

I post both pm and openly on the thread for a variety of reasons. If I pm someone am I one of the lurkers?

If we want the forums to be welcoming to others and to replace the unlos etc then lurking may even be a way of those potential forum members eventually deciding to fully participate here as their confidence grows and they understand the dynamics of the forums...

Perhaps I should have used the term 'non-posters'? I'm not being negative about them and certainly not complaining. It's just a question.

Hi OP...

It wasn't a critism of you or the question but across the forums recently a lot of members have all been saying there is something missing ranging from the unlos the repetitive threads and the general bitchiness that we all participate in just by being here.

I just wonder if some of those lurkers are being out off joining in by thresfs describing them as lurkers and some of the other negativity we display?

"

You make a good point, I apologise if I offended anyone. I remember what it was like when I was a lurker and then first posted. It was shit, I got jumped on for saying something stupid and it put me off posting for ages.

I don't post on most threads that go that certain way. Unless it's some poor newbie getting roasted, then I sometimes try to post some support for them.

The forums are actually pretty nice. Facebook posts can be horrendous.

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