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Am i being used?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I need some advice although i think i know the answer.

Ill keep a long story short, talking to someone for a couple weeks we click and decide to meet up for a social, set a date and time and the night before they cancel because they have been asked on a actual date, fair enough i dont mind that i see their prediciment! So we forget the social then monday night ( the night we should of met) they message me with opologises and regret i have to ask what happened with the date to ne told he had a dose of karma and thats it so im guessing his date cancelled on him me being me i like to help so offer my ear to talk to but somehow we quickly get to him wanting another shot at a social with me but heres where my problem is, he wants to meet tomorrow (thurs) asked me to keep my night clear but he says he isnt sure he can meet me yet as feels ashamed he let me down and can he give me a definated yes to tomorrow tonight! Im starting to feel used by this guy and sort of like im a second choice like if he cant find a better meet ill do if that makes sense!

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

It's only a social unless you decide otherwise.

Go for that drink and get a better idea of what that other person is like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, sounds like he's keeping his options open.

If he cancelled the first meet and was genuinely remorseful he would be making sure the meet was definitely going ahead and he was worth the second chance.

It's a hard one cos when you like them you want to meet them and it can feel like you're punishing yourself by sacking the whole thing off but sometimes you just have to otherwise people will think you're a pushover.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a fantasist to me

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

I agree with Miss Wilkes ... it sounds like he’s keeping his options open.

Personally I would tell him to forget it but I understand why you might be tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If a person cancels on us once for reasons similar to those you mention we won't meet them again. It's up to you if you choose to meet this person but experience has shown us that in the world of nsa sex you need to approach with a cynical attitude.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and you can only be used if you allow it.

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By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

sheffield

I hate been sloppy seconds so for me one cancel and your out. If I’m willing to make an effort so should second party. But up to you at end of the day. But it def sounds like a power game to me xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Im wondering if he thinks his 'date' will still happen and he is leaving it open in case! Im kind of leaning toward droppin it all as for me i do jst want the nsa stuff no hassle or baggage and im feeling he has alot of this lol but im a soft lad i hate to let ppl down and like to be there for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/11/17 10:17:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone's making you feel like that, would you really want them in your life in any way? This is meant to be fun after all.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If someone's making you feel like that, would you really want them in your life in any way? This is meant to be fun after all.x"

No your right its makin me feel sick to my stomach and i havent got alot of confidence anyways and i havent even met the guy yet

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Im wondering if he thinks his 'date' will still happen and he is leaving it open in case! Im kind of leaning toward droppin it all as for me i do jst want the nsa stuff no hassle or baggage and im feeling he has alot of this lol but im a soft lad i hate to let ppl down and like to be there for them"

You're making yourself vulnerable. People on fab will pick you up and put you down at will, if you allow this to happen you'll eventually get hurt.

It's one thing to be understanding and kind but quite another to let yourself be trodden on.

I would advise you to agree to a second meeting on the understanding that if he cancels there isn't a third chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone cancelled me or us because they wanted to meet someone else then that is not an acceptable reason for cancelling in our book. Its irrelevant that it’s a vanilla date. So know I don’t think we would reschedule. In addition to that this guy is still dilly dallying about whether he will meet you again. Our view would be to either get it in the diary and stick to it, or forget it.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/11/17 10:21:49]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanku all im needing to hear this!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So i just cancelled on him, before he gave me his answer! I just explained that id be here for a friendly chat whenever but we wont be able to make any arrangement to meet again and im walkin away....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So i just cancelled on him, before he gave me his answer! I just explained that id be here for a friendly chat whenever but we wont be able to make any arrangement to meet again and im walkin away...."

It can be very satisfying to walk away with your head held high.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would always give someone a second chance if their excuse seemed reasonable.

But cancelling because someone 'better' came along or they got cold feet, chances are they would do it again.

I think you made the right decision, op.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

If he cant commit op ,i'd say no thanks.

Wouldn't like being a back up or 2nd choice meet.

Miss

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I think you done the right thing. Being someone's plan b makes you feel shit. No one deserves that.

You sound like a really nice guy OP, don't let people take advantage of you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you done the right thing. Being someone's plan b makes you feel shit. No one deserves that.

You sound like a really nice guy OP, don't let people take advantage of you "

Youve made my day thankyou

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere


"I think you done the right thing. Being someone's plan b makes you feel shit. No one deserves that.

You sound like a really nice guy OP, don't let people take advantage of you

Youve made my day thankyou "

That's nice, I'm pleased about that

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