FabSwingers.com forum: Things to never say on a first date.

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

How much does your mother weigh?

I want to know what I’m getting into.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

You know the pictures in your profile.

Why aren’t they of you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How come you’re single?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Is there a history of insanity in your family? Or are you the first?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your sister was better looking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you marry me XXX

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"How much does your mother weigh?

I want to know what I’m getting into. "
i now how much your mother weights ... damn near suffocated me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How much does your mother weigh?

I want to know what I’m getting into. i now how much your mother weights ... damn near suffocated me. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"You know the pictures in your profile.

Why aren’t they of you

Haha! Yep.

Also why the hell do some people only ever take photos with their phone right up in the air at a silly angle. What’s that about?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omesWoman
over a year ago

Surrey

I'm a seasoned swinger with the occasional interest in BDSM -

specifically chains, wax and flogging.... They tend to turn and run hahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Would you like to go halves on a bastard?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"I'm a seasoned swinger with the occasional interest in BDSM -

specifically chains, wax and flogging.... They tend to turn and run hahaha

Chain em up. No escape

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *DONToBEoNOSEYoMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Fuck sake get me a beer!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omesWoman
over a year ago

Surrey

"I'm a seasoned swinger with the occasional interest in BDSM -

specifically chains, wax and flogging.... They tend to turn and run hahaha

Chain em up. No escape

Good plan for next time!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"How come you’re single?

Because I’m a sexual deviant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Will you marry me XXX"

You beat me to it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustafasinghMan
over a year ago

leicester

I went china to eat a dog, it's quite nice...

(I haven't actually btw)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a fuck?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lderukmale2005Man
over a year ago

basingstoke

You call that 6 inches?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look different when you're awake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

"You know the pictures in your profile.

Why aren’t they of you

Haha! Yep.

Also why the hell do some people only ever take photos with their phone right up in the air at a silly angle. What’s that about?"

To hide the double chin.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you lend me some money

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rash_pandaMan
over a year ago

Dublin

When can you do my washing... I'm running out of socks!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you lend me a tenner !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on day release from Broadmoor

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just remind me, you're......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you found Jesus?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you lend me a tenner !"

That happened to me at the end of a meet once. He had no money to get home... apparently!

he was young!

That was it for me meeting under 25s

Tbf he did buy me drinks at the pub before

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So like he TOTALLY like you know and I like was all as if and he was all like my dad about sleeping with his best friend after I spent all his money.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like my mum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lorena Bobbit is just misunderstood.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The voices in my head are screaming at me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you lend me a tenner !

That happened to me at the end of a meet once. He had no money to get home... apparently!

he was young!

That was it for me meeting under 25s

Tbf he did buy me drinks at the pub before

I had to lend one meet my bicycle lights as she had to get back from Malvern to Gloucester at 3.00am so her uncle didn’t know she had been out all night!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you lend me a tenner !

That happened to me at the end of a meet once. He had no money to get home... apparently!

he was young!

That was it for me meeting under 25s

Tbf he did buy me drinks at the pub before

I had to lend one meet my bicycle lights as she had to get back from Malvern to Gloucester at 3.00am so her uncle didn’t know she had been out all night!

Wow!

she cycled to meet you and back again! You must have super D!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just realised that might not make sense.

1. She was on her bicycle...which I’d picked up with her in Newent.

2. It wasn’t actually our first meet! (Or our last....I did get my lights back!)

3. She got from Malvern to Gloucester in an hour on a bicycle! She was mad fit!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You look like my mum

A guy got our front door and as the wife opened it he said you remind me of my nan and walked away ! lol

Funny bit was he messaged her from a different profile about 6 months later obviously thinking she wouldn't remember (women remember everything)and she mailed him back saying he reminded her of her great granddad so didn't want to meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here...smell this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that puss coming from the end ?

Guy... shame about the Titanic sinking !

Woman... Whys that ?

Guy... Its on that bit of newspaper stuck to your ass.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omeo66Man
over a year ago

Is your friend in your profile picture single ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago

Buckley North Wales

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

My former cell mate told me all about you.

Well if you insist on paying I'll have the Lobster with truffles and the champaigne.

My mummy told me I should ask you out and I always do what mummy says.

Don't be silly of course these arent my real teath.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Remind me of your name...

Let's go for a walk along the canal...

I'd love to tie you up...

I forgot my wallet...

Your sister said...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evensnipeMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

In a bit misunderstood like mY famous brother.... Hannibal Lecter!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love you".

I was told that after 1 week. I ran for the hills!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tumpy1Man
over a year ago

cookoo

Keep the pillow over your mouth you're breath stinks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You looked so good on the train last Wednesday. And at Tesco on Friday. And at the gym on Saturday and.........

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mine now just put this cuff on x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You looked so good on the train last Wednesday. And at Tesco on Friday. And at the gym on Saturday and........."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘How plain are you without all the makeup?’

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your below 7 inches just pay for the meal and go and never contact me again x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onforming_deviantWoman
over a year ago

Hull

"Would you like to go halves on a bastard?"

Genius

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Divulge too much information.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *evensnipeMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

Oophs. Hello mother!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pull my finger.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Sorry I'm waiting for somebody way more attractive than you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're so cute when you're sleeping!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would you mind bending over right now? (although some may not object perhaps!)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a vanilla date last night. She spent the whole night talking about her exes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not a date.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"You call that 6 inches?"

*Fab inches...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does this cloth smell like to you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

It's years since I was on a vanilla date........

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Get in the van!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so glad you turned up. I think mummy is going to like you, (open a wooden box) "Do you like her, mummy?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Do you cum here often

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How come you’re single?

Because I’m a sexual deviant.

Of course this may be a valid reason

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You call that 6 inches?

*Fab inches...

dying!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like Anal?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anal?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife died last month

That happened to me on the last date I went on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello there, lovely to meet you, I'd like to introduce you to my Mum, she's right here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

[Removed by poster at 22/11/17 18:15:08]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Is that the "Scent of Desperation" that you are wearing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does your sister fancy a 3sum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do u like my sweater i got you a matching one we could be twins

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unshine05Man
over a year ago

Sherborne

Your alot bigger then you look through the telescope

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knit floral sweaters for Pugs in my spare time and have an extensive anorak collection.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I knit floral sweaters for Pugs in my spare time and have an extensive anorak collection. "

Ooh do one for my terrier please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

Hampshire

Guy - So umm... Could you hook me up with your mum. Just seen her pic on your phone. She looks TASTY!

Lady - Cheque please!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Now your my girlfriend...’ true story it happened

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Oh Hiya Sis

Fancy meeting you here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flower person:

“Flower for the lady sir? “

Me:

“FUCK OFF”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to come home with me and meet my mom. If she approves of you we can see each other again. True story x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your sister said you'd be up for anything

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

If the Old Bill Ask After me, just say we were together ALL night

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

...so you're a member of the Kennel Club? How amazing...I like dogging, too!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you work in a bank well I'd like to give you a small deposit!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my friend said this was a blind date i didn't realize he meant you were blind

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who’s that woman in that picture with you?

YOUR MUM

Holy shit I might be your dad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t it bad what’s happened to that Harvey Weinstein?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Pull my finger

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to get together again?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a dating site I once said:

"You'd look good in my cage."

Expecting a reply any day now...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *K430Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

Impressive tache

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you shave your legs? How about higher up?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Merton

"How come you’re single?

I think that is a fair question, I've been asked that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You'll be fine , I've left you with one kidney - I can't believe you're such a heavy sleeper.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn’t I see you at the last parents evening?

ps. I came very close to this scenario!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thank you for a wonderful evening I'll move my stuff in in the morning"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hiya John oops sorry Paul

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's Johnny!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's Johnny!"

I miss J0hnny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"On a dating site I once said:

"You'd look good in my cage."

Expecting a reply any day now...

Hahaha! Fuck it. I’ll get in your cage.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you like caravans and banjo music...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I wish I could've fucked you when you were younger....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bandAbCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire.

You would look good tied to our bed in the morning.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a history of insanity in your family? Or are you the first?"

Wish I’d asked that question back in June......would have saved a whole heap of shit man....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

What's your name again? After calling them by the wrong one

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your alot bigger then you look through the telescope"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

You're pretty...you'll fit in perfectly with the rest of them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please spit in my mouth

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you will let me treat you to anything you desire, once we arrive at the car boot sale

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

No, it's my treat I'll get dinner.

Do you want fries with your Burger?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icky_tvLondonTV/TS
over a year ago

london

_dam1971 said:

Is there a history of insanity in your family? Or are you the first?"

How about referring said date back to forum posts they've made that expose them as crass?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

It rubs the lotion on its skin otherwise it gets the hose again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bandjam91Couple
over a year ago

London

Show me your pink bits

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit, I forgot my Rohypnol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Want to join me on a walk in the woods? My shovel needs some exercise.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Do you like the Teletubbies?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olly_AmberTV/TS
over a year ago

Live Sussex, Work London

Where did you get that dress?

I have a similar one or can it try it on later

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I have the perfect wedding dress for you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What size penis

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tep121Man
over a year ago

manchester

Awww crap! I left my wallet in my other pants.. you ok for it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amiePhuktMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Wow i have always wanted a Rolex !! ,, and an Omega ..... and a Tag Heur ... and gold bracelet.... RIGHT wait a fucking minute here !!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd give it at least 5 mins if i were you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not a date ....this is just a tribute

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not a date ....this is just a tribute

Haha bravo, now please take a bow.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not a date ....this is just a tribute

Haha bravo, now please take a bow.

I'd rather curtsey if it's all the same

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not a date ....this is just a tribute

Haha bravo, now please take a bow.

I'd rather curtsey if it's all the same

I'll allow it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

D'ya think that waitress would be up for a threesome later?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"D'ya think that waitress would be up for a threesome later?"

I wouldn't try that after several years of marriage either, just an FYI, haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

My ex left her body in my freezer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arry WindsorMan
over a year ago

Heaton Park Manchester

"Can you lend me a tenner !

That happened to me at the end of a meet once. He had no money to get home... apparently!

he was young!

That was it for me meeting under 25s

Tbf he did buy me drinks at the pub before

Happened to me as well!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get my test results back tomorrow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did you break up with your ex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you swallow

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you swallow

My type of lady

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you swallow

I gargle

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

My mother's going to love you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want kids

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

I brought condoms!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hinypants77 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Do you want kids

Did you just swallow my kids?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I brought condoms!

You've pulled!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you want kids

Did you just swallow my kids?

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ooooh ellooo my genitals ooze green puss wanna lick me clean?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mother's going to love you!

I've seen this on the Internet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you want kids

Did you just swallow my kids?

Good way keeping them quiet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Excuse me, does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TAH,,,DAH! surprise!,,my cocks bigger than yours

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Can you give me profile advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

Let's make this quick, my curfew starts in an hour....

So.... We going Dutch or what?

If I like you, can I keep you?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Oops, I was sure that the keys to the handcuffs were right here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Do you bareback first date

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread