FabSwingers.com forum: Things to never say on a first date.

By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

How much does your mother weigh?

I want to know what I’m getting into.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

You know the pictures in your profile.

Why aren’t they of you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How come you’re single?

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Is there a history of insanity in your family? Or are you the first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your sister was better looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you marry me XXX

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By *ilent.KnightMan
over a year ago

Swindon

"How much does your mother weigh?

I want to know what I’m getting into. "
i now how much your mother weights ... damn near suffocated me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How much does your mother weigh?

I want to know what I’m getting into. i now how much your mother weights ... damn near suffocated me. "

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"You know the pictures in your profile.

Why aren’t they of you

Haha! Yep.

Also why the hell do some people only ever take photos with their phone right up in the air at a silly angle. What’s that about?

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By *omesWoman
over a year ago

Surrey

I'm a seasoned swinger with the occasional interest in BDSM -

specifically chains, wax and flogging.... They tend to turn and run hahaha

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Would you like to go halves on a bastard?

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"I'm a seasoned swinger with the occasional interest in BDSM -

specifically chains, wax and flogging.... They tend to turn and run hahaha

Chain em up. No escape

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By *DONToBEoNOSEYoMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Fuck sake get me a beer!!!

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By *omesWoman
over a year ago

Surrey

"I'm a seasoned swinger with the occasional interest in BDSM -

specifically chains, wax and flogging.... They tend to turn and run hahaha

Chain em up. No escape

Good plan for next time!

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"How come you’re single?

Because I’m a sexual deviant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Will you marry me XXX"

You beat me to it

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By *ustafasinghMan
over a year ago

leicester

I went china to eat a dog, it's quite nice...

(I haven't actually btw)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a fuck?

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By *lderukmale2005Man
over a year ago

basingstoke

You call that 6 inches?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look different when you're awake

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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago

marlow

"You know the pictures in your profile.

Why aren’t they of you

Haha! Yep.

Also why the hell do some people only ever take photos with their phone right up in the air at a silly angle. What’s that about?"

To hide the double chin.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you lend me some money

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By *rash_pandaMan
over a year ago

Dublin

When can you do my washing... I'm running out of socks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you lend me a tenner !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on day release from Broadmoor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just remind me, you're......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you found Jesus?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you lend me a tenner !"

That happened to me at the end of a meet once. He had no money to get home... apparently!

he was young!

That was it for me meeting under 25s

Tbf he did buy me drinks at the pub before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So like he TOTALLY like you know and I like was all as if and he was all like my dad about sleeping with his best friend after I spent all his money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You look like my mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lorena Bobbit is just misunderstood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The voices in my head are screaming at me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you lend me a tenner !

That happened to me at the end of a meet once. He had no money to get home... apparently!

he was young!

That was it for me meeting under 25s

Tbf he did buy me drinks at the pub before

I had to lend one meet my bicycle lights as she had to get back from Malvern to Gloucester at 3.00am so her uncle didn’t know she had been out all night!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you lend me a tenner !

That happened to me at the end of a meet once. He had no money to get home... apparently!

he was young!

That was it for me meeting under 25s

Tbf he did buy me drinks at the pub before

I had to lend one meet my bicycle lights as she had to get back from Malvern to Gloucester at 3.00am so her uncle didn’t know she had been out all night!

Wow!

she cycled to meet you and back again! You must have super D!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just realised that might not make sense.

1. She was on her bicycle...which I’d picked up with her in Newent.

2. It wasn’t actually our first meet! (Or our last....I did get my lights back!)

3. She got from Malvern to Gloucester in an hour on a bicycle! She was mad fit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You look like my mum

A guy got our front door and as the wife opened it he said you remind me of my nan and walked away ! lol

Funny bit was he messaged her from a different profile about 6 months later obviously thinking she wouldn't remember (women remember everything)and she mailed him back saying he reminded her of her great granddad so didn't want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here...smell this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that puss coming from the end ?

Guy... shame about the Titanic sinking !

Woman... Whys that ?

Guy... Its on that bit of newspaper stuck to your ass.

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By *omeo66Man
over a year ago

Is your friend in your profile picture single ?

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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago

Buckley North Wales

You don't sweat much for a fat girl.

My former cell mate told me all about you.

Well if you insist on paying I'll have the Lobster with truffles and the champaigne.

My mummy told me I should ask you out and I always do what mummy says.

Don't be silly of course these arent my real teath.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Remind me of your name...

Let's go for a walk along the canal...

I'd love to tie you up...

I forgot my wallet...

Your sister said...

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By *evensnipeMan
over a year ago

Dinbych

In a bit misunderstood like mY famous brother.... Hannibal Lecter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love you".

I was told that after 1 week. I ran for the hills!

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By *tumpy1Man
over a year ago

cookoo

Keep the pillow over your mouth you're breath stinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You looked so good on the train last Wednesday. And at Tesco on Friday. And at the gym on Saturday and.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mine now just put this cuff on x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You looked so good on the train last Wednesday. And at Tesco on Friday. And at the gym on Saturday and........."

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘How plain are you without all the makeup?’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your below 7 inches just pay for the meal and go and never contact me again x

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By *onforming_deviantWoman
over a year ago

hull

"Would you like to go halves on a bastard?"

Genius

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Divulge too much information.

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By *evensnipeMan
over a year ago

Dinbych

Oophs. Hello mother!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pull my finger.....

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Sorry I'm waiting for somebody way more attractive than you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're so cute when you're sleeping!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would you mind bending over right now? (although some may not object perhaps!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a vanilla date last night. She spent the whole night talking about her exes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not a date.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"You call that 6 inches?"

*Fab inches...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does this cloth smell like to you?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

It's years since I was on a vanilla date........

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Get in the van!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so glad you turned up. I think mummy is going to like you, (open a wooden box) "Do you like her, mummy?"

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Do you cum here often

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How come you’re single?

Because I’m a sexual deviant.

Of course this may be a valid reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You call that 6 inches?

*Fab inches...

dying!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you like Anal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife died last month

That happened to me on the last date I went on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello there, lovely to meet you, I'd like to introduce you to my Mum, she's right here.

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

[Removed by poster at 22/11/17 18:15:08]

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Is that the "Scent of Desperation" that you are wearing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does your sister fancy a 3sum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do u like my sweater i got you a matching one we could be twins

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By *unshine05Man
over a year ago

Sherborne

Your alot bigger then you look through the telescope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I knit floral sweaters for Pugs in my spare time and have an extensive anorak collection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I knit floral sweaters for Pugs in my spare time and have an extensive anorak collection. "

Ooh do one for my terrier please

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By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

South

Guy - So umm... Could you hook me up with your mum. Just seen her pic on your phone. She looks TASTY!

Lady - Cheque please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Now your my girlfriend...’ true story it happened

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By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Oh Hiya Sis

Fancy meeting you here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flower person:

“Flower for the lady sir? “

Me:

“FUCK OFF”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to come home with me and meet my mom. If she approves of you we can see each other again. True story x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your sister said you'd be up for anything

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

If the Old Bill Ask After me, just say we were together ALL night

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

...so you're a member of the Kennel Club? How amazing...I like dogging, too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you work in a bank well I'd like to give you a small deposit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my friend said this was a blind date i didn't realize he meant you were blind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who’s that woman in that picture with you?

YOUR MUM

Holy shit I might be your dad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t it bad what’s happened to that Harvey Weinstein?

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Pull my finger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to get together again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a dating site I once said:

"You'd look good in my cage."

Expecting a reply any day now...

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By *K430Man
over a year ago

Tipperary

Impressive tache

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you shave your legs? How about higher up?

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"How come you’re single?

I think that is a fair question, I've been asked that

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You'll be fine , I've left you with one kidney - I can't believe you're such a heavy sleeper.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn’t I see you at the last parents evening?

ps. I came very close to this scenario!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thank you for a wonderful evening I'll move my stuff in in the morning"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hiya John oops sorry Paul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's Johnny!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Here's Johnny!"

I miss J0hnny

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"On a dating site I once said:

"You'd look good in my cage."

Expecting a reply any day now...

Hahaha! Fuck it. I’ll get in your cage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you like caravans and banjo music...

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

I wish I could've fucked you when you were younger....

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By *bandAbCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire.

You would look good tied to our bed in the morning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there a history of insanity in your family? Or are you the first?"

Wish I’d asked that question back in June......would have saved a whole heap of shit man....

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

What's your name again? After calling them by the wrong one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your alot bigger then you look through the telescope"

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

You're pretty...you'll fit in perfectly with the rest of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please spit in my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you will let me treat you to anything you desire, once we arrive at the car boot sale

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

No, it's my treat I'll get dinner.

Do you want fries with your Burger?

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By *icky_tvLondonTV/TS
over a year ago

london

_dam1971 said:

Is there a history of insanity in your family? Or are you the first?"

How about referring said date back to forum posts they've made that expose them as crass?

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

It rubs the lotion on its skin otherwise it gets the hose again

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By *bandjam91Couple
over a year ago

London

Show me your pink bits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit, I forgot my Rohypnol.

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Want to join me on a walk in the woods? My shovel needs some exercise.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Do you like the Teletubbies?

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By *olly_AmberTV/TS
over a year ago

Live Sussex, Work London

Where did you get that dress?

I have a similar one or can it try it on later

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I have the perfect wedding dress for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What size penis

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By *tep121Man
over a year ago

manchester

Awww crap! I left my wallet in my other pants.. you ok for it?

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By *amiePhuktMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Wow i have always wanted a Rolex !! ,, and an Omega ..... and a Tag Heur ... and gold bracelet.... RIGHT wait a fucking minute here !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd give it at least 5 mins if i were you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not a date ....this is just a tribute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not a date ....this is just a tribute

Haha bravo, now please take a bow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not a date ....this is just a tribute

Haha bravo, now please take a bow.

I'd rather curtsey if it's all the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not a date ....this is just a tribute

Haha bravo, now please take a bow.

I'd rather curtsey if it's all the same

I'll allow it

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

D'ya think that waitress would be up for a threesome later?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"D'ya think that waitress would be up for a threesome later?"

I wouldn't try that after several years of marriage either, just an FYI, haha

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

My ex left her body in my freezer.

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By *arry WindsorMan
over a year ago

Heaton Park Manchester

"Can you lend me a tenner !

That happened to me at the end of a meet once. He had no money to get home... apparently!

he was young!

That was it for me meeting under 25s

Tbf he did buy me drinks at the pub before

Happened to me as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get my test results back tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did you break up with your ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you swallow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you swallow

My type of lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you swallow

I gargle

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

My mother's going to love you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want kids

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By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

I brought condoms!

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By *rLucky777 OP Man
over a year ago

Leeds

"Do you want kids

Did you just swallow my kids?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I brought condoms!

You've pulled!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you want kids

Did you just swallow my kids?

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ooooh ellooo my genitals ooze green puss wanna lick me clean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mother's going to love you!

I've seen this on the Internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you want kids

Did you just swallow my kids?

Good way keeping them quiet

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Excuse me, does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TAH,,,DAH! surprise!,,my cocks bigger than yours

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Can you give me profile advice

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By *oblovesyouMan
over a year ago

poole

Let's make this quick, my curfew starts in an hour....

So.... We going Dutch or what?

If I like you, can I keep you?

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Oops, I was sure that the keys to the handcuffs were right here.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Do you bareback first date

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