FabSwingers.com forum: My 1st

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been hangin' around on here for a long time now and i've just had my 1st timewaster!!

I wont feel so left out now when i read about other peoples let downs and no shows! lol

At least he did txt and say i've seen you thru my window and you're not my type so i suppose i should be gratefull...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been hangin' around on here for a long time now and i've just had my 1st timewaster!!

I wont feel so left out now when i read about other peoples let downs and no shows! lol

At least he did txt and say i've seen you thru my window and you're not my type so i suppose i should be gratefull...lol

Omg that's terrible. Hope you are ok x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok.... so he's obviously insane...

Sorry you had a timewater... Hope you continue to have much much fun....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've only ever had to cancel 1 meeting on the day, but made sure I called to let them know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheeky devil.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've only ever had to cancel 1 meeting on the day, but made sure I called to let them know.

Yeah, but the reason he gave the OP was awful.... seriously...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been hangin' around on here for a long time now and i've just had my 1st timewaster!!

I wont feel so left out now when i read about other peoples let downs and no shows! lol

At least he did txt and say i've seen you thru my window and you're not my type so i suppose i should be gratefull...lol

Were you outside his house when he texted????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but the pricks out of order and dam right ignorant

If he was close enough to see you he should have had the balls to face you

Some people have no scence of etiquette or politeness anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats terrible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You cannot legislate for idiots! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but the pricks out of order and dam right ignorant

If he was close enough to see you he should have had the balls to face you

Some people have no scence of etiquette or politeness anymore "

Very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is most unpleasant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry but the pricks out of order and dam right ignorant

If he was close enough to see you he should have had the balls to face you

Some people have no scence of etiquette or politeness anymore

Very true"

i totally agree

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Sorry to disagree but if he did indeed see you and decide you were not his type and then bothered to send a text to explain this.... he's not a timewaster in my book.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

had he not seen pics prior to meet to help in his decision making?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Sorry to disagree but if he did indeed see you and decide you were not his type and then bothered to send a text to explain this.... he's not a timewaster in my book."

Thanks Polo, I was dying to say the same but I chickened out, I have had to do the same in the past, but I did let them stay and have a beer first

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I've only ever had to cancel 1 meeting on the day, but made sure I called to let them know.

Yeah, but the reason he gave the OP was awful.... seriously..."

i had one of those. i was meeting in a cafe and i let him know i was sat in the window so he would know when he walked in. he seemed to be running really late so i asked if everything was ok only to be told that he'd driven past and looked in and couldn't see anyone who looked like my pics. i immediately went online on my phone and reported him and then blocked him cos before i got to the cafe there was some kind of police operation going on in the street opposite and they had stopped through traffic and also parked the paddy wagon bang outside the window blocking anyone from looking in!

so i knew perfectly well that he had't even left to meet me and was taking some strange pleasure in trying to knock my confidence

to the op, if he didn't even make himself known then i would suggest that you mark it as his loss not as a comment on you. there is a possibility that he wasn't even there and never intended to be and that he gets his kicks from playing with people.

report him as a timewaster and block. any decent, genuine swinger would have the decency to meet and say no thanks in person. even a coffee and a feeble excuse to leave would have shown more courtesy towards you and the rest of the community - cos remember hes queering everyones pitch by playing these games!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been hangin' around on here for a long time now and i've just had my 1st timewaster!!

I wont feel so left out now when i read about other peoples let downs and no shows! lol

At least he did txt and say i've seen you thru my window and you're not my type so i suppose i should be gratefull...lol

I hope you apologised for wasting his time!

no - honestly - this is horrible! There is nothing wrong with having a drink and a chat - and then he could have still said - no thanks not my type .... but he didn't have the balls to tell you that in your face!

Can't believe he really texted you that he saw you out of the window and changed his mind!

Ohhhh makes me sooo angry!!!!

(Sorry if the grammar isn't quite right - sometimes I still struggle with the bloody English languag lol)

Sandra xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had a few but it is to be expected i guess.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He knew my 'type' from my profile so it was a lame excuse, i'm just glad i didnt get a taxi there as he'd suggested!!

I've blocked him now, he's only been on here a few weeks and unless he develops some manners (which somehow i doubt he will) he's not going to be here for verylong! lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"He knew my 'type' from my profile so it was a lame excuse, i'm just glad i didnt get a taxi there as he'd suggested!!

I've blocked him now, he's only been on here a few weeks and unless he develops some manners (which somehow i doubt he will) he's not going to be here for verylong! lol"

Why's that? The not being here very long? He got you to turn up didn't he... with or without any manners. No doubt he'll manage to get someone else to do the same..... may be they will be his type, may be they won't.... may be he won't be their's or may be he will.... who knows.

A profile is only a hint/snippet of a person..... I am never really 100% sure if someone is my type until I see them in the flesh..... though I tend to be at least 95% sure before arranging to meet.

No one can be all things to all men...... everyone should expect to be knocked back at some point or another.

Move on and avoid sounding bitter about it.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Ive been here over two years and havent had a timewaster yet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

got to be honest i would much rather a text saying sorry not my type than have him meet and give me a sympathy shag as he hasn't the balls to say no ta love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had a couple of knock backs and that's fine and agreed that not everyone is to everyone elses taste. But for me I like to spend time getting ready and female grooming etc. For someone not even going to be prepared to have a coffee with you and just send a text is just rude. I would never do that to someone. Manners cost nothing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not bitter about it, i consider myself lucky as i've met some lovely people on here that have become friends and that this is the 1st bad experiance i've had...i'm way to thick skinned to let this turn me bitter n twisted! lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I have had a couple of knock backs and that's fine and agreed that not everyone is to everyone elses taste. But for me I like to spend time getting ready and female grooming etc. For someone not even going to be prepared to have a coffee with you and just send a text is just rude. I would never do that to someone. Manners cost nothing."

Think of it this way for a moment….

He doesn’t send the text and leaves her walking up and down the street for an hour whilst he hides behind the curtains…. well that would be wasting her time and pretty damn rude.

So, the alternative… he opens the door and she instantly sees the look of disappointment on his face as he realises she is not his type… and he not wanting to waste her time explains it… to her face. Is that really made the situation any better for either of them?

If she hadn’t read his reaction, was he meant to make fake pleasant conversation and then drop the bomb after she’d had a Nescafe and custard cream, so he could witness the smile fall from her face, just as she’s expecting his pants to fall to the floor?

I’d sooner get the text….no embarrassment, no uncomfortable silence, no bullshit excuses and dignity in tact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry to disagree but if he did indeed see you and decide you were not his type and then bothered to send a text to explain this.... he's not a timewaster in my book."

I agree, had he turned up and drove away, that I think is timewasting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with the op he is a time waster because he has taken the time out of her day and not even had courtesy to have a 5 minute chat, yes it's a swingers site but I would like to think that u make friends as u do it wether u shag or not!! I have met people before and nothing has happened be it me or them but we still had a coffee a chat n a laugh then went our separate ways, can take 10mins out of a 24 hour day, the guy should be ashamed kurly x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been hangin' around on here for a long time now and i've just had my 1st timewaster!!

I wont feel so left out now when i read about other peoples let downs and no shows! lol

At least he did txt and say i've seen you thru my window and you're not my type so i suppose i should be gratefull...lol

"
Lol what a diamond geezer ,, you got to admire his cheek ,, ( asuming it was a guy )

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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands

Regardless of whatever your view, some common courtesy wouldn't go a miss! Texting remains spineless and cowardly, if the guy hasn't the balls to face someone personally and explain his reservations in a sincere and kind manner, than he probably is lacking in the ability to follow through anyhow! , I think in hindsight you have been very lucky and that you would have probably regretted the meet anyhow - at least now you can wear you're I've been dicked about by a toss pot badge with pride!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol would be interested to see if those defending him would be happy to get dumped by text " yeah the fact is I been shagging ur sister, wanted to tell ya face to face but since u think texts ok for bad news I thought gr8!! Anyhow can I come round n pick me CDs up later?? Make sure ur out I will text 5 mins b4 I turn up"" lol

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

I would consider his manner rude dispite what others have said.whats wrong with a 5 min chat instead of a text?O P dont let it get you down ,and carry on happy swinging xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it just me that finds this rather funny? I chuckled at the scenario described in the OP, and imagined her walking along happily, then getting a text, and turning around and walking back the way she came with a face like thunder. It's sort of Little Britain type humour and makes me chuckle.

Sorry. I'm warped, I know.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

see I don't know if i would call it timewasting, see that is a toughie...... but i would have hope the person would have had the balls to tell them face to face rather than hiding behind a curtain and doing it by text.....

either that or the mrs must have come home early....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At least he did txt and say i've seen you thru my window and you're not my type so i suppose i should be gratefull...lol

This is one of the reasons why I always say first meet is 'social-only', and always in a public place. And I always try to set it up so that the guy has a few seconds to watch me unobserved, before deciding whether to approach me or not. In other words, I deliberately set myself up to be rejected by text, if necessary.

The reasons are two-fold:-

~ guys tend to be more 'visual' than girls, so he's more likely than I am to have 'cold-feet' based on appearance

~ I'm confident in my own social skills, so if one of us has to say face-to-face 'sorry, there's no chemistry', I'd rather it was me.

I've been lucky so far, in that none of my meets have 'walked on by', but when it happens (and I'm sure it will), I won't call him a timewaster, I'll just assume that something about my appearance didn't appeal to him, and move on to the next one

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

"At least he did txt and say i've seen you thru my window and you're not my type so i suppose i should be gratefull...lol

The reasons are two-fold:-

~ guys tend to be more 'visual' than girls, so he's more likely than I am to have 'cold-feet' based on appearance

~ I'm confident in my own social skills, so if one of us has to say face-to-face 'sorry, there's no chemistry', I'd rather it was me.

That's highly considerate of you Sunny.

Any chance of bringing a mate so there's an option? ( Though she wouldn't be needed.)

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Lol would be interested to see if those defending him would be happy to get dumped by text " yeah the fact is I been shagging ur sister, wanted to tell ya face to face but since u think texts ok for bad news I thought gr8!! Anyhow can I come round n pick me CDs up later?? Make sure ur out I will text 5 mins b4 I turn up"" lol"

Do explain... what on earth any of that has to do with the situation the OP was in? They weren't married, he wasn't ending a long standing relationship.

Do I think your GP should tell you about having cancer by text? No.

Do I think your employer should inform you about being dismissed by text? No

So what on earth has your example got to do with the price of cheese?

If a guy had posted this thread there would have been a 101 excuses made for the texting woman about how she was probably just being safe not knowing how he'd react..... well may be he was too... hell hath no fury and all that.

May be he thought it would be embarrassing for her to be told to her face.

May be he'd told someone before and they got upset and cried.... and turned into a bunny boiler.

May be he was pissed off because she didn't look anything like he expected.... we don't know!

We don't know what the arrangement was.

We don't know how the arrangement was made.

We don't really know anything much other than the text said she wasn't his type.

The OP said he knew what type she was from her profile.... if a man had said that he'd be told tough shit he should have checked better before hand.

People are saying he should have at least had a coffee with her.... yet we have no idea what the arrangement was or where they were meeting. If it was at his house... fuck that! Do you really want to let someone into your house just to tell them they are not what you were expecting? If I didn't have to I wouldn't. And as for wasting her time... wouldn't that be wasting even more of her time?

We don't even know what sort of meet was arranged... yet instantly because it's a female people rush in and say "there there he's a cunt" even though he did at least bother to tell her it was a no go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with Polo, this guy did not fancy the Op and didn't have the social skills to tell her to her face. If he was there he clearly isn't a timewaster.

This thread is about rejection plain and simple, it is NOT about timewasting, we don't know if the Ops profile is an accurate portrayal or not (no offence). We do know the guy didn't fancy her.

I would also add that it's a shame people don't show more consistency, had the Op been a guy he would have been...........well you don't need me to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont agree that he was a timewaster either. He was there and ready to meet had he been attracted to the OP.

Whilst a text sounds cold and heartless, I think I'd prefer it. Cos face to face how could you answer if a guy said, sorry I dont fancy you, you'd just have to say, Oh right thanks, bye, or you could get arsey about it if you wanted and look silly. At least with a text you can just read it, and go home, not having to face them and knowing you dont have to have any further contact.

But for whatever reason we feel is right or wrong, it wasnt very nice for the OP and I do hope she is ok and not feeling too down about it and her future meets go with a huge bang

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