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"i fancy poached eggs on toast" Yeah, me too, with some beans..parp! ![]() | |||
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"Come on then. What’s this about? ![]() Go back to part one...then if you find out could you fecking remind me ![]() | |||
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"Come on then. What’s this about? ![]() Hello, you'll have to read the other 24 episodes and we need cast members for our panto,if you're intrested ![]() | |||
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"Morning...just eating a apple ![]() Is it a cox? ![]() | |||
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"Morning...just eating a apple ![]() ![]() Yeah ![]() | |||
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"Morning...just eating a apple ![]() ![]() ![]() Love eating cox ![]() | |||
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"Morning...just eating a apple ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You've just fecking put me off them ![]() | |||
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"Morning...just eating a apple ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Haha ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Morning...just eating a apple ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You too lovely.xx | |||
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"I think our new inmate is still on part one...it could be a long night! ![]() And dash is fecking lurking...tell him to read part 24 ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes" Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes" You walk in ffs No fecking t****** | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() Morning you two ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() Morning Mistress ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() Morning _amiss...take that fecking latte off _oddy ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Ok...got it...oh it's not instant out of a packet....not drinking that...put the kettle on ! ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yak...fecking maxwell house ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It's nescafe actually.... see you've bothered to get dressed now ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() fecking snobs it was gold blend made with all milk | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That's not so bad then...can't stand that beans to cup stuff..or whatever it's called ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It's a fecking Sunday morning ![]() ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Only instant allow is average ffs | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Hahaha...doesn't normally bother you! ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Real coffee it's called ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Blurgh! ..... ![]() ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It'll go with the cat piss your drinking ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Haha ![]() ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I depend how much of it you drink...daft fecker ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Too much I think! Never mind, just had a bulk delivery of fiver pads ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh that's what I like bulk buys...3 quid a pack? ![]() | |||
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" Twirls in not upsetting the tray of lattes Morning Voddy, morning all ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() Just had my second shite ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() Tut...that's why I keep weeing today ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() Lucky you,haven't had one today yet ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() It's all the cat piss you drink ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() No it isn't! ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Try the real stuff and see ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I might request a machine for Christmas....I might ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Don't get one of them fecking pod ones They are like fecking printers...cheap to buy but the ink costs a fecking fortune ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah, I'd heard that, daughter in law has one and doesn't use it now ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() There's a bean to cup in my tesco only a £199 absolute bargain ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 1,99 is good ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() You'd be fecking lucky to get a cup of coffee for £1.99 in Costa fortune ![]() | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() i dont pay for my caramel latte in costa have a mate who works there | |||
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"And its world toilet day today ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I fecking don't | |||
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"right mistress you need to learn this If I were not upon the stage If I were not upon the stage, Another life I’d lead. If I were not upon the stage, A washer-woman I’d be. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. If I were not upon the stage, Another life I’d lead. If I were not upon the stage, A fire-woman I’d be. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. If I were not upon the stage, Another life I’d lead. If I were not upon the stage, A secretary I’d be. Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee. Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. If I were not upon the stage, Another life I’d lead. If I were not upon the stage, An airline pilot I’d be. Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds. Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds. Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee. Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. If I were not upon the stage, Another life I’d lead. If I were not upon the stage, A farmer’s wife I’d be. Ooooh, Aaahhh, Ooooh, Aaaahhh, all that lovely muck! Ooooh, Aaahhh, Ooooh, Aaaahhh, all that lovely muck! Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds. Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds. Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee. Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. If I were not upon the stage, Another life I’d lead. If I were not upon the stage, A bus conductor I’d be. Any more fares please? Any more fares please? Pass right down the bus. Any more fares please? Any more fares please? Pass right down the bus. Ooooh, Aaahhh, Ooooh, Aaaahhh, all that lovely muck! Ooooh, Aaahhh, Ooooh, Aaaahhh, all that lovely muck! Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds. Flying Concorde, flying Concorde, in and out the clouds. Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee. Typing letters, typing letters, sitting on the boss’s knee. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Fetch that ladder, fetch that ladder, someone’s stuck up there. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes. Wishy washy, wishy washy, hanging out the clothes." Feck that I want to see prince charming lines ffs | |||
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"Don't you ever, don't you ever stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome don't you ever, don't you ever stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome Prince Charming Prince Charming ridicule is nothing to be scared of don't you ever, don't you ever stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome don't you ever, don't you ever lower yourself, forgetting all your standards don't you ever, don't you ever lower yourself, forgetting all your standards Prince Charming Prince Charming ridicule is nothing to be scared of don't you ever, don't you ever stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome silk or leather or a feather respect yourself and all of those around you silk or leather or a feather respect yourself and all of those around you" I fecking know the song...so I'll have that...no fecking lines to read and Roberta's yer aunty ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” " I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() the donkey gets a mention though ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() The fecking donkey ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() What did I miss, what cock.... ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() cinders is pure well she is till paul gets to grips with her | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() She's tried to fecking disguise it as p*nis. But I fecking spotted it ![]() | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() cant see you in a loin cloth singing close every door | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() Aye but only when the curtains close ![]() | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() I wore my coat...with ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh I see it now ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() Mmm...Paul ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Fecking hussy ![]() | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() ![]() I didn't think it was the bloke with the rainbow coat thing, I thought it was Mary's bloke , he doesn't say much, only 'get that fecking donkey out of this stable, he stock's! ![]() | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() ![]() ![]() *stinks*! ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Can't help myself ![]() | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() ![]() ![]() Wtf is he stocks? You mean fecking stinks? ![]() | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() That's what I said, bloody predictive text ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'll have to fecking keep you away from cosmos. I don't want you fecking corrupting her ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() She will be quite safe with me, trust me! ![]() | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() he cant help fecking farting bet yours dont smell of fecking roses | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I could be worse...you could have got Washington ffs ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() too late i saw her earlier down the chip shop swears he was elvis | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Only if I can be the sandwich filling ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I've just trimmed my beard....didn't want to get the fecking Joseph part too ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Don't keep calling me Washington ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Hmmm...interesting thought.... ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() The fecker..told me she was having a early night ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Fecking nice thought for me...get down shep ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() she is with the chippy bloke | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() fecking blue peter now | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() The fecker....what she'll do for a large tail end ffs | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'm not fecking no porno pete ![]() ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() She obviously likes a cod piece, must be all this thespian thingy ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No, me neither! ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Just wait until that d****** on ice starts....she's not getting a fecking skate ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() TVs? ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Haha! She has no sole ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act" Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() | |||
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"A bus full of Nuns crushes a cow and falls of a cliff and they all die. They arrive at the gates of heaven and meet St. Agustin. He says to them “Sisters, welcome to great Heaven. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. Please form a single line.” And nuns do so. St. Agustin turns to the first woman in the line and asks her “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Sister Debora responds: “Well… there was this one time… that I kinda sorta…touched one with the tip of my pinky finger…” St. Agustin says “Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted.” And she did so. St. Agustin now turns to the second nun and says “Sister, have you ever touched a p.nis?” Barbara replies: “Well…. There was this one time… that I held one for a moment…” “Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted” and she does so. Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Agustin sees this and asks the Nun “Sister Susanne, why you in hurry? There is no rush!” Sister Susanne responds “Well if I’m going to have to gargle this stuff, I’d rather do it before Sister Barbara sticks her ass in it!” I fecking hope there's no fecking kids coming to this panto with fecking jokes like that ...Jesus and holy mary ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() My slipper has though ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() Ooh..I know of his widow(bless him) she's in a show on the telly ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() long as you dont have that cow of his helping you | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() A freind of mine is on that show too | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() Oh I wouldn't know about that...but she's worth one ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() Who Debbie? ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() cant stand her | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() Tbh I don't know her....but Paul just lived round the corner from me ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() Bet its Darcy ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() She gets 10's sometimes ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() Oi I spotted you...that's where you fecking go when you say your going for a piss ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh I liked him ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() alex actully | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Not a lot ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() No not all the time! I have to let them think I like the dancing thing, so I can spy for you! ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() Ah, love Alex, think she should win ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Oh ok then ![]() | |||
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"we need a magic act Ah now I remember a few tricks my old mate Paul Daniels showed me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"right see ya on my coffee breaks in morning gotta be up at half five nighty night xxx" Night _oddy ![]() | |||
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"right see ya on my coffee breaks in morning gotta be up at half five nighty night xxx" Na night lovely ![]() | |||
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"Well I'm off to bed now so I'll bid you two a goodnight ![]() ![]() Na night Mistress, see ya the morrow ![]() | |||
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"Well I'm off to bed now so I'll bid you two a goodnight ![]() ![]() ![]() You will nighty night xx | |||
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"Well I'm off to bed now so I'll bid you two a goodnight ![]() ![]() ![]() Don't forget to take your dress off, otherwise it will crease ![]() | |||
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"Morning twirlers xxx" Morning Voddy xx | |||
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"There were some fishy rumours going on in this plaice last night. Wanders off mumbling.....that's no way to talk about the king of roc and roll........." Haha eel be alright Cosmos ![]() | |||
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"Well I'm off to bed now so I'll bid you two a goodnight ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Ah I put my little baby doll number on ![]() | |||
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"Morning twirlers xxx" Afternoon _oddy ![]() | |||
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"There were some fishy rumours going on in this plaice last night. Wanders off mumbling.....that's no way to talk about the king of roc and roll........." It wasn't fecking elvis. ...he hive round the fecking corner from me ffs | |||
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"There were some fishy rumours going on in this plaice last night. Wanders off mumbling.....that's no way to talk about the king of roc and roll......... Haha eel be alright Cosmos ![]() The fecker told me he had his feet up watching some shite on bbc1 last night ![]() | |||
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"There were some fishy rumours going on in this plaice last night. Wanders off mumbling.....that's no way to talk about the king of roc and roll......... Haha eel be alright Cosmos ![]() ![]() Hey Mistress.....must have missed that! ![]() | |||
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"There were some fishy rumours going on in this plaice last night. Wanders off mumbling.....that's no way to talk about the king of roc and roll......... Haha eel be alright Cosmos ![]() ![]() ![]() Yeah just like you missed that fecking pig that just flew over yer fecking head ffs | |||
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"There were some fishy rumours going on in this plaice last night. Wanders off mumbling.....that's no way to talk about the king of roc and roll......... Haha eel be alright Cosmos ![]() ![]() ![]() Is that what it was ![]() | |||
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"There were some fishy rumours going on in this plaice last night. Wanders off mumbling.....that's no way to talk about the king of roc and roll......... Haha eel be alright Cosmos ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Feck off ![]() ![]() | |||
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"There were some fishy rumours going on in this plaice last night. Wanders off mumbling.....that's no way to talk about the king of roc and roll......... Haha eel be alright Cosmos ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Well pompey Christmas market ain't much just 8 stalls" Doh... ![]() | |||
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"Good evening Did you get any fudge _oddy?" Evening Mistress ![]() | |||
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"Good evening Did you get any fudge _oddy? Evening Mistress ![]() Evening _amiss...what's for tea? Aw feck it..dinner to you southerners ![]() | |||
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"Good evening Did you get any fudge _oddy? Evening Mistress ![]() ![]() Hehe..having pasta with tuna, sweetcorn and onion for dinner, when hubby makes it! ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Good evening Did you get any fudge _oddy? Evening Mistress ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I've put a big pan of veg soup on I'm fecking starving waiting for it to cook ![]() | |||
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"Good evening Did you get any fudge _oddy? Evening Mistress ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Mmm...that sounds delish, specially on a cold day like today ![]() | |||
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"I had kfc and train broke down hr for the next fecker" Stop fecking talking gobbledegook ![]() | |||
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"I had kfc and train broke down hr for the next fecker Stop fecking talking gobbledegook ![]() i used to love that proggramme | |||
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"I had kfc and train broke down hr for the next fecker Stop fecking talking gobbledegook ![]() Ffs what program? | |||
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"I had kfc and train broke down hr for the next fecker Stop fecking talking gobbledegook ![]() Alphabet Castle - 'Gobbledegook | |||
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"I had kfc and train broke down hr for the next fecker Stop fecking talking gobbledegook ![]() Never heard of it....must have just been a southerners program ![]() | |||
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"I had kfc and train broke down hr for the next fecker Stop fecking talking gobbledegook ![]() ![]() Alphabet Castle is an educational children's television program produced in the UK and created by Michael Cole. It began in September 1993 with a series of 27 episodes aired on CITV, and ran until December 1995. | |||
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"I had kfc and train broke down hr for the next fecker Stop fecking talking gobbledegook ![]() ![]() Cute and paste job eh....spellings too fecking good for you ![]() | |||
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"It was nice seeing Nigels brothers and sisters today and funny when a reindeer lifted his tail" Was it shitty? | |||
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"It was nice seeing Nigels brothers and sisters today and funny when a reindeer lifted his tail Was it shitty?" Blurgh ![]() | |||
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"A middle aged Irish woman went to her doctor to ask advice in reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor. "Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin." "Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it... Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went." When she called the doctor he asked how it went and she exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! It was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!' "Really? What happened?" asked the doctor. "Well, I did as you said and slipped it in his coffee and after just a few sips he jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!" "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?" "Bejaysus, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sitting here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"" Hahaha ![]() ![]() | |||
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"A middle aged Irish woman went to her doctor to ask advice in reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor. "Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin." "Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it... Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went." When she called the doctor he asked how it went and she exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! It was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!' "Really? What happened?" asked the doctor. "Well, I did as you said and slipped it in his coffee and after just a few sips he jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!" "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?" "Bejaysus, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sitting here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!"" For fecks sake ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Samiss....you need to fecking collect all them cups off that tv thread. We've feck all left for the paying customers ffs ![]() Oh bugger, I've got some, but can't keep up with the washing up. Have we got any of those plastic cups, instant always tastes better in those! ![]() | |||
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"Samiss....you need to fecking collect all them cups off that tv thread. We've feck all left for the paying customers ffs ![]() ![]() Nah feck paper cups....the feckers will burn their fingers on em. And anyhow they were my best soup bowl cups them feckers had it away with ffs | |||
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"Samiss....you need to fecking collect all them cups off that tv thread. We've feck all left for the paying customers ffs ![]() ![]() Gordon Bennett, not the fecking soup bowls ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Off to get my beauty sleep (not that I need it)!...Ooh I know a good panto with a 'beauty' in it....Can I be the beauty, who wants to be the Beast? ![]() ![]() If dash ever comes back I'll offer it to him ![]() | |||
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"Off to get my beauty sleep (not that I need it)!...Ooh I know a good panto with a 'beauty' in it....Can I be the beauty, who wants to be the Beast? ![]() ![]() ![]() Haha..or Nigel.... ![]() | |||
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"Samiss....you need to fecking collect all them cups off that tv thread. We've feck all left for the paying customers ffs ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Yep...it's the fecking last time I gone on another thread and offer the feckers a latte...feckers I they'll yer feckers ![]() | |||
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"waltzs in opens a cupboard door 50 fiver packs fall out ruddy hell sammis hidden behind is mistress best china that will do for a nice latte ![]() The fecker I knew she was fecking up to something moonlighting on them other fecking threads ![]() | |||
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"waltzs in opens a cupboard door 50 fiver packs fall out ruddy hell sammis hidden behind is mistress best china that will do for a nice latte ![]() ![]() Nah shes not in moonlighting unless there making a new series | |||
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"waltzs in opens a cupboard door 50 fiver packs fall out ruddy hell sammis hidden behind is mistress best china that will do for a nice latte ![]() ![]() Well if they do I'm playing maddie Hayes. .._amiss can feck off as the part was fecking made for me ![]() | |||
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"waltzs in opens a cupboard door 50 fiver packs fall out ruddy hell sammis hidden behind is mistress best china that will do for a nice latte ![]() ![]() ![]() nah your mpre s angels | |||
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"waltzs in opens a cupboard door 50 fiver packs fall out ruddy hell sammis hidden behind is mistress best china that will do for a nice latte ![]() ![]() ![]() I was in in...you just didn't see me ![]() | |||
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