FabSwingers.com forum: "carpet burns" on a fanny ain't funny

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sympathy please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if you tell us how the fook you managed to do that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Only if you tell us how the fook you managed to do that

Seconded!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atcherwankerMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Shitting hell

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sympathy please

Eeewww!Im now sat here with my legs crossed.Elbow burns are bad enough!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want to stop using carpet samples as a frontage device

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you had a fat arse like me your fanny wouldn't touch the floor, and you wouldn't have burning flaps.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?"

Bit of conditioner down there sorts that. Apparently.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?"

Have you got something against aging gingers?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?"

No but i haven't shaved in a few weeks so I'm the one with brillo pubes

, ow ouch.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?

Bit of conditioner down there sorts that. Apparently.

So does removal

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?

No but i haven't shaved in a few weeks so I'm the one with brillo pubes

, ow ouch."

I condition mine with Honey conditioner

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

Heaping sympathy your way

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you fuck a man with Brillo pad pubes?

Have you got something against aging gingers?

Brillo pads are gun metal grey aren't they? You're talking about those golden fleece scrubbers my mum used to use. I'd totally forgotten about them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uciyassMan
over a year ago

Leeds

"Sympathy please

OMG you poor love. How the F did you get in that position

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

Heaping sympathy your way

I read that as healing sympathy - yes please

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sympathy please

OMG you poor love. How the F did you get in that position "

Horniness, menstrual pads and a lady wank

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath. "

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

Her fanny flaps. Get it right man.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

No worms here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you can get Metanium from your local chemist that will soothe it a bit...

Or find a caring mouth to kiss it better x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days. "

I certainly will.

I'll have to remember to condition the pubes for when i don't shave - it was an added impediment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you can get Metanium from your local chemist that will soothe it a bit...

Or find a caring mouth to kiss it better x"

Very gently lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days.

I certainly will.

I'll have to remember to condition the pubes for when i don't shave - it was an added impediment."

It cuts down on static too

win/win

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...

Ouch!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

The dog on It'll be alright on the night x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"All I can imagine is you dragging your arse along a carpet like a dog

The dog on It'll be alright on the night x"

I'm hoping it (my fanny) will be alright on the night... Soon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days.

I certainly will.

I'll have to remember to condition the pubes for when i don't shave - it was an added impediment.

It cuts down on static too

win/win "

And you can choose which fragrance you want wafting from your pubes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You lot are funny

Carpet burns - a metaphor for the friction i have suffered playing all this week. You may not want the image but i was using the wand over my knickers and (menstrual) pads.

Now you know where the friction came from.

I laughed at the image. Sorry

I was just sooooooooo horny.

Lesson learned (i hope) - wear tampons and use the wand directly on my clit

Or, buy a waterproof toy and do it in the bath.

Ignore my wand?

*covers her ears*

Nooo, save that for pad free days.

I certainly will.

I'll have to remember to condition the pubes for when i don't shave - it was an added impediment.

It cuts down on static too

win/win

And you can choose which fragrance you want wafting from your pubes. "

My current conditioner is not particularly perfumed but is tresemme with keratin. I wonder if it'll reduce the curls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Ok sympathy coming your way now OP. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ok sympathy coming your way now OP. X"

Thank you sir pie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm going out for a boogie, ouch x ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Wince. Ouch. GWS to your lady garden.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wince. Ouch. GWS to your lady garden. "

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread