FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Tell us a joke!

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Really need cheering up so come up fab forums cheer me up!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s the difference between tiger woods and Santa?

Santa was smart enough to stop at three ho’s

Sorry I’ll leave now!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sister bet me a £100 I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.....

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My sister bet me a £100 I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti.....

You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?""

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Irish zookeeping apperentice has his first day on the job, the head zookeeper tells him his first job is to sweep the walkways of the aquarium area, so he picks up his broom had heads down there, two minutes of sweeping, BOOM! the back of the broom handle has smashed the main fish tank, all the water has drained out and the fish are flapping around on the floor, 'oh jaysus I dornt wanna be losin me job on de foirst dey' he thinks to himself and starts stamping on all the fish and scoops them up with his shovel, and walks to the lion enclosure and chucks the dead fish over the wall.

An hour passes and the head zookeeper appears, 'roite I want ye to go to the monkey enclosure, and sweep around dere, Der monkeys have been flingin dere poop at de visitors again' so off he goes... He starts sweeping, BOOM! The end of his broom has hit a chimp straight in the temple and killed him outright, 'I'll do de same ting as oi did before' off he trots with a the dead chimp over his shoulder to the lion enclosure...and over it goes.

An hour later the head zookeeper appears.. 'roite, I want ye to sweep around de beehives'.... Off he goes sweep sweep, (you've guessed it!) BOOM! over the beehive goes, bees everywhere all over the floor, buzzing about, so he stamps on all the bees on the floor, scoops them up with his shovel, (he's thinking at this point he's got away with twice before, he'll just do it again....great!) Over to the lion enclosure, OVER they go.

The next day, a new lion has been acquired from Colchester zoo, he's let into the enclosure, and he walks over to the resident Irish lion and says 'Alright mate, what's the grub here like?.. the Irish lion replies 'well de food here usually here is shiote, but yesturday oi had fekkin Fish, Chimp, and mushy bees!'

No offense to any Irish zookeepers or lions from Essex.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My friend's girlfriend is 6 months pregnant, they asked if I wanna put my hand on the baby. Apparently, they meant from the outside.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A Lickalotapus

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

You can keep the tip

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a lady on here last week and she said all worked up and ready.. I WANT your 9 inches inside me now.. I said fuck off... I'm not going to cut 2 inches off for you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/11/17 21:15:04]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats brown and sticky....

A stick.

Our 3 year old told me this when I collected him from nursery earlier in the week 

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common??

Men don’t care if she has one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever have sex while camping? Take my word when I say it's fucking in tents.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about the guy with 5 dicks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

I saw a man in a recovery truck banging his hands on the dash and crying!

I thought he's heading for a breakdown..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

I came home to find a clergyman and a monkey in my front room watching porn!

I didn't know whether to bash the bishop, or spank the monkey

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Kid goes to school and the teacher asks "Where were you yesterday Johnny?"

"My Grandad got burned!" He explains.

"Was he burnt badly?" The concerned teacher enquires.

"Oh no, not really. They don't fuck around at that crematorium."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you call an alligator wearing a vest. Yes an investialligator my nipper told me. He's 25

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a police woman that shaves her pussy?

A cunt stubble

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just been to tescos and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.

I can't believe the currant exchange rate.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a lemon flavoured condom?

Cums in a jiffy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is orange and sounds like a carrot

A parrot

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What is orange and sounds like a carrot

A parrot "

That's dreadful

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where do cows go on a Saturday night?

To the moooovies

*ill get my coat*

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did you hear about the guy with 5 dicks"

his underpants fit him like a glove

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did you hear about the guy with 5 dicks

his underpants fit him like a glove

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the pasty cross the road ?!?!

It was meat n potato!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Did you hear about the guy with 5 dicks

his underpants fit him like a glove

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal


"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A Lickalotapus "

.i thought he was a greek swinger..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

Horse walks into a bar, Barman asks "why the long face?"

Well, i am laughing, but only cos i am thinking that is soooo bad!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jonathon Ross has just been done for stealing a food mixer out of Asda ..

When asked why he needed to steal it ?

He said " It was a whisk he was willing to take

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xplicitMan
over a year ago

donegal

Class!!...please put your hand up if you can make a sentence with the word contagious...

.jimmy...'miss..my brother got measles and mum said i had to use my own bath towel as it was contagious....'

.

.seamus...'miss...mum said dad is no longer allowed to cut the grass before dinner as it takes the contagious'...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eeky goodnessMan
over a year ago

Worcester

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just putting all my dogging gear up for sale on eBay !

Haven’t had any bids yet but got 20 people watching !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between a condom & coffin?

Ones for cumming in & ones for going in

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/11/17 23:30:44]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A hard brexit will give you a soft cock lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between fog and mist?

If it hits you it's fog. If it doesn't...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

[Removed by poster at 16/11/17 23:40:44]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"A penguin goes on holiday driving his car to Las Vegas..

On the way his car starts to judder so he stops at a garage, the mechanic tells him to come back in 5 minutes while he looks at the car..

The penguin spots icecreams for sale nearby, being quite warm he gets one to cool down.. he really enjoys the ice cream but quite soon he is covered in the melted icecream..

He returns to his car, the mechanic turns to the penguin as says "looks like you've blown a seal". Embarrassed, the penguin replies "no I haven't, I've just eaten an ice cream""

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East


"Why did the pasty cross the road ?!?!

It was meat n potato! "

I am duty bound to like this one lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * and M lookingCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

Sex without a condom is magical.

A baby appears and the father vanishes into thin air

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just putting all my dogging gear up for sale on eBay !

Haven’t had any bids yet but got 20 people watching ! "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/11/17 06:42:11]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been to tescos and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.

I can't believe the currant exchange rate."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *amiePhuktMan
over a year ago

Bristol

How can you tell the weight of a red hot chilli pepper??

Give it a weigh, give it a way now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top