FabSwingers.com forum: Social (what do guys expect?)

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok, so for me when going on a social, all I expect is good conversation and hope there’s an attraction, then, if the social goes well for us both, we arrange another meet for sex. That’s how I’ve always done it and it’s worked pretty well so far.

Now for some reason, when the Mrs has arranged a social with guys, every one, and I do mean every one, the guy has expected to get his cock sucked by her, the Mrs has said if there’s ever a hint the guy wants a quickie before we part ways, I tell him I’m off.

So guys, how many of you go on a social but have a little hope you’ll be having your cock sucked at the end of the night?

Wondering who will give an honest answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What it say's on the tin a social is a social.

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By *arlo82Couple
over a year ago

the gym and random places

Most boys on a social are waiting for the sex to start. It's hinted at from the outset with most almost like it's a foregone conclusion.

I organise the darlo social and from most single men it's always "so when does the sex start?" Most just want their willy wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never met or expected anything. I've flirted at the very most. And the women I've met up with have been the same. That's a social isn't it?

(I did push a woman's boundaries one time, but that was kind of related to what we'd been talking about before hand )

I've been tempted to have a social near a club or hotel if I already knew I fancied them enough and knew them better.

If we want ladies in the streets, we should act like gents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apart from an organised social I've not had any 1to1s but I can assure you I most certainly wouldn't look upon them as anything other than being a meet to get to know someone and to be honest I wouldn't expect subsequent meetings to result in anything sexual either untill the lady in question felt it was right.

That's my honest view point and answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say that all the social meets i've had, the guy has expected a bit of car fun afterwards, at the very least.

Which has never happened. Mainly because i'm too shy! Mentally, i know the next meet will be sex based, so i'm more in the zone.

I've only had two men on here that i have gone on to meet for sex, but the others wanted to meet me again so the non playing on first meet didn't put them off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect a social to be sociable where I socialise with like minded people.

Sex isn't on the table.

Sex on tables is on my bucket list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just see it as a way of meeting like minding indiviuals, i don't expect much from the people except maybe for them to have a better idea if they want more than a social interaction at a later date from it

as much as i like sex i never assume im getting it from anyone

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

It makes me cringe when a guy trys to get sex on an initial social .... I may not even "like" him ....

I went for a coffee at a well known cafe recently ....he asked me for my mobile number ....I decided not to pass it on as I didn't feel comfortable with him .

As soon as I went on fab next ..he was asking to meet again , and did I have any "other" pictures .....spoilt it for me then....BLOCK..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I take my time to meet for a social then I’d expect nothing less than anal. Though if her strap-on is too big then maybe a kiss will suffice

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By *eardeddriverMan
over a year ago

Northumberland

Socials are simple, have a drink, coffee... If your lucky a bit of cheesecake

If your arranging a social then it should be just that, social, in a well lit area with other people around. I have actually had to turn some people down for a social in the past as they have suggested things like "meet me in a car park at 1am for a social" sorry but that's not a social, that's either a dogging meet or someone who's planning on killing you and feeding you to her pets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social is a social, no expectations of more. Of course its important not to push your luck as well! In short, go with the flow.

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By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Socal meets and the outcomes are decided before the meet for me.

It always gets discussed whether any funntakes place after depending on how the social goes.

Im happy with just a coffee or drink tho, i would never push it on a social if it hasnt been bought up before...just too awkward and imposing imo

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By *haremoreMan
over a year ago

Manchester

To me a Social is just that.You will soon know if there is a spark between you.Then what will be will be. We all share one thing so the social should be fun conversation wise at the very least.

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By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

No. It's like a first date. Wouldn't expect to get my cock wet at all and I'd be nervous if she came onto me.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Camden

All I hope for in a social, is that the person matches the photos they sent me (I’m including couples here), and their personality face to face, matches the rapport we’ve built online. I generally know within the first 5 minutes whether I would like to go any further, and a ‘successful’ social for me would be to end with a kiss

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

I've not had one from here yet but I wouldn't be expecting sex, I'd treat it very much like a date in the real world. A couple of drinks and a chat, see if there's any chemistry and if we find each other attractive in person, then take it from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Expect the unexpected!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite like socials and I don’t expect anything other than a chat and a laugh.

As you can imagine, I always get invited back for a coffee, but I never expect them to

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By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I always make it clear when arranging a social that there are no expectations and no assumptions. I do hope for good conversation and possibly some flirting. I don't expect to be wined and dine at the guys expense and am happy to go halves if a meal is arranged.

I have also had socials that have led straight to play, but there is nothing more off putting than meeting someone and having them dribbling and leering and expecting it to go further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social is a social and if the man expects anything more than that I'm put off and would never meet him again .my best meets and friends are the ones I chatted and had social with and then lots of fun at a later date .quick sex meets are just one offs in my opinion and not my thing at all so rather not .social is social too me .

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I've had a few where the fellas have expected more.

I tell them from the get go, before the social happens that I don't care if my bitch cave is aching for them, it will remain a social.

Zero expectation.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

The way I arranged socials has changed since I first joined.

Initially a few quick messages, then meet for a social. I found most expected more to instantly follow.

That wasn't on the cards & I had a few tense moments, even called a tease & timewaster.

Now I spend time chatting to someone, get to know them before arranging to meet.

So I already know if there's an attraction, but it's still just a social.

Don't go with the assumption anything more will happen.

Even after that I've walked away knowing I won't see them again as it just didn't click when we actually met.

Only been an occasion where more has happened, and that's definitely worked out well

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

If we are travelling any real distance for a social, we may agree that play COULD be an option if we all get on. Ideally we will arrange to meet not too far from a club, that way there are options for moving on.

On the other hand, there is never any expectation of anything, even if we're already agreed on playing. There's no guarantee if anything... until it happens.

Cal x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been on several socials through other sites. My sole intention is to enjoy a coffee and some time together chatting to find out how we get on and if we'd like to meet again, whether for another more intimate social or for sex. I have had a blow job at the end of a social but, that was their idea not mine and not something that I would expect or push for.

I've had a couple of meet to fuck offers since I've been here but have turned them down.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Absolutely nothing ..a social to me is just that however a social has been known to continue to bed but that would be instigated from the fem after wee hit it off soo well

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We meet socially first without exception. Only one man has overstepped the mark, that encounter ended quick, sharp. He was most confused and Mr N needed to explain that just as we had agreed in our messages we were just meeting socially.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a social is just that for me. if and if it goes to more so be it but sometimes it does sometimes it doesnt.

most men who offer me socials expect they are coming to mine after

, its why im going back to club meets for a while

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not bothered as I don't meet social

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

They still expect at least a bj

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"They still expect at least a bj"

I've never had nor expected a bj on a social ...am I doing this whole social thing wrong

have I been missing out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had lots and I mean lots of socials, probably around 400. There's two guys that I've done things with there and then, the rest I've just had a hot chocolate with or a milkshake and then been on my way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O yes. Bjs bjs everywhere.

Well that's what they expect.

I've usually organised a drink then go on somewhere if we get on. Not always.

Don't get me wrong I love giving oral. Just why should I for you to not even touch me

Go do one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What it say's on the tin a social is a social."

Costa Coffee

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Camden

"They still expect at least a bj"

If I don't have a desire to kiss someone, she isn't putting her lips around my cock either

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I have had some good socials where it has been just a social.

Other times when messaging ,they have unwittingly given themselves away that they expect more,so I change my mind about meeting them.

Jack would happily meet socially no expectations .

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What it say's on the tin a social is a social.

Costa Coffee

I prefere thorntons as get a free chocolate

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Yes, if I meet for a social I make it clear it will only be a social, none of this 'Oh if we like each other we can.....'...No, we can't, I want to go away, think about it, then decide if I want a play meet or not. Some guys change their mind about meeting when I do say that - their choice.

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

"They still expect at least a bj"

Can be a bit embarrassing in the middle of the coffee shop but you soon get used to the stares.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

We will only do a social if the option to play is on too . If we connect it seems pointless to meet up , chat , have a drink etc.... and then be on your way if there was a spark .

To us , swinging is about the spontenaity , the random sexual encounters with strangers , the highly charged adrenaline fuelled eroticism of that first meet . Once we get to know someone , whether that be through a social , or from meeting them a few times for fun , the very thing that makes swinging so much fun has gone .

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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

I have sorted it out beforehand.

Whether it's a straight up social, social and possible play or straight up getting down to it. What's agreed I stick too. It's not rocket science. I have never attempted to alter the agreed format during said meets. And nor have the people I met. If a social only was agreed and we both said feck it let's go get it on then yeah of course I would. I never expect this and it hasn't happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ain't buying her a drink if I'm not getting a shag out of it.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I can't say I've ever been on a social where I've felt the guy was expecting sexual favours. Mind you most of mine are during the day in Costa Coffee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The key to this is to never expect anything, that way you won't be disappointed or come off as a creep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had some great socials, 1 or 2 have led to a little playing but not all, I expect nothing so I'm never disappointed, the organised Heathrow social is 5 minutes from Ab Fabs so if play is decided on then there's a place to go, I wouldn't expect a bj for the price of a latte

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the minute someone to come to one!

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Anticipation, fun, laughter, little flirting if it is appropriate and honesty.

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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

A social is a social to us. Few drinks, good conversation, bit of a laugh, maybe a bit of flirting. Above all a chance to see if we all have a connection.

Mr2

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I expect a cup of tea, a walk in a park, maybe on the beach, maybe a drive. A pure non sex meet just to verify each other.

But girls seem to expect me to fill them with bullshit compliments, kiss them, and set the stage for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a man ask to look down my top at my boobs during a social, and then want me to stand up so he could look at my arse.

I've also had someone confess to not really being able to accommodate and then walk me to the station while he tried to find an alley way for me to suck his cock in.

I've had more than a few men stop talking when I've told them that I will not be wearing a low cut top, short skirt, hold ups and heels and they won't be groping me underneath the table.

Once or twice there has been a quick kiss in the bar, which is fine, if we are attracted to each other. They have always asked before kissing me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I ain't buying her a drink if I'm not getting a shag out of it."

Mine's a Jack and

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I have put up a social at the pub I have even had guys saying stuff like " I can't come in but you can come n give me a blow/hand job in my car" or "are we gonna have a cheeky kiss?" Which usually ends up at a quickie fairly fast...No! We are not! Or it wouldn't be a bloody social meet!! When I say I am not playing I mean it! Then I get some guys I know already say "not even for me?" Uummm...NO!! Does my nut in!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Any social I've been to has been with no expectations of anything more than a few drinks, good conversation and pleasant company - now I'm not saying that is all that has actually happened but that's been the only expectation and always will be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've met for quite a few socials and I would say I go into each with the intention of a pleasant chat, drink, flirt, but absolutely not expecting anything more.

Having said that, sometimes you just hit it off with someone and things lead onto more - whatever that may be.

And I will say it's not just guys who want more from a social. I've had socials where the fem has messaged me pics of her underwear as I'm on the way. Another was a 'quick hello' in a car where she had unbuttoned her top in preparation! Not that I am complaining!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They still expect at least a bj"

Yes this does seem to be the norm up and down the country with a lot of guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect them to buy me coffee. If I like them, I'll buy them one back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always expect a social to be a drink, coffee or such and a chat to see how everyone connects. That's my usual experience.

I have had socials with a view to playing, but that has been discussed before.

I did have one social where we met in a busy car park of a pub. I was asked to sit in her car and we had a chat. I thought it went quite well until she went a bit quiet after. Turned out because I didn't grope her or try to, she thought I wasn't interested. We did meet up at a later date and play.

But to me a social is just that. I never go with the expectation of anything else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coffee and cake. Maybe even a spot of lunch. Have had the odd snog if it went well. My main expectation is a bloody good chat getting to know each other better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only judge from going to socials on the kink scene, an not the swinging scene. But it's just been about going and meeting like-minded people, and being able to talk more freely without worry of someone of a less liberal persuasion hearing conversations not meant for them. It's a good place to meet potential future play partners for a safe drink, too. Meeting in a public environment is much safer, so they are good for that.

I led a kink scene monthly social meet for three and a half years, and there definitely is a type of man that will turn up either expecting to get lucky, or will just go around groping women at the meet. It's a tough job to do, sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like a few others have said,it usually goes well drink etc. Then they want 'car fun' after

really pisses me off as I always make it clear it isn't ever going to happen.

Many a good social (so I thought) has been ruined by this xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What it say's on the tin a social is a social.

Costa Coffee

I prefere thorntons as get a free chocolate

A social in a chocolate shop? What a awesome idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Conversation, to see if we click. If we do, discussion about where we go from here. My last, some considerable time ago, was lovely and ended up with a very pleasant snog before we parted. In truth we probably would have gone further given the opportunity. I would add that we had chatted regularly for months beforehand so felt we knew each other pretty well before we met. Still a no obligation social though, no exceptions.....

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

"Like a few others have said,it usually goes well drink etc. Then they want 'car fun' after

really pisses me off as I always make it clear it isn't ever going to happen.

Many a good social (so I thought) has been ruined by this xx"

This

Social has gone well and we've both agreed to meet again , they then think their going to get a bj in the car which then leads to me hitting the block button when I get home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happens a lot, that most men hope for more from a social.

But, it’s just that. Let’s look each other over.. so we can both be happy the reality matches the pics (many times it doesn’t)

Let’s see if we have any chemistry, and we can enjoy each other’s company.

I like a full experience. Can we have a little conversation between rounds?

And in some cases, I’m not sure immediately and I need a little time to digest before making a decision..maybe build a little anticipation...

If a guy is smutty and making demands/pressurising... it’s likely he getting nought.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think a lot of guys expect to rock up fuck and go in our experience,as soon as we mention meeting for a drink before agreeing to play end in no shows lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d be pretty gutted if I didn’t get anything after a social tbh. If possible we have brought the guy home with us. Once hubby let me have twenty minutes alone with a guy after a night pub crawling. We went to a park bench and indulged in soft play and it was very rude. Another guy who I met alone, we had some soft play in his car after the pub shut. Like teenagers. Good fun to have a starter to whet the taste buds before the real thing. In fact I was once quite pissed off that all one guy gave me was a snog in the car park before we all said goodbye.

Mrs

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By *lmostthereMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Top quality:

* Coffee

* Conversation

* Flirting

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I only ever have socials first and make that perfectly clear. If they start messaging with the ‘if we get on, can we play’ thing, it’s cancelled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good conversation,

light flirting ,phones to stay in handbags both leave with a smile on your face doesn't have to be sexuall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not meeting on here for sex at the

Moment (not in the right frame of mind for casual sex) occasionally I will agree for a social meet as happy to make friends but they would be wasting their time if they think they are getting more than a coffee from me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blow jobs and coffee seems like a wholly different kind of meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do women really not put out after a few glasses Pinot Grigio?

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"I’d be pretty gutted if I didn’t get anything after a social tbh. If possible we have brought the guy home with us. Once hubby let me have twenty minutes alone with a guy after a night pub crawling. We went to a park bench and indulged in soft play and it was very rude. Another guy who I met alone, we had some soft play in his car after the pub shut. Like teenagers. Good fun to have a starter to whet the taste buds before the real thing. In fact I was once quite pissed off that all one guy gave me was a snog in the car park before we all said goodbye.

Mrs"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, so for me when going on a social, all I expect is good conversation and hope there’s an attraction, then, if the social goes well for us both, we arrange another meet for sex. That’s how I’ve always done it and it’s worked pretty well so far.

So guys, how many of you go on a social but have a little hope you’ll be having your cock sucked at the end of the night?

Wondering who will give an honest answer

I've met sociably quite a few times and only twice has the man ever hinted about fun the same afternoon/evening .......... your mrs must be sending out the wrong signals that every man has expected a blowie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social is exactly that, it’s outside in a public place and no I don’t mean down the park when it’s dark, there should be drinks and flowing conversation with no expectations from either party, anyone expecting a blowjob should expect a punch in the face too for asking

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By *olly gMan
over a year ago

dudley

"I'd say that all the social meets i've had, the guy has expected a bit of car fun afterwards, at the very least.

Which has never happened. Mainly because i'm too shy! Mentally, i know the next meet will be sex based, so i'm more in the zone.

I've only had two men on here that i have gone on to meet for sex, but the others wanted to meet me again so the non playing on first meet didn't put them off.

"
if a guy is meeting you and respects you then he will wait till you make a move

But if he want take a no then he does not respect you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So guys, how many of you go on a social but have a little hope you’ll be having your cock sucked at the end of the night?

Wondering who will give an honest answer

Maybe your men didn't fancy you :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So guys, how many of you go on a social but have a little hope you’ll be having your cock sucked at the end of the night?

Wondering who will give an honest answer

Maybe your men didn't fancy you :D"

meow!!

I met up with the ones that I wanted to have fun with at a later date and most become regular fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only ever have socials first and make that perfectly clear. If they start messaging with the ‘if we get on, can we play’ thing, it’s cancelled. "

Me too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only ever have socials first and make that perfectly clear. If they start messaging with the ‘if we get on, can we play’ thing, it’s cancelled.

Me too! "

Me three

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I think most men will think they can charm you into bed by the end of the social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good company, good chat and the chance if a possibly getting another social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had several socials and never expected anything apart from a drink and chat.

I’ve always been respectful too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been to a few group socials. The recent Worcester Socials (see the ladies on profile of same name) have been great.

These are larger gatherings where you can meet new people...if you get on, then arrange something further...at a later date!

I’ve also had several one on one socials over the years. I have never expected more than a drink/meal/chat etc. Be they out at a coffee shop/pub etc...or at either home. So far, however, they have (bar one which I terminated) always gone further.... not because I expected or even hinted at that...but just because they did.

A social should be expected to be just that (the clue is in the name?).... anything else is a brucie bonus!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve been to a few group socials. The recent Worcester Socials (see the ladies on profile of same name) have been great.

These are larger gatherings where you can meet new people...if you get on, then arrange something further...at a later date!

A social should be expected to be just that (the clue is in the name?).... anything else is a brucie bonus!"

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By *sThunderThighsWoman
over a year ago

Toy Land

I always insist on a social and wouldn't expect sex just coffee or a few drinks and good chat . But if I feel like I would like to meet for more then I do like a cheeky kiss before I leave, because doesn't matter how much I fancied them bad kissing is a no no for me!! And I have been known to make that second meet within hours of the first if it has been convenient for us both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/11/17 01:27:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect a social to start with a limo picking me up, a 17 course meal paid in advance to avoid the awkwardness of me needing to offer to pay a portion of the cost. And unless I am very much mistaken it ends with the lady in question giving me a box with my new car key in it, which is a minimum parting gift.

Is that wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

• A blowie (at least) in the toilets

• pick up & drop off service

• her (them if a couple) to pay

Social anyone?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I expect a social to start with a limo picking me up, a 17 course meal paid in advance to avoid the awkwardness of me needing to offer to pay a portion of the cost. And unless I am very much mistaken it ends with the lady in question giving me a box with my new car key in it, which is a minimum parting gift.

Is that wrong?"

I hope the meal is part of the month long pre paid all expenses tour of Australasia and the car is at least a custom rolls..don't let em get you cheap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social to me is as it says on tin a conversation see how things go arrange meeting. The only time that changes is if she says "its a social and possible extra depending on whether we hit it off!" That's when you know it's a social with possible sex then you can be like "so is it happening?" Haha ??. Teasing as i know most social meets are conversation then maybe arrange another meet for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that wrong?

I hope the meal is part of the month long pre paid all expenses tour of Australasia and the car is at least a custom rolls..don't let em get you cheap "

Australasia trip would normally be reserved for the sex meet, wouldn't necessarily want to spend a month with someone I didn't feel horny for

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