FabSwingers.com forum: Bad dad jokes............

By *ral D OP Man
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Ill get the ball rolling with......

I went to play with a Boomerang the other day but forgot how to use it...

Then it came back to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to an erectile disfunction seminar this morning. It was a total flop. Nobody came

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger.

And then it hit me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The missus complained I came too quick so went straight to the docs,dropped my pants and said… please take a look at this,I think I’m premature. She said.. you certainly are… I’m the receptionist

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Why is Dublin so big?

Because it keeps Dubleing

. I'll leave now.

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By *inballs99Man
over a year ago

Blackheath

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint!!

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

What sort of bees do you get milk from? Boobies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.

What's come over you?

Two cars, a bike and a bus.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.

What's come over you?

Two cars, a bike and a bus.

Bong bong

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By *oe n JayCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

What do you call an angry pea....

Grumpy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Went to an erectile disfunction seminar this morning. It was a total flop. Nobody came

Thats a coincidence! I went to a premature ejaculation seminar this morning. Turns out its tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost 25% of my roof last night! oof!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love dad jokes, but i dont have any kids! I am a faux pa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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By *ig rig hullMan
over a year ago

Hull

What do ya call a guy with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Why didn't Han Solo enjoy his steak? It was Chewie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and sticky...... A STICK , sorry.,

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By *nandwet69Couple
over a year ago

cwmbran

[Removed by poster at 28/03/23 02:16:08]

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By *hippy57Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Went to fancy dress party ,with durex on my nose,asked what have you come as ! Fuck knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does the alchemist show his love for his wife?

Elixir.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Two Fish in a tank..

One turns to the other..

"So, do you know how to drive this thing?"

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

Two parrots on a perch and one says "can you smell fish?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did my cum cross the road...

I put the wrong pair of socks on

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Little Johnny woke up in the night to hear some strange sounds coming from his parents room. He opened their room door and saw his mum on all fours and his dad banging her from behind. Johnny screamed, his mum screamed and his dad fell about laughing.

Some time later Johnny's dad heard some strange noises coming from the guest room. He opened the door to see Johnny banging his grandma from behind. Johnny's dad screamed in horror.

"Not so funny when it's your mum then" said Johnny.

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By *innocentMan
over a year ago

Littlehampton

Never trust an electrician with no eye brows

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By *es_salopesCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

How big are all mermaids boobs?

Well the all wear C shells!

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By *oe n JayCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"How big are all mermaids boobs?

Well the all wear C shells!"

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mate Philip went to the doctor and he was told he’d have to have his lips removed.

Now we just call him Phil

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By *ndtheswingersMan
over a year ago

colchester

How can you spot a blind man at a nudist beach?

Come on, it's not hard!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why don't the French have two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Man walks in to a pet shop and asks to buy a wasp.

Bloke behind the counter says ‘we don’t sell wasps’

Customer replies ‘you’ve got one in the window’

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

And a deer with no eyes?

No idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call an Indian heroin addict...

Syringeit

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By *es_salopesCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

And a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea

What do you call 2 deers with no eyes or legs?

Fucking still no idea

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Man goes to the doctor and says ‘I keep thinking I’m becoming a pig’

Doc asks “how long have you felt this way?”

“About a Wheeeeeeeeek!” The man replies

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By *es_salopesCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

And a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea

What do you call 2 deers with no eyes or legs?

Fucking still no idea"

Sorry -

What do you call 2 deers that are shagging with no eyes or legs?

Fucking still no idea

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By *erseyguy84Man
over a year ago

Wirral / Skelmersdale

"What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

Used to work with a guy called Keith, we called him Keith cause he had an eye missing.

Used to know a guy with a bad limp, made his head wobble when he walked. He was known as the snipers nightmare.

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Q: What's the difference between a Hippo & a Zippo?

A: A Hippo is heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter...

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By *erseyguy84Man
over a year ago

Wirral / Skelmersdale

"What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

Used to work with a guy called Keith, we called him Keith cause he had an eye missing.

Used to know a guy with a bad limp, made his head wobble when he walked. He was known as the snipers nightmare.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

And a deer with no eyes?

No idea

What do you call a deer with 1 good eye and 1 bad eye

A good eyed deer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?

A wonky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Spilled milk boo

Spilled milk boo who?

No use crying over spilled milk

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By *eniandMikeCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

We went to a zoo the other day, but it only had one dog in it!!!!

It was a shitzu!

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By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

I saw people collecting for Parkinson's and they were shaking tins which I thought was insensitive.

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up, I got her an identical one. She was livid.

"What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

(Gotta love Gary Delaney

)

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

My children are kind, but German children are kinder

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