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Swinging on a budget......

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Pensioners! Unemployed! Wastrels! How do you afford to swing ??

C'mon .... im going to be penniless soon.

How do I keep going ?

Suggest some substitutes and non negotiables....

e.g. reusable condoms ? sheep gut washable ones ?

wtf do I do for make up n nibbles ?

Are vibrators a thing of the past?

What the Fugg do I wear ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hurry up and claim your Silver Swinger allowance. It's a non means-tested benefit that funds the purchase of lube, johnnys and mattress protectors. Looks like it might be one of the benefits to be cut to reduce government spending.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Most GUM clinics leave condoms out for anyone to take... just do a drive-by snatch and grab on your mobility scooter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most GUM clinics leave condoms out for anyone to take... just do a drive-by snatch and grab on your mobility scooter."

pmsl love it

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By *INKKKYMan
over a year ago

LIVERPOOL/ WIRRAL


"Pensioners! Unemployed! Wastrels! How do you afford to swing ??

C'mon .... im going to be penniless soon.

How do I keep going ?

Suggest some substitutes and non negotiables....

e.g. reusable condoms ? sheep gut washable ones ?

wtf do I do for make up n nibbles ?

Are vibrators a thing of the past?

What the Fugg do I wear ?? "
get a younger man to supply food drinks and condoms?? p.s as for the vibrators use the batteries out your remote control, tele is crap these days anyway!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can get condoms free and after reading your profile most guys will only want to eat one thing and thats free x

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By *imal75Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

lol, I am loving these post's

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By *imal75Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

lol, I am loving these post's

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By *nnie2009Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

swinging is free (unless ur paying for hotel)and condoms are cheap enough

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I'm not loving the help here!

So far I have snatched my condoms...

I'm in need of something long that buzzes and can preferably be plugged into the mains .... the t.v. batteries won't last long.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I can steal some more batteries from work for you Granny... you'll have to wait till tomorrow though cause I'm not going in on a Sunday!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just get a electric charger plug into the mains and hey no need for battries

as for free

make me person buy the drinks pay for the hotel have sex and say Thanks and go your own merry way

( please note i have never done the above but i bet some have lol)

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"I can steal some more batteries from work for you Granny... you'll have to wait till tomorrow though cause I'm not going in on a Sunday! "

Your'e so kind. Can you steal a rotary mix and attachments to go with them ?

P.S. Im not penniless yet....

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

Go to hotel, sneak a key from chambermaid, then go to kitchen bins and grab some left overs, and hey presto nibbles and a bed. On way out take the free coffe/tea/sugar and the toiletries and you then have your freebies. Leave key back where you found it and run(or walk as fast as you can)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go to hotel, sneak a key from chambermaid, then go to kitchen bins and grab some left overs, and hey presto nibbles and a bed. On way out take the free coffe/tea/sugar and the toiletries and you then have your freebies. Leave key back where you found it and run(or walk as fast as you can) "

Better still, go to the hotel dressed as a chambermaid and barge into each room on the pretext of housekeeping and if you surprise a handsome stud in bed nursing a hard on, you know what to do...

On your way out grab some of the booze from his mini bar.

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn


"Go to hotel, sneak a key from chambermaid, then go to kitchen bins and grab some left overs, and hey presto nibbles and a bed. On way out take the free coffe/tea/sugar and the toiletries and you then have your freebies. Leave key back where you found it and run(or walk as fast as you can)

Better still, go to the hotel dressed as a chambermaid and barge into each room on the pretext of housekeeping and if you surprise a handsome stud in bed nursing a hard on, you know what to do...

On your way out grab some of the booze from his mini bar."

damn i knew i forgot something ... the booze

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I see we have the A level class in now ..

Good idea. Im taking notes.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

To resolve the situation of flat batteries....

Stuff a carrot up your front bottom and grab your bus pass. I recommend the number 68.... it goes over 61 speed humps every 45 minutes.

When you have finished... slice the carrot into batons and that's your nibbles sorted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To resolve the situation of flat batteries....

Stuff a carrot up your front bottom and grab your bus pass. I recommend the number 68.... it goes over 61 speed humps every 45 minutes.

When you have finished... slice the carrot into batons and that's your nibbles sorted.

"

....we have some fab ladies on this site guaranteed to make you smile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To resolve the situation of flat batteries....

Stuff a carrot up your front bottom and grab your bus pass. I recommend the number 68.... it goes over 61 speed humps every 45 minutes.

When you have finished... slice the carrot into batons and that's your nibbles sorted.

....we have some fab ladies on this site guaranteed to make you smile "

and of course some FAb guys .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pensioners! Unemployed! Wastrels! How do you afford to swing ??

C'mon .... im going to be penniless soon.

How do I keep going ?

Suggest some substitutes and non negotiables....

e.g. reusable condoms ? sheep gut washable

ones ?

wtf do I do for make up n nibbles ?

Are vibrators a thing of the past?

What the Fugg do I wear ?? "

Come live wi me then we can be broke together lol xx

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple
over a year ago

Lisburn

For fake tan use a used tea bag rub all over body and let it dry, if you want sparkley tan add some glitter.

For make-up food colouring might be a help just mix and match.

P.S still working on the vibrator substitute, so will get back to you.

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By *ertnbeckyCouple
over a year ago

oldham

stick your meet phone down yer pants on vibrate then if you get a call even if you cant afford to go you get some pleasure

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"To resolve the situation of flat batteries....

Stuff a carrot up your front bottom and grab your bus pass. I recommend the number 68.... it goes over 61 speed humps every 45 minutes.

When you have finished... slice the carrot into batons and that's your nibbles sorted.

"

Moist floppy batons ? Sounds a bit Heston to me .....

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"For fake tan use a used tea bag rub all over body and let it dry, if you want sparkley tan add some glitter.

For make-up food colouring might be a help just mix and match.

P.S still working on the vibrator substitute, so will get back to you. "

Excellent idea. Im sitting in a beetroot blusher as we speak ..... axle grease isn't the best lipgloss i've ever had

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP   Woman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean


"stick your meet phone down yer pants on vibrate then if you get a call even if you cant afford to go you get some pleasure "

Best idea yet...... im going to put my fuck phone number in the meet this minute sextion n see how many calls to orgasm ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will obviously have to economise on messages, I suggest a cut and paste policy, maybe with something original and imaginative perhaps, "Fancy a fuck".....

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By *oddyWoman
over a year ago

between havant and chichester

rent out any spare rooms to young student hunks

apply for meals on wheels

have a affair with local shopkeepers for food

now all you need is a driver with a 4x4 to ram raid off licence

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