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"I have a relentless ladyboner. It won’t fuck off!  "Fuck until it fucketh off | |||
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"Can I borrow a tenner ?" With interest, yes you may | |||
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"I've got this rash.......  "Me too  | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? " I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock | |||
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"I'm addicted to strap on porn please help" Nothing wrong with it. Please advise on where I can find it | |||
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"I've got this rash.......
So we heard!"Who's been talking?  | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock " Rachel can help | |||
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"I've got this rash.......
So we heard!
Who's been talking? "*everyone* | |||
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"My bestie buddy lives too far away. By the sea Mr Todd " We love the sea Most of the sea. Except the sea with donkeys on the beach, old decrepid boss eyed ones. | |||
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"Dick sand..... "I can't help  | |||
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"I am turning into a horn zombie.....ill be roaming the forums uttering "Booooooooooobs" soon...*shakes fist*....." I'll smack you around the head with my blade like Michon | |||
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"Dick sand.....
I can't help "Fucker, you said you could help! | |||
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"can you find me a nice honey to use and abuse me " I don't know of any | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. " I'm still here  | |||
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" What would you think if I sang out of tune?" I'd walk out on you. | |||
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Do you have anything I can dunk? | |||
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"Dick sand.....
I can't help
Fucker, you said you could help! "Alas I struggle with the dick sand myself. | |||
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"Help help I've run out of custard creams!
Do you have anything I can dunk? "Your dick | |||
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"needs a cuddle" Get a cushion | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. I'm still here "Ahh thanks.. But we are not friends..  | |||
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"I have a relentless ladyboner. It won’t fuck off!
"Penguin dick needs your help ^^ | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock Rachel can help " At your service. What I don’t know about cock isn’t worth knowing.  | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends.. "You need to rectify that | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock Rachel can help At your service. What I don’t know about cock isn’t worth knowing. "It's a penguin. | |||
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"I'm Donald trump can you help me " *boom* | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? I shoved my cock into a cartoon character shaped hot water bottle to warm it up and now I've got 3rd degree burns and a penguin stuck on my cock Rachel can help At your service. What I don’t know about cock isn’t worth knowing.
It's a penguin."Oh. I know next to fuck all about penguins | |||
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"I'm addicted to strap on porn please help Nothing wrong with it. Please advise on where I can find it " The strap on or the strap on porn  | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that "Ok... Will you be my friend? There, that should do it..  | |||
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"I'm addicted to strap on porn please help Nothing wrong with it. Please advise on where I can find it The strap on or the strap on porn "Both. | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. "yes, yes I will | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. yes, yes I will "Aww shucks.. | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. yes, yes I will
Aww shucks.. "Careful. She has pictures of her hairy chest in her friends pics. It’s really quite shocking. | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. yes, yes I will
Aww shucks..
Careful. She has pictures of her hairy chest in her friends pics. It’s really quite shocking. "Shhhh | |||
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"Im in the mood for mischief "Me too | |||
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"I've been away for a few weeks and come back to find some of my friends have gone unlos.. Now feeling very unloved.. I'm still here
Ahh thanks..
But we are not friends..
You need to rectify that
Ok...
Will you be my friend?
There, that should do it.. yes, yes I will
Aww shucks..
Careful. She has pictures of her hairy chest in her friends pics. It’s really quite shocking. "Really? It's fortunate I have a yeti fetish.. Hairier the better.. | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? " i have a carrot stuck up my arse... | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do. "Wank | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? i have a carrot stuck up my arse... "  didn't you learn how to make a proper snowman? | |||
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"The weeks are too long at the weekends are too short. Please fix. Thanks." Weds is the only week day | |||
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"Today I'm blowing things! Sadly only fuses Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone. Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns! Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG! Whole house plunged into darkness! Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton. Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now " Ergh! Find a man to blow | |||
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"I have an addiction to Honey. " It's understandable, many do. | |||
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"I have a relentless ladyboner. It won’t fuck off!
Penguin dick needs your help ^^" | |||
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"I didn't know Matilda's teacher was so naughty, thought it, hoped it even, so of course so pleased to see her on Fab..." She is shocking, all teachers are. | |||
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"Today I'm blowing things! Sadly only fuses Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone. Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns! Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG! Whole house plunged into darkness! Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton. Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now Ergh! Find a man to blow "That's tomorrows plan | |||
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"Today I'm blowing things! Sadly only fuses Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone. Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns! Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG! Whole house plunged into darkness! Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton. Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now Ergh! Find a man to blow
That's tomorrows plan "Good girl  | |||
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"I want to wank in some knickers or swimwear..." Clean or dirty? | |||
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"Today I'm blowing things! Sadly only fuses Got in my car earlier, no lights, indicators, running lights, head lights, brake lights all gone. Had to plan my drive to the garage around arm signals & right turns! Got home, chucked a pitta in the toaster. BANG! Whole house plunged into darkness! Currently having kitchen refitted so my fridge freezer in living room, had to move it to get to the lecy cupboard. It's a bloody big double american thing, weighs a ton. Trouble comes in 3s,just waiting for the next thing to blow now Ergh! Find a man to blow
That's tomorrows plan
Good girl "Hehe! Glad you approve x | |||
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"I also have a raging horn "I have many things I want to do this weekend and not enough hours | |||
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"Ive burnt my dinner "What was it? | |||
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"I'm addicted to strap on porn please help" think you need to get one to use on cheeky Lmao | |||
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"I also have a raging horn
I have many things I want to do this weekend and not enough hours "Prioritise | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank "Such wisdom | |||
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"I want to live in the sunshine and not have to go to work everyday " I want _arks to have an ever present Michael Bolton soundtrack to his life | |||
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"I want to live in the sunshine and not have to go to work everyday I want _arks to have an ever present Michael Bolton soundtrack to his life " | |||
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"I also have a raging horn
I have many things I want to do this weekend and not enough hours
Prioritise "I'm trying. I'm really trying | |||
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"I need tea. I have no energy and no slave "Takeaway delivery | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom "I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect | |||
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"I want to live in the sunshine and not have to go to work everyday " Go on the dole and get a sun lamp | |||
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"Help Honey! I'm covered in clunge cheese 
Fuzz"Get peach to lick it off | |||
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"Help Honey! I'm covered in clunge cheese
Fuzz
Get peach to lick it off "She's lactose intolerant
Fuzz | |||
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"Ive burnt my dinner
What was it?"Toad in the hole | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect " | |||
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"Ive burnt my dinner
What was it?
Toad in the hole"Rename it toad in the ring of fire | |||
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"Honey, I can't be arsed. I just want to have countless orgasms and fall asleep. But I need to load the car for a tip run. What do I do? " Make him do it | |||
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"Dear Helpline I've been having an affair with a mother (gilf) and her daughter (milf). Do I end it now before it goes too Jeremy Kyle or do I carry it on and see if I can do the treble and nail the granny (nilf???) too??? " My darling. You need to seek help. And go to the fantasy section. You have the makings of a good story here | |||
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"Ive burnt my dinner
What was it?
Toad in the hole"Fuck I love that | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
"I love you too. | |||
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"Hmmm tell me what you wearing, touch ur pussy.... Ohh sorry wrong number "I'm wearing grey panties and string vest | |||
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"Hmmm tell me what you wearing, touch ur pussy.... Ohh sorry wrong number "You bad bad boy | |||
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"Can you teach people to read please xxx" They need to come to my finishing school. | |||
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"Help help I've run out of custard creams!
Do you have anything I can dunk? "chocolate digestives do? | |||
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"Can you teach people to read please xxx They need to come to my finishing school. "I'll send the next 300 or so lol | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? " I’ve pulled my calf muscle and I’m in desperate need of it to ease off a little | |||
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"Can you teach people to read please xxx They need to come to my finishing school. "Is it auto correct issue? Isn't that suppose to spell as fisting school? | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect "“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble, When I’m perfect in every way Each time I look in the mirror I get better looking each day.” | |||
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"Hmmm tell me what you wearing, touch ur pussy.... Ohh sorry wrong number
I'm wearing grey panties and string vest"Don't you not ask me what I am wearing? | |||
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"Help help I've run out of custard creams!
Do you have anything I can dunk? "have u ate all your party rings? | |||
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"Hmmm tell me what you wearing, touch ur pussy.... Ohh sorry wrong number
You bad bad boy "I was trying to call u Woody.. Seriously | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
I love you too. "Sssh. I’m married. She’ll hear you. X | |||
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"I don't know what my problem is. Tell me? "You seem to have lost the penis that came with your remote. | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? I’ve pulled my calf muscle and I’m in desperate need of it to ease off a little" You need a rub? | |||
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"Can you teach people to read please xxx They need to come to my finishing school.
Is it auto correct issue? Isn't that suppose to spell as fisting school? "No. Finishing school. Where I finish off inept men | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”"You have the same struggle. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
I love you too.
Sssh. I’m married. She’ll hear you. X"I love her too. | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? I’ve pulled my calf muscle and I’m in desperate need of it to ease off a little You need a rub?" And a whiskey. I have the whiskey so yes but don’t know anyone with the ability to help. | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”
You have the same struggle. "What struggle? I’m perfect: | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”
You have the same struggle.
What struggle? I’m perfect: "Did someone mention stwuggling? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”
You have the same struggle.
What struggle? I’m perfect:
Did someone mention stwuggling?"You having trouble with your ars? | |||
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"Hmmm tell me what you wearing, touch ur pussy.... Ohh sorry wrong number
You bad bad boy
I was trying to call u Woody.. Seriously "lol | |||
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"Miss honey - which is worse hangover horn or hangover hunger?" I'm taking this one Miss H. Neither, the worst thing is the offensive smell to others. Hungover people stink
It's gonna be me at the weekend | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks and power. I'm perfect
“oh Lord it’s hard to be humble,
When I’m perfect in every way
Each time I look in the mirror
I get better looking each day.”
You have the same struggle.
What struggle? I’m perfect:
Did someone mention stwuggling?" . Terrible stwuggle | |||
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"Miss honey - which is worse hangover horn or hangover hunger? I'm taking this one Miss H. Neither, the worst thing is the offensive smell to others. Hungover people stink
It's gonna be me at the weekend "I find rum breath a turn on | |||
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"Miss honey - which is worse hangover horn or hangover hunger? I'm taking this one Miss H. Neither, the worst thing is the offensive smell to others. Hungover people stink
It's gonna be me at the weekend
I find rum breath a turn on "Spiced I hope | |||
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"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? " It's two more days before I get to see Kitten again. Any chance you have a time machine in your back of tricks? I'm sure plenty of other would appreciate a jump to Thursday
C | |||
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"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
I love you too.
Sssh. I’m married. She’ll hear you. X
I love her too. "Fuck. Don’t tell her that! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? It's two more days before I get to see Kitten again. Any chance you have a time machine in your back of tricks? I'm sure plenty of other would appreciate a jump to Thursday
C"If I had a time machine I should very much like to go backwards and undo some things | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Help Miss Honey. I have the raging horn and don’t know what to do.
Wank
Such wisdom
I know. Wisdom, looks, power and a hairy chest. I’m perfect
I love you too.
Sssh. I’m married. She’ll hear you. X
I love her too.
Fuck. Don’t tell her that! "Shhh | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? It's two more days before I get to see Kitten again. Any chance you have a time machine in your back of tricks? I'm sure plenty of other would appreciate a jump to Thursday
C
If I had a time machine I should very much like to go backwards and undo some people "FTFY
C | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Good evening and welcome to Honeys helpline. What seems to be the problem today? It's two more days before I get to see Kitten again. Any chance you have a time machine in your back of tricks? I'm sure plenty of other would appreciate a jump to Thursday
C
If I had a time machine I should very much like to go backwards and undo some people
FTFY
C"Yes and that | |||
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