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Appropriate notice time before a meet...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi, we are a couple new to swinging and need some advice. What is appropriate notice to give before a meet?

Long story short we were messaging a couple for 2 weeks about meeting. They told us they weren't sure whether they could do friday or saturday till nearer the time, but they would get back to us.

Friday night came around and still no respose from them until 6pm we got a text saying "Is 9pm tonight good for you guys as we have arranged our weekend and childcare." They had 2 weeks to arrange things and they only tell us 3 hours before hand.

We don't have no hard feelings to the couple but we feel 3 hours notice was too short as we also had to arrange work, childcare AND get ourselves ready, we can't sort all that out in 3 hours.

By the way we're not being b*tchy just need to know if this is normal?!?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are no rules, because every person or couple is different.

Younger couples with children may need a bit more notice than older couples who's kids are more independant.

If we are on a tight schedule we use regular updates, just in case.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

If I had to sort childcare out then 3 hrs notice is not enough

Everyone arranges things differently but if you have to sort childcare and work out then make sure that the people you are meeting are aware of that too,most people should be understanding of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone's circumstances are different, therefore, it would be wrong to criticise the other party without knowing their side of the story.

I have my way of arranging meets, usually well in advance, and a deadline to confirm go or no go, usually 2 to 3 days before the actual event.

If the other party still cannot decide by the deadline, then I would consider the meet as off, and both parties are then free to make alternative arrangements.

If I am in the mood to meet at a drop of a hat, and am able to do so (as in my dog can come with me or the meet is local), with the right person, then I would do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'd say it's not convenient. It's one thing to state "meet today" but to not give you much notice does seem a little selfish.

Don't feel obliged to meet. Remember, you're here for your fun and enjoyment.

Hope things work out.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

There are no hard and fast rules. It's enough notice to meet at a click of the fingers if you are ready and local.

More notice would be needed if you were not ready - new to the person - a distance away - at work etc.

Three hours might be enough for me IF I knew the person and didn't need to vet them and IF I wasn't doing anything else.

Take some responsibility though. TELL people how much notice you need.

Doesn't sound like they were bad people to me.

Sounds like people are not precise about their needs.

Still ... next time hey x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If theres a lack of communication, crossed wires, and then to cap it all a sudden short notice ask, it usually ends up a non-meet, happens.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

hi guys thank you for ur help as we are new and dont really know the etiquette/rules, it has helped alot and we know that for future reference we should explain our situation and make sure a deadline is set as to whether we are all interested in meetin still

but thank you all for ur help, its very kind of u

Jay and Dawn

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, and I confess to being a cynic, in those circumstances unless I had been told beforehand that it was last minute before they could confirm then I would suspect that I was second choice and the first had fell through...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would agree with most here, there are no rules what works for one will not work for another.

The key is communication and you need to make it clear what your requirements are. On each occasion that may be different so you need to let people know.

Nothing wrong with giving people a deadline, that is what we normally done, with this sometimes you win, sometimes you lost but at least you know where you are up to!

It also leave you to plan something else if they do not come back to you in time!

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