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To carry on ??

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By *abbitsXXX OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

So... we as a couple are back on fab, as I the fem love the idea of sharing my man and obviously love to play with other males and get lots of attention....

So my question is after a recent experience where the male I was playing with wasn't really into me and the fem my oh was with was very into him I was left in a bit of an awkward place ... the fem and my oh carried on and we're too into ea other too notice what else was going on in the room .. so obviously me and th oh spoke about it after but ... do I risk meeting again as it did kind of seep me a little as I felt well.. invisible tbh x

Please be gentle lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's just one meet. Learn from it and move on.

Did you have a social first?

If not then maybe that's the way forward? You'll get to know if it's what everyone wants.

I guess it's always a possibility in a full swap situation.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We have a rule that if one of us is in an awkward, painful (physically or emotionally) or dangerous situation we just say out loud "can we stop please".

Some people disagree with this and say that if your partner is enjoying themselves you should let them get on with it.

Don't go in for code words or signs that can be missed, just say it out loud. The alternative would have been for you to stop proceedings between you and the guy and wait until your partner was finished but why potentially cause harm to your relationship?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

A recurring problem couples face when meeting other couples is finding a situation where the attraction works four ways round - you've not said if this was a club situation or an arranged meet OP - but either way were you "into" the guy before any play started and then found it wasn't working when you started playing?

Or were you "taking one for the team" as your other half was into the lady?

In the former case perhaps you and your other half need to work out signals between you if you need to stop play because it's just not working for one of you.

If the latter then it's a case of agreeing with your other half that you'll only play with people you both agree on before any play starts.

Was in a situation a year ago as part of the couples profile I'm a member of where my partner took one for the team (unbeknownst to me at the time) and it was a very harsh lesson learned as she felt awful about it for a while after and is certainly not something we'd do again.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've been in a situation where the guy was obviously not interested in me. There's nothing more depressing sexually than having a guy pull away from you with a look of distaste when you go to touch him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you tried seperate room swap..

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By *abbitsXXX OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

Hi yes we have tried seperate room and that works well but the other fem just didn't appear aware of unwritten rules etc and went on a bit too long and I felt a bit bad for her oh too x

Just really akward x shame a real shame as socially we all got on great

The other thing that got me a little wad pdas wen we were together as 4 sum again the m I was with dint appear interested but the other too appeared to take it to the extreme ( should they not of been reading the whole situation and judging ? ) or is that just me ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hi yes we have tried seperate room and that works well but the other fem just didn't appear aware of unwritten rules etc and went on a bit too long and I felt a bit bad for her oh too x

Just really akward x shame a real shame as socially we all got on great

The other thing that got me a little wad pdas wen we were together as 4 sum again the m I was with dint appear interested but the other too appeared to take it to the extreme ( should they not of been reading the whole situation and judging ? ) or is that just me ? "

Don't rely on unwritten rules and people in the middle of enjoying sex to read the situation.

You need to speak out if you're not enjoying what's going on not leave it to other people to know what you're feeling. That might sound harsh but I see blame and resentment in this post and that's toxic.

Talk to your partner and agree that either of you has the opportunity to bring things to a stop at any time if you can't agree or compromise swinging will damage your relationship.

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By *abbitsXXX OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

Yes as I said in the original post we have spoken about it since and managed obviously discuss it between us as a couple and I am happy to now meet other couples but a little dubious of meeting the said couple again lol does that make sense ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have left them to it and gone and had a cup of tea with the man.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yes as I said in the original post we have spoken about it since and managed obviously discuss it between us as a couple and I am happy to now meet other couples but a little dubious of meeting the said couple again lol does that make sense ? "

Yes it does. I can't imagine why you would want to if the guy is reluctant.

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By *abbitsXXX OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

Yes probably right x we both love it x and I really don't want this to put us off !

But I'm just not feeling the excitement ever since lol

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east


"Yes as I said in the original post we have spoken about it since and managed obviously discuss it between us as a couple and I am happy to now meet other couples but a little dubious of meeting the said couple again lol does that make sense ? "

If you or anyone isnt 100% happy then dont meet them again youd only be putting yourself back in the same position ..it can be hard finding a 4 way compatibility as a couple ..for us when we meet as a cpl its 4 yesses for fun but only 1 no to stop it

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By *abbitsXXX OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

This is very true but I just feel in the other 3 aren't aware if this ur on a losing battle x

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east


"This is very true but I just feel in the other 3 aren't aware if this ur on a losing battle x "

You have to learn to be more vocal ..say at the time the situation is not working for you

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By *abbitsXXX OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

Love the comment but easier said than done !

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east


"Love the comment but easier said than done ! "

You just have to be brave and speak up or these things could continue to happen ..or eventually put you off meeting altogether most people will understand ..if they dont then they dont deserve your company anyway

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Love the comment but easier said than done ! "

I understand that but you really need to try and speak up. The person first and foremost responsible for your well being is you. If you don't think you would be able to say "stop" or "can we have a time out" agree on a safe word with your partner so that they know if you say it they need to check in on you. However making someone else responsible for knowing how you're feeling isn't fair.

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By *abbitsXXX OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

Making someone else responsible is not what I mean or expected I just thought my oh may have had a tiny bit of awareness of what else was going on in the room as would the other ppl is that unreasonable ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Making someone else responsible is not what I mean or expected I just thought my oh may have had a tiny bit of awareness of what else was going on in the room as would the other ppl is that unreasonable ? "

I don't know because I don't know how you and your partner interact or exactly what went on in the room.

I do know though that you will know how you're feeling before someone else does and being comfortable in articulating that will prevent a bad feeling getting worse.

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By *abbitsXXX OP   Couple
over a year ago

Stoke on trent

Ty x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ty x "

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