FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

What type of message should i be sending?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Dont know whats going on lately but i literally cant get a conversation out of a woman. My typical first message would be something such as "Hey, read your profile, your just what im looking for. After none complicated fun and you seem like fun! Would be nice to speak more so hopefully i will hear back from you. Hope your having a nice day"

Women dont tend to respond to me after reading or it just gets deleted. Not sure politeness is getting me anywhere. Do women respond to rude messages more, is that where im going wrong? One woman actually said i was ugly then blocked me, really effected my ego and im starting to think im not getting replies because im unattractive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me that reads as a copy and paste message — which it is considering you say this is your general message to people — and it’s all “nice” and “fun” and that reads bland and boring to me. There’s no individuality or personality or knowledge of me or enquiry as to who I am. I’d read it and think “bore off”.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"For me that reads as a copy and paste message — which it is considering you say this is your general message to people — and it’s all “nice” and “fun” and that reads bland and boring to me. There’s no individuality or personality or knowledge of me or enquiry as to who I am. I’d read it and think “bore off”.

"

Ok thanks. Appreciate the honest reply. Will make references to profiles in future.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah that sounds a bit generic. I get that message and I only have a two line profile . Can you really say they're just what you're looking for and fun without chatting a bit more first

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd agree. Someone saying they read my profile but then not saying what about it made them think they should mail me just shouts out copy and paste.

Everyone is looking for "fun" so that part goes without saying.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest (if I were looking for meets) I wouldn't be too concerned about the contents of a first message as long as it wasn't an obvious copy and paste, vulgar or offering guarantees of making me so this and that more than any other human ever has.

You say hi, how's it going. I look at your profile. If I like what I see I reply, if not I don't

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"For me that reads as a copy and paste message — which it is considering you say this is your general message to people — and it’s all “nice” and “fun” and that reads bland and boring to me. There’s no individuality or personality or knowledge of me or enquiry as to who I am. I’d read it and think “bore off”.

"

Agreed. IF I bother to reply to messages like that it's normally along the lines of...

How many of the other 100 women you've sent that to have replied?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Dont know whats going on lately but i literally cant get a conversation out of a woman. My typical first message would be something such as "Hey, read your profile, your just what im looking for. After none complicated fun and you seem like fun! Would be nice to speak more so hopefully i will hear back from you. Hope your having a nice day"

Women dont tend to respond to me after reading or it just gets deleted. Not sure politeness is getting me anywhere. Do women respond to rude messages more, is that where im going wrong? One woman actually said i was ugly then blocked me, really effected my ego and im starting to think im not getting replies because im unattractive. "
perhaps you aren't what she is looking for?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dont know whats going on lately but i literally cant get a conversation out of a woman. My typical first message would be something such as "Hey, read your profile, your just what im looking for. After none complicated fun and you seem like fun! Would be nice to speak more so hopefully i will hear back from you. Hope your having a nice day"

Women dont tend to respond to me after reading or it just gets deleted. Not sure politeness is getting me anywhere. Do women respond to rude messages more, is that where im going wrong? One woman actually said i was ugly then blocked me, really effected my ego and im starting to think im not getting replies because im unattractive. perhaps you aren't what she is looking for? "

Maybe not but there was no need for her to be rude.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I did mean to say, I don't think you're ugly at all. You have a nice face.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all your imput. I never copy and paste though. That was just an example. All my messages differ depending on the content of the profile i read. I know the example was a bit lame and i will be sure to make it more personal in future. I understand women get bombarded with messages on here and it can take time for replies, i am quite patient, just wanted to know the type of messages i should be sending as its disheartening when they just get deleted.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for all your imput. I never copy and paste though. That was just an example. All my messages differ depending on the content of the profile i read. I know the example was a bit lame and i will be sure to make it more personal in future. I understand women get bombarded with messages on here and it can take time for replies, i am quite patient, just wanted to know the type of messages i should be sending as its disheartening when they just get deleted."

Well in answer to your question whether to be rude rather than polite, no. Be respectful and polite — it’ll serve you in the long run. Good luck, OP.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I did mean to say, I don't think you're ugly at all. You have a nice face."

Thanks, so have you. Well apart from the scary ones! Ha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thanks for all your imput. I never copy and paste though. That was just an example. All my messages differ depending on the content of the profile i read. I know the example was a bit lame and i will be sure to make it more personal in future. I understand women get bombarded with messages on here and it can take time for replies, i am quite patient, just wanted to know the type of messages i should be sending as its disheartening when they just get deleted.

Well in answer to your question whether to be rude rather than polite, no. Be respectful and polite — it’ll serve you in the long run. Good luck, OP. "

Thanks, much prefer to be polite anything else to me would just be disrespectful and thats not me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest


"Yeah that sounds a bit generic. I get that message and I only have a two line profile . Can you really say they're just what you're looking for and fun without chatting a bit more first"

The OP asked for advice..

So what type of message would you suggest the OP sends to someone with a generic/2 line profile?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah that sounds a bit generic. I get that message and I only have a two line profile . Can you really say they're just what you're looking for and fun without chatting a bit more first

The OP asked for advice..

So what type of message would you suggest the OP sends to someone with a generic/2 line profile?"

The poster provided advice. Providing advice doesn’t have to be writing a template message for him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest


"Yeah that sounds a bit generic. I get that message and I only have a two line profile . Can you really say they're just what you're looking for and fun without chatting a bit more first

The OP asked for advice..

So what type of message would you suggest the OP sends to someone with a generic/2 line profile?

The poster provided advice. Providing advice doesn’t have to be writing a template message for him. "

There's no advice there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"For me that reads as a copy and paste message — which it is considering you say this is your general message to people — and it’s all “nice” and “fun” and that reads bland and boring to me. There’s no individuality or personality or knowledge of me or enquiry as to who I am. I’d read it and think “bore off”.

"

i agree x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah that sounds a bit generic. I get that message and I only have a two line profile . Can you really say they're just what you're looking for and fun without chatting a bit more first

The OP asked for advice..

So what type of message would you suggest the OP sends to someone with a generic/2 line profile?

The poster provided advice. Providing advice doesn’t have to be writing a template message for him. "

There are as many ways to write a first message as there are women who don't block men.

Giving advice is one thing. Giving anyone a template to follow is nothing more than putting your words in their mouth.

OP. Just be yourself. There ia no magic formula!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You need to remember too, that although this is gonna sound shit and mean, this is how I personally deal with messages. I'm not saying it's right, and it might come across cunty....

I can sometimes go days without reading a single message, the content of the top ones in view determine whether I can be arsed or not. If I am in a messagey mood, it can be totally destroyed after I delete 50 or so messages that are crude/pointless/clearly copy n paste. Then I'll get to a decent message, by now I'm feeling quite flat, and a message that may have caught my attention if it was at the top, is now "another message"

So with me, timing and luck is everything. I bet I've missed out on lots of awesome people, whether it be meeting or making great mates. If I'm tired, I respond differently to if I'm not, hormones, mood, if I'm busy and don't want to write a shit reply so save it for later then forget.... It's hard for you guys, I appreciate that,and I apologise to all the peepsies that have written me a good one that I've simply not been able to face due to all the wank ones.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah that sounds a bit generic. I get that message and I only have a two line profile . Can you really say they're just what you're looking for and fun without chatting a bit more first

The OP asked for advice..

So what type of message would you suggest the OP sends to someone with a generic/2 line profile?

The poster provided advice. Providing advice doesn’t have to be writing a template message for him.

There's no advice there "

The OP asked what type of message he should send and provided an example and the poster said it felt generic to them (advising him of their opinion) and asked a question for the OP to consider to understand why. All of this will help

advise him on some what not to do’s.

Guidance is considered advice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Advice

look at the person/peoples profile make sure you meet the criteria's

Send a friendly message attach a face pic (in case they dont check profiles)

Try not use a template or a copy and paste message and get site supporters and make notes (then if they delete or not get back to you, u can make a note for yourself and u know not to message them again etc)

(personally someone who makes me smile in the 1st message and a nice recent face photo and a good profile will usually get a reply of me, even if its a no thanks, as they took the time to read my profile and send a good message)

Have fun x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah that sounds a bit generic. I get that message and I only have a two line profile . Can you really say they're just what you're looking for and fun without chatting a bit more first

The OP asked for advice..

So what type of message would you suggest the OP sends to someone with a generic/2 line profile?"

None if It says not meeting .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah that sounds a bit generic. I get that message and I only have a two line profile . Can you really say they're just what you're looking for and fun without chatting a bit more first

The OP asked for advice..

So what type of message would you suggest the OP sends to someone with a generic/2 line profile?

The poster provided advice. Providing advice doesn’t have to be writing a template message for him.

There's no advice there

The OP asked what type of message he should send and provided an example and the poster said it felt generic to them (advising him of their opinion) and asked a question for the OP to consider to understand why. All of this will help

advise him on some what not to do’s.

Guidance is considered advice.

"

Exactly this.

I can give an opinion on how a message comes across, but there is No point in telling someone what to write in a message. What appeals to me won't appeal to another.

If the profile doesn't appeal, has no detail consider why you would want to message the person anyway ?

A sprinkle of imagination, a dash of commen sense and a bit of personality without any hint of desperation makes me answer a message. (Yes all jammed into a sentence or two, go figure)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always ensure to make a message personal... ensure to relate specifically to what is written in their profile. At least then, when they read it (if they read it ) they know you have taken time to read and think about what you have written.... fingers crossed you’ll get a response!

Well that is my (possibly naive) view anyway. I find more that messages remain unread... probably lost in the dozens of emails women and couples get!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always ensure to make a message personal... ensure to relate specifically to what is written in their profile. At least then, when they read it (if they read it ) they know you have taken time to read and think about what you have written.... fingers crossed you’ll get a response!

Well that is my (possibly naive) view anyway. I find more that messages remain unread... probably lost in the dozens of emails women and couples get!! "

why do u feel the need to keep sent messages?

curious

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the best way is fuck the messages off......

I tried for ages messaging women/couples in different ways (funny, nice, dirty, cunty). Ye I would get the odd reply, but got nothing near the effort I put in to the first message I sent.

I found its best to go down to the nearest swingers club (shit myself the first time) and get chatting to people there, make friends, maybe more. You’ll find you start to get more activity on here afterwards.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the best way is fuck the messages off......

I tried for ages messaging women/couples in different ways (funny, nice, dirty, cunty). Ye I would get the odd reply, but got nothing near the effort I put in to the first message I sent.

I found its best to go down to the nearest swingers club (shit myself the first time) and get chatting to people there, make friends, maybe more. You’ll find you start to get more activity on here afterwards. "

I agree, i don't think some of the single women and couples advising to make each message unique and original realise just how many messages single guys have to send before one even gets opened (let alone responded to).

The vast majority of messages i send remain unopened for eternity, so to put time and effort into constructing a witty and original message every time is just crazy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being totally honest

a nice message with a face photo, and a half decent profile will actually get you a reply from me,

some of you try to hard and it can be a turn off, end of the day if the person likes the sound of you, they will reply and the rest is for you two.

just have fun, dont get so caught up with this and that and dont do that do this

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the best way is fuck the messages off......

I tried for ages messaging women/couples in different ways (funny, nice, dirty, cunty). Ye I would get the odd reply, but got nothing near the effort I put in to the first message I sent.

I found its best to go down to the nearest swingers club (shit myself the first time) and get chatting to people there, make friends, maybe more. You’ll find you start to get more activity on here afterwards.

I agree, i don't think some of the single women and couples advising to make each message unique and original realise just how many messages single guys have to send before one even gets opened (let alone responded to).

The vast majority of messages i send remain unopened for eternity, so to put time and effort into constructing a witty and original message every time is just crazy."

I don’t disagree, but you stand a better chance with a non-bland message if you’re seeking input about what type of message to send.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where’s the ‘can I come round and fuck you now?’ Bit.... in all seriousness always try and inject a bit of humour in there and if you can make it relate to something in their profil to prove you have actually read it you might be on to something

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find the best way is fuck the messages off......

I tried for ages messaging women/couples in different ways (funny, nice, dirty, cunty). Ye I would get the odd reply, but got nothing near the effort I put in to the first message I sent.

I found its best to go down to the nearest swingers club (shit myself the first time) and get chatting to people there, make friends, maybe more. You’ll find you start to get more activity on here afterwards.

I agree, i don't think some of the single women and couples advising to make each message unique and original realise just how many messages single guys have to send before one even gets opened (let alone responded to).

The vast majority of messages i send remain unopened for eternity, so to put time and effort into constructing a witty and original message every time is just crazy."

I agree with you. I tend to just scan a message to see if you're being a dick, after I've already looked at your profile. I don't need a well thought out message that tells me about you (your profile should do that) or says something witty or charming about me.

Note: by 'you' I just mean the person messaging... not actually you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where’s the ‘can I come round and fuck you now?’ Bit.... in all seriousness always try and inject a bit of humour in there and if you can make it relate to something in their profil to prove you have actually read it you might be on to something "

See that would do nothing for me. At the end of the day if I don't find someone attractive then no amount of humour or wit or charm is going to get my knickers off.

Have a decent profile so I can see something about you, say hello or something and attach a face pic so I can see if I'd like to kiss you.

Simple.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always ensure to make a message personal... ensure to relate specifically to what is written in their profile. At least then, when they read it (if they read it ) they know you have taken time to read and think about what you have written.... fingers crossed you’ll get a response!

Well that is my (possibly naive) view anyway. I find more that messages remain unread... probably lost in the dozens of emails women and couples get!!

why do u feel the need to keep sent messages?

curious"

I don’t have the need to at all, just don’t go into delete them.

Guess it’s nice to know that your message has been read.... helps know where you stand, being ignored/deleted gives you the opportunity to focus elsewhere

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where’s the ‘can I come round and fuck you now?’ Bit.... in all seriousness always try and inject a bit of humour in there and if you can make it relate to something in their profil to prove you have actually read it you might be on to something "

If i had that be delete.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *abulously curiousCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Female here * I need advice 2 xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top