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"I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter. It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong. Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too. ![]() Lack of intonation causes wars I often wonder if I come across as a sarky, facetious bitch on here When really I'm a big fluffy kitten | |||
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"Thats what emojiis are for ![]() They do help enormously! ![]() | |||
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" I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content. There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently. " No, you’re right. I am arrogant ![]() | |||
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"I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter. It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong. Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too. ![]() Miaow!! ![]() | |||
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"Thats what emojiis are for ![]() Oh but we know they’re not always used in the same way ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Thats what emojiis are for ![]() ![]() They do ![]() | |||
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"I often wonder if I come across as a sarky, facetious bitch on here When really I'm a big fluffy kitten" Noooo, you come across fine as a sarky, facetious kitten ![]() | |||
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" I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content. There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently. " So true! I’m as guilty. Hell, we can all misinterpret intent in face to face comms, so no wonder we do it in written without all the additional cues (despite the cues not always being accurate anyhow). And people are also allowed to have different personas at different times, with different people and on different topics. There’s a poster on here that I know if they sat down and talked and listened to me without what I can only describe as “an already listening filter” (a predetermined judgement of my intent that skews how they hear me) then the irony is they would realise our viewpoints are not that far off, just operating from different personal experiences of the topic!! It’s laughable! But you know, I choose who I want to do emotional labour for in life and who I don’t. And I’m certainly not perfect either. ![]() | |||
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"It's so easy to take written words out of context of the original tone. Now you don't know if I am being matter-of-fact, sarcastic, or angry :p" I don’t. Which were you being? | |||
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"The first emoji was a smiley face so it could be used to ensure that the reader knew that it was meant to be a joke. " Which emoji? Which post? | |||
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"Emojis definitely help and their inclusion can alter the entire tone of the text. So easy to be misinterpreted when communicating through text only." They can sometimes cause more harm though. | |||
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" I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content. There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently. No, you’re right. I am arrogant ![]() ![]() | |||
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"The first emoji was a smiley face so it could be used to ensure that the reader knew that it was meant to be a joke. Which emoji? Which post?" . Not on here but in the real world. | |||
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"The first emoji was a smiley face so it could be used to ensure that the reader knew that it was meant to be a joke. Which emoji? Which post?. Not on here but in the real world. " I thought it started with the heart emoji actually. | |||
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"I think I'd had to agree to an extent....though I pretty good at reading between the lines and in general day to day reading on conversations. ![]() And how do you fact check your accuracy? ![]() | |||
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"Thats what emojiis are for ![]() ![]() ![]() It's easy to hide a barbed comment behind a ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Don’t see the need for a smiley face when you can just use a lol to add emotion " Lmao pto rvsp rip Is that right? | |||
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"Thats what emojiis are for ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Awww DJ x | |||
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"Don’t see the need for a smiley face when you can just use a lol to add emotion Lmao pto rvsp rip Is that right?" Yep how pdq of you | |||
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"Emojis are for people who struggle to communicate. That includes the reader/viewer of written communication. Written communication skills, including spelling, punctuation and grammar are at a considerable premium in these times. Users of this website will not find this difficult to recognise. " ![]() | |||
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"Written communication will always be open to more interpretation as it misses out on some essentials. There is no tone, inflection, pitch or volume to the voice, there is also no supporting body language. When this is added to the ping pong nature of written communication with people you don't know, it can be a minefield. Written communication also loses clarity over the spoken word. Usually because people tend to be briefer and subconsciously assume that the reader will understand the writers message and fill in the gaps. " I agree, although with your last paragraph I’d insert that this is in an online forum/message arena, and not all written comms, as written communication can actually be more clear than spoken sometimes — in terms of permanence allowing review to ensure read correctly (versus what did I hear?) and the effort/time put in to find the exact words used eg. a researched article or report or a book. Although not all. ![]() | |||
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"If I post something I think is humerus i’ll add an ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Only your ‘armful words get the ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Emojis are for people who struggle to communicate. That includes the reader/viewer of written communication. Written communication skills, including spelling, punctuation and grammar are at a considerable premium in these times. Users of this website will not find this difficult to recognise. " I think you need to be able to utilise different styles of communication though. Emojis, whether you’re a fan or not, are commonplace in this form of written comms these days. I think your comment could be viewed as overly reductionist, when you make it an absolute. | |||
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"Don’t see the need for a smiley face when you can just use a lol to add emotion Lmao pto rvsp rip Is that right? Yep how pdq of you " Amrmsmemhmomlme! ![]() | |||
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"I think we all do it at times - and it's even word if your mind works analytically and you have a tendency to over think things - especially when you read a response to something you've said and immediately feel a need to go back with something along the lines of "You may have misunderstood me...." followed by a long drawn out explanation of what you had originally said!!" Word! | |||
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"I think sometimes people are deliberately ambiguous in what they write just to cause a bit of drama ![]() I concur. | |||
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"I think written communication can be both better and worse than spoken communication - but it depends on the type of written communication. For example, I think articles and scholarly publications can be great because they allow people to be precise and really think about what they are saying, with references, footnotes, and research. But then, there's also texts and, dare I say it, internet forums, where we can have all the downsides of spoken communication (lack of research, little precision, etc) with the addition of a lack of emotional signalling, timing, and other downfalls of written communication." Absolutely agree. (Emotionally signalling my love and agreement right now, it’s manifesting in the form of dance) | |||
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" I think I'm guilty of drawing inferences from people's previous posts content. There's a poster on here I always interpret as arrogant, when perhaps the words could be read differently. No, you’re right. I am arrogant ![]() oh sorry make that 2 ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter. It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong. Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too. ![]() Thanks very similar to your thread the other week, about questioning people's intentions, missunderstandings (which I misunderstood ironically) all down to the written word as we try to work out it's context and meaning without seeing facial expressions and hearing tone of voice. Again I'll say... The written word is the greatest form of (mis)communication. | |||
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"I think written communication can be both better and worse than spoken communication - but it depends on the type of written communication. For example, I think articles and scholarly publications can be great because they allow people to be precise and really think about what they are saying, with references, footnotes, and research. But then, there's also texts and, dare I say it, internet forums, where we can have all the downsides of spoken communication (lack of research, little precision, etc) with the addition of a lack of emotional signalling, timing, and other downfalls of written communication. Absolutely agree. (Emotionally signalling my love and agreement right now, it’s manifesting in the form of dance)" I approve of anything that manifests itself in the form of dance....carry on. ![]() | |||
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"You already know how crappy I am at understanding intent at times OP. I try to remember now to actually ask for clarification if I'm uncertain - some things are too unclear and I don't want to give a negative narrative to someone's post when there's no valid reason to do so. I find that even when I actually type 'this is what I meant by x, y and z' a few will challenge it and tell me I meant otherwise. If they have a set perception of what you are like, they are more likely to view all your posts as being that way. " That’s incredibly true, Meli — sometimes it’s not even about you and failing to grasp or accept your intent (I mean anyone could be the person they refute, not just you) as they’re actually just needing to play out something for themselves and you’ve become the person that they do that at. | |||
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"I’m always fascinated by the inferences we place on people’s written words. You know, where we decide if they’re joking or teasing or being provocative or are upset or angry or bitter. It’s interesting because I guesstimate tone/emotion probably bang on sometimes and probably waaaaaaaay off on others. I know this because the prescription people apply to me is so varied in accuracy. Even when people know me, they can be completely wrong. Written communication is a potential minefield, but I love it too. ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words. Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us. And smiley faces ![]() I think it’s more 55% bl, 38% tone and 7% words. Tone is more important than people imagine. | |||
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words. Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us. And smiley faces ![]() I'll ceed to those numbers, when I think about how we talk to babies and animals, there's an awful lot of communication through tone. Isn't there "my little cuddly chops" for instance needs to be said in a certain tone, otherwise it would be quite weird. | |||
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words. Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us. And smiley faces ![]() ![]() | |||
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words. Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us. And smiley faces ![]() Had a very difficult meeting with someone yesterday. Not fab related. I could feel my body change as the time got closer. ![]() | |||
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words. Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us. And smiley faces ![]() ![]() Did it go okay in the end? | |||
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words. Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us. And smiley faces ![]() ![]() Yes pretty much. A smile from them as they entered the room made things so much better. | |||
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words. Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us. And smiley faces ![]() ![]() Hurrah! | |||
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"So based on the percentages above, what about talking on the telephone when no one can see you? Surely the weighting will shift ..." Undoubtedly it does. The % above are purely based on face to face comms and it’s often used as interview prep training. | |||
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"I think sometimes people are deliberately ambiguous in what they write just to cause a bit of drama ![]() I can't believe anyone would do that. ![]() | |||
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"Am I right in thinking that around 60-70% of communication is through body language about 15% through tone and only the remainder through words. Take away the first two and you have to work hard on the words; but that's why we have grammar to help us. And smiley faces ![]() Apparently using it in a work email is unprofessional. ![]() | |||
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"For us introverts, the ‘shy’ people, verbal communication can be very difficult in a lot of situations especially with people we don’t know. Written communication then becomes key and preferred. I love to communicate through messages be it here or elsewhere. This is more important when I’m not as comfortable with someone yet but want to get to know them. It then takes time, usually, to build that trust. If I am spending months getting to know someone then we will be messaging a lot usually. I’d hope that we would know each other quite well so that if we did then meet, we’d know what each other wants. Getting the write level of tone and content can be a tricky thing to balance and I don’t want the other person getting the wrong end of the stick. One or both of us could end up feeling unhappy if I don’t get the messaging right." ![]() | |||
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"I confess to sometimes intentionally posting things in a way which means it's not clear how they should be taken, an emoji would make it obvious but I don't use one just for my own entertainment really." ![]() | |||
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"I confess to sometimes intentionally posting things in a way which means it's not clear how they should be taken, an emoji would make it obvious but I don't use one just for my own entertainment really." You devil. Wouldn't catch me doing that. | |||
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" Lack of intonation causes wars I often wonder if I come across as a sarky, facetious bitch on here When really I'm a big fluffy kitten" I couldn't possibly comment ![]() | |||
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"For us introverts, the ‘shy’ people, verbal communication can be very difficult in a lot of situations especially with people we don’t know. Written communication then becomes key and preferred. I love to communicate through messages be it here or elsewhere. This is more important when I’m not as comfortable with someone yet but want to get to know them. It then takes time, usually, to build that trust. If I am spending months getting to know someone then we will be messaging a lot usually. I’d hope that we would know each other quite well so that if we did then meet, we’d know what each other wants. Getting the write level of tone and content can be a tricky thing to balance and I don’t want the other person getting the wrong end of the stick. One or both of us could end up feeling unhappy if I don’t get the messaging right." Knowing what you both want when you meet is so important and can make meeting much more fulfilling. Lack of good communication before meeting is a recipe for disaster ![]() | |||
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"Thats what emojiis are for ![]() ![]() I'm guilty of over emojiing posts & messages. Just in case people take my words wrongly ![]() | |||
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"One of the reasons that I don't do extensive chains of text messages that aren't interrupted by voice chat, as written communication - especially if brief - loses much of the potential for greater understanding and connection between people. In contrast, expertly crafted writing can be bliss, with phenomenal power to enable crystal clear understanding. It's just that our everyday texts are more like notes written in a hurry." Before the days of limitless minutes, I used to use whatsapp voice messaging to have long conversations...I really enjoyed using them, I rather miss it as a medium, you can think about each reply carefully! ![]() | |||
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