FabSwingers.com forum: Marriage break up :(

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi guys, well on here for a bit of advice and cheering up really.... me and my hubby were on here for a few weeks looking to start having socials and start the fun, then out of the blue i find out hes seeing someone else from his work behind my back! Im 7 months pregnant and we have got 2 children under 4 together and have been married 3 years. He is moving out now and there is no chance of us getting back together so how do i move on and stay strong??? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so sorry this is happening to you, it must be really difficult.I think you need to gather all the support you can from friends and family, good luck hun xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

look at your kids and stay strong for them. turn to family and friends for support. good luck hun x just stay strong for them little ones. pm me if you need to chat been there a few years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so sorry this is happening to you, it must be really difficult.I think you need to gather all the support you can from friends and family, good luck hun xxx"

Sound advise

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By *orestersCouple
over a year ago

The Forest

Go to your local CAB - they'll be able to recommend proper guidance counselling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to your local CAB - they'll be able to recommend proper guidance counselling."

Yep get some help and I hope things go as well as they can for you all xx

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By *o Peep n WoodyCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"look at your kids and stay strong for them. turn to family and friends for support. good luck hun x just stay strong for them little ones. pm me if you need to chat been there a few years ago."

Also, take care of yourself and your unborn baby. Stress not good for you both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Echoing what other here say, all you can do is muster your dignity and strength and be the best parent you can for your children.

It's not easy but as many others here can tell you, it's not impossible.

You may feel your life has ended and your world has collapsed but it's only the beginning of a new, different one.

Be a survivor not a victim. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you sure its passed the point of saving?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

sorry to hear your news, hope life treats you well moving forward for you and your children xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear of your bad news. Turn to friends, family and even CAB for the support you need for the 2 kids and bump x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess you just have to try and stay positive. I can only echo what others say, talk to people, friends, family and us weirdos!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/09/11 18:13:31]

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

sorry to hear about your split, all i would say is get in touch with someone to discuss financial matters with you, try and stay civil with your ex for the sake of the children, and keep in touch with friends and family and occasional stranger(ie from here) to help you get through it. there is plenty of support out there for you xxx

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By *eppersCouple
over a year ago

telford

Why is there no chance of concilliation,

you must have loved each other enough to have children, You both need to sit down in a nuetral place to discuss why he has strayed,and see if you can work through it, it must be a very difficult time for you all children included, so try please children are special and need both parents.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you have some good friends and family around you to help and support you ...as your family will feel this too so you have to stay strong and put them first and think POSITIVE as from that good things will come .. in time you will move on and sort your life out ... for now you have to look after yourself and them ..... we are here on forum us mad lot so you just post and we will be there xx BIG HUGS JO XX

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By *ap AdgeMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Keep in touch with friends you will nice support on here. If you need it the girls will help. You all they can a good cry helps too. Get plenty of rest xxx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if things get really bad and you cant cope call or go to there office the Samaritans i was one for a number of years and i know thay are there 24/7 to help and offer emotional support x

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

I'm curious as to why you have retained the "Paul" part of the profile.

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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago

Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree

Your initial reaction will be a knee jerk one of how could he. Emotions will be all over the place, especially being 7 months pregnant and dealing with two little ones as well.

You need to have some thinking time and I would strongly recommend getting in touch with Relate. If you can get pass the hurt and anger, you might be able to save your marriage.

Divorce isn't easy and you will get everyone's own personal experiences added into the mix. The only ones that suffer is the children, if the parents cannot put aside their personal differences.

Talk to CAB, talk to the Samaritans (if you want to talk anonymously), but most of all - keep the lines of communication open between your other half and you for the sake of the children you have and the one on the way.

I hope you can get things worked out amicably.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not wishing to seem insensitive but I wouldn't have thought people here would be the first port of call at such a time.

You need the real love and support from family and friends to see you through this, not platitudes from strangers.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

That is such a shame what a rat.. . if it were my hubby at that stage in my marriage two children and all their bags and baggage would be dumped on her doorstep .. plus everything he owned.. .. she wants him let her have it all !. aside from wanting to rip her throat out and set my brothers and dad on him i dont know what to say. Get out and find a decent man that would make him jealous as hell . what a bastard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not wishing to seem insensitive but I wouldn't have thought people here would be the first port of call at such a time.

You need the real love and support from family and friends to see you through this, not platitudes from strangers.

Maybe it's both...

I'm in a difficult place with my marriage at the moment too (although not a patch on the OP... it's abastard who abandons a pregnant woman IMO) and sometimes my family are the last people I want to share things with...

Tne anonymity of the Internet can enable a lot more freedom of expression that those closest to you.

As far as I am concerned, the input of folks here (or any Internet forum where you feel valued or welcome) is as valid as that of family and friends... just in a different way...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear of your bad times. Hope things settle and you have friends and family to help you through. Best wishes to you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to hear your news

1st thing i would do,,,delete my profiel if your gonna go thru a divorce well you dont want amunition from here to be used against you?

be ther 24/7 for your kids,,not on a swingers site,

sorry if that sounds harsh but just my oppinion.

auds x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That is such a shame what a rat.. . if it were my hubby at that stage in my marriage two children and all their bags and baggage would be dumped on her doorstep .. plus everything he owned.. .. she wants him let her have it all !. aside from wanting to rip her throat out and set my brothers and dad on him i dont know what to say. Get out and find a decent man that would make him jealous as hell . what a bastard. "

That's your way of doing things, it might not be the OP's. She has two young children who will see their mummy sad and a dad that's disappeared. The OP is also pregnant: do you honestly think exerting herself, turning bitter and resentful plus looking for a new man the way to go?

Really?

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

yes i do..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not wishing to seem insensitive but I wouldn't have thought people here would be the first port of call at such a time.

You need the real love and support from family and friends to see you through this, not platitudes from strangers.

Thank God - something sensible on this thread. What a place to come at a time like this. Quite unbelievable.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Not wishing to seem insensitive but I wouldn't have thought people here would be the first port of call at such a time.

You need the real love and support from family and friends to see you through this, not platitudes from strangers.

A fisherman uses many rods in different ponds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear of your situation. If is any concelltion, I spit with my wife after 15 years a couple of months ago. It is not easy to pick up the pieces, but you do, one day at a time.

I promise it will get better, but will take a bit of time. You got to look after youself and your baby and kids, they are all that is important at tis time.

If you want to chat, drop me a pm

Mike

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

really sorry to hear of your situation, having been through a shell shocking similar situation that was pretty soul destroying i do empathise with what your going through (though i must say with less others to consider).

All i can say is take it day to day, and deal with the different emotions when they come and as you can not expecting miracles from yourself, get the support you can,(financially/emotionally and practically) plenty of good places mentioned in responses that you should consider and good advice too, it wont be easy but you will get there in time.

Hope you heal as quickly as you can (that parts different for us all) and find a path forwards as smoothly as possible.

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS
over a year ago

Cheadle

very sorry to hear this old story raise its ugly head again and again, hope you get all the help and support you are going to need from your friends and family, take care sweetie, xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Hugs*

So sorry, it must be such a difficult time for you

Try I remember, what he did was HIS fault, it has nothing to do with you. In my eyes there's no excuse in cheating. You CHOOSE to have an affair & he screwed up. If he was decent he would of ended the relationship before playing around with someone else.

Also speaking of a child of a divorce PLEASE try not to bad mouth him in front of your kids. I know it's difficult, as he's hurt you so deeply, but he will always be their Dad therefore they will always love him, even if you don't.

As a kid I had some major self esteem issues & it was down to my parents constantly telling me how the other was such a loser etc. Yes, my father is a a-hole, but I don't need or want my Mum to tell me that....even now & they've been divorced 27 years.

Like some of the others I can't recommend CAB enough. I've used their services a couple of times & both times they have helped.

You CAN get through this time & you WILL. I know you probably don't feel like you can or will now, but we are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

xxxx

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