FabSwingers.com forum: To respond or just delete?

By *ilmissplumpy OP Woman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Is it being rude to reply to a nice message from a lovely looking fella that you wont waste their time & effort message flirting because you dont accommodate & wont travel as far as they live?

Would single guys prefer their messages ignored & deleted?

LMP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally. I would prefer a reply. Every time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always prefer a reply

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Why would that be seen as rude?

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

Judging by the ten billion moans on the subject I think they'd always like a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reply xxx

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

After many moons of being on this site , I’m well used to a non reply being as good as a no thank you , so it really makes no difference to me

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Is it being rude to reply to a nice message from a lovely looking fella that you wont waste their time & effort message flirting because you dont accommodate & wont travel as far as they live?

Would single guys prefer their messages ignored & deleted?

LMP"

I like a reply but the results the same either way

Be prepared for more messages from him suggesting he can pay for a hotel travel to you etc etc if you give your reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be nice to get a reply but I get that some women just don’t want to open the flood gates to responses like “why?”

I’ve had a couple of replies in the past basically saying thanks for the very nice message but I’m not what they’re looking for, I don’t mind them and I’ll usualy reply with a thanks for replying and be safe and happy

No need to be abusive at all which I think is what most women do get if they do decline a guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the ten billion moans on the subject I think they'd always like a reply"

Here why. it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it. (Not treat me like those hundreds that moan)

If I see it get ignored/deleted, it shows me she's either ignorant, or she's not spent time in her filters and is possibly attention seeking to boost her ego, and that reflects on how if I'll bother messaging another woman in the future.

That's just one way I see things.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

If it's a nice, polite, well written message, then it will always get a reply from me. I think if someone takes the time to read my profile & make an effort, it's only right to respond, even to decline their offer, but explain why

I've actually ended up with some good friends, that due to location chances are we'll never ever meet, but we chat every few days.

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By *ilmissplumpy OP Woman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I did get a response of thank you which i took to be polite & the end of the conversation. However to be called ignorant & blocked for not continuing the chat was a tad over the top.

I know some people immediately block people they have no interest in but thats not a route i planned.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just replied to one and he blocked us

Bstter than the ones that send abuse i suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have deleted before but you get them asking why so i answer sorry and give my reason .i do delete rude messages and text speak messages .As lately these have been getting on my tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a reply; but then I respect the reply and then leave them alone. A lot of guys will throw a tantrum or keep messaging back. You can always reply then block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should we reply to those who haven’t read our profiles?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just replied to one and he blocked us

Bstter than the ones that send abuse i suppose"

Perhaps he blocked you so he didn't message you again in the future..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve now added the following to my profile......

due to the number of men who become rude & abusive when I send a polite no thanks I now won’t be sending any.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just replied to one and he blocked us

Bstter than the ones that send abuse i suppose

Perhaps he blocked you so he didn't message you again in the future..

Yeah I’ll do that (but not alot) and with people who are looking for completly not me, like the BBC profiles, no point having them come up on my feed etc. Just makes life easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just replied to one and he blocked us

Bstter than the ones that send abuse i suppose

Perhaps he blocked you so he didn't message you again in the future..

Quite possibly... but then should he have acknowledged our polite decline lol where does this end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's impossible to reply to everyone being on here is hard work , God knows how to decide who to speak to or not I have currently 1883 unread messages I clear them all once a week I do try but it's impossible really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to reply if we get chance. We don’t get 1000’s like many of the young, single ladies with us being an old, worn out couple. We do get some very well written messages from men we’d certainly meet if only we had the spare time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the ten billion moans on the subject I think they'd always like a reply

Here why. it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it. (Not treat me like those hundreds that moan)

That's just one way I see things. "

I agree.

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By *ampWithABrainWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

i try not to reply but sometimes get suckered in them you get 'why' and if you tell them they give a ton of reasons why that doesn't apply... No can't be arsed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did get a response of thank you which i took to be polite & the end of the conversation. However to be called ignorant & blocked for not continuing the chat was a tad over the top.

I know some people immediately block people they have no interest in but thats not a route i planned....."

You said no thanks. It's not a chat site. It's his issue so don't feel bad at all. He's not the kind of man I'd want to meet so I'd be happy at that result.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fine with no reply, but I do prefer it when people delete the message if I've sent a face pic.

Better to give clarity early on I believe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always reply, so many times I send a message and see just deleted.

I've taken the time and effort writing a meaningful thoughtful post all I'd like in return is a "thanks but no thanks".

It would be even better if they could give me a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve now added the following to my profile......

due to the number of men who become rude & abusive when I send a polite no thanks I now won’t be sending any."

Yes good idea.I feel the same way.

xZi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it being rude to reply to a nice message from a lovely looking fella that you wont waste their time & effort message flirting because you dont accommodate & wont travel as far as they live?

Would single guys prefer their messages ignored & deleted?

LMP"

I do sometimes if I find the guy polite and attractive.

Wouldn't class it as rude though

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By *evil_u_knowMan
over a year ago

city

I prefer it to be deleted unless you see a possibility of us meeting then a polite reply saying "Not any time soon but maybe some day" or something.

But I also dont mind chatting with people that will never meet me too.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Is it being rude to reply to a nice message from a lovely looking fella that you wont waste their time & effort message flirting because you dont accommodate & wont travel as far as they live?

Would single guys prefer their messages ignored & deleted?

LMP

I like a reply but the results the same either way

Be prepared for more messages from him suggesting he can pay for a hotel travel to you etc etc if you give your reasons"
best just to say no thanks if you do reply then delete any further messages as you aren't obliged to tell anyone why, it just makes things harder as they will try to get round your explanation.

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By *wo4FemCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

It's always nice to get a reply even if it's not the reply you'd like it to be.

Sadly though some people can't handle the rejection so will become verbally abusive hence the no reply not interested rule.

Mr2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it being rude to reply to a nice message from a lovely looking fella that you wont waste their time & effort message flirting because you dont accommodate & wont travel as far as they live?

Would single guys prefer their messages ignored & deleted? For me just a reply saying not interested is so much better then just reading it and no reply

LMP"

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By *vetteBondTV/TS
over a year ago

English Riviera

It's a difficult one.

Most of the time I just don't want to reply so as to avoid any abuse but then a lot of guys write a compliment too. I love compliments so just reply with a simple thank you unfortunately that often solicits a reply to which I then feel obliged to send a thanks but no thanks and then I can get the abuse!

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

It's a tough one. I've had people not reply or delete mail as they've not been interested and then I've had the same when they've bulk deleted and are just swamped and mine just got caught in the cross fire

. Those same ones I've met and had a awesome time

. As i said on another thread,I will always send a second message to just mek sure,it hasn't been misplaced etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to think there should be a not interested option but having been on and off here for four years I’m happy if it’s been read and even happier if there is mail back, us long timers know the ladies get bombarded so even getting a conversation going can be difficult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not just say he's not what you're looking for. Then block.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I prefer a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a "Thanks but no thanks, good luck" but not offended if not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/10/17 17:35:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the ten billion moans on the subject I think they'd always like a reply

Here why. it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it. (Not treat me like those hundreds that moan)

That's just one way I see things. "

Here’s another way to see things so if I ignore all the messages I get from people who cannot be bothered to read even the first line of my profile and message me regardless of the fact that they are miles away from me does that make me ignorant or looking to boost my ego? If I could set filters to have only locally based people message me I would but until then I will continue to delete messages from people who clearly can’t be bothered to read one sentence. Why should I waste my time doing that when I can concentrate on replying to people who do at least live locally to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's impossible to reply to everyone being on here is hard work , God knows how to decide who to speak to or not I have currently 1883 unread messages I clear them all once a week I do try but it's impossible really"

To save you having 1884 I'll meet you in The John Gilbert later...

Haha in response to the OP it would be nice to get a reply. I can even cope with a "no thanks you're not my type". Had a chat with a lovely woman the other week who just happened to be the other end of the country. Wished her well and offered to buy her a drink if she was ever in the area.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no thanks is my favourite reply most guys would appreciate that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the ten billion moans on the subject I think they'd always like a reply

Here why. it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it. (Not treat me like those hundreds that moan)

That's just one way I see things.

Did you read my post properly?

I said - "it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it"

So if I mailed you, it would have meant that I found we matched, which would mean I had read your profile thoroughly.

For every mail you delete and ignore there is a man that thinks you missed him/or deleted by mistake. Hell mail you again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the ten billion moans on the subject I think they'd always like a reply

Here why. it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it. (Not treat me like those hundreds that moan)

That's just one way I see things.

100% agree. I for one would love a filter on here that could set a distance limit. I would also like a reply button available on messages "thanks but no thanks", it is available on Dogging uk a sister site to this site............can't understand why it isn't on here.

Peeps that don't actually read a profile piss me off no end. I had a couple look at my profile earlier today, they messaged me, so i looked at there profile. They won't meet smokers according to there profile, so i replied pointing this out. Got a nasty message back saying i should be grateful they even messaged me.......................to be honest my reaction was "you can fuck off" and i blocked them.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I reply but then block if it's a no, so they can't come back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the ten billion moans on the subject I think they'd always like a reply

Here why. it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it. (Not treat me like those hundreds that moan)

That's just one way I see things.

Did you read my post properly?

I said - "it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it"

So if I mailed you, it would have meant that I found we matched, which would mean I had read your profile thoroughly.

For every mail you delete and ignore there is a man that thinks you missed him/or deleted by mistake. Hell mail you again.

But what if they don't like blondes? No-one should have to send pics if they don't want to. It's not racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you read my post properly?

I said - "it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it"

So if I mailed you, it would have meant that I found we matched, which would mean I had read your profile thoroughly.

For every mail you delete and ignore there is a man that thinks you missed him/or deleted by mistake. Hell mail you again.

But what if they don't like blondes? No-one should have to send pics if they don't want to. It's not racist. "

I said nothing about blondes, race or pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you read my post properly?

I said - "it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it"

So if I mailed you, it would have meant that I found we matched, which would mean I had read your profile thoroughly.

For every mail you delete and ignore there is a man that thinks you missed him/or deleted by mistake. Hell mail you again.

But what if they don't like blondes? No-one should have to send pics if they don't want to. It's not racist.

I said nothing about blondes, race or pics. "

I thought the Fab forums were all about non-existent reading comprehension.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you read my post properly?

I said - "it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it"

So if I mailed you, it would have meant that I found we matched, which would mean I had read your profile thoroughly.

For every mail you delete and ignore there is a man that thinks you missed him/or deleted by mistake. Hell mail you again.

But what if they don't like blondes? No-one should have to send pics if they don't want to. It's not racist.

I said nothing about blondes, race or pics.

I thought the Fab forums were all about non-existent reading comprehension.

I'd always reply and say thanks but no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you read my post properly?

I said - "it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it"

So if I mailed you, it would have meant that I found we matched, which would mean I had read your profile thoroughly.

For every mail you delete and ignore there is a man that thinks you missed him/or deleted by mistake. Hell mail you again.

But what if they don't like blondes? No-one should have to send pics if they don't want to. It's not racist.

I said nothing about blondes, race or pics.

I thought the Fab forums were all about non-existent reading comprehension.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Judging by the ten billion moans on the subject I think they'd always like a reply

Here why. it would be lovely to see that person treat my message with the same attention I gave it. (Not treat me like those hundreds that moan)

That's just one way I see things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A reply is always better, unless you've never been on the receiving end of silence then people mentioning it seems to be something to become amused/annoyed at and quote FAQs to justify ignorance as if it covers courtesy lol

I only see women and men who are part of couples justifying deleting on forums, the same people who don't get ignored. Usually giving blanket reasons for doing it because 'all single men do x/y' and 'not having the time to answer', probably because they're too busy in the forums telling people why they don't answer

In truth, do as you please, but some of us remember people who don't answer and never try again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it being rude to reply to a nice message from a lovely looking fella that you wont waste their time & effort message flirting because you dont accommodate & wont travel as far as they live?

Would single guys prefer their messages ignored & deleted?

LMP"
hey if he's prepared to travel to you don't understand the problem ,all meets have to be planned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have deleted before but you get them asking why so i answer sorry and give my reason .i do delete rude messages and text speak messages .As lately these have been getting on my tits

Well there is plenty of room..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A reply is always appreciated, just seems a little ignorant to not reply

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

I've been told by a few women that a lot of the time a polite "thanks but no thanks" reply leads the guy to think mmmmmmm she wants me really so she then gets a "why not" or "what if I" type message.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"A reply is always better, unless you've never been on the receiving end of silence then people mentioning it seems to be something to become amused/annoyed at and quote FAQs to justify ignorance as if it covers courtesy lol

In truth, do as you please, but some of us remember people who don't answer and never try again

Perhaps you'd like to reply to everyone that messages my inbox then. A male friend spent an hour doing it for me the other night and had enough as it was never empty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In truth, do as you please, but some of us remember people who don't answer and never try again

Perhaps you'd like to reply to everyone that messages my inbox then. A male friend spent an hour doing it for me the other night and had enough as it was never empty. "

Yeah it would get rather tedious after a while one would imagine. Personally If I were looking and I received a message from someone but circumstances such as distance and accommodation were an issue but I liked said person then I’d make an exception and chat to them in the hopes of becoming friends with the notion of meeting for a social should the opportunity ever present itself but not making specific plans ( most of which would be an unfair plan to make given the amount of obstacles present).

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

I don't mind a reply but I'm not bothered if I don't get a reply..

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I don't mind a reply but I'm not bothered if I don't get a reply.. "

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

I would prefer a reply. I always take time to read a peofile and put effort into a message. So a polite no thank you would be nice.

When I get them I always reply with a thanks you and wish them luck in the future. It's nice to be polite....

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By *irtywildsideMan
over a year ago

Barry

When a guy outside my age range (usually between 18-22) with no pics or veris puts one word in the title and then, if I’m really lucky, “u ok” in the main body of a message when my profile says not to do that then i don’t reply. But if any message shows that the author has taken more than 10 seconds to copy and paste all five or six words and has (shock horror) actually read my profile then I always reply even if it is just to say “thanks but not for me sorry”

The only time i don’t reply to MF couples is when it is clear there is either no F at all or that M is playing without permission.

Never had the F half of a couple message me without the M being aware of it so I would be hypocritical of me to reply just because she is of the fairer sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply be nice but used to none and big enough to accept that as not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In truth, do as you please, but some of us remember people who don't answer and never try again

Perhaps you'd like to reply to everyone that messages my inbox then. A male friend spent an hour doing it for me the other night and had enough as it was never empty. "

Thanks for the offer but no

... as I said there are reasons ppl delete and understandable ones at that, either side anybody is on here they'll feel so he most 'hard done to'. I'm not invalidating what annoys people, being harassed is far worse than being ignored, but everyone seems quick to tell men to stop moaning...even when we're not and merely giving a viewpoint

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Is it being rude to reply to a nice message from a lovely looking fella that you wont waste their time & effort message flirting because you dont accommodate & wont travel as far as they live?

Would single guys prefer their messages ignored & deleted?

LMP"

Have you considered a hotel?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I prefer a polite acknowledgement to say no.

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Replying to somebody you're unlikely to meet or don't want to meet is a real gamble.

All too often it results in attempts to talk you round.

Just deleting and ignoring (or blocking) is much easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Replying to somebody you're unlikely to meet or don't want to meet is a real gamble.

All too often it results in attempts to talk you round.

Just deleting and ignoring (or blocking) is much easier."

Down to individuals I'm afraid. Whilst I would always prefer a polite no thanks/not interested message, block/delete conveys the same message and I never persist. Just old school I suppose..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hate it when someone is really far away and they messaged. It's like yeah you're really nice but really is anything likely to happen cos of the distance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hate it when someone is really far away and they messaged. It's like yeah you're really nice but really is anything likely to happen cos of the distance. "

Yes, the few ladies I chat with are all too far away, more for them than me but it's academic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about message with a cock picture attached that just says "Come and duck on this"

I just delete.. if they can't be civilised, why should I respond?

P.s. yes I know it's a swinging site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about message with a cock picture attached that just says "Come and duck on this"

I just delete.. if they can't be civilised, why should I respond?

P.s. yes I know it's a swinging site

*suck

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

DELETE, DELETE, DELETE

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I would prefer a reply. I always take time to read a peofile and put effort into a message. So a polite no thank you would be nice.

When I get them I always reply with a thanks you and wish them luck in the future. It's nice to be polite...."

You want to do that several hundred times a day yourself then?

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By *urlesque!Woman
over a year ago

Gloucester

As a rule of thumb - if the message has been crafted carefully and it is obvious that effort has gone in, perhaps picking up on my profile I will reply.

If it is a one one-liner, accompanied by a one liner profile with a cock shot...it is a "delete"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A point that may be worth considering. When sending a message,do you assume that the person on the other end is just sitting in front of the screen,waiting for your message and yours only?

Do you consider the possibility that the person may already be deep in conversation with someone else and that interruptions are unwelcome?

In the second scenario,just being deleted may be seen as the more polite option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A point that may be worth considering. When sending a message,do you assume that the person on the other end is just sitting in front of the screen,waiting for your message and yours only?

Do you consider the possibility that the person may already be deep in conversation with someone else and that interruptions are unwelcome?

In the second scenario,just being deleted may be seen as the more polite option."

Really good point, and often very much the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's somebody new that I'm contacting I prefer them to delete so I know where I stand with from the start, it's a clear message they're not interested which saves both parties a lot of unnecessary effort.

If it's somebody I've been talking to for a while and they want to move on then I would prefer a message from them saying how they feel, it's just courtesy if you have invested a lot of time into them.

Just my opinion.

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